Intimacy issues

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

The problems solved. I dumped him. He didn't want to be friends afterward so now I think hes kind of an asswhole. :animeangr But anyway I think I need someone... I don't know....mabye a guy who's less masculine. Someone strong yet still kind. (Someone less athletic and more [I][B]Poetic[/B][/I].)

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='lostvoice]The problems solved. I dumped him. He didn't want to be friends afterward so now I think hes kind of an asswhole. :animeangr But anyway I think I need someone... I don't know....mabye a guy who's less masculine. Someone strong yet still kind. (Someone less athletic and more [I][B]Poetic[/B][/I'].)[/quote]Let me get this straight, you dump him, he no longer wants to be friends and that makes him an asshole?

Most people aren't going to say thank you for dumping me lets be friends! Don't worry so much about whether or not some is athletic or poetic. Find someone who has similar interests or horror of horrors, isn't athletic but yet is a nice guy.

The more expectations you put on that one special person, the more you are going to overlook the great people all around you since you?ll be worrying over things that in the end aren?t that important. I don't know about other guys, but I couldn't write poetry to save my life.

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

All the couples I know who break up with no argument become friends. It's just not athletic stuff i'm sick of but also...well...have you ever tried talking to a rock? And everything we(him mostly) did talk about that he understood was his football games his hockeygames and how I had intimacy issues. He made me feel kinda bad about it after a while of hearing." You have [I]Intimacy issues [/I] . You need to tell me when to kiss you. Why do you feel so [I]Awkward[/I] around your friends? I'm not just going to kiss you out of no where, you need to tell me when!" So I got rid of him. And all I was saying was that I wanted someone less [I]manly[/I] and a little more [I]spontanious[/I]. My friends didn't have to ask for[I] their [/I] first kiss. Why should I? (Oh, and the poetry thing. I just meant literate. sorry.)

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='lostvoice]All the couples I know who break up with no argument become friends. It's just not athletic stuff i'm sick of but also...well...have you ever tried talking to a rock? And everything we(him mostly) did talk about that he understood was his football games his hockeygames and how I had intimacy issues. He made me feel kinda bad about it after a while of hearing." You have [I]Intimacy issues [/I] . You need to tell me when to kiss you. Why do you feel so [I]Awkward[/I] around your friends? I'm not just going to kiss you out of no where, you need to tell me when!" So I got rid of him. And all I was saying was that I wanted someone less [I]manly[/I] and a little more [I]spontanious[/I]. My friends didn't have to ask for[I] their [/I'] first kiss. Why should I? (Oh, and the poetry thing. I just meant literate. sorry.)[/quote]So the two of you argued then? Or didn?t? Not everyone is going to remain friends once they?ve broken up. I?ve seen quite a bit of both, those who are still friends and those who are not once they?ve broken up.

And another thing, you didn?t tell us that all he did was talk about football or hockey; or that he was telling you that you had intimacy issues, we can?t exactly read your mind. ;) You started the thread with the statement of I have intimacy issues, not ?[I]my boyfriend says I have intimacy issues[/I]? In fact if you look here: [QUOTE=lostvoice]Ok. let me just say it right now;I HAVE INTIMACY ISSUES!!!!!

My boyfriend is kind,witty and paitient,especially with me.[/QUOTE]You indicated that he was kind, witty and patient with you. Not that he was nagging you saying you had intimacy issues.

I?m a bit confused as to why him asking when it was okay to kiss you is problematic as well. I?ve run into the issue with girls who either expect to be asked or want to just be kissed. And what happened with your friends is irrelevant. Your first kiss is all about you whether or not you got asked first. Your boyfriend, unless you tell him, doesn?t know that you are expecting him to just be spontaneous and kiss you.

And as a guy I can tell you that it?s pretty damn hard sometimes to figure out what a girl wants, and it?s not a pleasant experience for a girl to slap and shove you or have a cow if you go to kiss them and they think you are being too forward.

Anyway, what I?m getting at is it?s hard to give you advice when we don?t have enough facts to truly understand what?s going on. ;)

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

[QUOTE=Rachmaninoff]So the two of you argued then? Or didn?t? Not everyone is going to remain friends once they?ve broken up. I?ve seen quite a bit of both, those who are still friends and those who are not once they?ve broken up.

And another thing, you didn?t tell us that all he did was talk about football or hockey; or that he was telling you that you had intimacy issues, we can?t exactly read your mind. ;) You started the thread with the statement of I have intimacy issues, not ?[I]my boyfriend says I have intimacy issues[/I]? In fact if you look here: You indicated that he was kind, witty and patient with you. Not that he was nagging you saying you had intimacy issues.

I?m a bit confused as to why him asking when it was okay to kiss you is problematic as well. I?ve run into the issue with girls who either expect to be asked or want to just be kissed. And what happened with your friends is irrelevant. Your first kiss is all about you whether or not you got asked first. Your boyfriend, unless you tell him, doesn?t know that you are expecting him to just be spontaneous and kiss you.

And as a guy I can tell you that it?s pretty damn hard sometimes to figure out what a girl wants, and it?s not a pleasant experience for a girl to slap and shove you or have a cow if you go to kiss them and they think you are being too forward.

Anyway, what I?m getting at is it?s hard to give you advice when we don?t have enough facts to truly understand what?s going on. ;)[/QUOTE]

Ok. tThe truth is I'm so confused that My mind needed time to sort things out. And I told him he just had to do it But he kept asking.

It all started with him asking why I was nervous being around my friends and him. I said That I felt alot of pressure and it made me uncomfortable. He said that he thought I had intimacy issues from the beginning and now he knows for sure. Things didn't get better and he started to complain and get frustrated. It made me feel bad. I beleived what He told me because I didn't know what to think. So I sought help.

And no we did't fight.

[NashvilleDream]

[quote name='lostvoice]The problems solved. I dumped him. He didn't want to be friends afterward so now I think hes kind of an asswhole. :animeangr But anyway I think I need someone... I don't know....mabye a guy who's less masculine. Someone strong yet still kind. (Someone less athletic and more [i][b]Poetic[/b][/i'].)[/quote]You'll want to be careful on that, you definately don't want it to seem like a rebound. I think you should probably hang out and have fun being single for a while, and let things happen.

[Rachmaninoff]

[QUOTE=lostvoice]Ok. tThe truth is I'm so confused that My mind needed time to sort things out. And I told him he just had to do it But he kept asking.

It all started with him asking why I was nervous being around my friends and him. I said That I felt alot of pressure and it made me uncomfortable. He said that he thought I had intimacy issues from the beginning and now he knows for sure. Things didn't get better and he started to complain and get frustrated. It made me feel bad. I beleived what He told me because I didn't know what to think. So I sought help.

And no we did't fight.[/QUOTE]Ah I see, so it started as an initial question that spiraled into a greater misunderstanding. One where you believed what he told you. And perhaps you do have intimacy issues. Or, again since I don't know the whole story, perhaps you felt uncomfortable since he was trying to move a little to quick for you.

Either way, I'd listen to NashvilleDream's advice and sit back and take a break from the dating scene, if only to sort through your own feelings as to why the last relationship had issues.

[Ol' Fighter]

[quote name='lostvoice]The problems solved. I dumped him. He didn't want to be friends afterward so now I think hes kind of an asswhole. :animeangr But anyway I think I need someone... I don't know....mabye a guy who's less masculine. Someone strong yet still kind. (Someone less athletic and more [I][B]Poetic[/B][/I'].)[/quote]

Now that's no fun at all...

To be honest if I was in your shoes I wouldn't of had broke it of so easy because when your boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever you always even if it's is just for a little bit will feel unconfortable I believe you should of been just a little more patient.