Art My German Children's Book ^_^

[inactive]

Recently I created a Children's book entitled "Chiaras Abenteuer im Weihnachtsland (Chiara's Adventure in Christmas-land)" for my German class. We had to make a Children's book for a child in grade 2, incorporating them and the information we had about them into our stories. My kid was named Chiara, as you might have guessed.

Anyway, I worked EXTREMELY hard on this project (actually causing me to get so stressed that I took a day off school :animedepr ), so I thought I would post it here and get some feedback/constructive criticism. I don't suppose that very many of you can actually read it, but that's okay. If you can, great. I'd love to know what you think of my story. Also feel free to comment on the layout and such.

I suppose I'll start off with the title page and page 1. I'll post the others as I deem appropriate. (There are 15 pages in all, excluding the title page.)

[IMG]http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m146/scifinerd/Titlepage.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m146/scifinerd/Page1.jpg[/IMG]

There you go. I did the title page last, so I was basically feeling drained of all creative energy by the time I got around to it. So that explains why it's so boring. :animeswea

I like page 1, but there's something a bit odd about her face... Oh well. By the time I coloured it in it was too late to fix it anyway.

Oh yeah, and if you can see weird blotches sillhoutted on the pictures, that's because I drew on both sides on the papers, and my scanner picked up some of the other picture showing through. :animeswea

So, waddaya think?

[tachiKC]

Cool, but what do they mean?

[inactive]

Well, I didn't really think that the story was that relevant, but if you really want to know, here's the translation:

Chiara's Adventure in Christmas-land

There was once a little girl named Chiara. She was blond with blue eyes, and she loved Christmas.
Every year she would get very excited around Christmas time, and she could hardly wait to find out what Santa Claus would bring for her.


Heh, heh. There you go. :D

[Katana]

[size=1][color=royalblue]Ich spreche Detusch! ...Aber nicht gut...aber...aber ich spreche Deutsch! XD Considering I'm just about halfway through my second year, I think I'm pretty good at it. ^^;

Lovely pictures you've got going for you, though I really like how it has the purpose of being for your buddy-student in Grade 2. It makes it more meaningful, especially to little Chiara. (She sounds cute. o_o; )

There's a few obvious things, such as how Chiara is a little tilted on the title page, but that's really something that happens...a lot. It happens to me, I know. Probably what I appreciate the most is how thick you've layered on the colored pencils, so it looks nice and filled in instead of having thet paper show through.
My only real suggestion would be trying to clean up the text lines and getting all the words (especially Weinachtentszeit) on one line instead of chopping them up. It sorta threw me off a bit while reading (I could pick up bits and pieces, gimme a break xD). Oh, and changing the font to a non-Times New Roman would be nice, though that's more of me. Times New Roman is the bane of my (typing) existence. ><;

Schönes Wochenende! *bricked*[/color][/size]

[Retribution]

[quote name='tachiKC']Cool, but what do they mean?[/quote]
[size=1]To be frank, the text has little to do with how the art could be improved. "Cool" isn't helpful to anyone, really. While it's a nice thing to say, a point-blank compliment doesn't let the artist know what they did well or how it could be improved, which is the biggest part of the Art Studio.

Something like "The first page looks amazing -- the proportions and background look good, but the second page could be better in terms of the character's face" is much more helpful, while still being supportive to the artist's efforts.[/size]

[inactive]

[quote name='Katana][size=1][color=royalblue]Ich spreche Detusch! ...Aber nicht gut...aber...aber ich spreche Deutsch! XD Considering I'm just about halfway through my second year, I think I'm pretty good at it. ^^;[/color'][/size][/quote]
Tee hee, sweet, you can speak German! Hey, I've been speaking German for my entire life, so don't feel bad if you can't understand everything. :p

[quote name='Katana][size=1][color=royalblue]My only real suggestion would be trying to clean up the text lines and getting all the words (especially Weinachtentszeit) on one line instead of chopping them up. It sorta threw me off a bit while reading (I could pick up bits and pieces, gimme a break xD).[/color'][/size][/quote]
Yeah, I get what you mean about breaking up "Weihnachtszeit". It looked even worse if I didn't do that though... And I had to fit my text into a fairly small area, too... I guess I could have used a smaller font size, but it's too late now. :p

Anyway, I gave Chiara her book the other day, and I think she liked it. Well, I'm really not all that good with kids...so she was probably more impressed with the book than she was with me. :animeswea

Here are pages 2 and 3.
[IMG]http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m146/scifinerd/Page2.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m146/scifinerd/Page3.jpg[/IMG]
Please, comment away!