Writing A Sonnet - Rating E

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[size=1]This is a sonnet that I wrote. Comment if you like, or just read it. Or stop reading here, alternatively. :)[/size]



Sonnet XXIII (If Cradles Are Our Ships)

A sea more perilous I ne?er did see,
That tossed and threw its waves like cliffs of stone
Which loom above and teeter with a groan,
Then fall and set their flailing tendons free;
The foam dispatches hulls and leaves debris
To float in frightful calm and roaring drone,
Before the fragments of the boat are bone ?
The mast a spine to drift on silently.
If in the morning on the shore I?ve stood
To cast a gloomy eye upon the wreck,
Then I have lived unwholesomely and should,
To prove myself, stand proud upon the deck.
If cradles are our ships, all stuffed with down,
Set mine off out to sea and watch me drown.

[sahkiryce]

[FONT=Arial Narrow][COLOR=DarkRed]Unfortunately, I'm not a real expert with sonnets, nor have I really constructed any, just maybe a few "pseudo-sonnets", so I can't really give any worthy criticism. And well, I felt like leaving a compliment rather than just criticism, because in truth, I read it over, and I can't find anything wrong. That's just how I see it.

I can just say that I enjoyed reading this. I could picture the sea right in front of me. I really love this line "To float in frightful calm and drone" really really love that line. Hah perhaps the reason why I am liking this poem right now is because you have captured my mood at the moment.[/COLOR] [/FONT]

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[QUOTE=sahkiryce][FONT=Arial Narrow][COLOR=DarkRed]Unfortunately, I'm not a real expert with sonnets, nor have I really constructed any, just maybe a few "pseudo-sonnets", so I can't really give any worthy criticism. And well, I felt like leaving a compliment rather than just criticism, because in truth, I read it over, and I can't find anything wrong. That's just how I see it.

I can just say that I enjoyed reading this. I could picture the sea right in front of me. I really love this line "To float in frightful calm and drone" really really love that line. Hah perhaps the reason why I am liking this poem right now is because you have captured my mood at the moment.[/COLOR] [/FONT][/QUOTE]

Haha. Well perhaps I have. And thank you.

It's a Petrachan Sonnet. Look it up on Wikipedia or something :P