Writing OtakuBoards: The Broadway Show! [PG]

[Boo]

[size=1]Okay, this was something scary set in motion in a conversation with Katana. She was just listening to the official Avenue Q Broadway soundtrack, so we started creating our own lyrics to the songs. We have three songs so far, but I only cleaned one up.

[i]Note:[/i] All the content is totally fictional. Any resemblances with real people or anything you might see as an opinion by the creator, are of course purely coincidental.

Enjoy the first song, based on "It Sucks To Be Me". The lyrics are easy to find on Google.



[center][size=2][b]My OB life sucks.[/b][/size]

[i]The curtains open and we see Boo with a spot lit on him.[/i]

[b]Boo[/b]
What do you do with hundreds of posts in the Art Studio?
What is my life going to be?
Four years of OtakuBoards, and plenty of bores, have earned me this useless amount of posts. I can't become a mod yet, because I didn't read the rules yet.
The web is a big scary place!
But somehow I can't shake the feeling I might make, a difference to the otaku race!

[i]Katana walks on stage. The spot changes into a pool of light.[/i]

[b]Katana[/b]
Morning, Boo~!

[b]Boo[/b]
Hi, Katana.

[b]Katana[/b]
How's life?

[b]Boo[/b]
Disappointing.

[b]Katana[/b]
Aww, what's wrong?

[b]Boo[/b]
The OBWT judges voted me away.

[b]Katana[/b]
Oh, I'm happy.

[b]Boo[/b]
I'm not. I mean, look at my history. I have thousands of posts and I always thought?

[b]Katana[/b]
...Was?

[b]Boo[/b]
No, it sounds lifeless?

[b]Katana[/b]
I'm sure, but do tell. =)

[b]Boo[/b]
When I was a newbie, I thought I would be-

[b]Katana[/b]
What?

[b]Boo[/b]
A moderator in Music, Movies & TV.

[b]Katana[/b]
Hahaha! Oh?

[b]Boo[/b]
But now I'm here for four years and as you can see, I'm not.

[b]Katana[/b]
Uh, nope.

[b]Boo[/b]
It sucks to be me.

[b]Katana[/b]
No?

[b]Boo[/b]
It sucks to be me.

[b]Katana[/b]
Nooo!

[b]Boo[/b]
It sucks to be a normal member and turning 5 OtakuBoards years old.
It sucks to be me.

[b]Katana[/b]
You think your OB life sucks?

[b]Boo[/b]
I think so.

[b]Katana[/b]
Your problems aren't so bad.
I'm kinda hyper, but pretty damn cute.

[b]Boo[/b]
You are!

[b]Katana[/b]
Thanks~!
I like more different things like Broadway and graphics!
And as you know, I have a nice sense of humour.
So WHY, do I not have one type of pretend husband?!
It sucks to be me.

[b]Boo[/b]
Me too!

[b]Katana[/b]
It sucks to be me.

[b]Boo[/b]
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Boo.

[b]Katana[/b]
And Kat.

[b]Boo[/b]
To not be a mod.

[b]Katana[/b]
To not have a pretend husband.

[b]Boo and Katana[/b]
It sucks to be me.

[i]A mumbling Retri and White get on stage. The whole stage is now lit.[/i]

[b]Boo[/b]
Hey, White, Retri, can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?

[b]Retri[/b]
Yeah, sure, what?

[b]Katana[/b]
Whose OB life sucks more, mine or Boo's?

[b]Retri and White[/b]
Ours!

[b]White[/b]
We live together in the mod lounge.

[b]Retri[/b]
We're as close as mods can get

[b]White[/b]
We've been in each others buddy lists ...

[b]Retri[/b]
Ever since we were given mod rods

[b]White[/b]
So he knows lots of way to make me really upset. Oh, all of our horrific conversations.

[b]Retri[/b]
Come on, that's an exaggeration!

[b]White[/b]
You leave bad posts and you act like a mod everywhere.

[b]Retri[/b]
*gasp* Oh yeah? You do such obnoxious things like starting up Graphic Tournaments!

[b]Boo and Katana[/b]
*laughs nervously* We're in those...

[b]White[/b]
You make the Art Studio you moderate, a hell!

[b]Retri[/b]
Well, you don't do your job much better! That's why I'm in hell too!

[b]White[/b]
It sucks to be me!

[b]Retri[/b]
It sucks to be meee!

[b]Katana[/b]
It sucks to be meeee!

[b]Boo[/b]
It sucks to be me!

[b]All[/b]
Is there anybody at the Boards it doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me ;_;

[i]While the others were singing, Gurt walked on stage.[/i]

[b]Gurt[/b]
Why are you all so happy?

[b]Retri[/b]
'cause our lives suck!

[i]A pool of light appears, with Gurt in the center.[/i]

[b]Gurt[/b]
Your lives suck?
I'm hearing you correctly? Ha!
I came to the Art Studio, to do something different. I tried to work with Photoshop, but I'm stuck to PSP.
But with hard work I'll master it once, with tutorials!
Now I'm a moderator, along with a dozen of others in my board. I have a normal member 'husband' and he's in every RP I make.
It sucks to be me! It sucks to be me!
I say it Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucks!
It sucks to be me!

[i]Big pool of light. From the other side of the screen, DW comes up holding a suitcase.[/i]

[b]DW[/b]
Ahoy, bitches!

[b]Boo[/b]
Pardon me?

[b]DW[/b]
Oh! *ahem* Sorry to talk like a pirate, it's still too early...Anyways, I was looking for a place to crash.

[b]Gurt[/b]
Why are you looking all the way in this corner of the web?

[b]DW[/b]
I got kicked out of the sexy pirate inn...had no money. But this place looks a lot cheaper! Hey, there's a place for rent!

[b]Boo[/b]
You need to talk to the administrator. Let me send him a message.

[b]DW[/b]
W00t!

[b]Boo[/b]
Yo, James!

[i]James comes on stage from the direction Boo yelled in.[/i]

[b]James[/b]
What is it now Boo?

[b]DW[/b]
Holy crap it's Man-Faye!

[b]James[/b]
NO I'M NOT!
My name's James, from the continent down under.
I had a normal life that got stolen by the OB. Now I'm paranoid, and I'm accused of hitting on under-age girls.
But I'm the administrator - the ruler! - of OtakuBoards!.

[b]All[/b]
It sucks to be you!

[b]Katana[/b]
Pfft, you win!

[b]All[/b]
It sucks to be you!

[b]Boo[/b]
I feel better now!

[b]James[/b]
Try having people IMing you to ask you, 'Duuude, are you Man-Faye?' It's obnoxious.

[b]All[/b]
It sucks to be you.
On OtakuBoards (Sucks to be me).
On OtakuBoards (Sucks to be you).
On OtakuBoards (Sucks to be us).
But not when we're together.
We're together here on OtakuBoards!
We browse OtakuBoards! Our friends do too!
'Til our digital dreams come true,
we browse OtakuBoards!

[b]DW[/b]
...This is pretty scary.

[b]All[/b]
We browse OtakuBoards!

[b]Retri[/b]
Be a good member.

[b]All[/b]
We browse OtakuBoards!

[b]James[/b]
Here's your confirmation!

[b]All[/b]
Welcome to OtakuBoards!
PS: [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/rules.php?][u]Read the rules[/u][/url].

[i]The light dims, while the actors leave the stage. The curtains close under strong supportive music by the orchestra.[/i][/center]




The character names are based on the (lengths of) names of the original characters, mostly. The text is later written to the name that came up.
[list][*]Katana - Kate Monster
[*]Boo - Brian
[*]Retri - Nicky
[*]White - Rod (both have one syllable)
[*]Gurt / Ezekiel - Eve (both have one syllable)
[*]DW / Dragon Warrior - Princeton
[*]James - Gary Coleman[/list]

I hope you enjoyed the show so far. You may get a drink or popcorn, or whatever else they eat in theaters. [/size]

[Katana]

[size=1][color=royalblue]Truly horrifying in one way, but truly amazing in another. And yet, nicely edited, since our first copy had about fifteen extra people that could've been put into certain roles.

As stated, this is a loving rip-off from [b]Avenue Q[/b]. First came some of "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist" and then "Schadenfreude". The first one has to be finished, while the second one just has to be cleaned up a bit, due to...offenses. Blah.

Soo...who can be Trekkie Monster, Lucy the Slut, and the Bad Idea Bears? >.>
I'm just sort of regretting casting myself as Kate Monster and Dragon Warrior as Princeton. *cough* And don't you dare bring up "Retri's going to find his purpose!" again or I'll kill you. =_=;;[/color][/size]

[Ellerby]

[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Oh boy, that was awesome.

I really can't think of much to say except that it was incredibly entertaining (especially considering I haven't seen Avenue 6). It really did seem like a broadway song and I could even play it through my head (even if the tune was different from the actual song it's based off). I expect more! And soon! [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]I'm sure I've heard this song at some point, because I listen to the Broadway radio channel on my TV all the time. I'd be able to distinguish "Everyone's a Little Bit Rascist," though, because I've heard it enough.

Anyway, I thought it was really neato. I'm a big Broadway fanatic, and OB parodies are (almost) always interesting!

(Psst, you could also write something like "The Anime Lounge is for Hentai." :D)[/FONT]

[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]Yay, you made me Eve~

I always adored her part the most. (And Onix isn't in ALL of my roleplays...>>)

That was extremely well done, only a couple of times did I lose the tune in my head, but I guess that's to be expected. I'm really impressed by how you made everything fit together well.

I look forward to the other songs~[/SIZE]

[Katana]

[size=1]Alright people, get back into your seats. Please turn off all cell phones and beepers, and if you have a camera or recording device, you will be stabbed within the next five minutes unless you put them away. Thank you and enjoy the second score.[/size]

[center][size=2][b]Otakufreunde[/b][/size]

[size=1][i]The curtains open to reveal a dreary Avenue OB, effects of rain splashing in the background. Boo is sitting, huddled up in a soaked cardboard box, looking ragged. With the first notes from the piano, Katana walks on, taking immediate reaction to Boo.[/i]

[b]Katana[/b]
Ahh...Boo...Right know, you're down and out of the graphics match...and feeling pretty crappy.

[b]Boo[/b]
I'll say.

[b]Katana[/b]
And when I see how "sad" you are...it sort of makes me...giddy...!

[i]The beat picks up and dives into a guitar-driven ballad. Lights explode on the stage.[/i]

[b]Boo[/b]
Giddy?!

[b]Katana[/b]
Sorry Boris, youkai nature...Nothing I can do!
It's...Schadenfreude! Making me feel glad that I finally got farther in a graphics tourament

[b]Boo[/b]
Well, that's very nice for you, Ginger, but it still doesn't explain the giddy part.

[b]Katana[/b]
I didn't say it to explain why I was giddy
But everybody else is doing it
Did'ja ever cheer when a n00b went up a seasoned graphic vet?

[b]Boo[/b]
Yeah

[b]Katana[/b]
And ain't it fun to see shouting matches about the use of brushes?

[b]Boo[/b]
Sure!

[b]Katana[/b]
Don't'cha feel all warm and secure, seeing a struggling newbie?

[b]Boo[/b]
You bet!

[b]Katana[/b]
That's - Schadenfreude! People taking pleasure in your pain~!

[b]Boo[/b]
Hmm Schadenfreude, huh? What...what's that? Some kind of grammar nazi word?

[b]Katana[/b]
Yeap. It's Grammar Nazee for "happiness at the misfortune of others".

[b]Boo[/b]
"Happiness at the misfortune of others"... That IS Grammar Nazee.
Watching a moderator being told she just broke a rule

[b]Katana[/b]
Or watching a newbie realize just what mess he created

[b]Boo[/b]
Being in a RP story, when a newbie asks "is it full?"

[b]Katana[/b]
Oh yeah - "YES!"

[b]Boo[/b]
Schadenfreude!

[b]Katana[/b]
Fuck you newbie, that's what the Inn is for!

[b]Boo[/b]
Ooo, how about asskissers getting warnings?

[b]Katana[/b]
"Married" couples breaking up?

[b]Boo[/b]
Telling vets that they are wrong?

[b]Katana[/b]
Watching people being banned!

[b]Boo[/b]
Anti-mods becoming moderators!

[b]Katana[/b]
Administrators being hated!

[b]Boo[/b]
Watching debaters never reach -

[b]Boo and Katana[/b]
- the ending of their religious speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

[b]Katana[/b]
The boards needs people like you and me, who've been looked down by the mods
'cause when people see us, they don't wanna be us, and that makes them feel great!

[b]Boo[/b]
We provide a vital service, to web communities

[b]Boo and Katana[/b]
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the web a better place
Making the web a better place
Making the web a better place
To beeeeeeeee....

[b]Katana[/b]
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

[i]Katana walks off laughing while Boo remains in his rain-soaked cardboard box. The lights dim as the orchestra finishes on a triumphant note.[/i][/center]




A simple two-person cast this time, with no regards to the previous acts.
[list]
[*]Katana - Gary Coleman
[*]Boo - Nicky
[/list]
We hope you enjoyed the scene. Please stay in your seats until the next curtain rises.[/size]

[2010DigitalBoy]

I wish I knew how these songs were meant to sound, but either way, I find this play interesting and quite funny. I think I may be a cause for Schadenfreude XD

[quote=Boo]
Katana
Fuck you newbie, that's what the Inn is for!

Boo
Ooo, how about asskissers getting warnings?

Katana
"Married" couples breaking up?

Boo
Telling vets that they are wrong?

Katana
Watching people being banned!

Boo
Anti-mods becoming moderators!

Katana
Administrators being hated!

Boo
Watching debaters never reach -

Boo and Katana
- the ending of their religious speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
[/quote]

- Jawesome.

It seems kinda weird, though, that the characters would switch roles in other scenes.

[Boo]

[size=1]Yeah we know, but they aren't really switching roles. In this part, Gary Coleman wasn't acting like the leader of Avenue Q, so he could be replaced with anyone we liked (and the same goes for Nicky). Muhaha.[/size]

[Kredion]

[i]Is completely Scared out of his wits.[/i]

it was great wonderful and COMPLETELY NUTS AWESOME!

I think you guys have way to much time on you hands