Familiar Thieves

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Tahoma]Back when I was 8 or so, my 'best friend' at the time had invited me over for the night. The next morning, just before I was about to leave, she got mad at me and stole something out of my bag while I wasn't in the room. I confronted her immediately when I noticed it was missing but she flat-out denied doing it. Thankfully her younger sister came to my aid and showed me where the stolen item had been hidden and after that we pretty much had no friendship anymore.

I've no real advice to give, but that's a personal experience to show you're not the only one who's had to suffer through friends that have little to no boundaries when it comes to right and wrong.

Those who can't/don't show respect and aren't honest shouldn't get any respect or trust in return.
But that's just my opinion *shrug*[/FONT]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][QUOTE=nezzyjean] ANYWAY, this weekend i was sleeping over at one of my friends house, and what do i see on her bedside table? my little glass whale. So I ask her, "Oh hey, is that my whale?" and shes all like: "No, I found this at my house."

I remember now that i had slept over at her house a few days after I recieved the whale, and I hadn't seen it since then, so I tell her that I left it at her house, and she says "Well, I just find stuff sometimes," and refuses to give it back to me.

This girl happens to have a history of stealing, she just got caught shoplifting at the mall 2 or 3 weeks ago, and I know she had stolen an incredible amount of items before that..but she said that she would never ever steal from a person or one of her friends.

I don't know why, but i seem to be unlucky with this kind of stuff. In kindergarten and first grade, my best friend stole stuff from me all the time and even black mailed me into giving her all our mock money we got for good behavior to buy prizes at the end of each semester by saying she wouldn't be my friend anymore.

So, my questions are: A) How do i get the whale back? and B) Have you ever had a person you considered a friend or any person you even knew steal things from you?[/QUOTE]Based on what you have said it sounds like getting things is more important to your friend than your friendship. What I don?t understand is if you know she has a history of stealing why you would take something you consider important with you to her house. Saying she would never steal from her friends is just a way to justify in her mind that stealing is okay so long as its not from someone you know. Usually those who steal all the time are not bothered by whether or not the item belongs to a friend. They might be at first but if they continue stealing they pretty much always cross that line.

Seeing that she did steal from you is an indication that she enjoys stealing too much to quit. Though I would double check your home to make sure it?s not laying around somewhere as I?m sure the store you spoke of sells more than one. Though it sounds like that isn?t the case here.

You can try talking to her parents but chances are they aren?t going to want to hear that their daughter is a thief. Parents tend to either deny that their child has issues or they will make their kid give the stuff back. It just depends on if you want to end your friendship or not as confronting their family is likely to end it.

The problem with her stealing all the time is that often its an indication that there are other problems in the family structure. Often it?s a case of the parents being unwilling to face the fact that on some level they have failed to teach their kids good ethics. It reminds me of a case where we had some boys stealing from cars and the mother insisted that her boys would never do such a thing. But then one of the neighbors who was tired of it caught it on tape and her new response was boys will be boys. So you might have the same problem here, even if you can prove it her parents may still act like it?s no big deal. Anyway, it can also be a case of them falling in with bad company and they do it to impress their new friends. Its hard to know.

So at this point you have to decide which is more important. The item or your friendship. If it?s the item. Just make a point of going to her house, take it and leave. If it?s her friendship, let it go and make a point of never bringing anything you value over to her place. And try to keep the times she?s at your place down as well. Unless you can somehow hide everything important to you. Though that can be a pain to do. [/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Lunox][color=dimgray'] It's every other teenage girl, not every other teenage white girl. [/color][/quote]

Well, I am really only speaking of Spencers as I have not been witness/heard much about stealing from other places.

95% of the people who steal from Spencers are teenage suburban white girls.

EDIT: ah! I finally managed to remember a stealing experience.

Back when we were littler, my bro and I were avid Pokemon card collectors. On this day all the kids in our cul-de-sac were at our house to play in the pool. There was this new kid in the neighboorhood who lived just outside the neighboorhood who we'd all just met. He was there too. On that day, all of our Fire cards were scattered on the dining room table. At some point, the kid had gone home to 'get something to drink'.

Not long after he got back, my bro and I were looking through the cards to show him my bro's Charizard (any Pokemon collector knows Charizard was the **** back in the day). Of course, we can't find the Charizard anywhere even after looking through our binders. Later, everyone had left the house and we still hadnt found it.

Hours later the kids dad comes bearing the Charizard. Apparently the kid told his dad he 'traded a Nidoking for it' and his dad didn't think it sounded right.

I dont think any of us ever saw the kid again.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

In a case like this, I'm not sure if stealing the whale back is the right option, that said I think leaving it in her possession is completely the wrong option. Go to her parents and explain the situation to them, the whale was a gift and if you can successfully prove it's yours then her parents should support you even against their own child, especially if they're aware of her "sticky fingers" problem.

After you get the whale back, ditch her, any friend that steals from you in no friend at all, and I know this from personal experience. If they do it once to you, there's no limit to the amount of times that they're prepared to do it, all it takes is opportunity.[/SIZE]

[2010DigitalBoy]

As for solutions, I agree with the parents idea, but really it depends how close you are.

Really.. we should prolly not make any more suggestions till the poster gives us more info ^^;;

[nezzyjean]

[quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue']What I don?t understand is if you know she has a history of stealing why you would take something you consider important with you to her house.[/color][/quote]

It was a glass whale about 1 inch in size and I had it in my purse...i had no idea that A) she would ever steal anything non-retail, B) that she would even want it anyway, or C) if she even knew of its existence. Thus, I have brought about my own demise..ahh.

[quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue']Though I would double check your home to make sure it?s not laying around somewhere as I?m sure the store you spoke of sells more than one. Though it sounds like that isn?t the case here.[/COLOR][/quote]

Yes, it is not the case. My sister purchased this in a corny little town modeled to look like a German town, which is filled with nick nack shops and tubing places, and is approximately 2 or 3 hours away from where we live. I think I left that out before...

[quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue']You can try talking to her parents but chances are they aren?t going to want to hear that their daughter is a thief. Parents tend to either deny that their child has issues or they will make their kid give the stuff back.[/COLOR][/quote]


When she got caught shoplifting at the mall, Nordstrom's called her parents, so they know about her shoplifting, and got no punishment besides that now, she's not allowed to go to the mall without supervision..and her mom asked her to give her all the things she had stolen, but she only gave her a few things from the mass amount that fills her closet and droors.

[quote name='indifference][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue']So at this point you have to decide which is more important. The item or your friendship. If it?s the item. Just make a point of going to her house, take it and leave. If it?s her friendship, let it go and make a point of never bringing anything you value over to her place. And try to keep the times she?s at your place down as well. Unless you can somehow hide everything important to you. Though that can be a pain to do.[/COLOR][/quote]

See, I really did value this friendship before, but after she has stolen something from me, I really can't trust her ever again. And without trust, there is no friendship, right? But I'm not sure if she really knows its mine or not..I blatantly told her it was mine though, but maybe she really thinks that it isnt?


I've pretty much decided that the best way to get it back is to just take it. But how do I do so without it being [strong]completely[/strong] obvious that I took it? That way, it might not completely ruin the friendship?


I don't know if its even worth it. I think she [strong]does[/strong] have a problem with stealing, sometimes she would even steal things that she didn't even want..but I never expected her to ever steal from me.

[QUOTE=Tical Blue] Not long after he got back, my bro and I were looking through the cards to show him my bro's Charizard (any Pokemon collector knows Charizard was the **** back in the day). Of course, we can't find the Charizard anywhere even after looking through our binders. Later, everyone had left the house and we still hadnt found it.

Hours later the kids dad comes bearing the Charizard. Apparently the kid told his dad he 'traded a Nidoking for it' and his dad didn't think it sounded right.
[/QUOTE]


Aw man, This little kid in my neighborhood did that kind of thing too back in the day. He stole a bunch of cards from my friend, (among those a holographic Machamp, not as nice as the Charizard, but still pretty high up there) who lived next door to him, and when they told his mom, she refused to beleive it and told us to leave her kid alone.

Thus a war went down and our whole street still pretty much doesn't get along, just because that crazy mother wouldn't make her spoiled little son give the cards back.

[Adahn]

[size=2]Well, nezzyjean, I just looked at your profile, and you're about 17, right?[/size]

[size=2]You should be able to make a decision on your own. However, seeing now as we know her parents don't want her stealing things, punished her for stealing, and wanted her to give everything back, one course of action seems best to me.[/size]

[size=2]It can be awkward talking to other people's parents, but I think that has the best chance of a good outcome.[/size]

[size=2]I'd tell them about the whale, and how it was a gift from your sister, and how rare it would be for two of them to be in one place. Tell them how you were at their house, and you lost it there, and that it ended up in their daughter's possession. Tell them that you know it's yours, and you'd really like to have it back, but their daughter doesn't believe that. If it's necessary, you can get your sister to vouch for you, but I don't think it will be. They will get your whale back, and if you don't say anything about her having stolen it, you may get out with your friendship intact, if you still want it. If your friend is angry at you getting it back and holds it against you, then she's probably too warped to be friends with anyone.[/size]

[size=2]One last (I guess not last, since I'm still writing) note, judging by the purse comment I take it you're a girl? I'm sorry, but I thought throughout this whole thing that you were a male about 3 or 4 years younger than you actually are, and based most of my decisions on this. It really is strange the impressions we get when we talk to people on the internet.[/size]

[size=2]Anywho, to recap. The parents don't like her having stolen property, they probably like you, and given the girl's history, will probably believe you over her, in a matter such as this. Be as honest and forthcoming as possible.[/size]

[size=2]Lastly, if you take it without explaining everything to her parents, your friend may be able to convince them that you stole the whale from her, the rightful owner, which could open a rift between your two families.[/size]

[size=2]This really is a touchy situation, and whatever you decide to do, proceed with care.[/size]

[size=2]P.S. Now that you've been identified as a 17-year old girl, everybody's gonna think you're hawt ;)[/size]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2]EDIT: Pssh, holo Machamp. You can get one of those in the 10 dollar starter pack. Charizard is, always has been, and always will be, the ****.[/size]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Well taking into account everything that has happened, is it possible that your sister still has the receipt for the whale she gave you? You could take that and go to the girl?s parents and explain what happened. If they don?t believe you show them the receipt and ask them to get their daughter to show them her receipt for buying it. It?s a given that she won?t have one.

Since they know she has a habit of stealing they are probably going to believe you. And in all honesty do you really want to maintain a friendship where the other person has no problem stealing from you? If she was really your friend she would never have taken it. Even if you accidentally left it a real friend would have just given it back to you.

If you talk to her parents and she apologizes and gives it back I would give her another chance. If it turns out bad then like others have said, it sounds like she?s not someone you want to be friends with anyway. [/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen']Well taking into account everything that has happened, is it possible that your sister still has the receipt for the whale she gave you? You could take that and go to the girl?s parents and explain what happened. If they don?t believe you show them the receipt and ask them to get their daughter to show them her receipt for buying it. It?s a given that she won?t have one.[/COLOR][/quote]
[size=1]That's easily countered by just saying "I threw it away already... why would I keep it?" And logically, that makes sense; when's the last time you kept a receipt from your last purchase under $20?[/size]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='Retribution][size=1']That's easily countered by just saying "I threw it away already... why would I keep it?" And logically, that makes sense; when's the last time you kept a receipt from your last purchase under $20?[/size][/quote]I didn't think about it being easily countered by such a statement. But then I've been learning how to keep track of where my money is spent so I keep all my reciepts and write down all of my purchases and keep everything organized by month. >_< I take it from your response that most people don't do that? Though I was mostly thinking from the standpoint that the reciept would prove that they bought it from a place the girl hasn't been too since she was saying it was several hours away where she and her sister went. But I guess that's a he said she said sort of thing right?[/COLOR]

[Ikillion]

[COLOR=#99121c][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS][quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=SeaGreen'] But then I've been learning how to keep track of where my money is spent so I keep all my reciepts and write down all of my purchases and keep everything organized by month. >_< [/COLOR][/quote]

O_o

No, most people don't. The only thing that I really keep track of when I spend something using my Credit Card which is already rare. (USAA is awesome for keeping track of electronic purchases like that). I always tend to keep things that are really expensive though. (Probably from $60 and up) just for a couple of days though, after that it fades of into who knows where.

Given an estimate though I would say probably about 50-55% of people don't really keep an intensive guide on things that they spend that arnt really that costly, liek fast food stuf, quick gifts that kind of stuff.

Bravo for you doing that though, Bravo indeed.

However for the topic at hand. What I would do is actually make sure that it is yours first, and given the person in question's background with stealing and such. I would just probably take it back the next time you see her and just end said friendship there. It isnt worth it to have a friend who would steal something like that from you.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]