Writing The Hit [M-V/L/Drugs]

[Zen]

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A [b]Boss[/b] Production









[b]Chapter 1:[/b] Wake-Up Service[/center]


I woke up to the sound of a gun cocking. A shiny, Browning 9mm.Hi-Power right in my face. All I could do is think to myself [i]Nice…[/i]. I looked past the barrel of the gun to see the face of a young woman. Her face was stern, almost without emotion, save a slight hint of regret being suppressed. Brown hair tied back, brown eyes looking at mine. It was Vicky.

[b] “I’m sorry, but the money is too good to pass up.”[/b] That’s what she said in an almost casual voice before she fired a round at my face as I quickly jerked my head to the side and gripped the wrist holding the gun. I pulled Vicky forward, pushing my elbow into her solar plexus before rolling off my bed and disarming her. I quickly put her in my sights and fired without hesitating. I still missed. She was on me already, stabbing me in the side with some god-forsaken knife before I could even react.

She began the motions to rip out my stomach, but I quickly jumped off the blade and ran into the living room of the hotel suite. She followed me quickly with the blade of what had to be a wakizashi glistening in the moon light coming in from the window. [i] The window! [/i] I thought. I quickly positioned myself with Vicky between me and the large, 13th story window. It was dark, all I could see was her dark silhouette in the moon-lit night. This would have to work.


[b] “You shoulda known better, Vick.”[/b] I said arrogantly, trying to distract her attention momentarily. I raised the Browning and emptied the clip all around Vicky, cracking the window all over. Vick quickly backed up, crouching over to make herself a smaller target. Her back was pressed against the window, just as I had planned.

Realizing I had missed her, Vicky raised her head with a smirk and laughed at me. [b] “Nice shootin’, tex…”[/b] she said with a characteristic sarcasm. The wakizashi was lowered, this was my chance. With a deep growl, I ran and spun into a spinning back kick, pushing my heel deep into her chest. With a parting scream of surprise, Vicky flew out of the window. I watched her fall for a few moments before the wakizashi came flying back up at me, almost going through my chin. The blade nicked my nose and stuck in the window seal above my head. [b] “Shit.”[/b] was all I could say.

Exhausted, I fell back a few steps and slumped down onto the couch. I looked down at the rather deep stab wound in my belly and swore. There was blood all over the place, particularly on my legs and underwear. I swore again. I slowly rose and stumbled into the bedroom and looked through my supply case, a large, silver brief case which held my scarce medical supplies. I looked through the supply and found some disinfectant and my stitching kit. I lay back against the bed and gritted my teeth as I rubbed the disinfectant onto my wound. [i] This isn’t worth it…[/i] I started to think to myself. Then I looked at the information sheet pinned to the wall. The shadowy picture of a hooded man on it, only his lower face visible. The single name, James, which captioned the bottom. And the hefty $13,000,000 dollar bounty attached to it. [i] But it will be.[/i].

I had to be quick stitching myself up. Security, and possibly the cops, would be here soon. I steadied my hand mentally as I ran the needle through my flesh. I finished quickly, bandaged myself up, got dressed and began gathering my things. I heard a knock at the door, and it wasn’t room service.

[b] “Sir! Sir! Someone has reported a disturbance coming from this room! Please open the door sir!”[/b] an urgent female voice yelled through the door. I heard the sound of heavy foot steps around her. Big fellows. I strapped my backpack on tight and left the medical case. Grabbing my odachi*, I walked out to the balcony and looked down the long drop. I shook my head, put the odachi between my back and the back pack, and hopped over the bars, grabbing the ledge. I hung and looked down to the next floor’s balcony. Timing would be everything.

I let go, and missed. I started screaming. I missed again, and I kept screaming. Then I got lucky as I grabbed hold of a metal bar-guard and hung. My shoulder felt like it had dislocated, but it hadn’t. I got lucky, after all. I climbed over the bars and looked into the room. It looked empty. I walked in slowly and then found out it wasn’t, the sound of sex coming from the bedroom. I tiptoed over to the door and let myself out just as one of the participants apparently climaxed. I laughed to myself at the ridiculous sound.

I tried to keep a low profile walking through the halls, pushing my sword down further so the hilt was less visible. I jogged to the stair case and hurried down. As I exited the hotel, the door man gave me a kind, [b] “Have a good night, sir!”[/b]. I was back on the streets of Otaku City.

I needed somewhere to stay. But where could I? With all the assassins looking for the bounty on that sad motherfucker James’ head, I’d have to watch my back just as much as him. After all, first place is the only winner; there would be no prize for second place. Roughly a dozen assassins out for the same guy, working against each other. I don’t know who came up with that brilliant plan, but they obviously wanted the job done in the worst way possible. Hell, he (or she) even got me scratching for the cash.

I don’t know about everyone else, but three million is enough to buy me for about anything…

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Aye, I have created another one of those dreadful OB fanfics, but I hope to set mine apart from the rest. In the shadowy underbelly of the Otaku City, someone wants a dark figure named James dead. Instead of contracting a single assassin, this person put out an open bounty for his head. Some of Otaku City’s most insidious characters have replied to this call. All of them want the enormous bounty, but only one will get it. Many of the assassins have resolved to kill one another to ensure the prize for themselves. General chaos rules the streets of Otaku City now, as these ruthless killers, assassins, and warriors attack one another at every possible chance.

What is the objective of the shadowy contractor of James’ death? Who will get the money? And who is this dark figure, James?


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[color=darkred][b][u]Characters to Look Out For[/u][/b][/color]

The Boss (myself/narrator)
Ezekiel
White
Retribution
Dragon Warrior
Peanut
di.fm
Tex (Annie)
Gavin
JJ
Jokopoko
Sakura
Redemption
Revelation
Vicky (?)
James
Charles
Desbreko[/center]



Give me some comments people.



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*
[b]Odachi[/b]: a Japanese sword with a blade slighter longer than a Katana’s and a handle almost as long as the blade itself.

[b]Wakizashi[/b]: a Japanese short-sword, usually used as a side arm or in ceremony.[/size][/color]

[Ellerby]

[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Now, before all the OB Fanfic-haters come in and start whining, I'd like to post something positive.

I like it! There hasn't been a decent story around the Anthology for a while now, especially not a modern (?) day one, and it's a welcomed change. I look forward to the next chapter (that's how I know if I like it or not, you know).

It's very dark, which is great. You're also including a lot of members from OB, which is also great. I think it's good with these fanfics to not revolve the whole story around one person but a whole bunch of people. Even though the story is told by Boss, you can still do that well.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Zen]

[size=1]Thanks for the comment you guys (White). *whines* Anyways. Here's the second chapter. Do enjoy. Hopefully I'll pick up some attention soon.

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[center][b]Chapter 2:[/b] Story Time[/center]



I walked down the brightly lit main street, trying my best not to bleed to death. This is because, unfortunately, I?m no doctor. I attempted to disguise the blood by hiking my camo-patterern hooded-jacket over the wet, crimson area of the black Under-Armor t-shirt I was wearing. I knew that I?d have to find a place to lay myself up at until I stopped bleeding. It was a shame that most of the people I knew in the city either hated me, or just didn?t want me around. Most of those whom I?d consider friends were ?contractors? themselves, and I didn?t trust our friendship to hold up in the shadow of a mountain of cash.

That left only one guy, DW. He?d probably hate me for it, but he was my only choice. And lucky for me, he lived only a couple blocks down the street. I put my hood on and hoped that no one would see the large sword hanging off my back in the darkness. I avoided the street lights and started considering other weapons choices as I made my journey. Most of the people hanging around the streets were either horny college kids out to party or dealers still grinding to get a buck. Neither was known to ask questions.

In the distance I could see DW?s big, swanky condominium. He lived on the 4th floor with his lady-friend (who happened to be one of those people who hate me), whom he?d only allow me to call Peanut. I was never sure why. But then again, DW was a strange guy. A rich strange guy, granted. But still, I couldn?t understand how such a weirdo ever got the ?trust? or respect of the people he did business with. His racket was illegal arms dealing. He could get you any gun you needed, from anywhere, with any kind of ammunition, stock, attachment, site, silencer, you name, he could get it. He once told me about how some guy he sold an RPG demolished a city block in ten minutes, alone.

But much to DW?s chagrin, I wasn?t a customer of his. I met him when I was still in college. We were both Theatre majors. We also shared a minor in business. Guess which ones panned out for us? It?d been about a month since we last spoke, but I didn?t have time for greetings.

I approached the large building and buzzed his room. I waited and noticed that the blood was beginning to stain my jeans, the jeans I spent quite a bit of money on. I buzzed him again.

[b] ?What! What do you want!??[/b] came a highly aggravated, somewhat cracked voice.

[b] ?Let me in? I?m calling in a favor.?[/b] I said in between coughs.

I heard a sigh from the other end of the com. [b] ?Damn it??[/b] then the door gave a slight humming sound and unlocked. I struggled my way up the stairs and cursed God and DW for choosing such a high floor to live on. I knocked and was answered by DW dressed in about nothing more than a Fedora hat and a silk robe, [b] ?You just had to come to m-?.?[/b] he stopped speaking as he looked at my waist and the blood drenching my right side. [b] ?Jesus, what happened to [i]you[/i]??[/b]

[b] ?I?m starting to wish I chose a job with health benefi-.?[/b] I dropped unconscious into the door way before I could finish my little quip. I woke up what I think was four or five hours later. My bandages had been changed and some kind of salve was stinking me up.

I looked around the room and was slightly annoyed by my luxurious surroundings, particularly the leather couch I awoke on. DW must have been rolling in it. For a second I thought he literally was as his light green robe shined in sunlight coming in from a panoramic window. He sat in a matching leather arm chair, looking at me as I woke up.

Then I heard that voice. [b] ?You?re alive. I don?t know whether to be happy or pissed??[/b] I looked over another chair in the room. It was Peanut, that feisty red-head. I?m not sure if the look she was giving me was either disgusted or pissed. Either way, her eyes were shooting daggers at me. She was dressed in a matching robe to DW?s.[b] ?So when are you gonna leave??[/b] she was tapping her foot as she spoke in an angry tone.

Before I could answer, DW spoke out, [b] ?It was another hitman, wasn?t it??[/b] his expression was inquisitive. Something that most people didn?t see.

I cleared my dry throat. [b] ?Hitwoman, more like.?[/b] I said in a croaky baritone. [b] ?Almost blew my face off with a piece that I?m almost certain came from you.?[/b]

[b] ?Really now??[/b] he said, interested with a raised eyebrow.

[b] ?Brunette, young one. Had a Browning Hi-Power up my nose. Vicky was her name.?[/b] I replied.

[b] ?Was? You mean you??[/b] he crossed his throat with his thumb.

[b] ?I don?t know. Last time I saw her she was falling out a thirteen story window.?[/b] I smirked to myself. I had to admit, I was proud of myself. But then again, I hoped that Vicky had survived the fall. We had been acquaintances before the contract came out. She was a lively one. My conscience wished she was alive. After all, I was an assassin, not a murderer.

[b] ?Jeez, this James contract is really fucking with my business. That?s the second customer I?ve lost to one of you psychos.?[/b] He placed his hand over his eyes and massaged them.

[b] ?Who was the first one??[/b]

DW looked up to me as Peanut passed by. [b] ?I?m getting some coffee, you want some hon??[/b] she asked him.

[b] ?Sure, babe.?[/b] he replied. Peanut gave me a nasty look and walked out of the room. [b] ?Four of them. I heard it was four of them. Two vs. Two I hear. They were looking for info on James. By chance, the two pairs of ?em checked this titi bar in the red-light district owned by a mob boss. A high paying customer, this guy liked to keep his boys armed to the teeth. Some shit happened where one pair, one of them a young looking black kid, the other some goofy looking blonde, asked one of the better known lieutenants about James. The other pair heard them asking.?[/b] he breathed out a deep sigh.

[b] ?And???[/b] I pushed for an answer. I needed some info on this stuff, for obvious reasons. Last thing I needed was surprises, which I had lots of.

[b] ?Alright? the other pair, some crazy woman with an even crazier guy, they pulled out mad guns. I mean, talk about armed to the teeth, they were strapped head to toe. They started unloading on the white-black pair. That?s really all I know. Some fire fight ensued and the entire bar was leveled. The mob boss was upstairs and caught a fifty caliber round in between the eyes some how.?[/b]

[b] ?What happened to the assassins??[/b] I was becoming anxious.

[b] ?I don?t know. No one has seen any of them since the shit happened. They?re probably still out there??[/b]

[b] ?Damn. They couldn?t have just killed each other, huh??[/b]

[b] ?Exactly! And the worst part is, they haven?t come to me for ammo!?[/b] he said in a very sincere voice.

I shook my head. [b] ?You really only care about money, don?t you??[/b]

[b] ?DW! Get your ass in here!?[/b] Peanut?s voice roared from the kitchen.

[b] ?? yeah, and that sweet thing in there.?[/b] he said as he departed the room quickly.

I sat up on the couch and looked out the window, onto the bustling Otaku City. I knew the guys DW was talking about. The black and white ones were a couple of gun slinging kids who went by White and Retribution. The other ones were legends. A kind of Bonnie and Clyde duo, Joe* and Annie*. Joe was a particularly terrifying person to hear about. It was a rumor that he did his business with a pair of SIG 552?s* in each hand.

I was beginning to have second thoughts about this job?[/color]

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*Joe = di.fm
*Annie = Tex

*SIG 552 is a modified NATO-issued assault rifle.[/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

[size=1]Interesting work, mate. Being an Otaku Parody writer myself, I have nothing against people writing fanfics, as long as they're done well. You aren't doing too bad at all. The story is thick, well set, and has the solid pillars to keep it up. You definitely have an imagination for mobs and stuff. Naturally, I don't like it simply because I'm in it. As I said, the story is good and the characters are gripping. I await to see Joe and Annie in action (why do I think of the White Stripes with them? I have no idea). There's definitely a positive future for this.

Now I will come down on you for the sake of constructive critiques. You have a tendency to write out sentences that are in a way almost rambling. They're on the verge of run-on sentences. Not to sound mean or anything. I'll throw an example out.[/size]
[indent]"She followed me quickly with the blade of what had to be a wakizashi glistening in the moon light coming in from the window."[/indent]
[size=1]Now, see, good description. Your description is great and that's what makes your writing strong. But don't try to fit too much into one sentence. Read that sentence out loud and you can see how it kind of comes off oddly. Didn't it seem to drag on? You can easily split that sentence up. "She followed me quickly with the blade of what had to be a wakizashi. It waved around as she darted, the sword edge glistening in the moonlight from the window." That's simply an example, of course and most certainly not the best of writing, but it's there. That's just the point I'm trying to make.

You're doing very well. I'm intrigued to see more. As I already said, I wanna see Joe and Annie in action. And, of course, myself doing what I do. Carry on![/size]

[Sakura]

[COLOR=Navy]Heh, well I don't usually hang around the Antho, let alone make comments because usually I can't think of anything to say.

But yeah, I've read quite a few of the OB Parodies people have posted and this is looking to have a lot of potential. Right now I really like it, but it will become more clear as the story advances and as the characters develop. For a dark fic it's good, and is a relatively new idea since I don't really remember any fics being about a whole load of contractors after James, though I may be wrong about that.

Like DW said, your description is great and is one of the things that draws me to your story, because good description helps you to really get in there and pretend that you can see the events. I think another thing I like about it are the chapter titles. I dunno, it's weird but they relate to the chapter, while sounding funny in a way.

Anyway, it's going great so keep up the good work ^_~ And can't wait to see my appearance =P.[/COLOR]

[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]My god you got this up fast, considering we were only talking about it last night. I think I'm glad you went for this idea in the end, because it really has been done well. I'm happy to see that you're focussing more on the interraction and plot so far rather than bloody, drawn out fight scenes with lots of gore and violence.

I'm also impressed by how you use real names for weapons, which makes it seem as if you really know what you're doing. It's aways moe interesting than 'She pulled out a gun'.

I'm excited to see where this is going, and like Sakura I look forward to my appearance~[/SIZE]

[Veritas]

[size=1][color=gray]What I've read so far I really like, reminds me of a OB version of Sin City or Kill Bill. Your writing is very strong and you use alot of detail which I like. I do agree with DW some of the sentences seem too full of description, that you might want to break apart. The thing I noticed was that occasionally there are sentences just short of a fragment. They could easily combined with another sentence for a better flow my opinion. Especially since there is alot of narration from your character.[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=#8b0000][color=gray][quote name='The Boss][/color][size=1][color=#8b0000]I was never sure why. But then again, DW was a strange guy.[/color][/size][/color'][color=gray][/quote] [/color][/size]

[size=1][color=gray]Example, "I was never sure why, but then again DW was a strange guy." Though it all comese down to personal writing style really. I don't have much room to talk though, you're doing a Class A act compaired to anything I could come up with.[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=gray]Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading.[/color][/size]

[Zen]

[size=1]

Thank you much for the compliments you guys. I'll try to work on my short comings. Here's chapter 3. It's more of a set up than anything, but I think the character intro is cool. Here we go.


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[center][b]Chapter 3:[/b] Dear God, It?s Me Again?[/center]




After a bit of self reflection and listening to Peanut give DW the business, I decided to leave. I picked up the stationary laying on the coffee table and wrote DW a thank you note after dressing myself. I needed new clothes, badly. With the exception of my jacket and shoes, all my clothes were drenched in my blood. As I left the building, I zipped my jacket up and tried to straighten it over the bloody area of my pants. I would have to walk to the closest market district with a low profile. It was daylight, and if my assumptions were correct, heat might be on my tail from last night. Luckily, I could hide most of my sword beneath my jacket, and the shops for the rich and famous in this area couldn?t have been too far away.

Not many people were on the streets, it was a work day. Even traffic police seemed sparse today. I met eyes with the occasional Stepford wife holding bags and yapping away on a cell phone, but they were too stuck up to give me any notice. I spotted a nice, discreet male clothing store and made my way towards it, tossing my bag and sword on top it?s awning before I entered. I spent about ten minutes shopping and about $100 dollars on a single outfit. If I wasn?t so vain, I?d probably have been pissed at myself for dropping that much cash on a pair of camo-pants and black t-shirt. I exited quickly with a ?Peace out? from the teenage clerk.

As I stepped out, my body suddenly froze. Something wasn?t right. I tried to stay looking casual. I didn?t shift my eyes. I just listened. I smelled the air. I felt the wind on my face and hands.

Suddenly a rich, Irish voice spoke out, nearly making me jump out of my skin. [b] ?Interesting? Most interesting.?[/b] My eyes slowly edged over to the right, and there I saw the imposing figure of a large man. He was dressed in what seemed like a cross between a business suit and priest's uniform. His figure was darkened by what appeared to be a replica-crucifix leaned against the wall behind him. Combed black hair shined in the sunlight silhouetting the crucifix. His face was turned down, examining something in his hands. I looked down to see my odachi held in his hands delicately.

[b] ?Wh-who the hell are you???[/b] I stammered. I already knew the answer. The clothes, the cross behind him. This was another one of those bogeymen in the underworld of assassins. Most called him ?The Crusader?, but?

[b] ?I am called Gavin.?[/b] he pronounced proudly as he raised his head to look into my face. His was adorned with small battle scares scattered here and there. His right brown eye had a particularly interesting crescent scar coming from its corner. He was a sharp-featured fellow, which only increased his ability to intimidate me effortlessly. [b] ?You have an interesting weapon, friend. I take it you are a ?contractor?? That is what your type likes to be called, correct??[/b]

I swallowed hard and gathered my guts mentally. [b] ?What about it??[/b] I growled with a snarl. I wasn?t going to let this guy get the best of me.

He gripped the sword at its middle and thrust it out sideways with his hand, arm fully extended. [b] ?I regret to inform you of this, but God?s work must be done.?[/b] He dropped my sword, forcing me to catch it quickly. Before I could regain myself, the sound of a gun cocking, something heavy and mean brought my face darting up towards Gavin?s.

[i]Where the hell did that gun come from?![/i] raced through my mind. Less than a second ago, his hands where filled with my sword. [i]What is this guy?[/i]

[b] ?I request your presence at the Waterfront Gardens tonight, at the strike of midnight. If you do not comply, I shall follow you. The moment you are off guard, I will end your life.?[/b] he glared directly into my eyes, sending terrible chills down my spine. [b] ?I offer you the chance to fight and die like a man. It is your choice whether or not to choose this fate.?[/b]

I was speechless. Unable to respond, I just looked into the man?s ominous expression like a terrified child. I saw my own violent end in his cold eyes. Suddenly, a car honked its loud horn out in the road and I jerked my head towards it in terror. By instinct, I quickly looked back at the man, but he was gone. [b] ?D-damn it!?[/b] I cursed loudly standing back uprightly. I felt mentally and emotionally exhausted from that strange encounter. I leaned my back against the wall and breathed a deep sigh. [i]Did that really just happen??[/i] I thought to myself, confused and very afraid. I?d been an assassin for a long while. I?ve fought some pretty nasty figures before. But this guy? something about this guy was different. His presence alone felt like he was in the process of slitting my throat. Running away was out of the question though. I knew that he was telling the truth about what he said. I?d have to fight him, tonight. This whole contract was turning my life slowly into hell, but I?m sure that if I survived this little encounter tonight, it?d only get worse?

Shaking my head, I tried to regain my balls and take a few steps. I reached up onto the stores awning to grab my bag. I couldn?t feel it, though. My hand returned to me with a piece of paper in it.

[i]You won?t be needing this in Hell.[/i] it read.

[b] ?Shit.?[/b] I whispered to myself. I balled up the paper and threw it into the gutter. I needed to talk to someone. Someone with a head on their shoulders. Someone who could help me out? I needed to talk to maybe my only true friend.

I needed to talk to Sakura.[/color][/size]

[Redemption]

[size=1]Impressive Boss.

The story really flows. I loved Gavin's introduction. 'Interesting... most interesting.' I think most of the regular OBers would have killed themselves laughing at the introduction. I most certainly enjoyed it.

Can't wait for the next installment.

[b]- Redemption[/b][/size]

[Revelation]

[size=1][color=#4B5B5B]I can't believe you talked me into commenting...not that there's anything wrong with that. Anyways, long story short: You have a few grammatical errors, mainly SPELLING, other than that, everything seems to fit.

Your story revolves around fighting, fighting, and more fighting. I'm pleased, [i]VERY[/i] pleased with it. I don't know why but to me, it seems like there's satire in there somewhere, which is good. I like satire because it's a relief from...well every other genre out there. And it makes the writing piece a bit more enjoyable, right?

Anyways, I'm looking forward to the next piece. If I happen to show up in the next piece, I'd better not see myself as some sort of...yeah you get the picture since we already went through this. Anywho, keep it up, kid.[/size][/color]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

I seriously cannot heap enough praise on this Mike, aside from the utterly wicked character you've based on me, very Angel/The Crow feel to him, it's just the overall setting and writing that have really hooked me. I'm terrible at fight scenes, and yet yours flow really well and give a sense of time as well as movement. As I said, this is nothing short of awesome, and I can't wait to see how The Crusader and Mike meet in battle, though I suspect I'll meet the business end of that shortsword of yours. [/SIZE]

[Zen]

[size=1]Thank you everyone for the comments. I hope I live up to your expectations in the future. Now for the final chapter before the showdown between Gavin and The Boss.

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[center][b]Chapter 4:[/b] Bullet With A Kiss [/center]



Time was everything. I contacted Sakura as fast as possible. Luckily I kept my cell phone in my pants at all times. I dialed her and hoped that she hadn?t changed her number again (couldn?t let the cops get a hold of something like that, after all). The phone rang once, twice, thrice? [i]Damn it, pick up![/i]

[b] ?Huuugh? Hello??[/b] came a tired, Australian woman?s voice. She must have still been asleep.

[b] ?Wake up, sleepy head. I?m about to die.?[/b] I spoke casually, waiting for her response. She smacked her lips a few times and coughed.

[b] ?What?d you do this time, B??[/b] she grumbled carelessly. [b] ?More importantly? to who??[/b]

I gave a deep sigh. [b] ?I caught the Crusader?s eye apparently.?[/b] I said hesitantly, but trying to soften the impact of my words.

[b] ?Meet me at the usual spot in half an hour.?[/b] she spoke fully awake at this point, and then hung the phone up. I sighed at my phone and shoved it back in my pocket. The ?usual spot? was about half a mile away. Not a fun walk when recovering from a stab wound. I began walking a few paces when I caught my own appearance in an empty shop window. I stopped and took a look at myself. I was looking pretty rough. My dark eyes were even darker from redness, bags dragging at the bottoms of my eye sockets. My short, auburn hair was greasy and out of order. I looked like shit.

I glared deep into my own eyes and remembered my former self, ten years ago as some punk fifteen year old kid. I tried to remember why I ever chose to become an assassin. [i] Because I thought it?d get me laid?[/i] I thought with a smirk. [i] Dumb ass.[/I] I put my hood on and continued my short, but far too long, journey.

The usual spot, a small, family owned sushi and hibachi restaurant called ?Miyabi?s?. Known for its loyal customers who rarely go to any other establishment for said dishes, me and Sakura were both welcome regulars. I walked myself up to the bar area and seated myself. There were rarely customers at this hour, in between breakfast and lunch. The chef and waitress, husband and wife, both greeted me with big smiles. They really made me feel like family, and if there were a time I needed that feeling, it was now.

[b] ?How are you doing, B??[/b] Shinji, the owner/chef, asked me with a friendly expression.

I leaned over the counter with my face propped in my hands. I laughed through my nose and met eyes with him. [b] ?How do I look??[/b]

He looked into my face and smiled [b] ?Pretty bad.?[/b]

The bell over the entrance rang and light footsteps accompanied it. [b] ?I?d say.?[/b] came Sakura?s Aussie accent.

My eyes dragged across their sockets to my left to see her figure glowing in the sunlight. Elegant, yet tough. Thin, yet strong. She dressed in a tight fitting red button-up shirt with short sleeves. A pair of black jeans and black-studded belt tied the outfit together. Long black hair with red streaks flowed off her shoulders and slightly onto her chest. Her dark complexion was kept an smooth, a rarity for those of our profession. Her brown Asian eyes looked at me with slight annoyance. She stepped over towards me, giving Shinji a nodding hello and ordering a number three. [b] ?So tell me your situation, B.?[/b]

I rubbed my eyes as I spoke. [b] ?The Crusader knows I?m after James. He found me, and he challenged me to a fight at the Waterfront.?[/b]

[b] ?Then just run away.?[/b] she replied quickly, half laughing.

[b] ?That?s not an option. He said he?d kill me whether I came or not.?[/b] Sakura was a smart girl. Smarter than me for not taking the James contract.

[b] ?Damn. You?re really in deep, huh??[/b] she said, telling me what I already knew.

[b] ?What do you think I should do??[/b] I asked, my life probably counting on her answer.

She began biting her thumb nail, looking out the window and towards the sun. This meant she was deliberating some great thought. I was scared. I was very, very scared. [b] ?You?re going to need a trump card. An ace in the hole. Something to give you an extra edge. As little as I know about the Crusader, you and I both know you?re no match for him alone.?[/b]

[b] ?So what do you suggest my trump card be??[/b] I asked begrudginlgy.

[b] ?Me, of course.?[/b] she spoke bravely.

This made me visibly angry. [b] ?No, no way. I?m not letting you stick you?re neck out for me.?[/b] There was no way I could. She didn?t have anything to do with the contracts, and even if we had a lot of history behind us, I wasn?t going to let her stop making her own.

[b] ?Who said I was going to stick my neck out? They don?t call me the ?Sweet Sniper? for nothing.?[/b] she proclaimed proudly. Yes, she went by that name. The greatest female sniper in what many believed to be the world. She had a few aliases for that title. The Bullet with a Kiss. The Distant Rose. But she wasn?t such a poetic individual. Just a talented one.

I looked into her eyes and saw a great determination. She wouldn?t back down from me, there was no stopping her. My first mistake was calling her for help in the first place. I knew then that our next stop would be the Waterfront Gardens, and a great battle with a deadly man.

Shinji pretended not to hear anything...


[/color][center]****************************[/center]


'[b]Chapter 5[/b]: The Rose Garden' coming next friday.

In the mean time, re-read the last couple chapters and savor for the next juicy, long battle.


[/size]

[Shy]

[size=1]I liked this better when it was called 'Kill Adam.'

-Shy[/size]

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

Sick burn. That one really hit me right in the pride.

Unfortunately for me, I never read much of Kill Adam. Hopefully I'm not a complete plagirist so far or in the future.[/color][/size]

[Gavin]

[QUOTE=Shy][size=1]I liked this better when it was called 'Kill Adam.'

-Shy[/size][/QUOTE]

[SIZE=1]A bit harsh Josh, one might easily turn round and declare they preferred "Kill Adam" when it was "Kill Bill".

In actuality the storyline behind The Hit is quite different to Kill Adam/Kill Bill in many respects. We know only that James has had a price put on his head, we don't yet know by whom or for what reason, though I have a few theories. And from what we've seen of the assassins currently, there's no personal motivation to collect the bounty, it's just business.[/SIZE]

[Doublehex]

Now, most of the people here who have read this were probably somewhat biased because they were in it.

Well, I'm not (shame on you), but I like it anyways!

I don't know why, but the whole premise seems interesting. An assasin who'se in more than he ever bargined for, a seemingly invicible zealot is out to get him. Even with his best friend behind him, one has to wonder if he'll make it out of here alive.

I also like the vaguness to it, at times. All we know is that we want James dead. We don't know [I]what[/I] he is wanted dead for.

[Shy]

[QUOTE=Gavin][SIZE=1]A bit harsh Josh, one might easily turn round and declare they preferred "Kill Adam" when it was "Kill Bill".

In actuality the storyline behind The Hit is quite different to Kill Adam/Kill Bill in many respects. We know only that James has had a price put on his head, we don't yet know by whom or for what reason, though I have a few theories. And from what we've seen of the assassins currently, there's no personal motivation to collect the bounty, it's just business.[/SIZE][/QUOTE][size=1]'Kill Adam' [i]was[/i] a blatant rip-off of 'Kill Bill,' or at least it started that way. Eventually the story grew into something unique, but I think the quality was such that nobody would try and confuse it with this latest generation of OB fan-fiction.

What concerns me more than the premise is how everyone is willing to turn a blind eye towards the problems with the piece. The Boss is capable of much more, but he'll never be able to reach that point if the feedback he receives is just blind praise.

The thing that jumps out at me about the writing is how repetitive the sentence structure is. This is something very common when writing in the first-person, and you have to make sure not to start off every sentence with 'I.' Worse yet, you need to learn when to end a sentence and start a new one. Your story has a lot of run-on sentences and you'll find that your writing is much stronger with shorter, more concise description.

I also noticed is that you aren't satisfied with your characters simply saying something; yhey have to 'reply cautiously,' or 'pronounce prominently.' The dialogue should be strong enough to stand on its' own without additional description. When two characters are engaged in a conversation, it isn't always neccessary to apply attribution to who said what:[/size]
[indent]"I love you, Walter..." Sarah said, turning her back to the man.

"I.. love you too, you saucy sea wench! ARR!"

Walter removed the smoking pipe from his mouth, and kissed her passionately on the lips.

"Oh, what will ever become of us?"

"We can make our life together, on the sea!"[/indent][size=1]That's obviously not the best example, but I think you get the idea. After several lines of just dialogue it would be a good idea to break it up with some kind of description, even if you are only describing one of the characters turning around of biting into an apple or something.

Please don't use slashes in your writing. Describing someone as an 'Owner/Chef' is lazy, because you could just as easily say 'Bob is head chef and owner of such and such a place.'

When writing in the first-person, you should also avoid writing things like "This made me angry," or "This upset me." [i]Show[/i] with your writing, don't [i]tell.[/i] Describe the tears welling up in your eyes, or how you punched the wall in frustration. Do something! In one scene your character is bleeding to death, and it doesn't really seem to bother him at all. Isn't he in pain or afraid? And if he isn't, why not?

That's all for now... I think you get the idea. If you're going to write something as cliche as an OB-Assassins fan-fic, you need to make it stand out through the quality of the story and the writing. There is potential here, but you (and anyone writing OB fan-fiction) can't rely on just the characters and in-jokes to carry the story.

I hope that helped.

-Shy

[b]Edit:[/b] Typos. Irony![/size]

[DeathKnight]

[QUOTE=Shy][size=1][indent]"I love you, Walter..." Sarah said, turning her back to the man.

"I.. love you too, you saucy sea wench! ARR!"

Walter removed the smoking pipe from his mouth, and kissed her passionately on the lips.

"Oh, what will ever become of us?"

"We can make our life together, on the sea!"[/indent][/QUOTE][/size]

[color=crimson]"But there is a problem my love.." Walter said and returned to puffing on his pipe, the smoke clouding his face from her vision.

"What dearest? What is it?"

"I.. I am already married to Shy!"

The audible gasp that followed pierced into the room and left a cold silent vacuum in it's place.

~-~

:D

Anyway, yes I've humored myself. Carry on.[/color]

[Zen]

[size=1]

Thank you much for all the comments you guys. I really appreciate the criticisms, advice, and praise for the story. Special thanks goes to [b]Shy[/b] for his advice on writing style. Hopefully I addressed some of my problems in this chapter. Tell me what you think, everyone. And enjoy.[color=darkred]



[center][img]http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/4992/thehit0oa.jpg[/img][/center]



[b][center]Chapter 5:[/b] The Rose Garden[/center]

My breathe fogged in the air as I stepped onto the wet grass. It was a chilled midnight over the Waterfront Park. This was the only part of town where you could still see the night sky clearly. The stars and half moon dimly lit what would soon be a battle ground. It would be me, The Crusader, and unbeknownst to him, Sakura perched in a nearby memorial tower. Granted that Gavin didn?t kill me immediately, I would hold his attention long enough for Sakura to get her one shot in to end this quickly. That was the plan, and it would have to work.

I stood alone in the middle of a small clearing, surrounded by trees on one side, and facing the tower on the other. The sounds of the city sounded distant, replaced by croaking frogs and chirping crickets. Closing my eyes , I zeroed in on their random noise. Peace was found for a moment as I meditated on the coming battle. I kept telling myself it would all go as planned. Assuring myself I would succeed, that I would live.

All at once, I began feeling like a rookie again, and began panicking as the quiet chirping and croaking slowly became an intense chaos in my mind. I felt like I was sweating, the hairs on my back and neck standing on end. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and exhaled.

[b]?Interesting? Most interesting.?[/b] came that terrifying Irish voice from behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin in surprise and spun around with my odachi at the ready to slash my opponent. The whistle of my blade was fierce as I cut only the air.

[b]?Wh-wha-??[/b]

[b]??.Like a scared rabbit.?[/b] the voice mocked me again, causing me to spin on my toes and meet the side of a gun on my cheek. I whirled back onto the ground, feeling as though my jaw had been broken. Pain rushed through the entirety of my head, causing my hand to rush up and caress the wound. [b]?Stand and fight, you wicked mongrel.? [/b]

Gavin was now standing over me with his Colt Army pointed at my face. His expression was plain and uncaring. I saw no sympathy in his eyes, and my heart was filled by his bloodlust. Attempting to shake it off, I raised my legs up to kick him in the groin, but he leapt back effortlessly. Hopping back to my own feet, I readied myself for the fight. Gavin stood with his back to his enormous cross, now apparent to me that it was constructed of some lusterless metal. Now was the time to keep him still and set the plan into motion.

[b]?Tell me something, Gavin. Why does a man like you need to, or even want to kill for a living??[/b] I eyed the tower and saw Sakura aiming her rifle, a glint from the moonlight shining from the scope.

[b]?I?ll make you a deal??[/b] Sakura curled her finger over the trigger and steadied her aim.[b] ?If you can strike me down, I?ll tell you all you wish.?[/b] Gavin pulled his gun hand behind him and fired a round at the tower?s upper level without even looking. I heard Sakura whelp in pain, and then silence. Gavin?s eyes never left my own as he brought the smoking gun back towards me. ?But only if [i]you[/i] strike me down.?

[i]No, no, no?[/i] I murmured mentally. My face wore an expression of despair as I looked onward at Sakura?s position, praying that she was okay. [b]?Please God?? [/b]I thought out loud.

[b]?God? Haha! My friend, God is not on your side this day.?[/b] Gavin raised his gun and fired at me three times, forcing me to zigzag backwards on the slippery terrain. My eyes left my feet and went to refocus on him, but he had disappeared yet again. Cross and man were out of sight. I peaked over my shoulder and then shut my eyes immediately before I could watch the heavy metal cross smash into my side. It sent me sprawling several feet, the wet grass furthering the distance I slid. I growled like an animal, my ribs throbbing in pain. It felt like I'd been hit by a truck, only worse. Before I could even open my eyes again, the sound of echoing gun shots forced my broken body to scatter away. Running low to the ground, almost galloping on my hands, I dodged the bullets from what were now double Colt Army?s in Gavin?s cold grip.

Gritting my teeth, I forced my battered body to sprint at top speed directly towards Gavin, hoping not to be shot. With my sword at the ready to cut him apart, I let out a fierce roar. Then a rush of burning pain accompanied the clatter of a gun. My right thigh pulsed in agony as I stumbled and slid at Gavin on my back. Standing or not, I would get him back for Sakura. Spinning my body as I approached his legs, I quickly slashed, but hit only air once again. Gavin was now in the air above me as I lay on the ground watching him like a confused child.

In a show of his great speed, he brought his boot down hard onto my stomach before I could slide past him. He pinned me down and pointed his Colt at my face as I layed helpless. He uttered one word.



[center][b]?Amen.? [/b][/center]



[/color][/size]

[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]I like the way you don't show mercy to any of your characters, Mike ^_^;

Good lead up to what will, no doubt, be a very big ending to a fast-paced fight. I have but one qualm, at that's the shortness of your sentences. First person is great for thoughts, but sometimes your writing just seems stilted because I keep seeing a dot telling me to pause and breathe. I know thoughts can be seperate, but keep in mind they can also run on. You have a bit more flexibility here as far as your narrative goes so you should work with it.

Other than that, good work as usual! I look forward to the next installment.[/SIZE]

[Dragon Warrior]

[size=1]Actually, Zeke, he showed mercy to me :) I'm livin' in my flippin' sweet suite, baby! With a beautiful woman... who nags at me... all the time... damnit, Boss! You don't show mercy to any of your characters!

Anyways, I finally finished all the chapters. I definitely think it's improving. Though I can see where Shy is coming from, I see a large difference between this and Kill Adam. You're getting better at describing, which was already your strong point. Now just take what I told you in PM and really start using your character's personality to up your writing. Especially when continuing the [b]Boss VS Gavin[/b] match, I'm sure it'd put ten times more dramatics into it if you really used The Boss' personality. It's apparent you're good at creating characters, so you'll be fine with everyone else. Gavin is pretty cool. Then again, what Gavin isn't? ;)[/size]

[Zen]

[size=1]
Well, so far this is probably the best chapter I think I've written. The conclusion to the Gavin v. Boss fight. I hope I'm improving with each chapter. Tell me if I'm not.

But please enjoy this.

[center]
[color=darkred]
[img]http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/4992/thehit0oa.jpg[/img][/center]


[center][b]Chapter 6:[/b] The Lord?s Forgiveness[/center]




Here I was again, looking down the barrel of a gun while lying on my back. The man holding the gun stood above me, intent to kill in his eyes. I watched as his fingers curled around the trigger of his Colt Army. My life began flashing before my eyes. My first steps, my first day at school, my mother?s funeral, my father being deployed overseas, my first kiss, losing my virginity, college, and the face of my master. All the hard lessons I had learned, all the hell I went through to live, just to end up in this position. [i]No! [/i] I screamed in my head. [i]Not yet! It can?t end like this! [/i]

My mind came back to reality, a new force driving my body and soul. [b] ?May God accept you into his Kingdom, sinner?? [/b] Gavin spoke into the ether, not directly to me.

I gritted my teeth and furrowed my brow. [b] ?I?m not ready for that yet.?[/b] I growled unconsciously.

[b] ?What!??[/b] before Gavin could react, I swiftly kicked him in the small of his back. As he flew forward, I hopped to my feet and spun around to pursue him. Not losing a step, Gavin cart-wheeled off of one hand and landed low. I charged full steam like a bat out of hell, sending my knee into his face. This caused him to tumble backwards several feet before stopping on his ass. That got his attention.

[b] ?I?m not done yet!?[/b] I hollered loudly. Pissed as hell, I gripped my odachi and ripped it out of its scabbard, holding it across my chest. I was ready for anything. I was ready for revenge for Sakura. Ready to survive.

For a moment, Gavin was silent. His body lurched over as he sat covered in mud. Then his torso began jerking. I couldn?t tell why at first, but then it came. One of the most haunting sounds I?d ever heard. [b] ?Huhahahahaha! HAHAHAHA!?[/b] Gavin laughed as if he were watching a comedy. Almost maniacally, he laughed raising his head to show a delighted grin spread across his bloody face. Crimson poured from his nostrils and the corner of his right eye. He began standing back up as his laughter died, taking a deep heave, he wiped the blood from beneath his nose. [b] ?It would seem the Lord has finally guided me to a worthy opponent.?[/b]

The freaking psychopath looked me dead in the eyes, still wearing a jolly grin. I couldn?t let him get into my head, not now. Gripping the hilt of my blade, I charged at him, dodging bullets from side to side. As I approached him, I quickly whirled into a reverse slash and was blocked with force by his Colt. Sparks snarled in between our weapons. [b] ?You?re getting faster? That?s good.? [/b]. Before I knew it, I was on my head. Victim to a well-placed sweep kick from Gavin, I watched upside down as he jolted for his cross. I moved my legs beneath me as quickly as I could and chased after him. He then jumped behind the upright cross and hid behind it for a short second before coming back from hiding with two more loaded Colts. I didn?t hesitate in my charge. No, I was in the zone. He fired rapidly at me, but his bullets only grazed my skin, causing small cuts to open up all across my body.

Gavin aimed dead on for one moment, sending a well placed shot directly at my face. I had to react quickly, and I did. The greatest intensity pulsed through my veins as I threw my blade up and with what had to be the best luck I?ve ever had, sliced the bullet in half. Someone must have been looking out for me, and Gavin?s face agreed. I looked on with relief and vigor to his expression of surprise and disbelief. Now was my time to strike. I brought my sword across horizontally, attempting to slash Gavin?s side, but he quickly brought his cross down into my sword?s path.

I couldn?t stop, no, never. My body was reacting by it?s self now. Killer instinct was taking me over, and things began to haze. I watched from outside as my body front-flipped over his cross? cover and back-heeled Gavin on the top of his head. He reeled back from the blow swiftly, but I followed him relentlessly. I slashed all over, frantically attacking from all direction. Snarling, growling, and barking out yells of power like an animal. Gavin didn?t lose a step, as he dodged backwards and to the side. Then the moment came as his foot hit a soft part of sod, causing his foot to slip slightly and lose balance. I hollered and brought my blade up from the bottom for a vertical slash.

The tip of my blade stopped at Gavin?s throat. His gun was back home in my face. He was quick alright. We stared into each other?s eyes for a short eternity, unable to react out of fear of the consequences. Gavin looked onto me with what seemed like respect. Then he spoke, [b] ?This fight is over. I will fire my gun and leaped back before you can cut me. You will die here.?[/b] I didn?t reply. [b] ?? but you have been a worthy opponent? [/b] My heart fluttered from the compliment, but now wasn?t the time for thank-you?s. [b] ?I will tell you why I fight.?[/b] Was this supposed to be some kind of parting gift? If so, it wasn?t a very good one? just interesting.

[b] ?I was raised an orphan in a quiet monastery. I was a troubled youth as a child. Few people showed me attention, and I was gifted at few things. I was never adopted and never shown love, so I earned my attention by acting badly, by becoming the bully of the rest of the children I lived with.?[/b]

Cry me a river.

[b] ?One day however, as I was saying attending mass with the rest of the children, a strange man entered our church and joined the congregation. No one questioned this man, for we are all children of God. He seemed nervous, sketchy. He sat in the middle row of empty pews, not praying himself. He was dirty and appeared scared. But we continued prayer. ?[/b]

Must have been a drunk.

[b] ?Then the bullets stormed in through the church doors, destroying all in their path. Strays hit several of the priests and killed many children. The sitting man screamed like a woman and attempted to run, but was also struck down by the faceless gunshots. I ducked my own head down and hid behind the altar, guarded by the statue of the crucifixion. I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and cried. By the time the gunfire had stopped, I could barely see from the tears filling my eyes.?[/b]

Tears started welling up in his eyes. I couldn?t help but become intrigued.

[b] ?I stepped out from behind the altar to find everyone dead. The priests, the children, and the mysterious man. The massacre before me scarred me for life, the destroyed church was burned into my psyche. Later on, I learned that the man who was killed had been the target of a contract killing. It was then on that day that I decided what my life?s path would be. How I would serve the Lord. I would become a warrior for God, and destroy both the worthless people who attained a price on their head?s, and those who hunted them. I would be the hand of judgment before these soldiers?s of fortune could harm anymore innocent lives.? [/b]

I still didn?t answer. Not knowing whether I would live or die, I just listened to the story. [b] ?That is why I asked you to follow me here. That is why I kill for a living. It is not a need, it is must. It must be done for the sake of the innocent.? [/b] Gavin?s grip tightened on his gun. [b] ?I am sorry that you have chosen this path in life. You were a fierce warrior, but now I must bid you good bye.?[/b] I opened my eyes wide in surprise, and then shut them quickly in fear.

[i]Click.[/i]

The sound of an empty gun. Gavin didn?t move. [i]Click, click.[/i]

I opened my eyes and without hesitation brought my sword?s blade across Gavin?s throat. Blood sprayed from the wound lightly. He smiled softly before falling to his knees. [b] ?God? must have truly been smiling on you this day.?[/b] The Crusader then fell onto his stomach and died gracefully. I didn?t want to feel bad, but deep inside I did. He wasn?t an evil man, just a hurt one. Life hadn?t been good to him, and he tried to make a difference for a good cause. But unfortunately that cause brought him into conflict with me. He killed my friend, and tried to kill me. Something in the back of my head told me that I wasn?t supposed to die today? maybe it was God.



[center]********************************[/center]



I climbed the steps of the memorial tower to recover Sakura?s body. I would need to call someone to handle Gavin?s enormous frame, so I had to leave his body. As I climbed the stairs, I held back tears. This fight didn?t need to happen, and shouldn?t have. Two people had just died because of me. I was racked with guilt and self-loathing. As I reached the entrance way for the balcony Sakura had been perched on, I hesitated to enter. I didn?t want to see her dead body. I gulped hard and breathed through my nose. It was time to be a man. I stepped forward and saw her delicate body shining in the moon light, but strangely no injury. There was a large bruise on her forehead in a circular shape.


I then noticed her rifle?s scope was destroyed from a bullet. My heart rose from the pits of my stomach and I examined her closer. She was breathing. Was it a lucky miss? It must have been. Or had Gavin actually?[/color]




I hope you'v enjoyed reading. Be kind and leave a comment folks, so I can continue posting new chapters.

PS- Sexy new graphic by the Dragon Warrior. Give him a hand folks.

[/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

[size=1]I'm happy Sakura is fine. I mean, part of me wanted her to die for that morbid dramatic effect (no offense to Sakura, of course), but I still wanted her to live--that being my sensitive and caring side. Good work, Affleck. You sure do well with this!

I see you took things into consideration and introduced more personality to your writing. The line "His gun was back home in my face" was perfect. Stuff like that gives it more attitude and totally more interesting to read. Keep that up! The rest I've already told you personally. So get to it.[/size]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Bah, and here I was hoping I might actually come out the winner of that fight, though I have to admit, I knew from the moment the two characters had their weapons in killing positions that the Crusader's weapon would be empty, it was just a little obvious.

Like DW I half-hoped that Crusader actually killed Sakura with that shot. Given his mission, it makes little sense to spare a woman who would have quite comfortably killed him, plus it would bring back that edge to the character after his confession and subsequent death. Of course it's often harder to be merciful in such situations, which gives further credit to the mental strength of the character.

Of course maybe I'm just trying to console myself at the loss of such a cool interpretation of me. ^_^;[/SIZE]

[Zen]

[size=1]

Thanks for the comments, guys.

This chapter coming up isn't my best, I don't think. But I like the ending, sets up for some interesting situations in the future of the story. An introduction of Jokopoko's character and DW returns aswell. Check it.

[color=darkred]

[center]
[img]http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/4992/thehit0oa.jpg[/img][/center]


[center][b]Chapter 7:[/b] Damage Report[/center]



I was going to have some time gathering Sakura and her weapon without drawing attention on my exit. I would need a little bit of help, so I called the only other person who would unwillingly help me. Rummaging through my pocket, I grabbed my cell phone and began dialing.

[i]Ring?. Ring?. Ring?.[/i]

[b] ??.WHAT?!?[/b] came DW?s furious voice.

[b] ?Hey lover boy, I?m gonna need some assistance.?[/b]

[b] ?Who the hell do you think you?re talking to, asshat? I?m sleeping!?[/b]

[b] ?That?s all you?d be doing??[/b]

[b] ?What was that?!?[/b] came an angry reply.

[b] ?Sakura?s unconscious. I need a ride, homes. And a clean up. I'm at the Waterfront Park... Think you could hook me up??[/b]

[b] ??..?[/b] this pause meant that DW was contemplating. Business meant money. Money was always good, always worth the trouble. Greedy bastard.

[b] ?So???[/b]

[b] ?I?m thinkin? douchebag?.?[/b] more thinking. [b] ?Alright. I?ll have my friend JP swing by and take you where you need. I?ll set up the clean up team. Go stand on the corner of Waterfront and Breedson.?[/b]

[b] ?Thanks, D. You?re a real life saver.?[/b]

[b] ?Don?t thank me until you see you?re bank account, pal.?[/b] the phone was hung up. My heart sank. Greedy bastard. I looked down to Sakura?s unconscious body and smirked. Lucky kid. Those words applied to me as well. Statistically, and by all laws of nature, I should have died back there. Maybe Gavin was right. Maybe God really was smiling on me. Now wasn?t the time for soul searching though, cops would be here soon and I didn?t need heat. I tucked my sword in my belt loop and slowly picked Sakura up, carrying her over my shoulder. Then I leaned down and struggled as I lifted the enormous AS50* sniper rifle she lugged around.


I carefully stepped down the stairs of the tower and hobbled to the designated corner. Lucky for me it was near by. My own injuries were starting to get to me, particularly the gunshot wound in my thigh. It pulsed with pain, but I was lucky that The Crusader favored a powerful gun. Went right through. I laughed at the irony as I limped. By the time I got there, I saw a black Jaguar waiting for me, a young white male leaning against the hood. He stood there coolly, dressed in a all-black suit with sunglasses. Kid had style, I had to admit.

[b] ?You DW?s bloke??[/b] he asked me in a born and raised British accent.

[b] ?What does it look like??[/b] I replied with a furrowed brow and an angry voice.

[b] ?Toss it in the boot??[/b] he said as he withdrew a piece of chewing gum from his pocket and began chewing on it loudly. I gave him an upset look. [b] ??. I [i]am[/i] talking about the gun.?[/b] I continued looking at him frustrated, shrugging my loaded shoulders. [b] ?Oh right?. Fine.?[/b] he sighed, walking around to the trunk of the car, opening the back seat doors along the way. I stumbled towards the door and slowly laid Sakura down onto the car?s leather seats. If I hadn?t been on the verge of death a few moments ago, I might have complimented JP?s ride.

Stepping back out, I dropped the gun into the trunk lazily. [b] ?Watch the paint, ya wanker!?[/b] JP screamed in offense. I looked up and almost told him to shut the hell up. But I needed a ride and lacked the energy for another fight. So I just sighed. [b] ?So anyways??[/b] he continued to chew his gun annoyingly loud, [b] ?Where to, mate??[/b]

Rubbing my dirty face I muttered, [b] ?DW?s place.?[/b] That outta show his ass. Greedy bastard.

[b] ?Right-o. Hop on in.?[/b] I nodded to him thankfully and fell into the back seat next to the sleeping Sakura. I was so tired. Ready to rest, I slowly closed my eyes as the car started with a smooth purr. As we took off, I heard the sound of a stereo withdrawing a CD. Out of now where, with blaring volume, the car?s speakers pumped out a techno-version of the Transformers theme song, which JP faithfully sang along with. I growled deep and rubbed my eyes. It was going to be a long ride.


[center]*******************************[/center]


We stopped off in front of DW?s condo. JP was nice enough to begrudgingly stop singing the Transformers song long enough to help me bring up Sakura?s rifle. He struggled and complained the whole way, but did none the less. [b] ?G?night, pal.?[/b] he said and gave me a mock salute before descending the stairs again. I stood in front of DW?s door alone, with no more than an unconscious body as company. [i] What a night.[/i]

I knocked. The sound of lazy footsteps shuffling answered. DW opened the door, wearing the same night robe from the early night. [b] ??God damn it?. Is she the one you fought??[/b] he cried to himself and shook his head, letting me in.


[b] ?No? I killed the guy.?[/b] I gently laid Sakura down onto the couch as DW brought in the rifle. [b] ?She was supposed to help, but got a nasty bump on the head.?[/b] DW didn?t pay any attention.

[b] ?Hey, if this is part of your payment, I?ll take it.?[/b] Greedy bastard.

[b] ?Put it down, D.?[/b] I replied without hesitance.

[b] ?Listen? you gotta stop doing this, man. Peanut?s gonna rip my head off eventually.?[/b]

[b] ?Aren?t you paying for the place??[/b]

[b] ?Listen, I ain?t got time for a killer?s logic right no-? [/b] the phone?s ringing interrupted his smart ass reply. He shuffled over towards it and picked up the receiver, still visibly annoyed. [b] ?What is it now??[/b] the sound of a hurried voice came in through the receiver. [b] ?Uh-huh?. Yeah. What about it??[/b] the voice became more panicked. [b] ?What?! God, how do you lose a damn body!? Hold on.?[/b] DW looked at me and covered the bottom of the phone. [b] ?You said you needed a clean up, but there wasn?t a body. I thought you killed him??[/b]

[b] ?I did! I slit his damn throat and watched him stop breathing?.?[/b]

[b] ?Who?!?[/b]

[b] ?The fucking Crusader, that?s who!?[/b]

[b] ?One, my friend, that?s impossible. Crusader can?t be killed. Two, there isn?t a damn body in the park. My guy on the line said he did a clean sweep and only found a couple casings and a broken scope.?[/b]

[b] ?What?.??[/b]



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Duh dum duuuuuummmmm!!!! Comments please.[/size]