Anger

[vegeta rocker]

How do you all deal with anger management?

I have been getting very angry lately at nothing too big, and i am a very passive aggressive person.

But lately i am going off and recently kicked a hole in the wall. I am have been getting so angry i have been scratching at my arm at times and not even realizing it.

So i need some advice from you guys, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Charles]

Do you discuss what is bothering you with people or do you tend to bottle it up? Let's get that out of the way, first of all, since I find that simply talking about what is making you angry tends to be the most successful avenue of relief. WHAT SAY YOU VEGA ROCKER?

[Sazumechan]

Well I find music calms me down the most.Talking works too.But for me heavy, screaming music.If I lip sync the parts where it screams I feel as if I am screaming my problems out.Oh and loud music that I can blast always helps.But everyone is different so I hope I was some help.Peace out!

[Cat]

I found that music helps me with anger. Loud heavy music is the best to use for as Sazumechan has said you can sing along with the screaming or loudness. I also found that some times soft music can calm me down. The peaceful beat and words say that anger isn't going to get you any where.

[Farto the Magic]

[FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=DarkGreen]You need an outlet. Beat something stupid with something else stupid. Like last year, I had the same thing. I beat a hundred pound concrete block with a log that came from a tree in my backyard. It helped a lot. I ended up nearly wearing the log to nothing. I named it...and then I burned it.


Ashes to ashes, poop to poop.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Revelation]

[size=1][color=#4B5B5B]Oh the joys of anger management. Well, like Charles said: Do you talk your problems out or do you bottle it up? It's good to talk things out, even if you don't feel comfortable, because once you start talking about one problem, another will pop out and everything you've held in will just completely spill.

Another thing is, figure out what's making you so angry. Resolve that problem and if it still keeps coming back, again, talk to someone.

Another way is exercise. Do something active, try to get your mind off of what's making you angry and when you're good and calm, resolve it.[/size][/color]

[Andrew]

[SIZE=1]Sounds to me like angry-teen syndrome is setting in.

Anyways, I tend to beat my anger out with exercise (not nearly enough mind you), both heavy and easy-listening music (like the others have already mentioned), and nothing beats playing the Mercs section of Resi 4 to get your anger out. Although when I lose a lot it tends to increase my anger so that's a double-edged one right there.

Although Charles and Revie have suggested talking about it, I find that makes things worse for me because by talking about it, you're fixating on it. That may just be me but if you're the same as me in that respect you need to find a vent (like one of the ones above) that suits you and start expressing your anger in a healthier manner. I find that laughing and joking (and generally taking the piss of other people, albeit in a friendly way) helps a great deal too.

Perhaps you could tell us what sort of hobbies you have or things you like to do and then find a healthy outlet based on these things?[/SIZE]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue]I could tell you what I do when I'm angry, but really the trick is to find what helps you the best. Since often, depending on what I'm mad about, what works differs. Sometimes playing something like Doom in God mode is all it takes, other times loud rock music helps and yet sometimes soft classical works better.

I've also used exercise, working on something I enjoy doing like scrap booking. And even talking with someone works since sometimes once I've gotten it out of my system I feel better.

The best advice I have is to do something and if it doesn't help try something else. The worse thing you can do is nothing, letting your anger bottle up until you do what you did where you kicked a hole in the wall. [/COLOR]

[Charles]

Hey Vegeta Rocker, is everything all right? I am interested in an update.

Also, there is merit in what Andrew said, but I wonder--would a good compromise be keeping a personal journal where you can vent and draw your feelings if need be? Have you ever tried it--a personal discourse?

[vegeta rocker]

Thanks for the concern Charles, it means a lot to me. Been busy so i haven't had much time to be on Ob.

I love writing and i have been doing it less often as of late, that is probably a big reason why i am exploding at things.

I am 5 months away from my Bachleors Degree and i am working and interning constantly. I think all the stuff is going to my head. So i am trying to throw all the anger and frustration into my work to get me going. Seems to be working pretty well.

As for whether i bottle up my anger, yes i typically do. Its not something i do on purpose, i am passive aggressive by nature so it comes naturally to me.

I will take the advice and also try to find a physical actvity to help work it out.

Thanks guys!

[Sho Ayori]

While I am a very passive and easy-going person, I can't deny that I get majorly stressed at sometimes, even over something trivial. What I normally try and do is either talk it out with someone who will take the time to listen to me, or I just take it inwards and settle down naturally in my own way. With this I normally end up drawing, listening to music or just taking a shower. Showers seem to be great stress relievers, it works wonders for me.

[Kenshin DX]

Start fights over the internet. You can let it all out and not get your *** kicked.

Seriously though it depends on what kind of anger you have. Some people will say exercise will help but thats only a temp relief and is used to control stupid feelings of anger. Than there is deep emotional pain anger which can't be solved by running 100 miles. If it's the former take up a sport or jog. If it's the latter see someone you can talk to.

[Starwind]

I took up boxing.

That seemed to do it for me. Nothing better than getting to pound somebody else, and even getting pound yourself sometimes to help you feel better.

Okay, it sounds weird. Feeling better after getting wailed on, I know, but I swear, it works. I took up alot of different martial arts because I enjoyed it so much. I love that the feeling you get at the end of a good fight, regardless if you win or lose. Hell, even waking up after getting knocked out can feel pretty good sometimes.

[Fall]

If you ask me, anger management doesn't work. But that could just be me. I'm currentlly being forced to attend anger management sessions, but the whole "management" thing hasn't even so much as made me blink twice yet.

You[i] do[/i] need to let anger out, there's just certain ways that can help more than others. It depends on what best suits you. Some things can really help vent your anger more than what it would for other people, it's really what works for you.

Though sitting there, thinking about the whole situation does nothing but make it worse. That's why I can't see how "talking about it" is supposed to "help"... All it does is boil me over. Again.

...music does it for me. And really laying into something.

[Guest Senza]

Anger management does nothing but piss me off even more. Music works, but so does anime. The best thing that works for me is to just punch something. Put your fist through a wall or something. Sometimes, it truly is the best remedy. Life is a basketball in chains brother, that what freed the fish.

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Get a boxing bag and a pair of gloves, beat the thing until you can't lift your arms and I guarantee you'll feel better. Bottling anger is the worst possible thing that can be done, as you are nearly certain to vent it at people who did nothing to deserve an outburst.[/SIZE]

[Nomurah!]

[COLOR=Magenta][B]How do I get rid of my anger? I visit Group Sounds. Yeah. Ah yes... the world is back in order whenever I'm posting pictures of cats across the internet. Other than that, Nomura here isn't a very angry person, but when I do angry, I go lycan, so watch out.[/B][/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]It's hard to anger me. I get peeved - in fact I happen to be peeved most of the time. That's mostly cuz I'm so sad that I let out little blips of anger and keep a pissed-off facade just to hide my sorrow.

But right now, for example I am really, REALLY freaking angry, so I figured now's as good a time as ever to make this post. When I get mad, it's almost always concentrated on a single person. A person who irrevocably angers me...

You see, if I care about them, I can never be 'angry' at them That's my definition of 'care' or of 'love' is that while they can disappoint me or make me sad from time to time, I will forgive them. But then there's certain people who know how to push me to the edge without revert. And only then is it not depression, but instead a fuming anger.

For example, there is a girl at my table in Biology who, no matter what, I [i]will[/i] get into an arguement with during each class. Now, this bi- I mean person is one who has many of the same friends I do, falls into the same 'clique'.... I hate her. HATE. Everything she says sets me off and the same goes for her. Both of us are insanely stubborn and she's got that whole 'oh, youre stupid, cuz everything I think is right' thing going on and I've got that '(expletive) you (expletive) your way of life and (expletive) you, you (expletive chain)' thing as a response.

I just KNOW I'm gunna get sued or in trouble if this school year doesn't hurry up and end >_<

But that's not who got me mad today. Today it's my grandma who has the same attitude, except I can't yell at my grandma or even try and reason with her. This is where my 'anger management' comes into play.

First, I put on the angriest music I can find. Preferredly something heavy, mean, and with plenty of stuff for me to scream (today -- [B]Static X[/B]) then I turn on the Xbox and put in the most violent game in my viciity (tody -- [B]Halo 2[/B]) and I beat the freaking tar out of my enemies while screaming and occassionally laughing manically. Then I write mean-spirited poetry. Cuz I'm just that cliche.[/COLOR]

[Allamorph]

[quote name='Gavin][SIZE=1']Get a boxing bag and a pair of gloves, beat the thing until you can't lift your arms and I guarantee you'll feel better. Bottling anger is the worst possible thing that can be done, as you are nearly certain to vent it at people who did nothing to deserve an outburst.[/SIZE][/quote]
[FONT=Arial]I tried that, actually. I didn't really feel better at all. I felt more like I'd just beat the living snot out a boxing bag. (Actually, it was a piano, and I had no gloves on, but eh....)

I suppose what happened was that I'd quit being angry by the time my brain sent the "punch piano" command to my arm, since that's what usually happens. And in that respect, I've been told that I bottle stuff up too much and that I need to get rid of it, but I honestly haven't a clue what that means. I mean, in order to bottle up anger, don't you kind of have to hold onto it? I rarely find an incentive to remain angry at something or someone unless they absolutely need to be beat, and that doesn't happen too often. (Which is good, I suppose; if I went around beating people all the time, nobody'd like me all that much. And I can't have that, now can I? :animesmil)

This isn't to say that I don't ever get angry. I have been quite furious once or twice, and apparently I am somewhat scary. (I never take the time to notice, personally....) I generally just let stuff roll off me, though, and I only pretend to be irritated if there might be some humor gained by it.

But that's just me.[/FONT]

[Nomurah!]

[COLOR=Magenta][B]Alot of the time, when I'm angry, I listen to some real nice music, like let's say The Number 12 Looks Like You, or some old Underoath, as well as some Haste The Day and I finish the headbanging sessions off with a little bit of The Agony Scene. And then I cool down after that with some calm music, or some sad song. That helps me alot. Or I can just mindlessly run over people on Driver or GTA or some game like that. And If my parents aren't home, I'll scream alot, but of course I scream alot anyway. :)[/B][/COLOR]

[Guest Boy]

[size=1][color=darkred]hmm... generally I am a veryvery calm person. I don't get angry often. The only things that make me angry are when people are being very mean or judgemental of another person, or to myself. I especially cannot deal with homophobic people, or people that are rude to others because of their appearance. I just do not understand people that are incredibly negative, for no good reason, regarding other people.

And when I do get mad, it's usually not very good. I can get to the point where I am shaking. I rarely get violent though, I really cannot stand hostility. I'm a little girlscout, haha!
I usually deal with my anger thru writing. I like to keep a little log on my computer, and I just type in that. My anger just melts away if I write everything down. Music and video games are also very helpful. Or maybe even a nap. Aaand, on rare occassions, when I have the supplies for it, I make Hamtaro origami!

Oh. Or I cry. Haha. faaaag.[/color][/size]

[Johnny Justjohnny]

[COLOR=Gray]Too angry? Chill the **** out. Still angry? Nothing I can do to help ya.[/COLOR]

[Sojio]

Big Sky this thread is designed to help people with their anger problems and saying stuff like that isn't very funny.

Hey Vegeta rocker i know where your coming from dude. It sucks alot lol. I recently came out of a bad spree of anger problems. Me and my friends usually as a joke give each other dead arms for fun. Kinda weird i know but its a just a thing we do.

I had had a preatty bad week (failed a couple of test etc.) and i wasnt in the mood for fun n games so when my friend deadened my arm i virtually knocked him out.

Luckily he knew what i was going through and we sorted it out fairly quickly.

One thing i always try to vent my anger is find a large oval or park, walk to the middle and scream :animesigh AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

lol i hope it helps and dont worry everyone gets angry lol :p