Senor Ding Dong Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Okay, not completely destroys here, but there is this girl i like. However, a common problem has arisen for me. I'm stuck in the friend zone. Since it's almost christmas time, i did get her something. Invader zim t shirt + whole series on DVD. I haven't given it to her yet though because i'm condsidering writing her a poem. I could do that easily. But if i give it to her, would it push her further away and would i be screwed? Or would it help me get out of this box labeled "friend" faster? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadSeraphim Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 [size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]If she considers you a friend, that's a pretty huge gift for just a friend. Just a t-shirt would be understandable from a friend perspective, but the entire series on DVD? That'll make your feelings known for sure, but it's likely to backfire; either because she'll find it excessive for someone who isn't even dating them, or because they'll feel guilty they can't give you anything of that magnitude in return. Presents don't win hearts, unless they're shallow. A poem might help, but if she considers you a friend, it might just weird her out (if the entire dvd boxset of Invader Zim already). Why don't you just talk to her?[/font][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachmaninoff Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 I feel your pain my friend and I am in agreement with DeadSeraphim, the present you have in mind is already far more than what a mere friend would give. Adding a poem to it is a bit of an overkill and likely to weird her out and push her away from you. I?d stick to either the shirt or the series on DVD, though the shirt is a better present to get from a friend, as the entire series on DVD is more substantial and something one would expect from a boyfriend. I?d save the poem to go along with flowers or chocolates on Valentines day as such a gift is more fitting for that type of holiday. ;) I can understand that you would love to be more than just friends, but unless she desires it, that?s just not going to happen. Again I agree with DeadSeraphim, try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. For all you know she might actually like you and is under the impression that it is you who is only interested in just being friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venge Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 [quote name='Rachmaninoff']I can understand that you would love to be more than just friends, but unless she desires it, that?s just not going to happen. Again I agree with DeadSeraphim, try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. For all you know she might actually like you and is under the impression that it is you who is only interested in just being friends.[/quote] >_< That never worked for me. Although I do have the worst luck in the world...but ANYWAYS!... If you still feel like giving her the t-shirt & DVD set, there is ONE way it can fall through without backfiring, but it requires that you have been friends with her for at least 4 months or more. When you present it to her, just tell her it's because she's such a great friend to you. There is a good chance she'll smile and almost either tackle you with a hug, or just hug you. Afterwards, you ask her if she has anything to do later taht afternoon/evening, and you ask if she'd like to go for a walk or something...thats where you stop her somewhere private and tell her how you feel. Don't make it overly dramatic or anything, just tell her you like her for more than just a friend. Now, there are 3 possible scenarios... 1). She says she likes you for more than a friend as well. This is where you tell her it's her decision. If she decides to date you, then go you. ^_^ If she still wants to see how your friendship goes...>_<...this is a toughy...usually another guy comes along flashing his good looks and money, winning her over. For THAT scenario, you will think of something. 2). She says she just thinks of you as a friend. Maybe something will develop in the future, maybe not. Just know that you told her how you feel. Thats all you can do. Don't be all mopy and depressed because she said no, but be happy that you told her. But before she goes to leave, one thing you should say to her is this: "I'll always be there for you, okay?" I treat all my friends with that respect and it works out fine with me. 3). This scenario is probably the most obvious and the least likely to happen. She screams in your face/slaps your face and runs off, never speaking to you again, spreading rumors that your very being causes mental seizures. >_< THAT is what usually happened to me. Well, good luck my friend. I'm not god on the whole 'relationship' thing, cause I'm only in my second one. But you'll know what to do when the time is right dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachmaninoff Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 [quote name='Venge']>_< That never worked for me. Although I do have the worst luck in the world...but ANYWAYS!...[/quote]Well...it never works for me either. But I'd rather know than continue to pine over a girl who in the end has no interest in me. But still, you never know right? And even then at that point at least she knows you like her in that way and though perhaps she might think she would never think of you in that way; at least you've opened it for a down the road she might do a double take and re-consider moment. In the end all I can do is wish you the best of luck in moving up the list from friend to potential special someone. ;) I'd still go with a more simple gift and a chat with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senor Ding Dong Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 I was planning on just getting her the t-shirt, but i saw the whole series for $20 and it was too perfect to pass up. I'm fairly sure she knows i like her because she has common sense and it doesn't take a fair deal to see that i do. I think she considers me her best friend, also. She hugs me regularly anyway. I talk to her every chance i get, which is usually to one class and at the end of the day. "Adding a poem to it is a bit of an overkill and likely to weird her out and push her away from you." This is why i asked. But she knows me well enough and considers me one of her greatest friends, at least. I have attempted to ask her out on several occasions, only to have it be foiled by some other plan with her family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 [COLOR=Red]If you got her the series at such a good price, then by all means stick to giving it to her. And if she says anything, based on what you just said, tell her you wanted her to know how much her friendship means to you. Then it becomes a present to the person you consider your best friend in the whole world and not just a simple friend gift. And greatest friends often end up dating, or so I?ve noticed among the adults I know. ^_~ I agree with what Rachmaninoff was saying about the poem, I?d definitely save it for Valentines day, because then it would fit perfectly with some flowers or chocolates and it wouldn?t be weird because that?s what Valentines is all about. ^_^ Also, if the plans to go out are genuinely being foiled by her family and aren?t an excuse, just keep trying, unless it?s happened far too many times. In which case she may be allowing the family to interfere. Some people are like that, even if they want to go out or do things, they let other stuff interfere all the time. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senor Ding Dong Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 So i gave the girl i like the present. She *loved* it. She said "Thank you so much" more times than i can count, and "I'm so happy i could kiss you!" then she does... Is that a good indicator that i just pole vaulted the hell out of the Friend zone or what? [COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1][INDENT]Since this is the same topic, I've merged the threads together. It just makes it easier for members to keep track of what's going on if it's not separated into several threads. ~indifference[/INDENT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadSeraphim Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 [size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]What kind of kiss?[/font][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G/S/B Master Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Well, you probably should've said, "I love you" at that moment. She still considers you as a friend because you didn't ask her out and she considers this as a Christmas present. You probably spoiled your chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retribution Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 [quote name='G/S/B Master']Well, you probably should've said, "I love you" at that moment.[/quote] [size=1]Wrong. Don't say "I love you" in a bout of passion or lust. Say it when you really mean it.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheResplendent Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 [quote name='Retribution][size=1']Wrong. Don't say "I love you" in a bout of passion or lust. Say it when you really mean it.[/size][/quote] [font=tahoma]Lol, this can't be stressed enough. But in any case. What kind of kiss it was is the question here. It's part of a lot of girl's personality to be that friendly with their guy friends. I've had kisses from plenty of girls out of friendship, cheek and lips. It's the same with the actual term "I Love You". It's thrown around so much nowadays it's difficult to pin point an actual time to say it in order to emphasize it's true meaning. Though I can't say for sure, since I don't know where you live...but the situation probably isn't as complicated as you think. Also what kind of gift was it? A diamond necklace? Or a DVD? The style of gift is sure to depict what her reaction was probably more geared toward as well. There's a lot missing from the equation, let's put it like that. If it was a long passionate type of kiss or something of that nature, then there's probably more to it then just a friendly kiss, but anything from a short peck to a cheek kiss dosn't have to always mean a change in atmosphere between friends and more.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senor Ding Dong Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 It was in between the cheek/lips, so i'd say cheek, or she has bad aim. I would have asked her out if i was talking to just her. That, and i just found out after she left that there's a dance, and i was gonna ask her to it this morning. Good idea or bad? It was an Invader Zim T-shirt and Series on DVD. She loves IZ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retribution Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 [quote name='Senor Ding Dong']I would have asked her out if i was talking to just her. That, and i just found out after she left that there's a dance, and i was gonna ask her to it this morning. Good idea or bad?[/quote] [size=1]We can't really hold your hand every step of the way. There's just way too much information we're missing to make a good judgment on how she feels and how you should respond. Things like the amount of time you've known her, how she typically acts around guys, if you two talk on the phone, (and countless other details) we just don't have. Personally, I'd say take it slow and don't ask her out to this dance. It sounds like you're taking it a bit too fast, but again, that judgment is based off of very little.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissWem Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 [quote name='Retribution][size=1']We can't really hold your hand every step of the way. [/size][/quote] [COLOR=DarkRed][FONT=Arial]Can you imagine that? -Senor Ding Dong goes to ask her to the dance -Chick hesitates. -Senor Ding Dong says: "Wait wait, hold that thought, I'll be right back." Goes to the computer and asks us what he should do now because she's hesistating. .... I'm sure it could get worse.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NIKI12345 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 [QUOTE=Senor Ding Dong]Okay, not completely destroys here, but there is this girl i like. However, a common problem has arisen for me. I'm stuck in the friend zone. Since it's almost christmas time, i did get her something. Invader zim t shirt + whole series on DVD. I haven't given it to her yet though because i'm condsidering writing her a poem. I could do that easily. But if i give it to her, would it push her further away and would i be screwed? Or would it help me get out of this box labeled "friend" faster?[/QUOTE] Well you will never know until you try. So think of it this way you get accepted or rejected. You might come a little strong with those gifts and she has a good chance of knowing that you like her when you give her the poem. Like I said just give her the gifts. Remember accepted or rejected!!!! :animeswea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horendithas Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 [COLOR=DarkRed]NIKI12345, he already gave her the gift as you can see here:[QUOTE=Senor Ding Dong]So i gave the girl i like the present. She *loved* it. She said "Thank you so much" more times than i can count, and "I'm so happy i could kiss you!" then she does... Is that a good indicator that i just pole vaulted the hell out of the Friend zone or what? [/QUOTE]So now the question is did that indeed move him out of the friend zone. Or are they still stuck in the phase of just being friends. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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