Intimacy issues

[The13thMan]

[quote name='lostvoice]It's alot more difficult than you think! It's my [I]firs[/I']t kiss. I imagined it to fit my most fond fantasies so straying from those dreams is difficult.[/quote]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]You're proving my point. You're making it into a much bigger deal than it has to be. Your first kiss is not a big deal at all and, in all honesty, i don't see why there is such a big deal on it. I mean, it's your first time! You don't know what you're doing! Chance are it won't be that great, it'll just be wet and confusing. What matters is that you're with the person that you want to be with at the time. If you know you want to be with him, then just kiss the guy. ^L^ No biggy. You can worry about kisses later, when you're a pro at 'em.

But if you can't give up your hopes for your first kiss, and you don't know whether you want to be with the guy or not, then maybe you should stop making him wait for it. It's not really fair to him. Ah...but you should ask him, maybe he doesn't mind waiting. You did say he was patient, after all.
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[Sojiro47]

Trying to decide if your first kiss is important is like trying to decide if your first time at sex is important. 'Tho it's true that the first kiss is normaly sloppy, it still is planted in one's mind. It's one of those "coming of age" things. I'm sure you remember your first kiss, don't you 13? I know I do. It [i]is[/i] important, but we do have a habit of holding it too high.

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

That's true. I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.

[The13thMan]

[quote name='Sojiro47]Trying to decide if your first kiss is important is like trying to decide if your first time at sex is important. 'Tho it's true that the first kiss is normaly sloppy, it still is planted in one's mind. It's one of those "coming of age" things. I'm sure you remember your first kiss, don't you 13? I know I do. It [i]is[/i'] important, but we do have a habit of holding it too high.[/quote]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]My question is, why is it important? I honestly don't think it should be. Yes, i understand that most people consider it quite important, and i myself even look back at mine fondly. But why should the first kiss be more important then let's say the 35th kiss? The 35th kiss was probably better, seeing as you actually know what you're doing and can make it quite a good one. I just think we shouldn't worry about the first step as much as the entire staircase...if that metaphor makes any sense.

Though i did say it wasn't important, what i meant to say was that it shouldn't be important.

And it's a little silly to compare sex to a kiss. One's a much bigger deal than the other. In my book, you don't necessarily have to be in love with the person you have your first kiss with, but as for sex... you really really should. I know in culture today it's acceptable to sexually promiscuous, but i totally disagree with that. So...to sum up my feelings for this paragraph in a mathematical expression

Sex > Kiss

^L^


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[DeadSeraphim]

[QUOTE=The13thMan][COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]My question is, why is it important? I honestly don't think it should be. Yes, i understand that most people consider it quite important, and i myself even look back at mine fondly. But why should the first kiss be more important then let's say the 35th kiss? The 35th kiss was probably better, seeing as you actually know what you're doing and can make it quite a good one. I just think we shouldn't worry about the first step as much as the entire staircase...if that metaphor makes any sense.

Though i did say it wasn't important, what i meant to say was that it shouldn't be important.

And it's a little silly to compare sex to a kiss. One's a much bigger deal than the other. In my book, you don't necessarily have to be in love with the person you have your first kiss with, but as for sex... you really really should. I know in culture today it's acceptable to sexually promiscuous, but i totally disagree with that. So...to sum up my feelings for this paragraph in a mathematical expression

Sex > Kiss

^L^


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[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Because it's a turning point. It's a 1st time. You only get to have your first kiss once, and it's a memory you'll remember forever, so why not make it special? It isn't as big a moment as your first ****, sure, but on a sentimentality scale it's still right up there. There's a reason people remember their first kiss forever, and there's a reason a lot of people want to make sure they aren't losing that moment to someone they're not even sure they like/love in that moment of time. Don't trivialize it because you've become jaded.[/font][/color][/size]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Because it's a turning point. It's a 1st time. You only get to have your first kiss once, and it's a memory you'll remember forever, so why not make it special? It isn't as big a moment as your first ****, sure, but on a sentimentality scale it's still right up there. There's a reason people remember their first kiss forever, and there's a reason a lot of people want to make sure they aren't losing that moment to someone they're not even sure they like/love in that moment of time. Don't trivialize it because you've become jaded.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]
Thanks for fighting for my point. But 13 has a point, I can't be too scared to do it or I may never do it. So really both you ideas are good. Do it because you want to and make it special.

[The13thMan]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Because it's a turning point. It's a 1st time. You only get to have your first kiss once, and it's a memory you'll remember forever, so why not make it special? It isn't as big a moment as your first ****, sure, but on a sentimentality scale it's still right up there. There's a reason people remember their first kiss forever, and there's a reason a lot of people want to make sure they aren't losing that moment to someone they're not even sure they like/love in that moment of time. Don't trivialize it because you've become jaded.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]I know what it [B]is[/B]. My point is that what it is is unnecessary. Your first kiss is important, sure, but why is it any more important than the second? The second has a greater potential of being a better kiss, because at least this time you have a slight idea of what's going on, and probably not as nervous either.

Sentiment should have no value before an event takes place. You can't or shouldn't place sentiment on that which has not yet happen. The reason being, ya never know what'll mean more to you until you have time to look back. Your first kiss could be horrible. But maybe your 5th kiss could be amazing and all it's cracked out to be. In that case you should remember and place sentiment on the 5th. Which came first is or should be unimportant.

Jaded? ...i suppose you know me better than i know myself, eh? I'd appreciate it if you kept those sort of comments to yourself. And also, so you know, i'm far from jaded. I'm very much "unjaded." I'm quite in love with my girlfriend and i want very badly to see her again. Everything's magical and wonderful.

...uhmm, so there! XP
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[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Oh, dear. This has gone on for far too long.

After reading all of the [B]pertinent[/B] posts, [COLOR=DarkRed]lostvoice[/COLOR], I see a girl who is afflicted with a [I]touch[/I] of hopeless romanticism, but who somehow sees that touch, though she may not recognize it for what it is, and is unsure what to do about it. I also see a girl who wants her love to be real love, which is not at all hopless romanticism.

You've been offered a good deal of advice over the rambling course of this thread, not all of it good, and not all of it wholesome. You've been told things running from "Just get it over with" to "If you're not sure, dump the guy" to "Hey, try makin' out with other girls and let us watch!". If by this time your head isn't spinning a little, then I would be very amazed and a little proud.

As for me, all I can give you is this: your first kiss is ultimately your choice. Yes, it's a big deal. Despite claims to the contrary, it is very much a big deal. There's no real reason for it to be such a big deal, but it is. That's just the way emotions and memory work together. So it's entirely understandable for you to be a little nervous. You've never done this kind of thing before; you don't know what'll happen; you don't know what it'll feel like; you just don't know. And that's okay. That's just fine.

This being your first kiss, it'll also serve to draw you two a little closer together. Again, dunno why, it just does. It'll do the same thing should you start dating someone else in the future ? it won't be your [I]first[/I] first kiss, but it's still a first kiss in and of itself.

Even still, there's no pressure to do this. Don't feel like you're taking away from the relationship if you don't feel up to it. There's plenty of other ways to show your affection; you have no idea how good it feels for a guy to have his girl resting on his shoulder or chest. Even little things, like random pokes or caresses, or playing with his hair, are just as endearing.

The point is, don't worry about it. You're young. (So am I, but my age is irrelevant ? I think a lot.) Enjoy what you've got going. Have a good time. Don't do anything that would compromise your honor or relationship (and for the love of [I]GOD[/I] don't listen to [COLOR=DarkRed]Charles[/COLOR] or [COLOR=DarkRed]DeadSeraphim[/COLOR]), but live anyway. You'll know when you're ready for the first kiss. It'll come ? don't rush it.

-A[/FONT]

[Charles]

[QUOTE=Allamorph][FONT=Arial]insert B.S. here

-A[/FONT][/QUOTE]

Don't come in here telling me that my posts are not pertinent. Like, how dare you.

The original poster has [I]said[/I] that my points are valid.

[quote name='lostvoice][B]They are indeed helping me since I've honestly never been to sure of my sexual identity[/B]. You should all losen up and stop acting like a bunch of perverted pigs and Stop being so defensive of me. I can handle myself. [B]Besides if I were sure of my sexuality I would've shun the idea of homosexuality[/B'].[/quote]

Anyone who can't see past the obviously lighthearted undertones in my posts and arrive at the relevance of my message (that if God has supposedly created lostvoice as she is, then God should accept her) then you're just dense. The fact of the matter is that lostvoice has some self-admitted issues she needs to sort out before I can be proven wrong.

I'm not telling anyone in here that their advice is wrong, so kindly refrain from insulting me and my opinion.

[Gavin]

[quote name='lostvoice]It's alot more difficult than you think! It's my [I]first[/I'] kiss. I imagined it to fit my most fond fantasies so straying from those dreams is difficult.[/quote]

[SIZE=1]Lostvoice, seriously your first kiss will almost certainly not live up to your expectations, in fact it will probably feel weirder than anything you've ever done in your life with another person up until that point.

Relations are things that need constant work, if you don't feel it's working you can either try a different approach or end it and go back to the drawing board in terms of what you're looking for. You seem to believe your current boyfriend is not working out, my advice then would be to simply let him know the reasons as to why, as I said I think your own reasons are a little unrealistic but you're doing more harm than good by just stringing him around.

As for anyone who've had problems with what Alan and Charles have said, lighten up for God's sake, there's so little humour in this place a funeral would be a step in the right direction. [/SIZE]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][QUOTE=The13thMan][COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]I know what it [B]is[/B]. My point is that what it is is unnecessary. Your first kiss is important, sure, but why is it any more important than the second? The second has a greater potential of being a better kiss, because at least this time you have a slight idea of what's going on, and probably not as nervous either.

Sentiment should have no value before an event takes place. You can't or shouldn't place sentiment on that which has not yet happen. The reason being, ya never know what'll mean more to you until you have time to look back. Your first kiss could be horrible. But maybe your 5th kiss could be amazing and all it's cracked out to be. In that case you should remember and place sentiment on the 5th. Which came first is or should be unimportant.
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But you don't. I don't remember my fifth kiss. I don't remember my 32nd kiss. I only remember my first kiss, and that's how it is for most people. Yes, it's awkward, and yes, it's never fantastic, but it doesn't matter, because people still place sentimentality on it. I repeat - you only get your first kiss [i]once[/i]. If someone has relationship issues with someone, and they're not sure they want to waste that moment on someone they're not even sure about, why encourage them too? It's not "just a kiss", it's one of those defining moments of your life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to hold it up as some sort of unachievable goal, I'm just saying, in light of the fact she's not even sure about this dude, she shouldn't throw away that moment unless she's totally sure she wants to. You can say "the fifth will be better!" all you want, but hey, who cares? That's just a fifth kiss. It's not a first. People only ever remember their first.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Allamorph]

[QUOTE=Charles][Quote=Allamorph][FONT=Arial]insert B.S. here

-A[/FONT][/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
[FONT=Arial]Heh. That was rather amusing. :p Sometime that's actually what it seems like.

Coupla' things.

1. I didn't exactly mention whose posts I thought were pertinent, and I don't believe I will. The only thing it would serve would be to start an uber-defensive posting firestorm, if you will, and those are completely unnecessary. (Actually, [COLOR=DarkRed]Charles[/COLOR], you [I]did[/I] have some well-made points, and, if you remember, I addressed none of anyone's arguments at all. There's no hatin' from this end.) If anyone thinks I'm deliberately dissing what they've said, then I'm sorry you feel that way but I won't agree or disagree ? and I can't take back any of what I said, so I won't bother trying. And before anyone brings up the last paragraph, let me say that it's very hard for me to deadpan in writing.

2. I wasn't aiming any of my remarks at anyone except [COLOR=DarkRed]lostvoice[/COLOR]. She's the one with the issues, she's the one we need to be talking to; heated arguments amongst ourserlves serve nothing, for they only takes the focus off of the situation at hand. If someone wants to have at me, then they can PM me and I [I]might[/I] oblige them, but I'm sure [COLOR=DarkRed]lostvoice[/COLOR] would appreciate it if we stick to the topic and keep our petty bickerings out of sight.

I'm just talking seriously, slowly, and sensibly here, guys (I hope, at least; forgive me my alliteration). There are no barbs, no hidden slanders (or perhaps libels in this case), no malice-ridden statements on my end. When I want to purposefully insult somebody, they'll know it. Trust me. But I really don't like to do that kind of crud ? it makes me feel sick afterwards.

Just focus on the girl.

-A [SIZE=1][I]? only returning if necessary[/I][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

HE kissed me on the cheek todaY!!! I figured things out between us. I'm shy about love and he's romantically retarded!!!

I decided To throw a signal. So when we hugged goodbye I asked if that was all, Just a hug. And he was like I don't know. And so I was like Oh my god! He's a total idiot. I'm waiting here for him and hes not even doing anything. We get to the bike rack, he says goodbye, hugs me and kisses me on the cheek!!

It's not much but it's a start.

[Ol' Fighter]

I don't know how much this is worth but honestly congrates on your first step to the akward path that is known as "love".

[MissWem]

[quote name='lostvoice]It's alot more difficult than you think! It's my [I]firs[/I']t kiss. I imagined it to fit my most fond fantasies so straying from those dreams is difficult.[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkRed][FONT=Arial]I've been following this thread with great amusement. I love how I can see everyone's personality so vividly.

[I]Anyway[/I], I was curious, since you are considering taking a step into the wonderful wetlands that is the mouth, if you'd care to share a bit about your fantasy of what your first kiss would be like. If it's not too 'out there' it may actually be something you can experience. Just because it's a "first time" it doesn't have to be awkward, some people are lucky enough to have a great experience with their first attempts.

I'd like to tell you what my fantasy was but right up until my actual first kiss, I still couldn't get over how [I]disgusting[/I] the mechanics of a kiss are. Scratch that, up until after the first few I still thought they were pretty gross for such a pleasurable experience. My only complaint was that the guy was a bit slobbery which could be why...[/FONT][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[QUOTE=lostvoice]HE kissed me on the cheek todaY!!! I figured things out between us. I'm shy about love and he's romantically retarded!!!

I decided To throw a signal. So when we hugged goodbye I asked if that was all, Just a hug. And he was like I don't know. And so I was like Oh my god! He's a total idiot. I'm waiting here for him and hes not even doing anything. We get to the bike rack, he says goodbye, hugs me and kisses me on the cheek!!

It's not much but it's a start.[/QUOTE]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Ha. Thank God that's sorted out. It's okay people, return to your homes. Nothing to see here.[/font][/color][/size]

[The13thMan]

[QUOTE=DeadSeraphim][COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]
But you don't. I don't remember my fifth kiss. I don't remember my 32nd kiss. I only remember my first kiss, and that's how it is for most people. Yes, it's awkward, and yes, it's never fantastic, but it doesn't matter, because people still place sentimentality on it. I repeat - you only get your first kiss [i]once[/i]. If someone has relationship issues with someone, and they're not sure they want to waste that moment on someone they're not even sure about, why encourage them too? It's not "just a kiss", it's one of those defining moments of your life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to hold it up as some sort of unachievable goal, I'm just saying, in light of the fact she's not even sure about this dude, she shouldn't throw away that moment unless she's totally sure she wants to. You can say "the fifth will be better!" all you want, but hey, who cares? That's just a fifth kiss. It's not a first. People only ever remember their first.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]You must think i'm quite unintelligent. And by making that statement you come off just that way. I do know what it [B]is[/B], i'm not arguing that, what i [B]am[/B] arguing is what it should be. You seem to be greatly confused by what i think should be and what i think is. That's really all there is for me to say...


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[DeathKnight]

[quote name='The13thMan][COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]You must think i'm quite unintelligent.[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

[color=crimson]Bloody hell, you aren't?![/color]

[quote name='lostvoice']I figured things out between us. I'm shy about love and he's romantically retarded!!! [/quote]

[color=crimson]A perfect match!

Just, everything takes a little effort and can end up progressing pretty slowly. Romance can be especially slow going if you are young, shy and inexperienced at, well, romance. Just follow your gut feelings and you should do alright. Feel it out, figure it out, be patient about it.

I'm not sure why everyone else here had a crappy first kiss, mine was pretty awesome.[/color]

[The13thMan]

[quote name='DeathKnight][color=crimson']Bloody hell, you aren't?![/color][/quote]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]I'll stab you in the gut with a rock! Wait...or maybe i'll pummel you with knives? I'll uh...throw bullets at you.

Shoot maybe you [B]are[/B] right!

Darn...
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[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='DeathKnight']I'm not sure why everyone else here had a crappy first kiss, mine was pretty awesome.[/color][/quote]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Mine was pretty awesome too, but you know, speaking for the majority and all. We're in the minority, man.[/font][/color][/size]

[Semjaza]

My first kiss was the worst experience of my life.

[Ol' Fighter]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Mine was pretty awesome too, but you know, speaking for the majority and all. We're in the minority, man.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]

Come to think of it, my first kiss was wonderfully goffy, because my first kiss was given to me when I was in the fourth grade and it was by all means the most goffiest kiss ever but the feeling that I got afterwards was like blissful.

[AzureWolf]

[quote name='Generic NPC #3']My first kiss was the worst experience of my life.[/quote][COLOR=maroon]Oh c'mon, you can't dangle a treat in front of us and not give it to us eventually! It sounds like an interesting story![/COLOR]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

[quote name='AzureWolf][COLOR=maroon']Oh c'mon, you can't dangle a treat in front of us and not give it to us eventually! It sounds like an interesting story![/COLOR][/quote]


I agree! Tell Us!! [I]Tell Us!![/I]

[The13thMan]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Yes, Generic NPC, please relive the worst experience of your life for us! We want to get a good laugh out of it! Bahaha, he was so horribly awkward!

Eh...sarcasm.
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