Advice Oh-Wise-Otakus....

[Trigun 11]

[SIZE=1]First off let me say this. I can't find my original thread, and I AM A GIRL Thank you. You may now read.

I've wrestled for two years. Wrestling has been the only sport that I have participated in competition wise. And in those two years, I've received the following injuries:

-Torn ACL and Meniscus in my left knee
-cracked ribs on my left side.

And that's all my first year. Some may not think that's much.
But try telling that to my Mother.-.-"

My second year injuries include a Left Hip Injury after being slammed onto it 3-4 feet in the air and about three (i think) concussions.

I quit because I would've been kicked off the team due to fighting cause of the harassment I was receiving from my so-called "teammates" and the coach was doing nothing about it.Let's just say, it was so innapropriate that it wasnt even freakin' funny.I broke down twice after practice in the girls' locker room from it. I was taking the High Road, which is kinda like the same titled song by Fort Minor.

I didn?t wrestle from January First to February 26 in ?06. Feb. 26 was Girls' Open State in McPherson, Kansas. I ended up with not finishing the tourney cause I got sent to the ER with possible c6 and clavicle injuries. I come out of it with torn muscles in my left shoulder from the base of my neck to somewhere in my shoulder.

All my injuries have come back clean from MRI's and CT Scans, but they always act up. (?fore I forget, my medical bill limit is like two grand, and I?ve passed it. Both years.) To the point of tears. And I hate to cry. I was literally beating myself up for crying at Girls' State in front of all those people, those little girls who look up to the older wrestlers and my two coaches who were mat side with me, trying to calm me down and were telling me it was okay to cry. Call me weird, but yes, I hate to cry. Only time I?ve cried and not beat myself up for it was when both of my grandparents died.

My mother is now telling me that I cannot wrestle anymore, and that she wants me to have nothing to do with it. I wasn?t able to wrestle in the ?06 ? ?07 season for my highschool too.

Now the question is, what should I do? I want to follow my mother?s wishes but, I can?t turn my back on wrestling. I may have only done it for two years, unlike others who?ve been wrestling since the age of five, but I still love it just as much as them, despite all the crap I've received from it. You fellow wrestlers will understand when I say that there?s a certain draw about wrestling. The adrenaline rush, just everything about it. Oh yeah, can?t forget the fact that it?s the only sport that encourages you to rub your opponents face into the floor. XD


I mean, I know all my injuries are extensive but yeah. I'm the type that wants to prove every one wrong. I don't care. My mother doesn't really support me so, I'm like "Let me learn from my mistakes." I know its stupid to 'tough out' injuries. I've never done it. Call me crazy, but I don't care about the pain, or whatever else I get from wrestling.This season is hard on me enough cause I'm not a manager or a wrestler. Heck, My last 'action' and seeing any wrestling was back at the McPherson Tourney. People ask me why I give so much into somethign that really doesn't give me anything back. I tell them, if you aren't a wrestler you wouldn't understand.

I'm starting Tae Kwon Do, but it doesn't give me the same thrill as wrestling.
Maybe it will replace it, I don't know.
I doubt it.
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[Adahn]

[font=Tahoma]
The only good advice I can give that can apply to you whatever the situation is this:

Try new things, anything you think might give you that thrill. If you can find something that makes you feel the same way, and is less dangerous, then it may make a passable substitute for wrestling.

I wrote some other stuff, but it was mostly crap I used to get to what I've written above.

EDIT: Se-phi-roth!
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[Cyriel]

[COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1]Let me just say that [I]I am impressed[/I]. In the places where I've lived, the communities seemed to have very specific expectations for each gender, and that mind-set extended to which sports were made available to males and females. I've never actually been to a wrestling match, but all the schools I attended only had boys' wrestling teams. To know that you're not only a girl participating in this sport, but that you also stuck with it for the time you did, despite all the injuries you suffered, can only be applauded.
[QUOTE]Some may not think that's much.
But try telling that to my Mother.-.-"[/QUOTE] Haha, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Everytime I became involved in a sport, if I got hurt even once she would tell me stop, because she didn't want to see me getting hurt. The one and only time she came to one of my cross-country races, she started crying and told me to stop running [I]in the middle of the race[/I], because she couldn't bear to imagine how hard I was pushing myself (Of course I didn't stop running ^__^ and I still tease her about it). For me, my mother worrying about my 'injuries' isn't much - she's just worrying about my well-being. For you it might be different, because your injuries that you've accumulated seem to be much more serious. I know that in such physical sports those kinds of things are to be expected, but you should still consider the long-term effects. Also keep her feelings in mind; she may not openly support you in this particular sport, but that doesn't mean that she wants you to fail. She just doesn't want to see get hurt, both physically and mentally.

[QUOTE]I quit because I would've been kicked off the team due to fighting cause of the harassment I was receiving from my so-called "teammates" and the coach was doing nothing about it. [/QUOTE] Are there particular reasons why you're getting picked on/harrassed? Why are your teammates isolating you? Taking the high road is admirable of course, and speaks about your character, but there are also times when you shouldn't keep quiet. If it's necessary, you really should get the necessary officials or school administration involved - it's not about being 'honorable,' it's about a right to having a suitable environment to practice and compete in in school. As for your coach, have you actually spoken with him/her about your specific problems? Don't assume that they will know everything that's going on, because oftentimes they won't. Humans are psychics. [QUOTE]People ask me why I give so much into somethign that really doesn't give me anything back. I tell them, if you aren't a wrestler you wouldn't understand.[/QUOTE] Have you thought that you might possibly be isolating yourself? Telling other people that they can't understand just because they're not in the same sport as you doesn't exactly open other people up to understand what you're dealing with. Perhaps people like your mother 'don't understand' because you could just be shutting yourself off, or because they really don't know what they're supposed to do to help you out and support you.

Also, it's not weird to hate crying. Since you're a wrestler, I assume that you pride yourself in having the strength and determination to pull yourself through everything, and you say that you're the type that likes to prove everyone wrong as well. It's easy to understand that you'd hate crying in front of others - after all, it's showing your vulnerability to others, and making your weaknesses real. However, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Crying is an emotional outlet that is sometimes necessary - bottling everything up isn't healthy, and while you may feel like not crying makes you stronger, really all you're doing is storing up all the muck inside, instead of letting it go.

[QUOTE]I'm starting Tae Kwon Do, but it doesn't give me the same thrill as wrestling.
Maybe it will replace it, I don't know.
I doubt it.[/QUOTE] I was going to suggest that you try another sport that could take the place of wrestling, but it seems you're already doing that. It's good that you're attempting this too, because in the process you might find something else that you like. However, I encourage you to go into it with an open mind; if you've already decided that you're not going to like it, you probably won't.
As for wrestling, if you're really that committed to it, then don't let others stop you from doing what you have a passion for. If the environment is such that you really can't stand doing it in school, you might want to look for different places where you can compete, like leagues or clubs or something (I don't really know what's available to you).[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[TheResplendent]

[FONT=Tahoma]I recall your last thread, and it seems as if the situation has changed very little. Thus my advice to you is very much the same as what I told you last time.

[quote=me]I happen to be a very big wrestling fan in addition to being an otaku, profesisonal and ametuer. There is one very big decision you need to make which will end everything if your answer is a certain way. Wrestling is something that needs to be a lifestyle, you need to be extremely passionate about it in order to succeed. Decide whether it's something that your blood has stained already and if you want to continue to dedicate your blood to it. In other words, drive and dedication is the most important factor. If you have that, then nothing should hold you back.

To avoid injuries, learn to train your body in specific ways. Show your mother that your diciplining yourself further in order to prepare your body for the punishment. That's really the only thing you can do about injuries, keep in shape and be diciplined. Know your extents. If your getting injured from armbars and hammerlocks or other common joint locks than you may have a longer way to go but it isn't impossible. The cracked ribs however, if injuries like that happen too commonly than it deserves a lot of attention, especially if it's the same ribs. It's very hard to wrestle even with wrapped ribs, you become very short of breathe easier.

Everything is about what measures you take to avoid and solve the problems. As for your mother though, if it isn't enough for her...the decision has to be yours in the end. It's as i said, wrestling needs your unconditioned dedication.[/quote]

What I didn't touch upon before is your mentioning of the harrassment you've received from your teammates. It appears that you've dealt mostly with all girl squads (from what I can draw from what you wrote) so unless you have done something to prompt any kind of responses like that, I can only say that there are going to be incidents like that all the time. People have to deal with being called out and hated on for whatever reason because that's the nature of people, while it may not be in abundance for many people, down the road everyone has experienced some kind of "bashing" or discrimination for whatever reason.

From what I've seen in terms of teams that include both genders when it comes to a sport that involves as much contact as wrestling, a big problem is sexual harrassment. There have been a few cases over here but none so serious that it needed to be blown out of proportion through public periodicals.

Nevertheless, whether you want to admit it or not, getting into something like wrestling as a female is ten times harder then it is for a male. Reasons range from difference in limits and ability to sexism. But nothing changes the most important point that I've tried to make clear to you, and that is wrestling is something that drives you past anything short of a life-threatening or career-ending injury. Wrestling whether it be prefessional or ameteur is not a sport or a job before it is a lifestyle. If you love it like you say you do, then it is the reason you heal your injuries, the reason you train in order to not be injured, and the reason you tell your mother that you even want to live. If you are wavering in your resolve to persue a career in wrestling, then you don't need to be doing it.

What I see being the biggest problem here, is the hospital bills. This is probably a large reason as to why your mother wants you to stop so badly. I'm sure much more of it is the concern for your health as well as what is more reliable in terms of making a living. These are all things parents tend to prioritize when thinking of their children. So you really have to take into consideration your ability, not just your determination. Lemme elaborate more on that since I know as somebody who wants to "prove everyone wrong" and for someone who even wants to pursue this kind of life, you are really going to need to stamp this into your head (sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but this is necessary).

Your determination, drive, and heart may be the absolute most important qualities to have when taking this into consideration. But in reality they will only get you so far if your body is simply not fit for this. It is like being only as strong as your weakest link when involved in a team, your determination will only bring you as far as your body will allow. It is unfortunate, but we are only human. Part of forming your resolve over this [b]must[/b] include facing the facts about how far your body can go with it. If you truly believe that you can handle it, then absolutely nothing should stop you. I understand that you want to respect your mother's wishes, and it must be very conflicting for you to make this decision seem as easy as I'm making it. But just remember that this decision ultimatley effects your life directly, and if it makes happy then your mom must make the adjustment to understand that. Just try to make it a little better for her by meeting her half-way. Don't just train your body for yourself, do it for her as well so she has less to worry about. Let that fuel more and more of your determination so you can fully combine body and mind into your hopeful success.[/FONT]

[Delta]

[COLOR=#656446]It seems that after two years of training, you still sustain injuries of considerable gravity. I could offer two conclusions: 1) you do not know how to properly receive a hit/strike; or 2) your body's not made for wrestling. Either way, it would be best if you stop wrestling [u]for the mean time.[/u]

Also, remember that broken bones, no matter how healed they may seem, do not regain the same strength they had before injury. Unless you do something to minimize impact from all the throws you receive, you WILL get them broken again. You do realize that shattered ribs can poke holes into your lungs, do you? :\

Give your body a rest, love. If you really can't get contact sports out of your system, replace wrestling with a low-impact substitute. [b]Judo[/b] would be a better alternative than tae kwon do.[/COLOR]

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]Hmm. I'm not sure how much original advice I can give, since everyone here has pretty much got it all covered.

I know how it feels to be picked on and harassed - and I've usually gotten it just for being me (*_*). It sucks that the coaches aren't willing to address it; if you do compete again, it's an issue you'll have to push with them.

Also, is it possible that some of this could be affecting your performance on the mat? Either way, I'm also going to go ahead and quote Delta's first paragraph on the subject.

And I was [i]also[/i] going to mention Judo as an alternative. It's actually more similar to wrestling than Tae kwon do. Additionally, if you [i]are[/i] of a smaller physique, it will work to your advantage. Judo, in part, uses the laws of momentum (yes, those things from physics class). Momentum = (mass x velocity). Objects (people) of large masses will gain more momentum and thus be easier to pin down, so it works to your advantage if you're smaller.[/color]