How to tell off.

[Daasheus]

What is a nice way to tell a girl that likes you that you don't like her without losing her as a good freind?

[Sandy]

Frankly speaking, there's no way you can avoid not hurting her feelings. She might not show it openly, but it'll sting.

[I]But[/I] you can do it so that she'll get over it quickly and move on. Just be honest and open with your feelings, and don't try any of that old "it's not you, it's me"-crap, or worse even, give her false impressions. Explain that you don't feel the same way for her as she does for you, but it doesn't stop you from remaining her friend.

I assume her "liking" has only reached the level of a crush, which means quick and full recovery. Just... don't be a jerk and you'll do fine.

[DeadSeraphim]

[font=arial][size=1][color=indigo] "It's not [I]me[/I], it's [I]you[/I]. Try someone a little more in your league next time, kay? ;)"[/color][/size][/font]

[Rachmaninoff]

I don't know if there is a nice way, at least one where you won't lose them as a good friend. Though that depends on whether or not it's just a crush or more than that. The only advice I have is to be as honest as possible when explaining that though you like them, it's not any more than friendship.

Either they will accept it or they won't. Best of luck.

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]I'm with Sandy - she's gonna get hurt anyhow, but the best thing to do is to be gentle, to be honest, and yes, for the love of God, do [i]not[/i] use the phrase "it's not you, it's me." Ultimately, that's what every rejection comes down to, but you don't have to say those words - and you shouldn't, because they suck.

The only other piece of advice is this: please, please, don't stop talking to her. Don't over-think this and say "oh, well maybe she needs some time away from me," or even "I'm uncomfortable right now so I'm totally going to IGNORE my friend!" There's no excuse for avoiding the girl after you confront her. If [i]she[/i] doesn't want to talk to you, she better tell you so, otherwise it's not your job to figure that out.

If you think about it, avoiding her afterward will only give her the impression that you despise her or something (which, clearly, you do not). Act normal; [i]maybe[/i] give her a day or two (OR TWO, *[b]not[/b]* seven ><), and keep being her friend.

I don't know the girl, and everyone's different, so I can only speak by experience on this subject, but for me, absolutely nothing is more annoying that being completely ignored by a guy once something is over/has happened. :mad: [/color]

[Space-chan]

just say:It's not that i dont LIKE you,it's just that i LIKE the way we are now.I LIKE your personality when we're being friends--->beware:never ever ever use the word dont LIKE.It's double pain.

[Sandy]

[quote name='Space-chan']just say:It's not that i dont LIKE you,it's just that i LIKE the way we are now.I LIKE your personality when we're being friends[/quote]

In my opinion, that's just one of the cheesy movie-phrases that are best to be avoided. I don't think there's any need to beat around the bushes like that. Doesn't "I just want to be friends, that's all" sound a whole lot of better and honest?

[Riku]

[quote name='Sandy']In my opinion, that's just one of the cheesy movie-phrases that are best to be avoided. I don't think there's any need to beat around the bushes like that. Doesn't "I just want to be friends, that's all" sound a whole lot of better and honest?[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1][FONT=Tahoma]Yes, Sandy, that is the most honest answer... but sometimes, it doesn't work the first time. >>;

Anyway, basically, there really isn't a way that I know of that you can't hurt that girl's feelings even a little, but that's natural. You can't really help it, if the person likes you, it's only natural for them to be hurt by you telling them you don't like them. People have this hope of the other person to tell them they like them to, which is why she told you. But anyway, I digress... I'm just stating how I feel when I tell someone that I like them.

Well, as Sandy said, the honest way to go is just saying that you'd just want to still be good friends and don't want to lose her friendship. All I'm saying is that no matter how awkward it is around her, don't ignore her. I mean, just because something deep happened between you guys is no reason to where you can't talk to her anymore. That means you're just as bad as any jerk out there. This should make your friendship stronger, much less you guys will be really close to each other after this.

Another thing is that if she really was a "good friend", then she will understand and also still be friends with you. If she was only your friend because of the fact that she liked you, then that's not good either. Some girls aren't all that clingy and don't easily get angry if they're turned down, we move on and hope for the best in both of us. That's how I feel, anyway, and what I've done before.

However, if she gets all jealous because you talk to other girls and you're going out with someone else, if she then tries to break you guys apart and tries to keep you for herself, then she is definitely not someone you should be friends with. Just saying for future refrence. I'm sure she'll just accept it and still be your friend, helping you out in whatever way she can.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Guest darknightangel]

[QUOTE][QUOTE]Originally Posted by [b]Space-chan[/b][I]
just say:It's not that i dont LIKE you,it's just that i LIKE the way we are now.I LIKE your personality when we're being friends[/I][/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by [b]Sandy[/b][I]
In my opinion, that's just one of the cheesy movie-phrases that are best to be avoided. I don't think there's any need to beat around the bushes like that. Doesn't "I just want to be friends, that's all" sound a whole lot of better and honest?[/I]
[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Blue]Guys, "it's just that i like the way we are now" (good friends) and "I just want to be friends"=SAME THING.The point is [b]To remain just good friends.[/b]
If talking about honest,I think Space-chan's words are more to what we feel when we're being told to be admired by someone whom we think only as friends.
I've actually experienced these kind of things and it's not something that can be solved with just 1 simple sentence and for me Space chan's words aint cheesy movie-phrases.Imagine if someone (eg [b]KANAME CHIDORI/CHII/CHISE/
anybody you like [/b])really does exists, would [b]"[COLOR=Black]I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS,[u]THAT'S ALL[/u]" satisfy you????[/COLOR][/b][/COLOR]

Anyway,both aren't wrong.What's the most important is the way we express our feeling,ney?^___^

[Anakoni Stark]

[SIZE=1] "Well, you like me? I [I] like [/I] you and all...but not on that level....No, I'm not saying that I dont like you, I'm just saying that, I dont think a romantic relationship will work out between us, although this friendship level stuff is working out very very well."[/SIZE]

[Boo]

[size=1]"You're not my taste, but you may hang out with me if you want."[/size]

[Sandy]

[QUOTE=darknightangel][COLOR=Blue]Imagine if someone (eg [b]KANAME CHIDORI/CHII/CHISE/
anybody you like [/b])really does exists, would [b]"[COLOR=Black]I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS,[u]THAT'S ALL[/u]" satisfy you????[/COLOR][/b][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Unfortunately clinging onto a real guy the same way you seem to do for anime/manga bishies (the names don't say anything to me, btw) will only cause problems. Not taking "no" for an answer will only do harm in real relationships.

Also, Boo, I think the style of approach you suggested will make the girls cling onto the boy even more. In my experience, girls are suckers for indifferent guys. ;D

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Just be honest with her about your feelings, sit her down and explain that you simply are interested in a romantic relationship, though you might want to be less blunt about it than I have. Say you'd like to remain friends as her friendship is important to you, and if she bursts into tears, slaps you in the face, or kicks you in the nads, well I'd say you probably didn't succeed.[/SIZE]

[Boo]

[quote name='Sandy']Also, Boo, I think the style of approach you suggested will make the girls cling onto the boy even more. In my experience, girls are suckers for indifferent guys. ;D[/quote][size=1]Oh, that explains a lot of awkward situations.[/size]

[Guest darknightangel]

[QUOTE]Originally Posted by [b]Sandy[/b][I]
Unfortunately clinging onto a real guy the same way you seem to do for anime/manga bishies (the names don't say anything to me, btw) will only cause problems. [/I][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Blue]...but if not doing so,wouldn't it sound similar to avoiding?Good friends need to hang together right?I think the goal of "Telling the nice way" and "Remain friends" will not be achieved if it goes this way...[/COLOR]
:animestun :animestun :animestun
[IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c193/Lee_arc7/newed-1.jpg[/IMG]
[COLOR=darkorange][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5]clinging is fun............dontcha think?[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Sara]

[QUOTE=darknightangel][COLOR=Blue] if someone (eg [b]KANAME CHIDORI/CHII/CHISE/
anybody you like [/b])really does exists, would [b]"[COLOR=Black]I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS,[u]THAT'S ALL[/u]" satisfy you????[/COLOR][/b][/COLOR][/QUOTE][color=#b0000b][size=1]I am alarmed at your implication that most people on this board are socially dysfunctional enough as not to be able to relate to the situation of crushing on a non-anime character.[/size][/color]

[Ellerby]

[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Try to blame their liking you on a past relationship of theirs.

"Really, you're feelings for me are just due to you're in rebound me. I guarantee in about a month you won't like me."

or if you want to be insanely honest...

Take her out on a date anyway and see how it goes. You might be surprised. :)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Daasheus]

Thanks for the help! She is still a good freind of mine and she has given up liking me.

[Japan]

[QUOTE]just say:It's not that i dont LIKE you,it's just that i LIKE the way we are now.I LIKE your personality when we're being friends--->beware:never ever ever use the word dont LIKE.It's double pain.[/QUOTE]

[quote name='Sandy']In my opinion, that's just one of the cheesy movie-phrases that are best to be avoided. I don't think there's any need to beat around the bushes like that. Doesn't "I just want to be friends, that's all" sound a whole lot of better and honest?[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Actually, that is the best way. I told my best friend that I liked him and he basically told me that. He and I are best friends still. You are basically saying that you still like them as a friend but not in that way. [/COLOR]