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What Screwed You Up


Ol' Fighter
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My story starts like this:

I was best friend's with a girl in my grade name Ali. When we were in fifth grade, she was diagnosed with cancer. In sixth grade, they killed the last of it but the next morning, the tumor had pieces spreading all down her spine. Finally in seventh grade on a Sunday, I visited her and she looked up and said her last words, "Mandy, I see a bright li-" and she died.

Now, I look at everyone like I'm never going to speak to them again.

I hope that would be considered, "screwing up my life" because I don't think I'll ever be the same way again...
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[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Hot damn do we really have time?

Let's see getting married and trusting the guy I got married to really screwed me up. Case in point I didn't know that for the nearly three years of our marriage he was seeing another woman on the side and that she knew about me. And now the divorce and custody battles are continuing to take a toll on me.

I'm not really allowed to talk about everything because who knows what will be used in court, but here's the thing he was emotionally abusive towards me for most of our marriage and continued to be that way in the months leading up to the divorce.

February '05 he threatened to divorce me while he was still in Iraq. March '05 he said he wanted to try and work things out so I drove half way across the country with our then five month old daughter at his request. April '05 he stayed up in New York with me and my parents for an entire month acting like everything was fine, we even went up to Ft. Drum to check out housing. May '05 two weeks after he got back to Texas he said he wanted a divorce but was still acting like everything was okay. September '05 a day after our divorce is finallized I find out he's already engaged. February '05 I get emails from his new wife claiming to be attatched to my daughter and wanting to be allowed to see her while her father is in Afghanistan (her father meaning my ex) May '06 I get summoned for a visitation hearing by my daughter's paternal grandmother who prior to this has never shown any interest in my daughter. July '06 both the day of my grandma's funeral and a few days before her graveside service I received two harassing emails from my ex's wife. And the fun ain't over yet because we still have to determine custody and visitation of our now two year old daughter.

Basically being a nice person and not believing one of my friends down in Texas screwed me up.... can I have a cookie and a carton of ice cream?[/color][/font]
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[color=crimson]The count so far:

*Five people hurtin' from romance gone awry. (RiflesAtRecess, Annie/Tex, ChibiHorseWoman, Fall, Alan/DeadSeraphim)

*Two people posting stupid rants about individualism, free choice and other crap that was a waste of time to read. (Lonely Fighter, Tweed)

*One person walked into a thread of possibly-quite-silly-but-not-quite-stupid people and stated his dislike of stupid people. (Mr. Maul)

*One person faces the daily threat of a naked overweight mother although most of us hope she was joking. (Sloth Girl)

*One person found God and, she doesn't know it yet, but that screwed up her life. (Hanabishi Recca)

*One person experienced a dramatic passing away of a friend. (Chiyo Chan Fan)

*I'm pretty sure I gave Lea a pony one time so screw counting her.

*Seven people ranting about family issues in a loud, "I'm hurt!!!" fashion. (Raina, Sho Ayori, visualkei, Heero yuy, kumi-chanmi, Zetsu, AnimeHeroX)

*Mimminx spent a paragraph poetically talking about.. uh.. something? I'm not sure what.

*One person made a choice and is taking responsibility for his choice. (Gavin)

*Fasteriskhead's post scared the **** out of me.

*One long, self-introspective essay that has no real point. (2006digitalboy).

*Three "I'm not really screwed up ^_^;;" posts. (HedonismBot, Indifference, The Nameless One/Adahn).

Little did any of us realize just how dramatically messed some of us are or how easy it could be to mock these posts with little effort no matter how honest some of you are being with this. Your honesty might be what makes it mockable. It's hard to tell.

So what screwed you up for life, eh? In your short span of time on this Earth surrounded by peers all suffering in their own right, what went down?

I'll humor you.[/color]
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[QUOTE=Lonley Fighter]Alright...I'm curious...what do you think, know, or found out about, or just about any other thing that you think messed up or just plain ol' **** up your life and if your in a good mood what helped your life become what it was.

Me myself, to be completly honest it was when I was about 9 or 10 and I learned if your doing something out of freedom of expression(in U.S.) noone can do anything about it so I've been hard at work finding out many diffrent ways to mess with the big pompious types and man is it funny...but I think I'll be arrested soon hahaha...but from learning about freedom of expression it became a big influence on why I'm so free-spirited.[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]So....you're taking advantage of the freedoms of this nation? That's just great...of course i'm being sarcastic. I really hate it when people take advantage of things and use it to cause harm to others.

For example: Our engineering class was allowed to guess as many times as we wanted to get our correct answer in our online engineering homework. Now because of a couple of people not even doing their work and just guessing a 100 times we all suffer from it. Now we lose points for incorrect answers. Even if it's just a tiny error such as sign error or having my calculator set on radians instead of degrees.

Anyways, to your question. Uh, i'm horribly lazy. I should even be doing homework right now. I really think i'd be in a totally different place right now if i wasn't so dang lazy all the time. Oh well, i'm not going to linger on it.


[/FONT][/COLOR]
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[size=1]
As cliche as it's going to sound, my worst problem was myself.

Financially and blah blah, everything's always been peachy enough to get by. My family arent dysfunctional to the point of abuse or anything. I'm not physically impaired in any way and socially and academically everything was always good.

There was a point 2 years ago after my GCSEs where I sort of burnt out and felt as though I was everybody's trophycase or something [i]because I did so well[/i] in my exams. I lost all my motivation and drive because I felt like everything I was doing was inevitably for everybody except myself lol. I just ended up blaming my burning out on anyone and everyone I could get away with blaming lol (read: family). I was almost like 2 different people at home and outside the house.

So yeah. Overperforming and my dumbass perspective of life at the time totally screwed me over, cos it had a whole domino effect over the past 2+ years lol.[/size]
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[COLOR=DarkOrange][SIZE=4][FONT=Impact]what ****** up my vida huh... well as a kid my parents wouldn't let me go outside the house. I couldn't go play with my neighbors in the street. I couldn't go to a party that my friend was having. I don't blame them though i did live in south central LA in a dangerous time. Now i just have a hard time making friends and going out to meet new people. It dont matter to me that much cause i got video games and anime to keep me busy and i go out with my best friend and hang out with some of his homies. :animesigh the Marines have change me slighty now i have a bit of an easier time making new friends but i still have a hard time sometimes.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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  • 3 weeks later...
I'm not trying to put this in a terrible way, but I it's my familie's fault that I am the way I am. My parents devorced when I was about 3, then my mom got married again when I was 10 to a control freak jerk I still don't like to this very day :animeangr (but she doesn't know that) Now we have new baby boy, Andrew, in the family, and they are so focused on him that I don't think they really care if I talk to them or not. They kinda give me the silent treatment, they never make an effort to find out what's going on in my life :animesigh It's so depressing. I'm the one that has to tell them. And pretty much every time I try and say something, they cut me off without even realizing it because Andrew did something. Then they completely forget what I was saying and move on to another subject. I'm pretty sure it's gotten worse since I joined marching band because I was constantly away at hours of practice, I didn't have time to talk to them, and really didn't care, because for once I was around people who talked to me and had tons of friends. So since band is over for the season, I get to be home more often :animesigh great. 7 more months until it starts back up again and my life will be saved :D So yeah, it's my familie's fault that i'm so shy at first, and never talk in any of my classes ect. sorry if that was kinda long.
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[size=1]This thread.

Ooh, burn!!

I'd like to think that despite certain situations in my life, that I've come out relatively normal. The truth is lots of people have issues to deal with in their lives, some people get more and some people get less. Basically though, you have two options. Succumb and spend your life feeling sorry for yourself, or accept it and try to deal.[/size]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Long term or short term? Well, in the short term I'd have to say drugs, and alcohol screwed me up pretty good, recently. As for a long term, the only thing that comes to mind are all the unhealthly relationships I've gotten caught up in. Teh hell with 'dating' scene. It really [i]isn't[/i] worth it, and I don't base this strictly on my own personal heartbreaks, but more from what I analyze from other people's issues. I'm a much happier and positive person- without worries or a care in the world, because I've drawn to the conclusion that it isn't worth it. I feel so passionate about my opinion that I stress it to everybody who's hurt, and hasn't come to the same conclusion of why. I'd write a book, if I had the patience, but I can hardly carry on a post here at OtakuBoards for too long :P.

" My friends think my life is so much better than it really is. Why? Because I make it better." [B]-Daniel Tosh[/B]

So your life sucks. Just shut the hell up, and make the best of it. You've got one shot at life.[/FONT]
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[size=1][color=slategray][URL=http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/204491]It'll plague your mind, too.[/URL]

*cough*

I'm sorry.

But in all seriousness.... I really don't blame my past or future on anything. Bad things happen, people will screw you over, you will get hurt, you will have an assload of personal problems.

Welcome to life.[/color][/size]
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[SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkRed]Hmmm.....well, just today I figured out I have to get up sometime around 9:30a.m. tomorrow to get ready to go eat Thanksgiving, when I really don't want to go. I just don't really like crowds and family reunions. Anyway's, that happens, and I just got out for Thanksgiving break. And I was planning on just spending a bunch of time playing video games, getting on the computer, and watching a bunch of anime and stuff. And that just messed up my big break. Not really a major thing I suppose, but yeah, it messed me up.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[quote name='Kurayami Oji][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkRed]Hmmm.....well, just today I figured out I have to get up sometime around 9:30a.m. tomorrow to get ready to go eat Thanksgiving, when I really don't want to go. I just don't really like crowds and family reunions. Anyway's, that happens, and I just got out for Thanksgiving break. And I was planning on just spending a bunch of time playing video games, getting on the computer, and watching a bunch of anime and stuff. And that just messed up my big break. Not really a major thing I suppose, but yeah, it messed me up.[/COLOR'][/SIZE][/quote]
[size=1]I think the OP was more concerned about long-term [i]serious[/i] personal issues. Not.... what you wrote.[/size]
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