Intimacy issues

[Charles]

[quote name='Lonley Fighter']Talking about persistance...Charles stop trying to turn her gay and her little name "lostvoice" I'm pretty sure of doesn't hid any lesbinic (if that's a word) urges, I personally think the name lostvoice signafies an small voice that has been lost in the sounds around it ya' know something like that berhaps a lost...somethin'.[/quote]

You may be right but my explanation totally sounded like, a thousand times better and more coherent because I read what you said five times and it still may as well be Chinese. Anyway, I won't make any further posts on the subject as I feel that my point has been made! But when we get some hot lesbian action on OtakuBoards, I'm banning you for questioning my wisdom and authority on the subject.

[Sojiro47]

[QUOTE=Charles] I don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center, but I'm ready to help her start using her tongue.
[/QUOTE]
Nice!

Anyway, you have a point there. She can't get intimate with her boyfriend, and she she has a crush on a girl. But does that make her gay? Once upon a time, I had a crush on a boy, but I'm still very strait. Is it possible to have a crush on the same sex but still be strait?

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]Charles, stop being a jerk to the poor girl. You and a bunch of others have been raggin' on her since page one. If you don't like love advice threads then don't post, and stop talking about sexuality when it frankly ISN'T the issue. I know you were just joking around, but from her and everyone else's responses, everyone seems to be treating it seriously. Just drop it, everyone.

Lostvoice, Like Dodeca, I think you should take a close look at fasteriskhead's comment, because I think it's really valid and has a lot of insight into it.

I really think the question is, "Do you love him?"

I don't know the answer to this question, but from what you've been saying so far, it doesn't seem like you're head over heels for him or anything. On page one you said that you think you liked the [b]idea[/b] of going out with him more than actually going out with him. This [b]doesn't[/b], by any means, make you a horrible person. Man, if it did, I think I'd be racking up points to hell by now. ;_;

I'll tell you my own story, since it's kinda similar to yours. I've only had one boyfriend so far (whom I broke up with after a month). When he asked me out I said yes, because I'd never been in a relationship before, and I thought it would be great. The thing was, I wasn't crazy about him. But I did it anyway, partially to 'experience' a relationship, and partially to please him, since I knew he'd liked me for a long time.

It was a big mistake for a lot of reasons that would take me about an hour to outline, but the one that's relevant to you is the fact that, because I didn't really like him, it was hard for me to be around him. I used to hate it when he put his arm around me while watching a movie. It was also the first time I'd ever kissed anyone, and the reason I did it was because... well, I felt obligated. I felt like he was such a nice guy to me, and he had done a lot for me (he was into gift giving. Expensive chocolate and CD mixes), so I kissed him. (And ended up brushing me teeth afterwards...)

It sounds to me like YOU feel obligated to hug him or kiss him when you don't really want to. You [i]shouldn't[/i] feel obligated to do anything, dear. Do only what you want and only what makes you feel comfortable. It sounds like you care a lot about his feeling, and giving to him, but you need to take care of yourself, and YOUR feelings, first and foremost. It's not a crime to think about yourself, I promise.

So the FIRST thing you need to decide is if you really like him or not. Do you like him for who he is, his personality, his character, or do you [i]only[/i] like the idea of him? If it's the second one, you need to break up with him. I realized I didn't like this guy, and I knew it wasn't fair for him, or to myself to be with him. Same thing. It's not fair to him, but it's not fair to yourself, either. There's no reason to make yourself miserable over a guy. Really!

If you do really like him, as in, you like him for himself, then talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. If he truly cares about you, he won't be bothered by your "lack of intimacy" if you explain it to him. And if he breaks up with you, he was a jerk anyway.[/color]

[Charles]

[QUOTE=Sojiro47]Nice!

Anyway, you have a point there. She can't get intimate with her boyfriend, and she she has a crush on a girl. But does that make her gay? Once upon a time, I had a crush on a boy, but I'm still very strait. Is it possible to have a crush on the same sex but still be strait?[/QUOTE]


Well, that's all very subjective. She could indeed be straight, but if she really wants to feel a sense of personal fulfillment, she's going to have to experiment and find out the truth for herself. If she finds that females aren't for her, then I was wrong but hopefully we get pics anyway.

And I'm not "ragging" on her MistressRoxie nor am I being a "jerk.". As much fun as I'm having with this, I have still made valid points that have not been contradicted. This is not simply a "love advice" thread. The original poster has not been dating her boyfriend long enough to "love" him. If I wasn't interested in helping her, I wouldn't have clicked on the thread to begin with. In short, lighten up and stop acting like it's impossible for people to be gay.

But like I said, if no one quotes me I won't really bother with providing any further input on the subject.

[Sojiro47]

[quote name='Charles']If she finds that females aren't for her, then I was wrong but hopefully we get pics anyway.[/quote]
Man, good ol' Tical would have loved to have been here. Alright, I'm not going to say any more about the gay subject. I think that you have a Valid point Charles. So I'm going to leave it here. Tho, I still think that your licking joke was funny.

[Lava Lamp]

[QUOTE=Sojiro47]
Anyway, you have a point there. She can't get intimate with her boyfriend, and she she has a crush on a girl. But does that make her gay? Once upon a time, I had a crush on a boy, but I'm still very strait. Is it possible to have a crush on the same sex but still be strait?[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][FONT=Tahoma]It's called "bisexual".[/FONT][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[QUOTE=Lonley Fighter]Lostvoice...don't listen to another word they say, there all just trying to see some girl on girl action and they'er quite persistant too.

I'm saying it again stop trying to turn her GAY!![/QUOTE]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]You're such a SNAG. No one's fooled! We all know you just want a piece of the lostvoice action for yourself, but - as thousands of sitcoms have taught us - the nice guy never gets the girl. I'm sorry kid, better luck next time.[/font][/color][/size]

[Sojiro47]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]You're such a SNAG. No one's fooled! We all know you just want a piece of the lostvoice action for yourself, but - as thousands of sitcoms have taught us - the nice guy never gets the girl. I'm sorry kid, better luck next time.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]
I don't know...I'm a fairly nice guy, and I got the girl. I think your theory is flawed Dead.

[Ol' Fighter]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]You're such a SNAG. No one's fooled! We all know you just want a piece of the lostvoice action for yourself, but - as thousands of sitcoms have taught us - the nice guy never gets the girl. I'm sorry kid, better luck next time.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]

No you figured me out....

Just kidding, I honestly can't be called the nice guy becasue to put it simply I'm not to nice and majority of the girls I've been with have called me a superficial bastard and the girl I'm going with currently reminds me everyday how shallow I am.

And to add I'm just being a friend okay.

And Sojiro47..for your own sake...stop admitting carp.

[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='Sojiro47']I don't know...I'm a fairly nice guy, and I got the girl. I think your theory is flawed Dead.[/quote]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]TV doesn't lie. You're obviously an arsehole.[/font][/color][/size]

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]Charles (and sojiro47, DeadSeraphim as well) : If you really wanted to help lost voice, you'd be asking her these questions directly and [i]waiting[/i] for an answer instead of discussing her sexuality like a bunch of horny teenage boys. If you want to do that, then do it on your own time, not in an advice thread. Because really, what advice have you given her at all?

If you really want to help, wait for her answer before you continue the conversation. None of you have been respectful about it at all, making jokes, jumping to conclusions, [i]not waiting for her answers[/i]. And the thing is, all of you know it's spam. Weren't you just making bets on how long this thread would last?

Lostvoice deserves to get advice and have her questions answered, not to be the subject of a rediculous debate. If you aren't interested in helping her, then get out of this thread.

I'm also aware that some of you really are interested in helping, and were only asking if she was gay in an attempt to help her sort out issues. I DO understand that, and that's acceptable - but then why are you joking around about it? Be mature.


And lostvoice, I do apologize for talking over you, and I hope you're not upset at me. However, I felt these people needed to have [i]something[/i] said to them.[/color]

[DeadSeraphim]

[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Excuse me? When I was addressing lostvoice, I had a conversation with her proper. A fun, joke-y conversation, sure, but a conversation nonetheless. It's pretty obvious that most people in this thread are joking around and not serious, and lostvoice herself hasn't got a big problem with it, so maybe you shouldn't speak for her in future.[/font][/color][/size]

[Fasteriskhead]

[SIZE=1]How interesting. A very serious question about love, the confusion of personal relationships, and what obligations a person owes to their significant other has now been sidetracked into a debate over whether the one who asked this question in interested in lesbian sex (and possibly documenting it, so that the boards as a whole can "verb the noun"). Never mind whether lostvoice leans that way; the question of "intimacy" has entirely dropped off. This is an invaluable rhetorical lesson for me: I now know that if I ever want to avoid addressing a question, all I have to do is pile a mass of lesbians on top and soon people will stop caring.

As long as we're bringing up Freud, or at least something like him (forgive me if I seriously doubt whether any of the major participants in this thread have read more than 20 pages of Herr Doctor), we could also ask a different kind of question. We could ask, for instance, why it is that in asking questions about what love is, how we know that we're in love, how we should do justice to another person, and why we find it so difficult to be "intimate" with others, that we find these questions basically unappealing (or worse, "emo"). We could ask why it is that we find a discussion about lesbian sexuality, with no concern whatsoever as to actual [i]love[/i], so much more interesting. We could ask why we'd rather not approach these emotionally messy issues, and would instead hop straight over to the much funnier and more sexually appealing topic of girls kissing/licking one another (which requires absolutely no investment of meaning on our part). Or to sum up, we could put some thought into why the basic [i]phenomenon[/i] of love (whether repressed or not, whether of one gender or another) is to be shoved aside in favor of scoring, getting girls, secret urges towards gayness, and hot hot pixxx of chicks making out.

Do I think this kind of consideration is going to happen? No, not at all, this is the internet for God's sake. Love is never a serious and enduring question here; all interaction happens through a pane of glass.[/SIZE]

[Charles]

[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Excuse me? When I was addressing lostvoice, I had a conversation with her proper. A fun, joke-y conversation, sure, but a conversation nonetheless. It's pretty obvious that most people in this thread are joking around and not serious, and lostvoice herself hasn't got a big problem with it, so maybe you shouldn't speak for her in future.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]

Agreed.

First of all, I never made a bet as to when this thread was going to get closed; if I felt that it should have been closed, I kinda woulda sorta closed it myself.

Secondly, I [B]am[/B] waiting for an answer, which is why I said I would stop discussing the subject until I was quoted again (perhaps by lostvoice). Most of my recent posts have been simply in jest, or to defend my point against attack.

I just find it a little offensive when I come into a thread, offer advice and then someone comes in preaching, telling me that I have contributed nothing to the discussion. If I want to joke and have a good time in the thread to lighten the mood, then I don't see why I shouldn't be able to. The topic itself is kind of morose, so I'm attempting to provide some levity and judging from lostvoice's replies, I don't think I've hurt her. None of us are psychologists and OtakuBoards is meant to provide fun; so we should be able to discuss serious problems in a fun way.

Basically, I think you're making a big issue out of nothing and I'm going to have to ask you to remain on topic from now on instead of playing moderator. Thanks.

That also goes to all of you who are betting when the thread will be closed; that alone is ignorant and annoying. I don't want to see it anymore.

[eleanor]

[quote name='lostvoice']But if I was a guy it'd be different, wouldn't it? Why is that? It's ok if your a gay female but a gay male isn't accepted around other males?[/quote]

[color=dimgray]And so the slash fandom was born. :D

So how old are you, anyway?[/color]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

I'm even more lost than before. Now I'm swimming in more questions and am caught in a web of utter confusion. Besides it's kinda fun since everyone is always coming up witha new point. They are indeed helping me since I've honestly never been to sure of my sexual identity. You should all losen up and stop acting like a bunch of perverted pigs and Stop being so defensive of me. I can handle myself. Besides if I were sure of my sexuality I would've shun the idea of homosexuality.

[Ol' Fighter]

Lostvoice I and a few others have bravely fought for you but you see people now question what your sexuality is...why, I haven't a clue...

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

[quote name='Lonley Fighter']Lostvoice I and a few others have bravely fought for you but you see people now question what your sexuality is...why, I haven't a clue...[/quote]


Look up. I'm not even quite sure. I've never really been all that sure.

[Ikillion]

[color=#d2b43b][SIZE=1][FONT=Trebuchet MS][quote name='lostvoice']I'm even more lost than before. Now I'm swimming in more questions and am caught in a web of utter confusion.[/quote]

Welcome to the Real World =D

On par to what the thread is about though I think the best thing to do is just use moral judgement if its too much for you then just say so.

He's only one out of a billion or more men on the world anyways[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='Lonley Fighter']Lostvoice I and a few others have bravely fought for you but you see people now question what your sexuality is...why, I haven't a clue...[/quote]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial][indent][b]joke /dʒoʊk/[/b]
[i]?noun[/i]
something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.[/indent][/font][/color][/size]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

Very good. :rolleyes:

[Ol' Fighter]

[QUOTE=DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial][indent][b]joke /dʒoʊk/[/b]
[i]?noun[/i]
something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.[/indent][/font][/color][/size][/QUOTE]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I guess I am a little too defensive of others though especially ones I consider friends, but yeah sorry about that DeadSeraphim and lostvoice and whoever else I offended. T_T

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

[quote name='Lonley Fighter']Sorry, sorry, sorry, I guess I am a little too defensive of others though especially ones I consider friends, but yeah sorry about that DeadSeraphim and lostvoice and whoever else I offended. T_T[/quote]

Don't be sorry. You were trying to help. I can, however, handle myself. I do thank you and the rest of my defenders for taking me under your wings, though.

[The13thMan]

[QUOTE=Charles] Most of my recent posts have been simply in jest, or to defend my point against attack.

[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]My oh my, i've read all of your posts and let me just say, hilarious stuff. I actually laughed out loud, that's a rare occurence from OB! Ahh...really funny stuff. I think from now on i'll pay more attention to your posts simply in the hope of getting a good laugh out of the subject.

As for this whole thing...i say just kiss the guy. You're making it into a bigger deal than it is. A kiss isn't that big of a deal. Just two people coming together to show a little affection by sucking face for a second or two. Really though, i say just go for it and see how you like it.

If i were you i would simply tell him that you are determined to work up the courage to kiss him by the end of the day. If he were really the witty and patient fellow you claim he is then he'd totally understand that and probably even like you more for your straightforwardness. And he'd probably help you with it too.

Go for it.
[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Cicatrice Du Adieu]

It's alot more difficult than you think! It's my [I]firs[/I]t kiss. I imagined it to fit my most fond fantasies so straying from those dreams is difficult.