Falling In Love

[The13thMan]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Love is something i've experience before in my lifetime outside of my immediate family. It's a rather tricky thing sometimes. In my life now i'm not sure how i feel about a certain someone. I don't want to make the same mistakes i've made in the past. I'm quite cautious this time around, but is it for the best?

I just wanted to know what everybody on Otaku thought of the matter. Are you in love, have you been, are you currently falling in love? Have you fallen out? Do you even think it should be possible to fall out of love? Is love absolute? Can you fall in love at first sight? I pretty much want to hear anything you all have to say about the manner.


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[Sandy]

I'm very much in love now, going steady for 1,5 years soon. In the beginning, everything was rosy and wonderful, which I'd call the "falling in love" phase. Then came the doubts: am I good enough for him? Is he good enough for me? Will he find somebody better and leave me? This is my first (and hopefully the only) time in love, and I saw those doubts and uncertainty as a part of this new experience.

As said, it has pretty much evened out now. It's no dancing on roses, nor is it a bumpy ride. Sure, we have our ups and downs just like every couple out there, but they're not big enough to cause friction. However, I think we have jammed into where we are now, because I'm dreaming about moving in together, and he's not ready to leave home yet.

But luckily, there's no rush. I think I'm just the type of person who wants to move fast towards better. I'm rehearsing my patience, because that's one of the main things you're required in love.

[Sho Ayori]

I'm not a very assertive person, in fact i'm rather stubborn when it comes to doing things that I don't want to do. Myself, I haven't fallen victim to love before, and even now as a teenager I still don't feel it much. It's hard to exactly point out the reason as to why I don't bother with relationships or keep up my mental defence, I can't figure it out.

The most important things to me at the moment are studying and my upcoming exams, and I feel that I'll never have time to detour with a love partner, because I don't want to be distracted. Not that I have anything against relationships, but I often wonder why people decide to have this kind of emotion/feeling at important times in their life.

Unfortunately, all the relationships and love I've seen over the years has always ended with heart-ache, my mom and her boyfriends especially. I feel as if I've learned the love is for the weak, and that you can only truly rely on yourself. I really don't know if I'll ever fall for someone one day, but I'm hoping it won't be a love at first sight event.

In other cases though, if someone feels that this person is right for them, they have every reason to be happy and do what they want, I'm not one to get in the way of one's happiness. I hope that it works out for you, 13thMan, same to Sandy. Just always be careful who you fall for.

[Fasteriskhead]

The difficulty in any kind of discussion about love is that the term itself is deeply unclear. Until very recently, I thought one could understand particular kinds of love by way of the classical, two-millenia old distinction between [i]eros[/i] (a kind of intense, transcendent desire), [i]philia[/i] ("friendliness" based on certain social relationships), and [i]agape[/i] (the kind of love from God to the pious person, the pious person to God, and occasionally even the pious person towards the rest of the world).* Despite this distinction being useful, however, I now think it's still basically inadequate to understanding the practically [i]innumerable[/i] kinds of love we may encounter.**

Here's the difficulty: I can certainly say that I "love" my father. But this kind of love tells me almost nothing about another kind of love I may have towards my fiancee, or towards football, or towards my children, or towards God. The sentence "that person loves" says very little (although this is a different story from "that person is IN love," which always sounds specifically romantic). I don't know if there's a solution to this issue: one kind of love says practically nothing about the other kinds, so if there's a common thread it must be a very subtle one. However, a good start (I think, at least) may be to try to take particular kinds of "thinking" in love and understand them individually and internally. This was the idea in my two articles on Saikano ([URL=http://articles.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&id=2026][u]here[/u][/URL] and [URL=http://articles.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&id=2027][u]here[/u][/URL]) and Kasimasi ([URL=http://articles.theotaku.com/view.php?action=retrieve&id=2448][u]here[/u][/URL]), which are (despite appearances to the contrary) far too brief to really address this problem well.

So that's a roundabout way of answering your question. On the more personal side of the first post: yes, I've been in (romantic) love before. Or at least, I [i]think[/i] I have. One of the characteristics of a certain kind of love, if not all love, is that there's an ambiguity to whether it's actually THERE or not. I would often ask myself whether I was really in love, or if it was just a momentary attraction; or, indeed, whether a momentary attraction still counted as love (despite everything). Whether there was a [i]pure[/i] love, what such a love would look like, whether my own love would meet such a criteria, whether I was loving enough to be worthy of that kind of love, etc.. This is a poor way to spend one's adolescence, but I think I'm only now beginning to understand the worth of these questions.

Uh, and as far as actual romantic [i]relationships[/i] go, you may want to ask someone else.


* folks more curious about this should read the IEP entry [URL=http://www.iep.utm.edu/l/love.htm][u]here[/u][/URL].

** EDIT: I propose [URL=http://www.amazon.com/69-Love-Songs-Magnetic-Fields/dp/B00000JY1X/][u]69 Love Songs[/u][/URL] as evidence of this.

[Ol' Fighter]

Ahh love...if you ask me it's the best thing that can happen to a person. It can do so much good for a person.

Me I haven't fallen in love but from personally seeing the effects of love on so many relationships its wonderful. My closest friend says she feels like "pop rocks" are in her stomach every time her boyfrind says her name. I thought for a sec like what but then I did the dummy thing and actually went up to the store and bought some and just downed em' right in my stomach...that feeling sucked but I understood what she mean't I think
:animeswea

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]I have been in love before. Ended in the worst way and the worst kind of way. I'd get into it, but that wouldn't be good for any of us. If you happen upon the novel [B]Boogiepop Returns Vs. Imaginator[/B], look at the relationship between Taniguchi masaki and Orihata Aya. That's basically how we were. Cept she was WAY crazier.

Anyway, I don't trust love. Perhaps it's because I've been hurt? Perhaps it's because I don't have enough of an understanding of it. I don't know where it roots from. All I have to say is, I have the capacity to fall in love with anyone if they have the capacity to fall in love with me.

On the one hand, I feel like I'd be the perfect boyfriend as I'm overly dedicated. On the other hand I always think that I'd feel sorry for any girl that fell in love with me as I am a practically impossible person to deal with.

If you're interested (and why the hell are you?!) I'm like Piro from [B]Megatokyo[/B] when it comes to things like love.

I know it seems pathetic that I compare myself to anime characters, but I don't care.[/COLOR]

[Guest gundamx]

I've been in love once it was about 7 years ago. This girl I fell in love with her once I saw her and I was thinking if I should tell her right then, but this other girl told me that she liked someone else. I didn't think it was true so I told her what the girl said.

They talked when the girl came to me i was going to tell her I liked her, but she didn't think the girl said that so she said " I don't like you I never will." That's my story about love. :animecry:

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid]Lets see, other than to think a couple of guys are nice and cute; I?ve never really been in love. And I?m not currently falling in love either.

As for falling out of love, I would have to assume that it?s totally possible, especially if you get close to someone and find that they aren?t what you thought they were. So it would make sense that you fall out of love since you?ve just found out that what you were in love with to begin with doesn?t really exist in that person.

I don?t really believe in love at first sight. Rather I would imagine it?s a combination of attraction and lust. I think the more deep aspects of love take time since when you first see a person you don?t really know them other than you think they are really cute have a great body etc. [/COLOR]

[neomonkey]

I am currently in love. I have a girlfriend, (not saying her name) and we're very happy together! :animesmil

Love depends on who it is, if you like them, if they like you, and matters that we cannot express in words theat come from the heart.

[Guest Th3BlackParad3]

i thought i was in luv.... but now im not so sure, i mean what is luv anyway?? i usta think i knew, but now i think i might b in luv w/ my friend, but im not sure if its just another crush, or the real thing.:bawl:
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][INDENT][SIZE=1][B]Th3BlackParad3[/B] please improve your posts, here at OtakuBoards, we greatly emphasize the concept of having clear, easy to read posts. This includes correct use of spelling, grammar and punctuation. So please use something like word or hotmail as they both have a spell check feature. ~SunfallE[/SIZE][/INDENT][/COLOR]

[thepinkprincess]

[COLOR=Magenta]im starting to think love is a thoughtful desire..
..and not a feeling, im 16 and i've said "i love u" to 3 ppl....
but i have only been 'inlove' once...
its kinda weird, not anything that could be figured out, i think with experience it starts to become eaiser..
....but still not completely understood.......[/COLOR]

[Guest akasha_lover]

love is possible but not absolute.
feelings can change just as often as the people involved do.
thnk about your emotions when u are around the person.
are u outrageously horny or are u happy just to be around them?

questions like these will help you realize whether or not the relationship
will be healthy or not.
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][INDENT][SIZE=1][B]akasha_lover[/B] please improve your posts, here at OtakuBoards, we greatly emphasize the concept of having clear, easy to read posts. This includes correct use of spelling, grammar and punctuation. So please use something like word or hotmail as they both have a spell check feature. ~SunfallE[/SIZE][/INDENT][/COLOR]

[Guest Sinful_lover]

First off, I want to make it clear that I do not have any relationship experience in being a couple what-so-ever, but do help friends with their relationship problems as best I can, so please bear with what I'm trying to say to you.

In my point of view, I would think that it is very easy to fall in love with someone, but then being very cautious and worried you might be repeating the same mistake twice if you let yourself fall in love again.
The only real advice I can give you is listen to what you heart's telling you, not your friends nor family members. If you feel uncomfortable being with this person or are afraid to be with them, the best way is to discuss this over with this other person.
It would probably make you feel a lot more comfortable with yourself. But just remember, since you've already been through this kind of pain once, do be careful with this one. Though you may say you love this person very much and they say the same to you, you never know what might happen in the near future.

[dranixe]

Love is not absolute... Love can change... and i agree that it is tricky. I dont think i believe in Love at first sight since Infatuation is possible. Infatuaion and Real love is a little hard to distinguish, but once you feel it, dont let it carry you away... There is such a thing as a very long infatuation period.... I have experienced it and i tell you besides this that.... when you feel that you're really in love with someone.... dont say the three words yet.... Love is not that sure... I dont know but true love can be felt and sown through perceptions, feelings and actions.

Love is an illusion.... that really can blind a person... This is what i think it is....

[Guest Gun Preacher]

I presonaly belive in love and falling in love right now. I have been in love before and lets just say they weren't willing to return the smae emotion. it different now cause this one may really love me back and return the same feelings for me but if not I'm single and alone again. Any way to me love is a good thing and a great thing to exsperience.

[Funny Girl]

[COLOR=Lime]To me love is something that you enjoy and just love to death. You either love the person or like them. I have this really hot guy at my school just he's older than me. He's in highschool and I'm in the last year of Jr.high. He's so hot and I'm falling head over heels for him. Everytime I walk past him he just checks me out and then he looks at me blushing a little and that's it. So love is something that makes you feel all jumpy inside and makes you wanna just keep that same feeling forever.[/COLOR]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE=The13thMan][COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Are you in love, have you been, are you currently falling in love? Have you fallen out? Do you even think it should be possible to fall out of love? Is love absolute? Can you fall in love at first sight? I pretty much want to hear anything you all have to say about the manner.
[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]No I am not in love nor am I falling in love. I did at one time think I was in love, but it didn?t work out and I realized that my feelings were not any deeper than simple attraction.

I do think that you can fall out of love for the simple reason that love is something that is constantly changing. You don?t fall in love and then it?s permanent. I think it?s something that either withers from lack of attention, or grows stronger as the relationship progresses. So I don?t think it?s absolute either.

I don?t really believe in love at first sight. I hear this all the time, but I still don?t believe it. I think that people fall in lust at first sight and then later when the love comes along they romanticize it by saying it was love at first sight. After all many of the people I know consider love more romantic than lust. I have no problem admitting that when I go out with a guy that if there isn?t some level of physical attraction I don?t go out with them. It?s not love, but lust? Definitely. [/COLOR]

[triblackfire]

There are two choices you can make. One is that you never try to experience love with a significant other, or two, you can just go for it and take the risk. I'm currently a high school student, who has been going out with my boyfriend for about six months now, but were good friends the year before. I'm in love with him and so is he to me. I trust that he does and he does the same. Both of us know that the chances of us staying together after high school are slim, but it doesn't stop us from enjoying what we have now. I know I'll lose a part of myself to him, but I'll gain something back in exchange. Sadly though, this concept doesn't work for all relationships. :animeswea

[kumi-chanmi]

Hmm...well I have fallen once and I don't regret it. But the one I loved I lost him out of stupidity. It hurts to look back on the past and I believe there is still hope for me in the future. Love is something that can't really be taken away or stolen, it's something inside of the heart that makes us strong and makes us feel like we have the strength to live on. Love isn't just an emotion, but its kind of i guess a part of you that hurts when the one you love isn't there. Unfortunately I do still think of him every now and again, but instead of just being sad I'm happy to remember those times that we shared. Really it's true to have love than lost, but it's also better to have loved and lost it, than no love at all. :)

[Eureka]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1]
Love.
Love is diffrent for everyone and in that, we all have an ideal. Someone that we hope to love us so we can freely love them.
I've never like really "been in love" before. I've had a crush that lasted for like nine years or something, but I grew out of it and now I think of him as a brother instead.
What is love really though? I believe in it. I'd like for it to happen and be true.
I think that love is unconditional. It doesn't matter who the person is. You love them because they are themselves. Love lasts. Love is selfless. Love is what makes the pain worthwhile. You know you're in love because it feels like nothing else.


...by the way...I'm Eureka-chan and i'm a hopeless romantic.

[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] :animeshy:

[nomad19]

love is such an enigma, its tough to know exactly what to do.
i myself had just gone through a break-up, it really hurt me inside and i took it pretty hard. i based all of my actions through my emotions, i never really thought everything through. when a person's in love based on my experience you start giving your all especially when that love feels legit. you give too much and don't leave room for yourself it's gonna hurt you alot in the end...

all i can say now is, never love too much....too much of a good thing is always bad...

[Japan]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Love is a tricky and fickle thing. I love freedom too much to just buckle down to one guy, but I have crushes and I have others I'm absolutely very close to. I'm just a loving person, I guess.[/COLOR]

[Solo Tremaine]

[quote name='indifference][color=darkred']I do think that you can fall out of love for the simple reason that love is something that is constantly changing. You don?t fall in love and then it?s permanent. I think it?s something that either withers from lack of attention, or grows stronger as the relationship progresses. So I don?t think it?s absolute either.[/color][/quote][color=#503f86]Yeah, definitely.

I've been in love twice before. And both events, individually, felt like they were the most important things in the world to happen to me. It's a cliche thing to say, but you know it's love when you're in it. if you're sat there debating whether you love them or not, chances are you don't, but it may not take long before you do.

The second time I got dumped, which I couldn't cope with.

The first time I just fell out of love. It happened reasonably quickly, actually; my feelings for them just started to change and suddenly I didn't see them as anything more than a friend, aside from one who I'd been very close and open to. But because she was so happy with me, I was scared of disappointing her by having to tell her I was having problems, and in a way I hoped either I'd get over it or she'd find someone else to run off with. Didn't happen, though.

And it's not as if she wasn't what I thought she was going to be- she was (and still is) a fantastic person, but it just wasn't what I wanted from a relationship, and there was a horrible sense of guilty awkwardness being there to make her happy when all I was thinking about was how much I didn't want to be in that situation.

It's instilled a lot of doubts about myself, though. I don't think I ever gave her a proper apology for one thing, which is still hanging over me. But it's also made me wonder what my next relationship will be like. In a way I'm [i]almost[/i] satisfied with being single, but then I remember things about being in love with someone that make me want to find a partner again.

I don't really want to enter into anything that I don't think is going to work, either. Now, I've a tendency to analyse everything about them and look at myself in comparison, thinking 'is this what I want?', and by the time I've made a decision they've usually buggered off.

I don't think you can truely love someone from first sight. You can fall in love with an image of someone (that you've seen, say) as an ideal, but then you start building up your own fantasy of what they're actually like, and you're basically falling in love with something false and/or intangible. Like all these fangirls who actually believe they're in love with people like Johnny Depp.[/color]

[Eureka]

[QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][color=#503f86]
I don't think you can truely love someone from first sight. You can fall in love with an image of someone (that you've seen, say) as an ideal, but then you start building up your own fantasy of what they're actually like, and you're basically falling in love with something false and/or intangible. Like all these fangirls who actually believe they're in love with people like Johnny Depp.[/color][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Trebuchet MS]I totally agree with the aforementioned post. I mean, I can say I'm in love with Edward Elric, but that doesn't make it real. I think that love develops over time and experiances with that person. You know you fall more and more in love with someone because you can just feel it. The affection grows and grows.Despite everything that they do, that happens. You just know. It's a bond that goes above and beyond anything else.You don't love that person because of the way they dress or what kind of car they drive, you love them because they are themselves. You just fall in love with the person's soul.
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[Sojiro47]

Love...??? Where did this come from? Love is very interesting. First, you think your in love, but that falls thru. Then you meet someone else and you [I]hope[/I] it's love, but of course, that falls thru. Finally you meet her and you just know that it won't fall thru. I'm in love, and proud to say so. I've made some [b]bad[/b] mistakes in the past, but this time, that's not happenng.

[quote name='Eureka'] You just fall in love with the person's soul.[/quote] No doubt that this is true. But what happens if you can honestly say you love someone's soul, but they don't want to go anywhere. I mean, I've been in this position before (actually, several times), but I have never found out how to get around this. Just a question to think about.