First boyfriend...

[Zetsu]

I am 16, and I have one boyfriend and it turned into a nasty relationship. My only advice is stay away from people you suspect to do drugs (I hope that sentance made sense).

My boyfriend got in with some pretty nasty druggies at my school and ended up getting expelled and charged for attempting to sell drugs to one of the security officers at my school. When I found out I laughed about it...he came to me for help and I could give him money because, like most teens, I was totally broke at the time. So he dumped me and has been harassing me for about 7 months now.

Anyway, stay away from weird druggie people. :nono:

[Goodbye, Face]

[quote name='Zetsu']Anyway, stay away from weird druggie people. :nono:[/quote]
[font=arial][size=1]My second girlfriend, whom I've mentioned in the Lounge recently, was an insanely innocent girl when I met her, really nice and stuff. That was the first time we went out. The second time, someone pressured her into smoking cigarrettes and got her addicted and she didn't want to tell me because she was afraid I'd dump her. So I found out about everything after I saw her taking a smoke break at her place of work. She was also doing shrooms at that time, and a week later she got her hands on some acid (I found out about this one muuuuch later) and then I caught her finally in front of a bong at her house. Fun.

So really, there's no one exempt from that rule, haha. There [i]is[/i] a moral.[/font][/size]

[Chiyo Chan Fan]

My first boyfriend: I was in 7th grade. His name was Jeremy. We went out for a little over a year. We took a break because of his family situation and such. After that, those problems got worse and I said, "I don't want to bring you down so we should jsut be friends and see each other when we can."

It was great. I felt empowered. It was a little nerve-racking because I was like, should I be doing this or should just wait for him to do something. I got use to it after a while.

You just have to relax. Don't act "dressed up" or preppy. Be yourself. If you two really love each other, make sure you're both ready to go even further.

[Roxie Faye]

[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]I'm 19 years old (going to be 20 in November)...
And I finally have a boyfriend for the first time in my life... (He's 22)
It's a weird feeling... I don't really know how to explain it...

Any way, I'm quite lost, because it's a whole new experience...
So does anyone have any advice?
For example, when we kiss, we hit our teeth...

It doesn't have to be an advice...
Maybe you would like to write your own experiences,
or even experiences of other people...?
[/COLOR][/QUOTE][color=#9933ff]You know, I completely know how you feel when you say that the whole thing is a weird feeling. The first (and only) time I went out with someone, it was like that the whole time I dated him (which was for about a month).

I used to have this weird feeling when I thought about it. And I used to get upset. I cried on the phone with my friend and asked her for advice. I just used to get this really nervous jumbly feeling and I didn't know if it was just me or what.

It was really stressful on me, and after about a month, and time away from him (a week), I realized I didn't want the relationship. I don't think I liked him very much, and I realized this, so I broke it off.

I think I was in love with the idea of having a boyfriend, and this was my first time having one, and so I went along with it, when I really shouldn't have, because I didn't like him as much as I thought I did. I have a feeling I convinced myself that I liked him a lot more than I actually did.


So, the most important thing is to ask yourself whether you want it or not. It seems to me that you really like him, but this is your first b/f - don't be like me and go out for the sake of it. I just want you to ask yourself: "Do I really like him?" before moving forward with it, because that was my experience.


Though, even if you look at yourself and realize you DO like him, my friend says it's still normal to feel weird about the whole thing.


It seems that the general gist of what everyone's saying about the secrecy thing is that the important thing about a relationship is to keep the channel of conversation open.

I think what MoyakuKeramushe had to say was extremely important, so I'm going to quote it again: [/color][Quote]I don't generally like to be a bubble-burster, but you may want to take a closer look at the secrecy thing. If there's one thing I've learned in my multitude of relationships, it's that if you've got a feeling something is off, there's a fairly decent chance it is. [b]I'm not saying it's a 'doing something behind your back he shouldn't be' thing so much as a 'keeping things from you that he should be discussing with you' kind of thing.[/b] It may be that something is really off, or it may be that he's exceedingly uncomfortable discussing some things, but being uncomfortable with something does not count as a reason to not discuss it in a relationship.[/quote][color=#9933ff]Try and talk to him about it. Let him know you want to hear what's bothering him. Tell him it's not fair to keep it a secret.

Are you afraid to ask about the secrecy thing because you think he'll get mad at you? If he gets mad about it, then how good of a person is that? There's no excuse for him not to talk to you about it. Really, there isn't, so ask.

One last thing: about being paranoid - I always feel that way. I don't think it's bad. It's just realism and perspective kicking in. But you do have to realize the difference between instinct and gut feeling that something's wrong, with complete psycho-paranoia with no basis to it. For example, thinking that something's wrong because of the secrecy thing isn't bad. You've got a good reason to think something's up. Now, if you came up with something like "I think he's a druggie" might be crazy-paranoia, because there's no evidence whatsoever for it. But you've got a good head on your shoulders, so I would say go with your gut feeling.

(That means ask him "why all the secrecy?")


Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you! *hugs*[/color]

[Raina]

[COLOR=Blue]Sorry, I wasn't on OtakuBoards for about a week (damn university! :lecture: )... I finally got some time, so I came on, and so many new replies! :eek:

Well, as far as I know, I don't think that we're rushing this relationship. It's mainly, dates, study together at the library, I went to his house once, he came over to my house a couple of times (since he drives and I can't :animeswea ), and kissing/making out... It's not too fast for me, and I do feel comfortable with the way things are...

I'm quite sure that he's not into any drugs. He doesn't smoke, drink alcohol, or gamble. Well, neither do I...

The secrecy will be over soon. Just one more lesson and an exam. Although I think that most of the class knows. :sweat: I think that my bf is just really shy. He doesn't get mad if someone from class finds out. I just have to be patient for just 2 more weeks. :catgirl:

But there is something else... His supervisor (or someone like that, I can't remember :animeswea ) at work, apparently mede some hints that my bf should date his niece, because they were the same age. The supervisor said that his niece was 18. So my bf said that she was too young for him, because he's 22. So the supervisor said ok. And that was the end of that conversation...
When my bf told me this, I asked him "Why didn't you say that you were seeing someone?", he said that it wasn't necessary. :animeangr It wasn't, but I would have felt better about the whole thing if my bf would have just admitted to seeing someone. I mean, the supervisor isn't in our class, so why the secrecy!?

I really do like him. But if something happens, and I want to break it off (I hope I won't :animeswea ), but if I do, the OtakuBoards would be the first to know. You can count on it![/COLOR]

[Aberinkula]

Great. You've gotten pretty good so far in the relationship. I wish my boyfriend would stop trying to kiss me in class. :animeswea

anyways you asked wht 3rd base is. Well here's just a lowsown,

1st base: Hugging and kissing, hlding hands. The basic stuff.
2nd base: Making out and so forth with that.
3rd base: Touching in and outside of the cloths. Intimate areas.
Homebase: That probably is an easy guess. This is when you go all the way.

I'v almost gotten the homerun if you catch my drift.

Love is a great thing. FI you can keep your hormoans controlled. Believe me I'm an easy guy to well you know "a-r-o-u-s-e-d.". So that's my problem.

[only1specialed]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=4][FONT=Impact]Aaahh the first. I remember my first girlfriend. It was actually about 5 months ago now :animeswea . Met her on her birthday we got drunk went back to my place and stuff happened :animesigh . We went out for about a month and then she broke up with me cause I didn?t call her for two weeks. Hehehe :animeswea . Id fill you in on the whole story but its too frigging long :animesigh . Now my current girlfriend (and no I wasn?t cheating on my old girlfriend with this chick) is someone who I have been in loved with since high school :animeblus . I haven?t seen her in like 3 months :animesigh (mainly cause I'm in iraq and she moved to the east coast) but since were used to being separated from each other (I was in japan for a year and when I came back to the states I lived about 2 hours away from her so I didn?t come home very often. Gas prices are crazy in Cali :animestun .) we still love each other. Now as far as advice goes from a guy?s point of view is? go all the way :animenose . Hehe just kidding. Sorry I aint got advice cause this is only my second girlfriend. And I'm still learning the ropes myself.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention this but my ex-girlfriend wanted to keep our relationship a secret from everyone she knew but there was a really good reason for it. Again long story so im not gonna bother telling it. As for my current Girlfriend i really dont want my friends to know im dating her. Why i don't know. I just dont really like people getting into my personal life BUT i told one of my friends were together.....and shes the biggest gossiper in the entire freaking world.....and I totally forgot about that. :animesigh [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Panda]

I agree with those who got that funny feeling when you mentioned the "don't tell" comment. Why can't you tell those only in your class? As if these people don't exist outside this class? If other people not in the class know...and you are telling others outside of class....word will get around. What if that person who asked you if you were seeing someone finds out from a friend outside of class that you are seeing someone? It comes across like you outright lied to her.

I personally would feel like he doesn't want that class to know because: a) He's seeing someone else and doesn't want to get caught playing the field. b) Ashamed of dating me. c) There is something he isn't telling me that it why this "secret" needs to be kept.

I guess it just seems weird to keep it a secret. It's not like you are in the work place where there are rules against dating in the office. Heck when I was in college there were many people who purposely took the same class just to be together because they were dating or married.

Don't let the concern shown here be a poo-pooing of your relationship. It really is concern. Nothing is worse than having the rose-colored glasses of first love cloud your sight from what is really going on around you. Been there and done that. Learn from other peoples mistakes.

As for advice: The best thing is honesty. Being true to yourself will allow you to be true to your partner.

[Raina]

[QUOTE=Split Keyblader]
1st base: Hugging and kissing, hlding hands. The basic stuff.
2nd base: Making out and so forth with that.
3rd base: Touching in and outside of the cloths. Intimate areas.
Homebase: That probably is an easy guess. This is when you go all the way.
[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Blue]Eh? I thought that 2nd base was "Touching in and outside of clothes. Intimate areas." 3rd base was "Going all the way" and that Homebase was "Marriage" or "Getting pregnant"... Well, that's what my friends here at uni told me... :animeswea

Panda, I also feel that it's not right to keep my relationship a secret from my class mates. Not only because it could come back and bite me in the a**. :flasher2: But it is lying... :animesigh

I don't think he's seeing someone else, since he's super shy.
I don't think he's ashamed of me... Well, I hope not...
And I don't think that he's keeping anything a secret from me because he's a really bad lier.

Well, there's only today, and the whole of next week...[/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[size=1][B]First base:[/B] The first step in a sexual relationship involving making out or French kissing.
[B]Second base:[/B] One step up of First Base, heavy petting and feeling up while making out, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.
[b]Third base:[/b] The third degree of the everlasting sexual bases metaphor. The best way to remember them is of course, the four "F"s. French, Feel, Finger, ****.

That's directly from urbandictionary.com, and I'd recommend checking it out anytime you want to know the definition of a slang word. It saves you a great deal of embarrassment.[/size]

[Raina]

[COLOR=Blue]\(^o^)/
Class finished yesterday! So no more secrecy! Yay!
It's been rough, the secrecy... But it's over now. I won't have to lie. Or sneak around at campus. This is great! :animecry: <--- tears of joy.
It's nearly 2 months since we started dating. And my 20th birthday is coming up. So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"? I know that a lot of you have suggested that I shouldn't do anything that I'm not comfortable with. But I would still like to hear your opinions. (Please keep in mind that he is my first boyfriend, and my first kiss. So I've never done "it" before... :animeswea )[/COLOR]

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='Raina][COLOR=Blue'] So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"?[/COLOR][/quote]

[color=crimson]Do you want to?

If you've considered it a satisfactory amount and feel comfortably about taking it to that next step then go for it.

If not than just wait until you feel it's an appropriate time.[/color]

[Box]

Well, just remember to be completely honest, but also be a little cautious with things like metaphors. Most guys in relationships just take everything literally(from watching most of my friends' relationships, as I've never dated myself - I'm 17 and I've seen how much drama there is in high school relationships, so I'm staying out of it). Best of luck!

[UchihaFanGirl]

Heh, I'm probably really late to reply to this post and I am going to sound kind of like a slut right now, but I'm 13, and I've had 4 boyfriends. v.v...I am actually still on my fourth one. XD But that's besides the point. This has not happened to me, and I hope it never does, but if you find out from him or someone that he is just trying to get in your pants or something, obviously,you should dump him ASAP. Thats just a word of advice...My ex, after dumping me, said he only dated me to see if I could keep a secret and because he felt sorry for me. I asked him why and he said because no one wanted to date me. Whose laughing now? He was my 3rd bf and I was his 1st. XD Good luck and I hope you guys continue loving each other. ^^

[BlackTigerGurl]

[quote name='Raina][COLOR=Blue]It's nearly [B]2 months[/B'] since we started dating. And my 20th birthday is coming up. So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"? I [/COLOR][/quote]
[FONT=Arial][COLOR=DarkRed][CENTER]I personally think you should wait awhile. As you said, it's been 2 months since you guys started dating and going all the way is a bit fast, in my own opinion. After all, he is your first boyfriend, your first kiss, ect. Do you want him to be your first time too in just 2 months?

I'm a sophmore in hight school and only had 2 boyfriends. My first one just wanted to get in my pants and had some serious issues. We dated for 6 months. To this day, he still calls me a b****. :animedepr My second was a real sweety but his mother hated me because of the color of my skin, so we broke up but are semi- friends now. We dated for 5 months. Not once did I ever thought about going all the way with either of them. To me, I just thought it to soon. I rather take things slow and see if they are really into me. If not, move on to the next. :animesmil

But at the moment, I'm still single and like it that way. But I'm keeping my options open. But seriously, you should take it slow and not worry about age. Going all the way is really a serious matter, and shouldn't be taken wisely.[/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

[Veritas]

[size=1][color=dimgray]I definately take it slow, and not go all the way. I have no problem with pre-maritial sex, but you have to be ready because it's a big plunge in a relationship, especially if it's your first time. [/color][/size]
[size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size]
[size=1][color=dimgray]Part of the reason why I say you shouldn't go all the way, is *backtracking* the secrecy (even if it's over), it just makes me think that that you two aren't in a stable enough position yet, that or your relationship just isn't as strong as it should be to risk something like that, because it might just cause things to go down hill.[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=dimgray][/color][/size]
[size=1][color=dimgray]My suggestion just keep it to fore play on your birthday. Sexually get to know each other better, that way you'll know what each other likes, that way, when or if you decide to go all the way, you can make it more enjoyable for each other.[/color][/size]

[Raina]

[COLOR=Blue]Everyone is so wise! And such great advices! I hope that there are people out there with similar (?) things going on in their lives, and that these advices would help them as much as they have helped me.

Everyone's right. I'm not ready for 'it'.

But today, he said that he loved me! For the first time! >.<[/COLOR][quote name='UchihaFanGirl']if you find out from him or someone that he is just trying to get in your pants or something, obviously,you should dump him ASAP.[/quote]
[COLOR=Blue]Yeah, you're right. Well, my bf stops doing whatever he is, if I don't like it. And he doesn't ask why. So it's all good in that department.[/COLOR][quote name='UchihaFanGirl']My ex, after dumping me, said he only dated me to see if I could keep a secret and because he felt sorry for me. I asked him why and he said because no one wanted to date me. Whose laughing now? He was my 3rd bf and I was his 1st. XD [/quote]
[COLOR=Blue]Eh? Really? You're a person who willingly talks about past relationships to a stranger on the net. You were too good for him! He never deserved you! [/COLOR]
[quote name='BlackTigerGurl']My second was a real sweety but his mother hated me because of the color of my skin, so we broke up but are semi- friends now. [/quote]
[COLOR=Blue]Are you serious!? I can't believe that something like that could happen. Just like UchihaFanGirl, you're a really nice person. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope that you would find someone who treats you right, and has a kind and loving family.[/COLOR]
[quote name='Veritas']*backtracking* the secrecy (even if it's over), it just makes me think that that you two aren't in a stable enough position yet, that or your relationship just isn't as strong as it should be to risk something like that, because it might just cause things to go down hill.[/quote]
[COLOR=Blue]We did have some problems in the past week. I questioned his motives for dating me. And he thought that I was lying to him (I wasn't)... But we've gotten over it, and it's made us stronger...

The secrecy still does worry me though...
Well, we'll see what tomorrow would bring. :catgirl: [/COLOR]

[nezzyjean]

[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue] when we kiss, we hit our teeth...
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

there's always going to be akward things like that at first, but eventually you should get used to kissing eachother, and you will feel like when you kiss, you are perfectly in sinc.

Just a head's up for you though, if you're the one who ends up getting dumped, it hurts like hell freezing over. So, if you're the one who ends up doing the dumping, do it very carefully and kindly.

Other than that, enjoy your moments together and just laugh it off when akward stuff happens, trust me, you'll both look back on it months from now when you've surpassed that stuff and it will be freaking hillarious.

[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]
It's nearly 2 months since we started dating. And my 20th birthday is coming up. So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"? [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

My advice would be to wait longer. Losing your virginity is a huge milestone in your life, but sex tends to incredibly complicate relationships. I myself am still a virgin, but i was with my last boyfriend for 6 months and was seriously considering giving my virginity to him...lets just say that i'm glad i held out for a few months longer because i found out that he was a total jerk. Also, every single one of my non-virgin friends say that sex isnt even that enjoyable, so its basically only going to get you severely emotionally attatched and him wanting to do "the deed" alot. (atleast in most cases, i'm not trying to stereotype your relationship because i do not know you.) I'd say wait for a couple more months and then see how you feel about things.

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][quote name='Raina][COLOR=Blue']It's nearly 2 months since we started dating. And my 20th birthday is coming up. So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"? [/COLOR][/quote]I would say it depends on whether or not you want to do it or if it?s something you are thinking of doing to make him happy. If it?s something both of you are considering and you feel comfortable, then by all means go ahead. But I would certainly keep in mind that only dating for two months and it being your first relationship no less, well to me that seems fairly quick to be considering having sex. Especially since you also said here: [QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]Everyone's right. I'm not ready for 'it'.

But today, he said that he loved me! For the first time! >.< [/COLOR][/QUOTE]Don?t let the fact that he said he loves you sway you into doing something you aren?t really ready for. Getting too intimate, especially when you have already admitted that you are not ready for it is not a good idea. Later you?ll be wishing you either hadn?t had sex or found out that you enjoyed it. But if you aren?t comfortable with the idea, it?s not something that you have to do immediately.

I?ve had several relationships where we dated for nearly a year before anything more intimate ever happened. It just depends on the guy and how you both feel about each other. I don?t regret what I did with my previous boyfriends, but with it being your first one, I would be a little more reserved so you don?t end up regretting a hasty decision later. Who knows, next week or in another month or two you might find yourself feeling more comfortable about it. [quote name='nezzyjean']Also, every single one of my non-virgin friends say that sex isnt even that enjoyable, so its basically only going to get you severely emotionally attatched and him wanting to do "the deed" alot. [/quote]Also, don?t let what nezzyjean says scare you away from sex altogether. In all honesty it really comes down to experience and it may be a bit off at first especially if it?s your first time, but if you do reach the point where you are more intimate with each other, you begin to pick up on what works for each other in that respect and when that happens, it?s a very pleasant experience. ;)[/COLOR]

[Sara]

[quote name='Raina][COLOR=Blue']It's nearly 2 months since we started dating. And my 20th birthday is coming up. So, do you guys think that it would be okay, if we went "all the way"? [/COLOR][/quote][color=#b0000b][size=1]If you need to ask, the answer is [b]no[/b].[/size][/color]

[neomonkey]

[QUOTE=Raina][COLOR=Blue]I'm 19 years old (going to be 20 in November)...
And I finally have a boyfriend for the first time in my life... (He's 22)
It's a weird feeling... I don't really know how to explain it...

Any way, I'm quite lost, because it's a whole new experience...
So does anyone have any advice?
For example, when we kiss, we hit our teeth...

It doesn't have to be an advice...
Maybe you would like to write your own experiences,
or even experiences of other people...?
[/COLOR][/QUOTE] Relationships are a good thing to get into, but if your unsure, wait about getting into one. I currently have a girlfriend and just had to temporarily break-up with her for my lack of dating knowledge.

So, like I said, just wait before getting into one if your not ready. Also, make sure that you and our boyfriend are happy with each other.

[Solo Tremaine]

[color=#503f86]Well done for getting through the secrecy bit. I had an incredibly tough time when I was seeing someone at college a few years back. Basically, we fancied each other, but she said she wanted to keep it casual and didn't want anyone in the class to know. At the time I was pretty accepting of the situation (plus I was completely high on emotion), so didn't think anything of it. I never knew exactly why, though. She wasn't exactly a 'public display of affection' type, but neither was I.

The very next day, at college she completely blanked me. Wouldn't even look at me. Even despite the fact that before we said we wanted to see each other we'd been talking nineteen to the dozen, she completely ignored me. By this time I'd gotten completely carried away with my own emotions and didn't know how to handle it. I found it incredibly stressful and was never sure whether she was actually still interested in me or not, especially as I couldn't stop the other guys trying things on with her because it would have aroused suspision.

Anyways, this went on for about four weeks, and I ended up liking her a lot more than she liked me, and I was completely crushed. Hated it. I haven't had a relationship since, heh ^_^;

But I'm glad to hear you're doing okay. I guess sometimes people may be insecure about how certain things may be taken by friends; I know judging by the way some of my friends have reacted to other people's relationships, it can completely change the dynamics of a group. It's possible he just wanted to sort something else out with his life before outwardly showing the relationship to anyone else. Or he may have been nervous about whether it was going to work or not- it can be pretty awkward having all your friends sheering you on in a relationship only to have things fall apart a week later for whatever reason. But eh, it's just speculation. I hope you enjoy your time together, and that the good times last for you both ^_^[/color]

[Raina]

[quote name='Solo Tremaine][color=#503f86']But I'm glad to hear you're doing okay. I guess sometimes people may be insecure about how certain things may be taken by friends; I know judging by the way some of my friends have reacted to other people's relationships, it can completely change the dynamics of a group.[/color][/quote]
[COLOR=Blue]So much has changed since we started dating... Especially with friends.

My friends don't want to hang around with me if my bf's there. They say that they want to give us privacy... But I just feel bad about it.

My best friend's always angry with me for some reason. Well, he and I never had a relationship, and we were quite similar in other areas of our lives too. And my bf and I think that my best friend had a crush on me... So when I started dating, I guess my best friend felt left behind... or something...

My bf's friend got really upset, when my bf wanted to take me to her birthday party. I think she has a crush on my bf... But she has a bf too...

Everything is so complicated and hard now... But I really don't understand why dating someone could change friendships with other people...[/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][quote name='Raina][COLOR=Blue']Everything is so complicated and hard now... But I really don't understand why dating someone could change friendships with other people...[/COLOR][/quote]
People are weird. If they don't like your bf/gf, they sometimes just avoid talking about it, or being around him. Worse, if they liked you [i]or[/i] your bf/gf, then they can get major jealousy things going on, which can affect them even if they don't realise it and they think they're acting normal. It's all complicated, all annoying, and all part of being in a relationship. Enjoy it while it lasts, lol. [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Solo Tremaine]

[quote name='Raina][color=blue']My best friend's always angry with me for some reason. Well, he and I never had a relationship, and we were quite similar in other areas of our lives too. And my bf and I think that my best friend had a crush on me... So when I started dating, I guess my best friend felt left behind... or something...[/color][/quote][COLOR=#503F86]I used to do that when one of my friends got a girlfriend. I was jealous, but somehow it became [i]his[/i] fault that I was still single, and I guess at the same time I felt insecure because I thought it would threaten our friendship. Which is stupid, because if I hadn't reacted like that then there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. It's irrational, but more often than not I'd be able to swallow my grievances and tolerate being there, as awkward as it made me feel.

But yeah, Alan's right. I now elaborate for no real reason.

From a guy's point of view, even if you're best friends and have never had a relationship together, more often than not there's something in the back of your mind that says 'there's still the chance of a relationship here', even if you know it's not what you want. Because you still share a close bond and feel comfortable together in a similar way that you would in a working relationship. Once you attach a significant other to you, he may feel that even though you're still friends, he's lost the chance to share that closer connection to you, even if it wasn't what he was looking for, if that makes sense. It may be more a case of 'living in hope but not doing anything about it' than an actual crush.[/COLOR]