Emancipation from Parents and College Opportunities?

[Trigun 11]

[COLOR=DarkGreen][SIZE=1]
As some of you know, I made my high school?s dance team for next year. I?ll be a senior next year. Obviously I?ll have practices and meetings. Thing is, just recently we had an impromptu meeting. It was the 23rd. My mother left for a three week business trip on the 21st. I couldn?t go to Prom because of her trip. She doesn?t come back till May 10th. My birthday is May 7th.

My mom knew about this meeting before she left, And yet she was complaining about how my coach was being immature And irresponsible about calling this last minute meeting. She is now thinking about taking Dance away because of this.
She says that I?m not the reason why she?s thinking about taking It away. It?s my coach. I don?t think it?s fair, period. I?m the one who tried out and made it. Just cause it wasn?t on my mother?s ?schedule? doesn?t mean crap.

My aunt, whom I talked to about this, is thinking that it?s cause of my little brother. She also says my mother needs to realize that I'll run into impromptu meetings etc as an adult so why is it so bad?

Let me explain, and before you all go telling me I?m wrong, I rarely complain about having to give up things for my little brother and I feel like dirt for even bringing it up.

He has ADD/ADHD, OCD, PTSD and anger problems. I understand that he?s a special needs kid, but I?ve had to give up so much for him. I literally gave up my whole entire summer this past year just for him. My mom needed someone to help babysit him, and she doesn?t trust my then 13 year old sister doing it. That?s just the beginning of the list of things I?ve had to give up. I had to give up playing Basketball this year due to my little brother.

I put how I feel on the back burner all the time, just because I know it?ll upset my mother if I tell her how I really feel. I?ve told her, and I feel lower than anything for it. My mother admits to doing the reverse totem pole as I call it with me and my siblings. She gives my brother most of her attention, then my sister, and then me. Meaning: I 99.9% of the time get none at all. I?m usually left to my own devices and I?m more of the loner that I am.

My biological father and I have started talking again, we haven?t talked since March of ?06. Him and my mother aren?t on the best of terms(that?s why I haven?t been able to talk to him in so long) and he?s willing to have me come out there. Hell, he was willing to pay for me to come out and visit him for 5 days over Thanksgiving break. She wouldn?t let me. What I mean by come out there is that he?s willing to have me live with him my last year of school(senior).

I want to go live with him simply because I cannot take it anymore here at my home. [I was suicidal in April of ?06 and January of ?07. My mother is swearing that I refused to accept help. I keep on bugging her, that was her words I call it reminding, her about my needing help. She tells me that I?m on some list at the Mental Health place my brother sees his therapist.]

My dad knows this and he knows the games that my mom plays, as well as I do. I want to go live with my father even though my mom has prevented me from seeing him for, it?ll be 17 years come May 7th. (my 17th birthday)

I?ve tried everything I can. He?s going to write my mother a ?nice? letter explaining that I?ve expressed interest in having my senior year be spent with him. I?m afraid that once my mother gets the letter, she?ll start yelling and getting mad at me for even just thinking about it. He says that if she won?t do it the easy way, he?ll either fight for custody or pay for my emancipation from my mother.

I want to go to the Art Institute of Pittsburg for college. Yes. The one in Pennsylvania. =D

This is what I want to do: [URL=http://www.artinstitutes.edu/pittsburgh/programs_detail.asp?PID=49 ]Get my Bachelor of Science in Digital Media Production[/URL]

Well AIP is having a program called Summer Studio July 18-22 this summer. ?The Video Production program gives students an opportunity to develop basic skills in the world of moving image technology. Students will learn camera operation, lighting, editing, scripting and production techniques to produce a short video.? That?s the description in the booklet.

That be what I?m going for. Thing is, it costs nearly $500. I have to send in a recommendation letter from a art/technology teacher or a guidance counselor and $50 and the application. It has to be postmarked by June 30th. They?ll refund the money if I am not accepted into the program. My dad has said he?ll pay for it (meaning $350 that my mother gets for child support that?s supposed to be used for me that I never see any of,from him and then the other $150). My aunt says if we can get him to guarantee payment, she?ll pay for my plane tickets to and from. I just have to convince my mother.

I'm wanting opinions about my situation and what I can do about it. Sorry for the rant but I trust you guys. =D[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Retribution]

[size=1]Well on the whole, I genuinely believe you've been pretty mature about the entire situation you're in. What usually happens in advice threads is the OP gets hacked apart by the repliers saying "omg you're wrong," but in the case... I think you're largely right.

Your mom's schedule does in fact matter in terms of letting you join Dance, because she has to work out transportation logistics. However, one would think she would've factored that in if she let you try out in the first place.

In any event, I think your mother is being at least somewhat unfair, but please understand the strains placed upon her. She's a single parent with three children, one of which has special needs. While it's not necessarily fair, those considered to be the strongest and best off will slip through the cracks if there's limited attention to spread around.

I'd recommend you get your mother to talk to both your father and aunt. Your father might say he'll pay $350 which will be cut out of your child support, but you can't be sure if that'd be cutting out a vital part of your mother's budgeting. And hey, if your mother says no just to spite you/your father, I don't know what to tell you. Just bear her for another year and you'll be out of the house.[/size]

[Whiteblaze]

[FONT=Arial]I say go with what you really want to do. That would be to go to the Summer Program, right? I see no reason why you can't and shouldn't if you make the necessary arrangements.

This program will likely give you exposure to and a better idea of this area of concentration. There's nothing like getting experience with something you plan on pursuing in college

As for moving with your dad senior year, I would say go for that too. If you really feel that it's what you want, and even if it takes some extra steps.

There's nothing wrong with helping out your family, but there's also nothing wrong with preparing yourself for your future and looking out for your own well being. If you get to a point where you are "suicidal" then something needs to be done. Regardless if you move out or not, you need to at least look out for your self too. Giving up/sacrificing things for family is one thing, but taking everything like it doesn't affect you any is another.

I would simply do what I felt was the best option as a whole.

And I wouldn't worry about that $350 cutting down your mom's budget. No offense to her, but she is a grown woman and can find a way to deal with a $350 budget cut.[/FONT]

[Trigun 11]

[size=1]oo; wow. Someone thinks I'm mature about this and that I'm right? Can I ask just [b][i]how[/i][/b] you think so ?

Thing is my mother doesn't take me to dance practices. I WALK. I don't mind the mile and a half walk from my house to my school, I honestly don't. Only thing I am needing her for is the whole help with paying for camp thing.

Also, sorry for not clarifying. She isn't a single parent. Her and my step dad celebrated I think their sixt or seventh year anniversary this year. My step-dad works at Cessna, working on private jets. We make pretty good money.

I talked to my aunt. Plane tickets are under $250 so she says she'll pay. If I get my mother to say yes to this thing, All I will need from her is a small bit of spending money that'd include cab money. I'm figuring on this thing being a total of $600. My mother didn't like the fundraiser we were doing and she offered just to PAY the $400 total for the fundraiser. So quite honestly, when she doesn't really rely on the child support for anything, why not just help me?

Whiteblaze, I was talking to my dad and he told me that the emancipation process could take up to a year. It's 5/5/07 now. My 18th birthday will be 5/7/08. So it might be useless. You and my dad share the same thought; if I'm feeling suicidal while living here, something [b]NEEDS[/B] to be done.

I was also told that since I am almost seventeen(birthday is in two days) that I could most likely choose where I wanted to live if my dad didn not give up custody rights to me. He says he didn't, and he says he's going to check the divorce decree. f it also doesn't designate sole custody, I can actually just go to court and tell the judge to whom I wish to live.[/size]

[eleanor]

[color=dimgray] Looks like your mom is just being unfair to me. If your family is making good money, the least she could do is let you go to a summer program and hire a someone to watch your brother. And you sister would be 15, right? I was babysitting kids since I was 14, and I've dealt with mentally ill kids in such situations.

I'm guessing you've already tried to talk to your mom, but it doesn't hurt to try again. Good luck with everything. :)[/color]

[Whiteblaze]

[QUOTE=Curse][size=1]Whiteblaze, I was talking to my dad and he told me that the emancipation process could take up to a year. It's 5/5/07 now. My 18th birthday will be 5/7/08. So it might be useless. You and my dad share the same thought; if I'm feeling suicidal while living here, something NEEDS to be done.

I was also told that since I am almost seventeen(birthday is in two days) that I could most likely choose where I wanted to live if my dad didn not give up custody rights to me. He says he didn't, and he says he's going to check the divorce decree. f it also doesn't designate sole custody, I can actually just go to court and tell the judge to whom I wish to live.
[size][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Arial]Yeah, I did sort of think something like that would take a while. But I mostly meant what path you could take that would allow you to live with your dad so you can hopefully be in a better situation. And good, you've already got that in mind.

The way I see it, it's a great thing to help people we love because they need us, and it is also great if we sometimes look out for our own well being too. In helping people we love you should not come to a situation where you feel this unhappy.

I hope that everything works out, Curse.

*edit* Happy 17th![/FONT]