Writing Fullmetal Alchemist FAN FICT [PG-VL]

[darkstorm123232]

Chapter 1 ? Dark Times

One Day we find our character Edward and his brother Alphonse in Central at the military base talking to Roy Mustang.

?Edward we are going to send you to the east to investigate some sightings of malice,? said Roy.

?Yes Sir, Fuhrer Mustang I will leave right away,? said Edward.

?Your train leaves at 7:00 pm Central time,? said Roy.

Ed Left and Al had a question he wanted to ask.

?Brother why are we still working for the military anyways, since we already used the philosophers stone to get my body back?? said Al

?Because we need the pay and the benefits, also, I would not hurt to find out more about Scar or even Malice,? said Ed.

?Why do you even care about finding me, when I have found you, now you die,? said someone from a distance.

?Who is that, is that malice,? said Al.

?Malice I?ve been looking for you because you killed someone close to us, why did you have to kill her anyways,? said Ed.

?Who did he kill big brother anyways,? said Al.

?Alphonse, I have not told you this because I know how it would upset you if you found out,? said Ed.

?WHO BROTHER!? said Al.

?Whinrey,? said Ed.

?Is it true malice, did you kill Whinrey,? said Al.

?Yes, I killed her in cold blood, then, destroyed the body,? said Malice.

?Bastard, I?m going to destroy you,? said Ed.

Ed did some Alchemy on a knife that he had to make himself a sword. Al took a pipe and transmuted it into a spear. Malice took out his two swords and attacked Al.

We end the chapter with Al spear blocking Malice?s swords. Ed is just watching to see how his brother does with his alchemy.

Then Scar Appears and starts a battle with Ed in the next chapter.

To be continued in the next chapter????.

[darkstorm123232]

I really need some feedback so can someone rate this out of 10 and please give me some more ideas before I post chapter 2 of the story.

~Dark~

[Ol' Fighter]

Well from this little thing here it's kind of alright...just a few errors but it's alright.

7/10 from Lonley Fighter because I love the show and almost anything that has to deal wit it.