Writing Alone in the woods (Rating-M)

[madwitch5]

Ok this is the first 9 chapters of my book ive been working on this since August and would love all the input and comments I can get on this. I would also like to thank the people ahead of time that have read this whole thing.





Chapter 1
Matt?s downfall

A cold dark day in the life of Matt Sprig his parents funeral. Matt?s parents had died a week ago in a car crash Matt was devastated, the court had told him he must go to his aunt and uncle. He was filled with sadness and hate he had to move into a house with people he hated in a house that wasn?t even big enough for two people! (the next day) ?Ashes to ashes dust to dust may you rest in peace? Matt?s head kept cycling those words that the priest had said, Matt couldn?t take it the pain was just to unbearable to realize his parents were gone so he covered his sadness with anger, anger for what the court has ruled in favor. The anger to live with this pain to have to move and start over in this small shit town.
A week later
Matt woke up that morning angry and sad as ever, an lied there he started getting visions of his Parents but he kicked them out of his mind the pain was to alarming the wound was still to fresh. So he began to stare at the ceiling it was white with yellow fade spot and he began to wonder what did the churches ceiling look like but he didn?t recall.? Matt yawned ?Well I better get up got to go to school? as he threw off the covers to go get dressed.






















Chapter 2
The unfolding question

Matt Walked out on the cold dreary sidewalk it had rained 5 days in a row and had finally stopped on his first day of school. ?Man this sucks I missed the bus, my first day of school and I missed the god damn bus!? Matt screamed aloud, He walked for about five more minuets and came across the old downy trees it was the local forest it was said that an old Mansion was back there somewhere. It was said that the family that lived there was conducting awful experiments on the people that would stop at the Mansion, as well as the workers themselves turning them into horrid monstrous beings that fed on flesh. But Matt didn?t listen he thought that it was just the local town ghost story that every town had, Matt looked once more at the woods and couldn?t help but feel he was being watched he looked this way and that assuring there was nobody watching him and took off down the sidewalk.
Matt finally reached the school hardly a school at all Ran down shackles broken glass and ugly grayish peeling paint it wasn?t a nice sight to see.
Matt walked in the school and saw an old man sitting on the stairwell He saw Matt and stood up ?Matt Sprig?? the man asked ?Yes? Matt replied ?your late? the man yelled out, Matt walked up to the man and explained what happened.
?I see? the man said with a vague look on his face ?well lets get you to class Im your principal Mr. Shay? ?Nice to meet you sir? Matt replied politely to his new principal.
Later at lunch Matt was looking for a place to sit he being the new kid no one wanted to sit with him, so he found a small table at the end at the cafeteria and started to eat the food so disgusting like maggots crawling around inside his mouth he spit it out ?Mashed potatoes my ass!? he said to himself. Matt looked up 2 boys were walking towards him he remembered early in the day he saw those two they looked like the popular boys in the school why would they come over to him
But he was soon to find out.






.




Chapter Three
His parents note.


?Hi I?m John and he?s Mick, nice to meet you? ?Hi I?m Matt? he replied confused.
?Nice to meet you? John replied as the two sat down at Matt?s table ?So how long have you been going here we haven?t seen you much?? Mick asked him ?well I?m in everyone classes I think it?s just because I?m new? ?Maybe??. ?Oh hey Mick and I are going to look for that old Mansion in the Downy Trees and were wondering if you wanted to come?? John asked ?well I don?t know, is it even their my aunt and uncle told me it was just a story?? Matt replied ?Well that?s what we want to find out!? ?And why do you want to invite me?? ?Well seeing as your new we want to be the first to include you!? Mick said ecstatically. ?Um.... okay? Matt replied ?when are we going?? He asked ?tomorrow after school? ?all right Ill be there?.
After school Matt went back to his home ,if you wanted to call it his home he hated the term. But Matt finally thought it was time to go threw his father and mother?s things that were left for him, Matt walked into his aunt and uncle?s home and saw his uncle at the table reading the towns local newspaper but He didn?t see his aunt anywhere in sight. ?Hey Uncle Tom!? Matt yelled as he closed the door, his uncle looked up from his paper ?How was your first day Mathew?? his uncle asked ?It was ok no homework yet.? ?Well someone?s in a good mood.? his uncle said surprised it was the first time in a long time since he saw Matt like this. ?Well I met some boys today and they invited me over this weekend!? ?well that?s good Matt? , ?And umm uncle I was wondering if I could go threw my Parents stuff?? ?Are you sure your ready?? ?Yea, I just think its the right time.? ?Well okay .?. Matt?s uncle got up from the table and left upstairs in about five min. he was on his way back down with two boxes and a letter on top of one of them, ?Here you go Matt.? his uncle put the boxes down in the living room ?Thanks Uncle Tom.? Matt thanked his uncle and opened the letter on his mother box and began to read:
Dear Mathew,
my sweet boy once you read this you?ll know that your father and I have passed, In our boxes are our old cloths, some old Items, and our weapons, use them with care, and remember son we will always love you.
Mom



Matt?s eyes began to swell up with tears ?Are you ok Matt?? his uncle asked ?Yea I?m fine.?





Chapter 4
Prep. date

Mat shuffled threw his parents? things looking for two things his father?s katana sword, and his mother?s 9mm pistol with an extra long clip able to hold 100 bullets.
He found his mother?s pistol first took it out and aimed it at the ceiling, Matt put the gun down on the floor and took out his father?s sword. Matt took the blade out of its sheath ?Wow I?ve finally got dad?s sword? Matt said in awe. Matt put the sword in it?s sheath and set it down next to his Mother?s gun, he stood up and grabbed the weapons ?thanks again uncle!? Matt said running upstairs. Matt opened the door and walked inside ?BOOM!? Matt hit his head on the ceiling ?God dam it!? the room was so cramped it was unbearable, like in the Harry Potter film where he sleeps under the staircase. Matt walked over to his book bag and unzipped it, throwing his books this way and that smashing against the cramped little walls.
He ran down stairs to grab some food he did so and ran back up in a flash, putting it in the book bag he asked himself ?what now I?ve got Dad?s sword Mom?s gun but what else?? ?Maybe this!? Matt ran over to his dad?s box and grabbed an old Zippo lighter ?Dad said this is a lucky lighter it may come in handy.? Matt put the lighter in his pants pocket and walked over to his book bag he zipped it up then swung it over his back. Matt walked down stairs he put his gun in his pocket and the katana sheath threw one of his belt loops, ?well see you uncle? matt yelled walking out the door.
Matt began to walk down the street ?dam its cold.? Matt blew on his hands it?s very strange it was never this cold in the day time it was only 5:00 in the afternoon.
He began to run thinking he?d get left behind ?I hope they don?t forget me.?



















Chapter 5
The beginning

Matt arrived at the front of the woods and saw the boys, ?God I thought you?d never get here!? exclaimed John, Mick just slumped against a tree smiling. ?sorry I got a little side tracked on the way here.? Matt explained to them, Mick stared at Matt?s new sword ?Nice sword.? ?umm thanks, look at this gun my mom left me.? Matt took out his mothers gun and showed it to his new acquaintances. ?Nice!? yelled John ?look at mine.? he said pulling what looked to be a very heavy rifle off of his back, much to big for the boy to handle Matt nodded and looked at Mick to see what he had brought with him for protection. ?Well? he began ?My parents don?t allow guns so I could only bring this.? Mick pulled out a long shiny knife so shiny you could see yourself as if it was a mirror reflection. Matt just shook his head ?So when are we going to get moving into the woods? Matt asked the others, ?As soon as you want to get moving.? Mick said quietly almost like a whisper ?Ok then lets go!? Matt yelled ?Ok?. The boys began to move threw the woods talking to each other John louder than the rest, but about an hour into their quest Mick began to speak with more intensity and started to stare at Matt. ?Matt would you like to know the REAL reason we brought you out here?? ?Umm sure..? ?We better sit down .?, The boys found a spot near a big tree and sat down for the long talk ahead. ?Ok Matt about a week ago my sister Jamie went missing.? ?Ok? matt replied with a confused look on his face, ?well she went missing after being dared to go into the downy trees and find the house, time went by and her friends waited at the entrance of the forest and Jamie didn?t return so they left and went to the police station to report their friend. But they wouldn?t help only because it wasn?t 24 hours of missing, so a day passed and they went back the police rounded up a search party and headed out into the woods.......But they never came back? Mick went silent ?So you drag me out here to look for your sister! even after knowing the police went missing looking for her!? Matt yelled ?Yes....? ?You son of a bitch!? Matt drew his sword ?No don?t do this? yelled John ?put it away it won?t help any!? Matt put it away and began to breath deeply ?Lets go back? Matt told them ?we cant? said Mick ?why the hell cant we!? ?Because they lock the gates at 6? Matt looked at his watch ?6:31, dam! well lets find your sister and get the fuck out of here!? Matt and the other two boys began to walk into the now dark night.









Chapter 6
The first to die

The boys still walking into a relatively helpless situation came to a crossroad ?which way guys?? Matt asked ?I don?t know? said Mick ?You go that way Mick, Matt you go strait and Ill go to the left.? the boys split up unable to see each other by the thickening bunch of trees. When they all heard a loud howl like a wolf but there were more then 1 maybe a pack or so they weren't sure, but what they were sure of was that they needed their weapons. Matt took out his mothers gun and loaded it up with a fast motion, John swung his rifle into his hands and dropped it he was just able to pick it up, and Mick took his knife out of his pocket. They began walking ahead again but this time to Matt and Mick?s ears the howls sounded farther away but to John they sounded like they were right up ahead, he aimed his gun into the darkness and fired. The shot was so powerful it sent him back a few feet falling onto the ground, he heard a dog moan in pain but then heard paws hitting the ground floor faster and faster till he could see red glowing eyes running at him. John?s eyes widen and he rushed to pick up the gun, he managed to get one hand on the trigger he pointed no time to aim and fired 2 shots but hit nothing, they got closer and he fired a 3rd and hit another not a wolf he didn?t know what the hell they were he thought dogs from hell but that was to farfetched. John pulled the trigger once again ?click? ?oh god no? he tried again ?click? he had ran out of ammo and had no time to reload, he got to his feet but soon back down the lead hell hound pounced onto John and latched its jaws onto his face. The monstrous dog twisted and tore at his face ripping and tearing John?s skin off the dogs teeth sinking deeper into his face getting tighter with every second, John still conches put his lifeless hand in his pocket and pulled out a shell and loaded it into the rifle next to his body. Then with his last bit of strength he lifted the barrel up to the dogs stomach and fired, Disgustingly the body was gone with only the entrails and blood on John?s body but the dogs Fangs were so deep into John?s face the head was still attached with the eyes looking into his. Those bright red eyes glaring into John?s soul its like it never died it was already dead, he tore off the head and looked up and saw the other dogs standing there staring at him smelling his fear John closed his eyes accepting his fate.











Chapter 7
The Arrival


The two boys filled with fear from the Snarls, Screams, and gunshots they had just heard made them run their hearts out of the paths they were on, smacking into each other. ?Ouch!? yelled Matt as he fell to the ground, ?Did you hear what I herd!?? Exclaimed Mick in fear ?yeah!? Matt replied ?Lets get the hell out of here? Mick demanded ?I?m with you on that!?. The two boys drew their weapons, Matt with his dad?s Katana and Mick with his bowie Knife and began cautiously walking down the path wondering what's to come.
The night got later and the surroundings darker, scarier ?I?ve got a flashlight in my book bag? yelled out Matt as he unzipped his bag and took out the light that would guide there way. ?Great timing? Mick said sarcastically. The boys began to walk again, hearing the calls of the owls the trees rustling in the cold harsh breeze just added onto the terrifying seance of fear that had surrounded the boys. Hours went on and the boys became more and more scared as they walked deeper and deeper into the woods, Mick was beginning to get paranoid the longer they were out there the worse it became.
?Do you see that light Mick?? Matt yelled pointing at a faint yellowish light in the distance, Mick looked up and began to run at the light. ?Mick wha- where are you going!? Matt began running after him as fast as he could, when all of a sudden Matt smashed into Mick?s back with a hard thud . Matt stood up ?What the hell!? he yelled out Mick just pointed ahead in awe ?Is that Is that it?? ?I think so Matt?, the two boys walked up to the front door and knocked hard on it but there was no answer. So they knocked again but no answer ?We came all this way were not turning back I?m going to find her if it?s the last thing I do!? Mick yelled out pounding on the door. Matt put his hand on Mick?s shoulder ?We will don?t worry.? the two boys heard the door click and slowly with a loud creek it revealed a small hunched over man. ?Hello isn?t a bit far for you boys to be out?? ?Just let us in!? Mick yelled out ?I?m sorry about him but our friend may be hurt can we use your phone?? ?The wolves got him correct?? the boys nodded ?He?s dead? the small man inclined as he opened the door. The boys wearily entered the old Victorian structure ?How can we get back to town?? Matt asked quietly ?I?m afraid there isn?t a ride for a few days, you see deep in these woods a buggy only comes by once a week to bring us to town.? He smiled at them ?But not to worry! you may stay here until that day arrives.? ?Thanks? Matt said in a sarcastic tone of voice.
The three men walked into what looked like to be a kitchen, it was covered from head to toe in dust and cobwebs . ?It looks like no ones eaten in here for years!? Mick said disgusted by how dirty it was, ?Yes well we don?t have many guests in these parts as you may have guessed....? The man said looking back at him with a cold look. ?You may sit here? he said pulling out two dusty chairs ?The Mistress will be with you shortly?, the two boys sat down and the man soon left the room. ?We found it Matt? Mick exclaimed ?Now we can find Jamie? ?Mick there?s some thing you haven?t thought, this is the house they could kill us!? Mick?s eyes widened with terror ?Matt what if those wolves we herd were theirs!?? ?Lets get the hell out of here? Matt yelled as he stood up and ran towards the door.
Chapter 8
The Widow


As Matt ran up to the door it opened quickly, with a flash a beautiful woman pale as a ghost in a raggedy blood red cape was in front of the boys. ?Hello? she said in a sweet tone Matt stood there looking in awe ?H-hello? Mick let out over in his seat, ?I must inquirer, why are you in my house?? she asked blankly. ?Well? Matt began ?WHERE?S MY SISTER!? Mick yelled bashing his fists on the table making the china rattle, Matt rubbed his forehead in discomfort ?What do you mean, we have not had any passerby's in quiet some time you by far are the only ones at your age?. Matt spoke for both of them now ?I?m sorry my friend and I are looking for his sister, she went missing a while back and we thought she may have ended up here.? the woman let out a small laugh ?You think this is that haunted house, my boy you have gotten this all wrong I am but a lonely Widow. Please sit down and we may discuss these matters further?, in a quick motion she had grabbed his arm and forcibly placed him next to Mick at the table.
She moved gracefully as if she was floating, Matt?s palms were sweating and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prick up as he watched her sit at the table. ?Now, you may stay here for the night and we will take you to town tomorrow? ?No! we aren't leaving untill we find my sister, I know you have her here!? ?My boy I am telling you I have not seen your sister in this house.? she replied calmly. There was a loud clashing noise and the butler had come threw the doors with a great cart of food platters, he quickly rolled up and placed a plate in front of each of them it smelt so heavenly the butler lifted the covers off and a huge amount of smoke rushed up into the air dissipating into nothing. The woman picked up a worn out fork ?Please eat.? She ordered them, Matt did nothing but watch what Mick did ?No thanks I think we would rather go to bed.? Mick said coldly. Matt?s Hair was still standing up something didn?t feel right ?Very well? the woman snapped her fingers and the butler walked over to the boys ?Follow me will you? he told Matt ?Um sure? he stood up and walked off with the butler leaving Mick with the widow.
This was a different butler not like the man at the door this guy looked like he was free, the butler before moved like an older slave frail and brittle. But not him he looked like he hadn?t a care in the world ?Where are we going?? Matt asked him ?To your room, where else?, Matt liked this guy not like the others he seemed like he could be trusted. They arrived at a door it was so worn chipped on the sides, hinges were rusted. The butler opened the door and walked inside Matt quickly followed, He was amazed at how beautiful the room was. Chandelier on the ceiling, below that a queen size bed the room was covered in Persian rugs on the floor, ?One of the nicest rooms in the mansion? announced the butler as he left the room ?Good night? he said as he shut the door.





Back in the dinning room Mick was out of control yelling and screaming at the woman pleading with her to tell him where his beloved sister was. But all she could say was ?I haven't the slightest idea? and she was so calm not even breaking a sweat, Mick stood up from his chair with a loud screech and crash as it hit the floor ?Now why?d you have to go and do that young one? The woman snapped her fingers filling the room with an eerie echo. Within seconds two disgusting looking men shot out of the floor and landed with a large thud making the ground shake they?re skin was rotten and chunks of skin were missing showing exposed skin to the air. ?What the hell!? Mick yelled as he pulled out his knife, the woman chuckled and snapped her fingers again making the men rush at Mick. She turned and walked off laughing, Mick was afraid they looked as if they didn?t want to catch him more like they wanted food! They moaned and groaned as they steadily walked towards him, like something out of a horror flick he thought to himself as he raised his primitive weapon ready to strike. The first man grabbed on to Mick with such force it almost knocked him off of his feet the man opened his mouth drool dripped from his mouth onto Mick?s neck he was going to bite!
The man plunged his head at Mick he screamed and stabbed into the man?s body and pushed him back moments away from the bite that would seal his fate, the man stumbled back as dark red blood began spewing from the wound onto the floor in front of him. The man began to walk forward again as if it hadn?t hurt him at all, but luckily the fresh blood on the floor slipped him up making him plunge to the ground. The other man groaned and turned away from Mick and onto the man lying on the floor beside him and began eat, Mick took this chance to ?try? to find a way out he ran to the door he came in. He tugged and rattled the doorknob but it wouldn't budge ?Shit!? he yelled out, he looked back at the men a gruesome sight lay upon his eyes not only that but the sound of crunching bone and flesh. Blood was everywhere, then the man feasting upon his comrade looked up at Mick with bloodlust in his eyes. The man slowly stood up from his meal and began walking at Mick again ?Not again!? he yelled, he ran to the door that the butler had come out of and stopped in front of it praying it was unlocked but there was no luck it was locked too. Mick began to panic he looked around scanning the room for another door as the man closed in on his prey, but those were the only two ?What am I going to do!? he asked himself looking at the man walking towards him. Then his eye caught the shine of his knife sticking out of the fallen mans stomach, it was his only chance Mick quickly ran past the man still alive and slid over to the other body. The stench was unbearable Mick thought he was going to barf but managed to tear the knife out of the corpse, He turned around as the man began to swat at him with his arms ?Get away!? he yelled raising the knife up to the man and slashed at the man with his eyes closed. He herd a sharp tearing sound and a thud on the floor, he opened his eyes and blood squirt onto him Mick yelled out in terror as he fell back on the other corpse the man came to and lunged at Mick but this time he was ready. Just as the Monstrous man was about to latch onto Mick?s neck he raised up his knife and stabbed the man in the head, he fell onto of Mick sandwiching him between the other dead body. Mick sighed in relief ?now to find a way out of here.?



Chapter 9
A rude awakening



Matt laid awake in the cold large bed looking into the darkness, thinking about what had happened tonight. John who Matt presumed dead was so young and vibrant what could have been his downfall? Moments passed and Matt heard the door to his room open, he pulled himself up to a sit on the bed ?What was that? and a thud sounded. Matt stood up out of bed and ran over to the switch on the wall flipping it, the lights came on quickly and tensed his eyes making Matt squeeze them shut in pain. As he slowly opened his eyes to a blur he could see the outline of his surroundings, he rubbed on his eyes and was able to see clearly. A man was walking towards him ?Hello?? Matt said dreary the man said nothing but kept walking, Matt walked over to the left and saw the rest of the man. The whole right side had no skin and the muscle was rotting showing exposed bone, Matt?s eyes widened in terror as he stumbled onto the floor. ?Get away!? he yelled as he picked his gun off the table above him ?I- I?ll shoot!? the man didn?t stop he kept coming, Matt could see now the man was drooling and his eyes were rolled back in his head. Matt shook his head as he aimed the gun at the man?s cheast ?I?m warning you for the last time!? he didn?t hesitate he unloaded two shots into the man?s chest cavity, Matt?s adrenalin was running like crazy and he thought he could hear his own heartbeat as he stood up. The man fell to the floor dark brown blood gushing from his mutilated chest, ?What the hell was wrong with that guy!? he said as he cautiously walked towards his katana across the room. It felt like an eternity just walking across the room as if it was in slow motion, he arrived at the man?s corpse which was now drenched in a pool of blood. He felt so ashamed of himself he never wanted to kill anyone, but considering the way this guy looked he considered it a mercy killing. ?I?m sorry? Matt said faintly as he continued he way to his sword arriving faster than he imagined he tied the string to his belt connecting the sheath and himself together, when all of a sudden he heard a low cry Matt turned on the balls of his feet and saw that the man had risen from his eternal slumber and was walking towards Matt again. ?What the hell!? this time Matt drew his sword and held it steady waiting for the man to get close he closed his eyes and swung decapitating the man with one fatal swing. Matt opened his eyes the head was on the floor but the body kept moving towards him, Matt backed away until the body fell with a great fall. Matt withdrew his sword and took out the pistol he checked the chamber and jumped over the body avoiding the blood gushing from it?s neck and out the door.
The hall was dark and Matt couldn?t see anything he quickly took out his flashlight and held it with the gun in front of him, How long had he been sleeping he hadn?t the slightest clue all he knew is that he hoped he wouldn?t run into more of those zombie like men! Matt continued down the hall scanning it with the small faint light, he reached the main hall that brought you to the kitchen he doubted Mick was still in there but he had to check. Matt quickly zipped down the stairs and ran up to the big double doors he heard footsteps inside, he quickly opened up the doors pushing them with all his might. ?Mick!? he yelled rushing into the room ?Matt!? he heard in reply ?Where are you?? Matt yelled ?Here!? Mick yelled back raising his hand in the air. Matt ran over to him still sandwiched between the two dead men ?You had a run in with these shit faced freaks too?? Mick nodded as he and Matt pushed the top man off of him, Mick stood up and tore the knife out of the corpse?s head. He wiped it off on his shirt and looked at Matt ?how long have you been here?? Matt asked as he put away his gun ?About two hours? Mick looked back at the men on the floor ?We found the house Matt, Jamie?s here somewhere? Matt nodded ?We need to find that butler that led me to my room? Matt told him ?Are you crazy! that guy works for the crazy bitch that set those things on us!? ?No he was different, and I bet he will help us? Mick shook his head ?Whatever Matt just as long as we find her.

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR=DimGray]Personally I think you should re-do chapter 1. Here's a couple of mistakes I found.[/COLOR]

[QUOTE]A cold dark day in the life of Matt Sprig. He was at his parents funeral. Matt?s parents had died a week ago in a car crash, Matt was devastated. The court had told him he must go to his aunt and uncle.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Blue]See. Your sentences need periods and commas in the right places.[/COLOR]

[QUOTE]He was filled with sadness and hate. He had to move into a house with people he hated, that wasn?t even big enough for two people! (the next day) ?Ashes to ashes, dust to dust may you rest in peace,? Matt?s head kept cycling those words that the priest had said, Matt couldn?t take it. The pain was just too unbearable. He had to realize that his parents were dead. So he covered his sadness with anger, anger for what the court has ruled in favor.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Blue]Same problem as before. plus you would need to reword that. it's kind of hard to read.
The next sentece, I saw nothing I couldn't understand. Just add a comma between 'pai' and 'to'.[/COLOR]
[QUOTE]A week later.

Matt woke up that morning angry and sad as ever. He just lied there and started getting visions of his Parents, but he kicked them out of his mind. The pain was to alarming, the wound was still to fresh. So he began to stare at the ceilingm it was white with yellow fade spots. And he began to wonder, what did the churches ceiling look like? He couldn't recall.? Matt yawned, ?Well I better get up got to go to school? as he threw off the covers to go get dressed[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Blue]Spot the difference?[/COLOR]

[madwitch5]

I agree there I have to redo alot of the first chapters, I started this a while ago back in 6th grade thanks fer yer feedback

[Break]

For sheer endurance, well done. Work on grammar, it's so important to writing. :)