Death and odd feelings

[Panache]

Just yesterday September, 7, 2006 a man at my school named mister Petteway died. He died in his mid 30's. I didn't know him that well we chit chatted here and there but we weren't really close friends. Now that he's dead I feel like a have a huge gap in my life. I don't understand why this is seeing as I do not know him that well. Can anyone who has been through a similar situation like this please give me your insight on why this is and how to cope. Also if you have any similar stories feel free to share.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][quote=Type O Negative - Everything Dies][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Well I loved my aunt
But she died
And my uncle Lou
Then he died

I'm searching for something which can't be found
But I'm hoping
I still dream of dad
Though he died

Everything dies
Everything dies

My ma's so sick she might die
Though my girl's quite fit she will die

Still looking for someone who was around
Barely coping
Now I hate myself
Wish I'd die

Everything dies
Everything dies
Everything dies
Everything

(No why)
Oh god I miss you
(No why)
Oh god I miss you
I really miss you

(no no no no)

Everything dies
Everything dies
Everything dies
Everything[/COLOR][/quote][/COLOR]

No one I've ever known has died, but I cant imagine Id like it any.

[sakurasuka]

[size=1]

My two of my three best [and only] friends in the entire universe died. They were cousins.

They moved to Texas. Well, they got taken away from thier mum/aunt and lived in Texas with foster parents.

One died of a drug over-dose. One killed himself.



It sucks majorly. But you have to get past it. We all die eventually.

[/size]

[The13thMan]

[QUOTE=sakurasuka][size=1]

My two of my three best [and only] friends in the entire universe died. They were cousins.

They moved to Texas. Well, they got taken away from thier mum/aunt and lived in Texas with foster parents.

One died of a drug over-dose. One killed himself.



It sucks majorly. But you have to get past it. We all die eventually.

[/size][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Wow, that's really sad. But it seems you've gotten over it. That's good.

The closest i've been to death was my cat dying a while back and my great grandfather dying. I didn't know my great grandfather so it wasn't a big deal. To me he was just a crazy old dude that put holes in our wall and ate hershey kisses. As for my cat though, it was rough. I loved my cat. It took a while for me to get over it. Though a cat is nothing in comparrison to a person dying.

My analysis of your situation is simply that you've experienced a death that was close to you and made you realize that death is real. I think you are mostly worried about other people around you going, those that you care for and love. I think the best thing you can do is realize that you've got to live life to the fullest and then go out and do something fun with people you care about.

Anyways, time heals all wounds.

Later.
[/FONT][/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='The13thMan][COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Anyways, time heals all wounds. [/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

Time doesn't heal cancer or AIDS.

Everyone dies sooner or later and chances are they wont change anything before thy go,. All there is is to enjoy yourself.

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='Tical Blue']Time doesn't heal cancer or AIDS.[/quote]

[color=crimson]Swing and a miss.

A+ for effort.

There's alot of ways people will tell you to deal with someone you know dying. For me, just giving myself a little time to grieve was good enough. Try to move on and you eventually will be able to.

My personal experiences with deaths all include an experience at their funeral. They can be pretty boring if it's someone you didn't know that well- you're mainly there to pay respect, not weep and moan and holler. But if it's someone you really loved, someone you really cared for sitting in the casket motionless then it's much more memorable and a bit surreal.[/color]

[Aberinkula]

One of my friend's mother was killed by her husband. I didn't know her that well but I felt for my friend. It's odd though. When I learned Steve Irwin died I felt a gap as well. Even though I didn't like him that much. It just seems that when someone dies what they did well has something missing. And I agree with Tical Blue's statement. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Maybe people want it that way, but its not true.

Death may make people resort to killing themselves. But death is part of the natural order. Without it we would be crowded with ancient people and creatures. Probably devastating the planet. That's my view anyway.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

My perspective on death is probably different to most others, as a rather staunch Catholic I believe that death is simply another part of life and not something to be feared or mourned over. It's natural of course to miss someone whom we were personally connected to, it'd be inhuman to expect people not to grieve, but I console myself by knowing that that person is with God in a better place and I will see them again eventually.

My own most recent experience with death came with the death of a neighbour's daughter after a car crash, our families are very familiar with one another and my younger brother had gone the entire way through school with the girl who passed away. And while I admit that I was very saddened to see such a young girl, only sixteen years old to meet with a sudden and tragic death, I did my best to make sure my brother and sister understood that she was not gone forever and that as long as they kept her memory she would exist in this world.[/SIZE]

[Pumpkin]

[SIZE=1]When someone you don't know dies, it seems everyone feels remorse. That's why we're human. I definately felt something when my brother-in-law (I really consider him my brother even though he's my sister's husband) died last year in a motorcycle accident. The night he was killed, I didn't even cry due to shock but when you go to the funeral, it was there that I was told this was the last grieving period before we move on with our lives.

As far as I know, my brother's memory will still live on. My sister has moved on in her life to where she's not hysterical, life goes on. However, people who say that you forget the pain, haven't yet experienced a painful separation from someone. It gets better but you will never forget the pain, thats what makes death so dramatic. [/SIZE]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Well I?ve never experienced having someone I know personally die. But I do know that when I was much younger when our first dog died I felt like the time I knew her was far too short. My mom had adopted her as her former owner took off and got involved in all sorts of things like drugs and such and pretty much abandoned his dog. She was already pretty old so she was only with us for about three years and I remember when she had to be put down that it was sad since three years hardly felt like enough time to get to know her.

So I would imagine it?s the same for people who die. On some level we are probably regretting that we didn?t know them as well as we would have liked or rather we didn?t spend as much time with them as we could have. And I think it also reminds us of how everything at one point is going to die. Until that moment I think it?s easy to feel like you are going to live forever and the harsh reality of someone dying makes you feel vulnerable and alone just a bit.

As for how to cope, that I really don?t have any ideas. In our case we eventually got a new dog. You can?t get a new human. >_< But you can make new friends or work on appreciating the friends you already have and if you?ve been thinking I should do this with them and haven?t gotten around to it then by all means do. ^_~[/COLOR]

[random-fox]

my mum died when i was 12... (im 16 now) how i felt then was simply shock n more shock, cos it was an accident (of sorts but i don wanna talk bout it) it came suddenly. i cried a lot at first. occasionally i still do now. its hard growing up without a mum, it just leaves a void in you that you cant ever get rid of. time'll pass, n i'll have friends n boyfriends n get married n have children or even get a stepmum etc but its just not the same. my mum was the one who brought me into this world after all, its hard without her.

[Syk3]

My grandmother died about a month ago, and we were really close. I'll post part of the eulogy I wrote, and hopefully others might find comfort in it.

[quote]No matter how much you prepare yourself? no matter how old the person? no matter how long the transition? no matter how many times you show you care? no matter how ready the person is to go ? it still hurts to lose someone you love. I feel like I?m slipping back and forth between a reality with [her], and the numb reality without her. It?s as if my heart wants to believe that she?s still here, but my brain is forced to correct it. Once we become accustomed to certain patterns in our lives, sewn with stronger and stronger threads as time goes on, to lose any piece is to lose part of ourselves.

Death is exceptionally difficult to deal with for those left behind. Life itself is an axiom for us because it?s all we have ever known, thus it?s not possible to fully comprehend death when we can only compare it to its eternal opposite. Just as true, the lives of those around us since birth become axioms as well. We almost take it for granted that they are alive and that this is a basic truth, knowing no other personal reality. It becomes even harder to confront death when you don?t recognize it as part of the natural life process, but as something perpetually out of sight that usually only afflicts ?other people.? This seems obvious, but can be complicated to accept when it?s someone whom you knew and loved, and if there have been few people around you who passed.

I believe that with each other we have many insights to share, and I hope to do that here today. One of the most important things we can do after someone passes on is to consider the values he or she held dear and attempt to incorporate them into our own lives.

[I go on to explain various values she taught]

Because it?s inevitable, should we be content to define our ?purpose of life? as merely that all life must end? Or is there a higher function we seem to reach for during our stay here? My friend Aristotle and I believe that we constantly try to structure our lives to be happy. The Greek word for happiness is Eudaimonea, but the translation doesn?t do justice to the size of the event. Eudaimonea is closer to describing a type of reflective happiness over the course of one?s lifetime. While [she] certainly was not happy dealing with the cancer that eventually took over her body, looking back at the positive ways she always dealt with events we have reason to believe that she has ultimately attained Eudaimonea. Whatever awaits her, we can rest assured that any physical pain she had from this world has now ceased.

The ?survival? of death is a question on many of our minds lately. To me, this seems possible only if there were a substance within each of us that defined our character, such as a soul. The body would then simply be a person?s container, and they would separate upon destruction of the flesh. But even if this were so, it would be unlike anything we could imagine. To claim a separation of mind and body, one must recognize the crucial connection between the two. Given that the consciousness we have of our own existence comes to us through the senses, without something to do the sensing we would have neither consciousness nor experience.

So? what is it that our bodies are sensing? Reality is not only steeped in having experience, but in how we experience. Our connection to the world is limited by the basic framework of our body, so with any other type of body we would perceive something entirely different. These infinite possible perceptions, and thus? realities, support the conclusion that one ultimate reality, outside experience altogether, must exist. In such a world, with no one there to conceptualize things like space and time, there would be a single, unifying existence free of causality. In other words, to die may be to become one with the world and with God. While you may no longer exist on this plane of reality, nothing can be said of your true state of being.

If we take these philosophical ponderings further, a timeless true reality would mean that we are already with [her], and always have been.

If nothing remains after death but an eternity of nothingness, we need not fear what we won?t be conscious through, and we need not fear inevitability. All that?s left to fear is the potential loss of value in a life we must make the most of while we have it. The meaning of life is to give meaning to it; the least we can do is share it with others while there?s time.[/quote]

[Sojiro47]

I won't call myself an expert as I'm still alive, but I have lost more friend than most, and I'm only 16. It's something funny, death. You talk to somebody every now and then, or you see someone everyday. But then they die, and you suddenly feel this chasim, this unfillible abiss, and it almost hurts. I've lost many friends and aquantances to death, but I still can't explain this feeling of darkness, and why I feel it. All that can be done to ease it is moarn. And sometimes that doesn't ease it either. It's at times like this that you turn to your dearest friends to help you.