gee-man Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Well yeah, as you can probably tell, I'm new around here, but I'm working on a manga and I feel that I need some critique and suggestions. Here goes Well anyway, my manga takes place in pretty much modern day world. Well, sorta world cuz the two main characters, an angel and a demon come from Heaven and Hell. So these two pretty much hate each other and are always arguing. When they're combined, chaos and destruction ensues. So they cause so much trouble that God and even Satan decide to force them to stay on Earth in the mortal realm and live their lives out as human beings again as punishment. Also, they can't leave within 5 miles of each other. So pretty much, these two enemies forced to always be close. So pretty much, the manga is about how the adjust to being human again, getting jobs, trying to prove they're responsible enough, or in the demon's case, getting into as much trouble as possible, meeting new friends, a few enemies along the way too...And in the end, they're faced with the problem, do they want to return back to Heaven and Hell where they've been for so long? Or stay in the mortal realm and live the life of a living human being again? So yeah, that's the concept. The manga is supposed to be mostly comedy with some action and drama thrown into it. What do you think? Good? Bad? So-So? Any suggestions or ideas? I'm practically open to anything at this point... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azarath Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Well..I have a question.Are they girls.guys.or 1 is a girl and the other is a guy? I think that's a pretty good plot for the story.I haven't really heard before so taht makes it even better.Now i have maybe a good suggestion.Possibly not.I thought that it would be pretty cool if they couldn't leave each other sight or can't leave each other for more than 5 or 10 minutes.Therefore making there lives worse than they already are at the moment.Maybe i'm changing the whole thing.If you think i am ignore everything i just said.But I think that your story is gonna be awesome. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gee-man Posted September 13, 2006 Author Share Posted September 13, 2006 [QUOTE=Azarath]Well..I have a question.Are they girls.guys.or 1 is a girl and the other is a guy? I think that's a pretty good plot for the story.I haven't really heard before so taht makes it even better.Now i have maybe a good suggestion.Possibly not.I thought that it would be pretty cool if they couldn't leave each other sight or can't leave each other for more than 5 or 10 minutes.Therefore making there lives worse than they already are at the moment.Maybe i'm changing the whole thing.If you think i am ignore everything i just said.But I think that your story is gonna be awesome. :D[/QUOTE] They're both guys. If one was a girl and one was a guy. The demon either way would probably take advantage of the angel... >_> But yeah, I kinda like the 10 minute thing. It would make their lives even more complicated. Thanks for the idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azarath Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Your welcome.Just wanted to make sure i wasn't changing it.And yes.It does make their lives more complicated.I would think the demon to take advantage of the angel.It makes it even more complicated since you told me their both guys.I don't mean complicated in the since of the word confusing me.I mean it in the sense of the word being it makes it more interesting than it already is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon of Blades Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 I have a question...Do they still have the power they had when they where in there respected relems? If so that would make it more interesting to see them use there powers in the mortal world on trying to contrict the others actions. Is there a person that they both are interested in and try to win there effections, because if there was that would spark an even greater rivaly between them. Like the one person said if my ideas would change the story too much then it is better off to ignore my ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gee-man Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 [QUOTE=Demon of Blades]I have a question...Do they still have the power they had when they where in there respected relems? If so that would make it more interesting to see them use there powers in the mortal world on trying to contrict the others actions. Is there a person that they both are interested in and try to win there effections, because if there was that would spark an even greater rivaly between them. Like the one person said if my ideas would change the story too much then it is better off to ignore my ideas.[/QUOTE] I'm undecided on whether they should keep their powers or not. I mean, they are being punished after all. Would you send a serial killer to jail and let him keep his gun? And as for both of them trying to win over one girl. The thing is that I don't want this manga to turn into a bitter drama. The manga is overall supposed to be comical and realitvely lighthearted despite their situation. I'm still thinking of whether to introduce girls into their lives or not but I think I probably will. Also, I just don't like love triangles, they're too cliche. Those are for romance manga. My manga isn't really much of a romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon of Blades Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 [QUOTE=gee-man]I'm undecided on whether they should keep their powers or not. I mean, they are being punished after all. Would you send a serial killer to jail and let him keep his gun? And as for both of them trying to win over one girl. The thing is that I don't want this manga to turn into a bitter drama. The manga is overall supposed to be comical and realitvely lighthearted despite their situation. I'm still thinking of whether to introduce girls into their lives or not but I think I probably will. Also, I just don't like love triangles, they're too cliche. Those are for romance manga. My manga isn't really much of a romance.[/QUOTE] Well I didn't mean for it to be a romance just something to make more contraversy between them and yes I would send a serial killer to jail with his gun to see the action....It would be a new sport...ooo and then bomb the jail if he got past a certein area. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azarath Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Um.....I don't think i would send a serial killer to jail with a gun.But now that i think about it It would be cool to send him with the gun just to see the action.That would be extremely cool.Now let's get back to the topic. I think that maybe since they're being punished that once they're put back on the earth the demon starts threatening the angel and trys to attack it but when he does he sees that he can no longer use his powers.And he keeps trying until he finally gives up.Then he blames it on the angel or something along those lines.I hope I'm not changing anything.Tell me if i am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gee-man Posted September 15, 2006 Author Share Posted September 15, 2006 [QUOTE=Azarath]Um.....I don't think i would send a serial killer to jail with a gun.But now that i think about it It would be cool to send him with the gun just to see the action.That would be extremely cool.Now let's get back to the topic. I think that maybe since they're being punished that once they're put back on the earth the demon starts threatening the angel and trys to attack it but when he does he sees that he can no longer use his powers.And he keeps trying until he finally gives up.Then he blames it on the angel or something along those lines.I hope I'm not changing anything.Tell me if i am.[/QUOTE] Don't worry, you haven't changed aything in a negative way. I already was thinking of having the demon blame the angel. But more out of a comedy than a serious accusation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azarath Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Well.It did sound like a comedy from your first post.If it was serious that would make it a whole different thing.And then it wouldn't be as funny.Or maybe i just think that. At the current time i can't think of more suggestions.Surprising isn't it.But now i take that back Cause i just thought of some character designs.But then it's like I"m taking the story into my own hands.If you've already come up with the character designs just tell me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gee-man Posted September 16, 2006 Author Share Posted September 16, 2006 [QUOTE=Azarath]Well.It did sound like a comedy from your first post.If it was serious that would make it a whole different thing.And then it wouldn't be as funny.Or maybe i just think that. At the current time i can't think of more suggestions.Surprising isn't it.But now i take that back Cause i just thought of some character designs.But then it's like I"m taking the story into my own hands.If you've already come up with the character designs just tell me.[/QUOTE] Yeah actually. I arleady kinda have. I've been working on this project for quite a while. I mean, I'm gonna kinda do it like Megatokyo and make it up as I go along, but I've been working on the story and characters for about 6-7 monthes now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sjenka Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 [QUOTE=gee-man]I'm undecided on whether they should keep their powers or not. I mean, they are being punished after all. Would you send a serial killer to jail and let him keep his gun? And as for both of them trying to win over one girl. The thing is that I don't want this manga to turn into a bitter drama. The manga is overall supposed to be comical and realitvely lighthearted despite their situation. I'm still thinking of whether to introduce girls into their lives or not but I think I probably will. Also, I just don't like love triangles, they're too cliche. Those are for romance manga. My manga isn't really much of a romance.[/QUOTE] I like to write stories myself, although I never drew manga (maybe someday). I wouldn't leave them their powers. I think it would be fun to see them trying to adjust to a life of a "mere mortal". It would be fun to add a girl too. They could be fighting to win her affections only to prove to each other who is better (no deep feelings and tragic romances) and in the end, you could make them both loose to a third guy, or you could make one honestly fall in love with her (I always like when a demon learns about a feeling of love) and the other (in my case an angel) learns to respect his adversary and his newly learned feelings and accepts them. As said before, the idea is yours, this is just a suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azarath Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 [quote name='gee-man']Yeah actually. I arleady kinda have. I've been working on this project for quite a while. I mean, I'm gonna kinda do it like Megatokyo and make it up as I go along, but I've been working on the story and characters for about 6-7 monthes now.[/quote] Oh.I thought you had just started like a few days ago.Some people do that and so I just guessed.But if I can help with the story anymore just tell me and I'd be happy to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makuno Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Here's another idea! They have to go to school! They must live as if they were just regular people, and AREN'T allowed to use any powers. Until God or Satan says so... ~CamuiAme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mei Mei Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I enjoy the idea of this manga. I too have written stories before... though I want to work on my drawing skills before starting a manga. I really think it'd be funny if they have to go to school, face bullies and mean teachers, and (the angel) try not to get caught... or something like that. Still, I don't want to make you change you're story if you don't want to. But what ever way things happen I just bet it'll be great Mei Mei Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest triple helixXx Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 hey i think its pretty good. I mean as far as the comedy aspect goes. how about like for action they are rivals right and rivals are extremely competitive. so like they can do stuff like see who can make the best coffee for the boss(if they work in the same building) and at the same time they turn a simple task like making coffee into a destructive process . what do you think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Naui27 Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 The idea of the comic is nice and you're making a comic that is also another thing. When i tried to make a comic i made like a whole 30 pages and my Drawings suck and i have no good experience in story writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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