Coping with Death

[Chiyo Chan Fan]

I'm most of you know that as of December 11, 2006, it will be exactly one year since my best friend, Ali died (See the thread...What Screwed You Up?). I was wondering if anybody else is coping or trying to cope with a lost family member or close friend.

If you have, I know how you feel. You feel sad :animecry: and angry :animeangr for those of you who know a friend who's family member died. You don't know what to say because you don't want to make them feel worse. It's very hard. I know. I've been there.

[Hanabishi Recca]

My Grandmother died a year ago around this time. It wasn't actually that hard hitting to me. I didn't know her that well, but it did make me sad alittle seeing my Father cry. The only thing I can think of (if you keep on thinking about it) is do something that you have never done before. Because then, its like, you have never done it and it won't remind you of your dead friend. My Grandpa died and I didn't take that hard either. I wasn't that close, but I always enjoyed being around him. Just to let you know, if you need anyone to talk to then you can PM me, okay?

Just try to do something to feel happy okay? That should help you in the long run. Have fun now, later!

Dae

[IceRose]

The one person I would call my significant other, Alan, well he died a year and a half ago. I'm okay now but it was a really hard hit for me. So don't worry you are not alone. I know how it feels but one must keep going in life, thinking that being happy might be what the person you lost might want.

[NightmareVC]

[quote name='Hanabishi Recca'] My Grandpa died and I didn't take that hard either.[/quote]

When my grandpa (mom's side) died, I cried for a good 15-20 minutes. He was like a real dad to me because mom and dad divorced so early. I loved him alot.

I just got news that someone I know may have commited suicide. It's disheartening to know anyone takes their own life. I was trying to help my ex find her friend( who was also my friend) who had gone missing. This morning I got this email," I have reason to believe she is not with us anymore......I found a suicide note in one of her folders.She wanted me to tell you that she loved you even tho she pushed you away. Those were her exact words....Im sorry i couldnt stop her...she might still be out there somwhere if we're lucky." It's like taboo to go out with your friends ex right? But she and I were hitting it off great. She had an abusive relationship with her parents and I promised I'd come rescue her once I could drive. Her and her older brother, who was more like a parent than her biological ones. It's not final yet, but the thought of it all puts a knot in my gut.


satsu-genjuu, everybody.

[nomad19]

my uncle died last march, it took me pretty hard...he was like a dad at times, and he was an awesome tour guide took me to lots of places and hangouts. i'm over it now and i know he's watching down on me and stuff, i just regret not telling him how great he was and how i love him, his death was so sudden it was totally unexpected, since he died by massive heart attack....

[Sojiro47]

One of the little known facts about me is that one of my closest friends in the world die last year in a car accident. His death hit me hard, as he was like a brother to me. Since then, I've been depressed off and on, never really recovering. I don't want to be a lost soul just because I can't stop grieving, but...

[Shane12_01]

This is all to sad really, it kinda makes me not put my experince out there. I'll say it anyway though. :( Well, I was unfortunate to have been born late in my families lives; so late that I had to watch them go starting at an early age. It started with my Mom dying after I turned nine from lung cancer :animecry: and then things started to hit the fan prety quick. My grandpa died three weeks after my Mom. that was hard, almost to hard being so close to both of them. Then, over a course of four years or so my whole dads side past on, leaving me as the only one left to carry on the name. Now my Moms side is starting to get to that point. All of this is hard, but I've had all this crap so much that it scares me, after all this I feared and still fear my own death. I have nightmares of seeing myself rot in the ground and many other things; I guess I'm still not over it even after all this time. I'm much more stable, but it will probly never fully go away. It tok me a while, but the best I can sujest is dwell on the good, not the bad; and get through it and move on, but never forget. :animesmil

This kind of thing really makes you appreciate all that you have, and has you think what you're going to do with the time that you got. Kinda a lousy wake up call, but it's there. :animeswea

Sorry for my sob story, I just felt like getting it out there.

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed][FONT=Arial]I feel incredibly sheltered. I've only been to one funeral and that was for a classmate that I was fond of. I can't honestly say I mourned her death, but it was rather affecting to see her die slowly of brain cancer.

I remember when my first pet rabbit died I cried on and off for 3 weeks at the slightest reminder of her. I was about 7 years old at the time.

Though I've been fortunate to not have any persons close to me pass away I think from that first experience and a similar reaction for the next following half dozen deaths of various pets, I'm going to have a ball when someone I care about dies.

Hey, but like my mother says, "when I die, don't cry. Be happy I'll be in a better place." I'm in no way religious but I believe her because she's my mommy :)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Guest Phaedrus]

It's just forms changing to other forms.

When you miss someone who has left this system of reality, it is much akin to missing that stuffed teddy-bear or that faithful plank you carried around with you when you were a child.

You're missing the MATERIAL being that they were.

However, the general essence is never destroyed; energy is neither created nor destroyed, but is waved out into reality. Matter is neither created nor destroyed; it just becomes something else.

The immaterial always lives on, as an echo of the now deceased in you, as positive waves they subsumed into being. In these things, we all live on, as a collection of endless YOUS and names.

When we die, our body releases excess amounts of a drug called DMT, and perhaps other amounts of drugs which are naturally produced within our brains. This massive release causes death to be a pleasurable, immersive experience whereby everything makes sense for a compressed, momentary amount of time before you lose your consciousness and return to the greater consciousness.

It's funny that most fear death, so much so that they live life trying to get an insurance policy on their life, so they can go to some paradise.

While it is natural to grieve for the death of someone amazing you knew, and had intimate connections with, eventually life goes on, and eventually it's unhealthy to worry about something you cannot change.

This is what it is--your life could end at any moment. You'd be best to get the most out of it while you can, and not dwell on something so unknowable.

[shadowmovement]

I lost my grandmother (on my dad's side) around three years ago. I was a huge and bad surprise to me, because she was always so healthy. She exercised and ate well and I never expected her to die before my grandfather. I remember the day ever well and how sad I was when it happed. I don't exactly remember how I got over it, but I was on a vacation at the time so it helped get my mind off of it. But I think I was able to get over it by not thinking about it so much (I hope that doesn't sound too uncaring).

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE=Chiyo Chan Fan] I was wondering if anybody else is coping or trying to cope with a lost family member or close friend.

If you have, I know how you feel. You feel sad :animecry: and angry :animeangr for those of you who know a friend who's family member died. You don't know what to say because you don't want to make them feel worse. It's very hard. I know. I've been there.[/QUOTE]It?s been long enough since my brother died that I no longer feel like I am trying to cope with it. At first it was horrible and I went from sad to angry to all sorts of intense feelings for the first couple of years. Now as time goes by it?s more of sadness that even though I don?t think about it all the time, it?s always there when ever I think about him.[/COLOR]

[kumi-chanmi]

I've had lots of people in my family die. Its always hard and I try and make sense of it but nothing feels right. Especially when both of my aunts died in the same year. One was there practically everyday while the other had to visit and then go back home. I had cried a lot when the were both gone. Sometimes I still wish they were still here. Even to talk about them is hard because they're gone and I felt like I didn't do anything to help. In my dreams I still see them, just as they were before they went to a better place. I pray for them and I hope they are okay. As of now my great-grandmother is in the process of leaving. I know I have to be strong for her. She is a strong woman and I hope when she leaves I hope she'll feel like she's accomplished everything she wanted and then I'll be able to try and not be so sad.

[Darren]

The tears I cried that whole week when my best friend passed away... :animesigh It was almost a year ago, and I won't get into details for lack of time and patience. It wouldn't have been as bad, if it hadn't been for other people. There were other a-holes who loved to start drama and talk crap about my friend, just to see what I'd do. People who disrespected someone who can no longer defend themselves are really low. Needless to say, I almost got expelled permanently. So I had to buckle down. It died out eventually, and now I'm better. After so long, I didn't expect to be doing this good, but I think I just went through the whole process of acceptance (The seven steps or wahtever) so quickly because I didn't have anyone to be around at the time. It was summer and I had no friends to talk to, my parents worked, and my brother was out all the time. (not that I would have talked to him anyway) I don't know what I can really say as to what helps. I still visit my friend's gravesite often and tidy it up. (it's a little trashy in that area of town; it the closest cemetary to his grandparent's house) And that provides a release. Lotsa poetry and writing has occured. Although, I can't say it was caused by depression or helped with coping... I don't know. Everyone deals with it differntly. I slpet every day for about 16 hours, (my mom was considering a psychiatrist) and when I was awake, I never ate and I wrote constantly. Things are always hard, but they're supposed to get easier. It's cliche, yes, but look forward to all the good things that are coming up for you. That's all you can do really.