Raina Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [COLOR=Blue]I'm 19 years old (going to be 20 in November)... And I finally have a boyfriend for the first time in my life... (He's 22) It's a weird feeling... I don't really know how to explain it... Any way, I'm quite lost, because it's a whole new experience... So does anyone have any advice? For example, when we kiss, we hit our teeth... It doesn't have to be an advice... Maybe you would like to write your own experiences, or even experiences of other people...? [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funny Girl Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [COLOR=Lime]Well I'm younger than you but not to be rude or anything but I had two boyfriends. I dumped them both but now we're just friends. Well when you think of it having to have your 1st boyfriend may seem weird but as long as you keep looking and look deep in your heart then you'll find everything you need to know. There are these two kids at my school who just love each other. They always kiss and everything. They're not afraid of showing that they're together. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sangome Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [size=1]I'm younger than you and have no boyfriend, and I don't plan on having one for a long time to come. I'm happy being single, so, I'll stay that way for awhile. However, I hope you two are happy together, as with anyone else. :[i][/i]D[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalon Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 I'm a high school sophomore, and I've never even dated or anything (sad, huh?), but most of my friends are pairing off together. I will say this: Go with someone who really cares for you, and if you get to a point where it's not working out, end it before one of you gets truly hurt. Good situation: My friend Waffles is going with a guy a grade older than her. They can be sort of annoying because they suck face all the time, but otherwise they're cute together. Her mom isn't too happy about the relationship, but Waffles' boyfriend is a really sweet guy, and they've been dating for about a year. Bad situation: My friend Gus broke up with my friend Rebecca, and is being a complete jerk to her. He said she wasn't giving enough of herself to the relationship, and now he won't even say hello to her in school, and he said to another friend that she was stalking him. She isn't. The point? One is an arrogant jerk, and the other is a nice, caring person. If you go with the one who is nice and cares about you, things have a better chance of working out. I think. Maybe this is only because I do not date yet, but I cannot understand why girls tend to pick idiot guys who are jerks to them, when there are so many sweet ones out there. Would someone explain that to me? I have no personal experience, so I don't think my opinion counts on this very much. :animesigh I'll go back to making friendship bracelets for Christmas now, geeky little girl that I am. (Would it be weird to give my guy friends friendship bracelets along with my girl friends?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFactor Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 I'm a guy with alot of experience with relationships... which doesn't neccasairly mean anything good. But I'm not a jerk guy. I don't womanize and use women. I'm seventeen and my g/f is nineteen. Ninteen is a really hard age to start dating at because life is so unstable and ever changing and you're always so busy. Being the younger one in the relationship definately lifts alot of the responsibilty, plus, I'm a really passive kind of guy. So she drives us everywhere and all that kind of stuff. I mean I work and pay for things alot and what not. But I guess more traditionally she wears that pants. We just cellebrated being together a year a week ago today. She is a major part of my life and I love her alot. As far as kissing goes, we've progressed alot really quickly in the physical area of our relationship. She's a bit of a dominatrix and kinky stuff doesn't bother me so that worked out. But you probably don't want to be that advaned, or that advanced that quickly. As far as the hitting teeth thing goes thats a common first kiss type thing, along with biting lips and missing, and general slopiness. It just takes time to get over the nervousness. My sugggestion is slow down the kissing, and kiss gently, alot of tounge play is fun and good, not to get to graphic. :animeswea Just remember to respect YOURSELF and do NOT let him push anywhere you're not ready to go. There is no reason to be in a hurry. you have alot of life ahead. There is no reason to jade yourself. I'm sure you're a lovely person and you deserve respect from your companion. good luck and I hope your relationship goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 6, 2006 Author Share Posted October 6, 2006 [COLOR=Blue][SIZE=3]Wow![/SIZE] I'm just so touched about how nice everyone is being to me! :animesmil Thank you for all of your advice! He really does care about me, and I really care about him too... But there is one little problem... We have one class at uni together, and he doesn't want to tell anyone from that class that we're together... He said that it would become awkward in class... I understand that, so I said that I would keep my mouth shut. But yesterday, one of the girls from that class asked me if I was seeing anyone... I said no, but that was the hardest thing I have ever done... There's only one more month to go for the class to end... So, I'll be patient and keep my mouth shut. But my friends who do know are saying that we shouldn't deny it... Well, it is just for a month that we're going to keep it a secret...[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFactor Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 I think he shouldn't be afraid for people to know about your relationship. that is kind of strange. But it isnt my place to say or judge a strangers motives. if you say he's a good guy then I believe you. A month isn't very long to keep it a secret but if one of you is straight out asked you shouldn't have to lie that seems silly. I actually can think of decent reasons why he would do something like that in that setting though. I think he'll lighten up as time goes on, because just being in the same class for a month, people are gonna start to catch on. Guys have a hard time controlling the things they say or the looks they give... He'll break before you do and spill the beans ;) The most improtant thing is to communicate your feelings to eachother. Sometimes it becomes a problem because men want gratification in private, because that is their domain, that is where they feel cool and validated. In public they don't feel the need to "claim" you not because they don't love you, but because they figure the can "take any punk" that comes up on "their girl". its not bad its just a classic male gender role machismo thing. Usually girls want public gratification because that is how they show that they are "together and in love with" someone and they are less likely to just get in a straight out fist fight. (this is all generalization) sometimes the dissagreement about when and where to s how physical affection can be a real problem. but as long as you talk things out and learn to compromise with eachother it wont matter... especially as long as you really care about eachother. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunfallE Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [COLOR=RoyalBlue][QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue][SIZE=3]Wow![/SIZE]He really does care about me, and I really care about him too... But there is one little problem... We have one class at uni together, and he doesn't want to tell anyone from that class that we're together... He said that it would become awkward in class... I understand that, so I said that I would keep my mouth shut.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]I don?t know about you, but if my boyfriend was to tell me that he didn?t want others to know we were seeing each other then that would have me wondering just what in the world was going on. I can?t think of any reason to keep something like that a secret, unless he?s got an ex-girlfriend or a current one that he?s cheating on. I?m not trying to be mean, but that?s the first thing that comes to mind when you said he doesn?t want them to know about you. Also?[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]But yesterday, one of the girls from that class asked me if I was seeing anyone... I said no, but that was the hardest thing I have ever done... There's only one more month to go for the class to end... So, I'll be patient and keep my mouth shut. But my friends who do know are saying that we shouldn't deny it... Well, it is just for a month that we're going to keep it a secret...[/COLOR][/QUOTE] Doesn?t it bother you that he?s okay with asking you to essentially lie to others about it? Unless he?s got a better reason than it would be awkward I see no reason to keep something like that a secret. Especially since as you put it the class will be ending in a month anyway. Hardly seems like enough time for it being awkward to become an issue. Well best of luck to you just the same. Hopefully it will be just fine, though if it were me, that would seriously annoy me. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFactor Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 If you do plan to confront him in the future on that issue don't start slinging accuasations, perhaps he has a very decent reason for not wanting to make things awkward like connections with friends that would be severed because they advised him against your being together. or perhaps there is an ex in that class that would be a extremly jelous or catty and say very mean and untrue things to you about him if she knew you were together. I love my g/f alot but sometimes she can be clingy or what not to the worst degree. I love her to pieces but she can be almost like an atatchment on my arm. Maybe he wants to be his own person. Or not answer a bunch of questions about the why and how of your getting together. Either way, its best to talk things out reasonably, arguments and shouting matches arenoway to get things done 9though sometimes a neccessairy expression) Let me know if he is being a jerk though and I'll come thrash him XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 6, 2006 Author Share Posted October 6, 2006 [quote name='DarkFactor']perhaps there is an ex in that class that would be a extremly jelous or catty and say very mean and untrue things to you about him if she knew you were together.[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]He does have an ex... But that was when he was 17... (so that would be in 2001?) He told me that it only lasted about 3 weeks... He's very honest about things. He told me that one girl, who has a bf, came onto him. He said that it made him very uncomfortable and told her to stop... And this happened before our relationship...[/COLOR] [quote name='DarkFactor']Maybe he wants to be his own person. Or not answer a bunch of questions about the why and how of your getting together.[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]I think that this is his reason too... We're both quite shy. :animeswea So we usually talk about these things on MSN... It's easier for me, because I'm not that used to saying my feelings.[/COLOR] [quote name='SunfallE']Well best of luck to you just the same. Hopefully it will be just fine, though if it were me, that would seriously annoy me. [/quote] [COLOR=Blue]Just like SunfallE, it does annoy me. But I trust him. And it is only one month of class, which is only 3 hours a week... [/COLOR] [quote name='DarkFactor']Let me know if he is being a jerk though and I'll come thrash him XD[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]Thanks! Although I would probably thrash him before you get a chance to... :p [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adahn Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [size=2]If you aren't sure why he wants to keep your relationship a secret (possibly because he's shy), then is there any reason not to ask him? It is a strange request, and getting a straight answer from him will allow your heart and mind to rest on the matter. Suspicion can eat away at anyone, especially early in a relationship when trust is just developing.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]As for kissing, just try to be gentle. I've never knocked teeth with my girlfriend (I don't think). Just let the lips touch and go forward from there. Remember, you're not bobbing for apples or anything.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyandi Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Lucky. :o I've had lots of boyfriends, but they usually just use me because they think I'm pretty and just want to show me off to their friends. >_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Flasher Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [COLOR=Sienna]I've personally gone out of my way to avoid relationships; partly because I'm not comfortable around women, and partly because I've got not interest in that kind of thing. It's also got to do with the fact that people I once considered good friends start to suck tremendously once they got a girlfriend. Examples: One of my friends, Chris, is the kind of guy who does nothing but some how gets all the girls, despite his total lack of worthwhile qualities. Despite that, he was a pretty fun guy to hang around with, etc etc... Then he starts going out with women and I hardly ever see him anymore. He's been deballed, and lack-of-pussywhipped. No way I'm letting that happen to me. Better example: Another of my friends, Ian, was an awesome guy. He's funny, smart, fun to be around, etc etc. Great guy. Then he gets a girlfriend, and, well, it was alright for a week or two. They really did like each other, and it did help that she actually had a personality... But, after a while, he started getting all emo on us. It wasn't that she broke up with him or anything, it's just that, for some reason, their relationship was making him all depressed and quiet... And he's Brazillian, so that's definatly not normal. It wasn't until he did the most hilariously ballsless thing and broke up with her over MSN that he returned to his normal self. So I've never had a girlfriend, but I don't especially want one, so I can't really offer any advice other then what you've been given. To paraphrase RvB, just because I like milk doesn't mean I go buy a cow, y'know?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 7, 2006 Author Share Posted October 7, 2006 [quote name='Adahn']If you aren't sure why he wants to keep your relationship a secret (possibly because he's shy), then is there any reason not to ask him?[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]I have asked him, and it's always the same answer. He thinks that it would be awkward in class. But he doesn't mind when I tell someone... I guess he trusts my jugdement...?[/COLOR] [quote name='Adahn']Remember, you're not bobbing for apples or anything.[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]It's not like that, any more... These days, he just wants to give me a hickey, because I don't want one. :animeswea [/COLOR] [quote name='kyandi']Lucky. I've had lots of boyfriends, but they usually just use me because they think I'm pretty and just want to show me off to their friends. >_<[/quote] [COLOR=Blue]I think that it's good that you realise that they are doing this... My best friend from high school used to be treated bad by her boy friends, and I used to tell her that. But she wouldn't listen, and would find out for herself when it was too late... She used to come up to me and say "why didn't anyone warn me?" :( HedonismBot, even if you've never been in a relationship, you just telling me about other people's experiences is good advice for me. Thank you. :catgirl: [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyandi Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 A piece of advice that I think you really need is to be totally honest w/ yourself while in the relationship. For example, don't be totally blind like your friend was to how bad her b/f's treated her. I had a friend just like that and she'd never listen to me when I told her that he was using her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodbye, Face Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 [font=arial][size=1]My friend had a relationship where her boyfriend did not want anyone to know about their relationship. She could not see his parents or any of his friends, etc. To put it frankly, she wasn't incredibly pleasing to the eye and he liked her somewhat but he didn't want to be embarrassed by her. Maybe it's something similar here, because you're inexpereinced, he might feel that way. You know, [i]maybe[/i]. And yeah, I've never knocked teeth with a girl, lol. Don't press so hard.[/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 [COLOR=Blue]He only doesn't want people in the class to know about us... He's met my mother a few times, and I've met a few of his friends and his parents. So I don't think I embarrass him (I hope)... We are painfully inexperienced (especially for our teeth :animeswea ). But we're getting there. We did promise eachother that we would be honest, but somehow I can't shake this feeling that he's hiding something... Maybe I'm just over-reacting from this secrecy thing...?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alannie Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 [COLOR=Blue][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I've had only one boyfriend and I'm 13. I broke up with him over the summer. It felt weird to me. I held is hand and hang out and put my head on his shoulders. THat's all I did really. I don't know if I can help u. Sorry.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 [size=1][color=dimgray]Relationship advice, something I'm good at giving but bad at following. Anyways I don't get too lucky when it comes to relationships, though I have had my fair share of flings.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray]As far as kissing goes, my advice is use your lips, even if there is more than lip to lip contact going on. Lips are one of the most sensitive body parts you have, so why not indulge them. Like Rifles said, try not to press to hard and take it slower till your comfortable kissing. It's almost like a dance, you take it slow till your familiar with the steps then you can speed things up.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray]About him not wanting to tell people, I am pretty distrusting of guys, being one myself I know how most think. That to me seems like he is trying to keep it on the down low because he might have intrest in another female in the class, and doesn't want to botch things. Although that's just me being a skeptic, he probably is an extremely nice guy. Just try talking to him about it though, don't pry too much, but don't shy away from it. It sounds like you are shy, but that is something that doesn't really work in a relationship, their has to be communication, if something bothers you, you need to let him know, and vice versa, relationships in my opinion are just a giant work in progress, and it takes effort in all aspects.[/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size] [size=1][color=dimgray]Anyways I hope any of that helped, and I'm sorry if it offends in anyway, stuff like this is a touchier subject.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 [COLOR=Blue]My bf (maybe we should give him a name? It's a bit confusing just referring to him as "him"... So how about calling him Storms...?) can be a little dense about things... For example, we were sitting on his bed, kissing, and I lean back a little, so that... well... it is a bed... :animeswea But then he asks me if I'm alright. Maybe he thought that I was falling asleep or something...? :animesigh I didn't know that lips are one of the most sensitive parts of the body... Well, you learn something new everyday. I am really shy. :animeshy: I'm actually amazed that I'm writing about these things here. Storms is quite shy too... I don't think that there is someone else he likes in class. Because those who know about us says that it's really obvious that we're dating... My friends, like you guys, think that there is something wrong with Storms for wanting to keep the relationship a secret... But I do want to trust him... But the other night, when we were chatting on MSN, it was getting late, so I said that I was going to bed. Then he said that he was going to stay up a little more to think about something. When I asked him what he wanted to think about, he didn't want to tell me about it. He just told me to go to bed... :animedepr I don't know... Maybe Veritas's skepticism is rubbing off on me?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenso Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 [size=1]I don't generally like to be a bubble-burster, but you may want to take a closer look at the secrecy thing. If there's one thing I've learned in my multitude of relationships, it's that if you've got a feeling something is off, there's a fairly decent chance it is. I'm not saying it's a 'doing something behind your back he shouldn't be' thing so much as a 'keeping things from you that he should be discussing with you' kind of thing. It may be that something is really off, or it may be that he's exceedingly uncomfortable discussing some things, but being uncomfortable with something does not count as a reason to not discuss it in a relationship. As for the kissing thing, I think that's pretty well covered already. I can honestly say I've never once had that problem without outside interference (never try to kiss when smart-*** friends are around to whack you upside the back of the head), so I can't help much there. I really would try to get him to talk to you about why he thinks it would be so ackward and all the other things that are bothering you. It's the little things that bother you that can so quickly destroy a relationship, and you've got to talk to make it work. [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberinkula Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Personally the daily days of dating a man for me is funny and at the same time horrible. I'm a guy Around 13 and going out with the very sexy madwitch5. He is a member and we've already hit 3rd base. but after we started going out I told my friend brittany. She told my friend James. He told Nick and Nick told Vanessa and she told everyone else. Phew!! This is like chain. But I'd respect his wishes. Besides a relationship with a man was different for me than going out with a girl. Here are a couple of helpfull hints. Well maybe not helpful but effective. 1) Don't act like the most happiest person in the world ALL the time. Act like the normal you until people find out. 2) Make sure you two decide how the relationship will go. Like your chosen path. Talk to him and see what he's like. 3) Only tell the people you trust most at first. then when your more comfortable do as you wish. Don't know if that'll help but it worked for me, hopefully I helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted October 11, 2006 Author Share Posted October 11, 2006 [COLOR=Blue]Thank you for all of your advices. I am keeping my relationship with Storms a secret from the members of the class, just like he wants. Only my closest friends, his friends and our parents know... Well, a few people from our class did find out. :animeswea Three of them saw us holding hands (which we don't do anymore at uni...). And the other asked one of my friends who knows. She said that she couldn't deny it, because the guy wouldn't have believed her, and my friends don't really approve of this secrecy business... Storms didn't mind this guy finding out, because what's done is done... As for the three who saw us holding hands, they haven't said anything to anyone, including me... They only told one of my closest friends, who told me... Now I know, so I told Storms... (Wow... Split Keyblader, you're right... It is like a chain...) :animestun Oh! And another guy knows that I have a bf, but he doesn't know who it is... One of my friends blurted it out... :animeangr I'm trying to act natural, but those who know, are saying that it's really obvious that Storms and I are together... To be honest, I'm not really sure where I want to take this relationship. And I don't think Storms knows too... Well, it hasn't even been a month since we started dating, so I guess this lack of direction is to be expected... I think I'll just take it one day at a time for now... :catgirl: [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumi-chanmi Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 sometimes guys don't really know what they want and its a bit hard to figure them out most of my friends are guys and they don't understand, but taking it slow is much better than rushing into things. most people learn that the hard way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funny Girl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 [COLOR=Magenta]You could take it slow and see how things go from there. I have a lot of guy friends and they are easy to figure out. But there are some times where they are on the dumb side and can't save their life for any reason.[spoiler] Well that's what my guy friends are like anyways. Not all of them are like that.[/spoiler] So yeah. That it slow and see how everything goes from there and you never know what might happen next. Good Luck![/COLOR] :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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