Writing Community Anthology Thread

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]Sorry everyone I've been playing too much Guitar Hero 2.

Big Sky- That was a good read. Pretty well written and very imaginative. Some of the descriptions ("worse than Hitler's rotting corpse") wore a little thin like a broken down car in a traffic jam.

Cat14- Very enjoyable poems. Very subjective too, you could interpret a wide range of things from them. I liked Grill Cheese the best.

kalon- Haha, good show. A bitter old stuffed animal. I like it.

cat14 again- I like these ones.. except for George Foreman Grill. When you aren't preaching to your audience you do best, lol.

Darren- Your poem is probably the best one I've read today. I'd like to see more.. and perhaps you could post a snippet of your story as well?[/color]

[Darren]

As requested by Deathknight, here's a new poem. Keep in mind I'm very VERY new to poetry. (I wrote my first decent poem last summer. And I only have 6 or so that I kept. The rest gets trashed) I like trying out new rhyme schemes every now and then and this is my second poem without one at all. (I think I already posted my first one when I created it) This one's fresh off the presses. Political, Sacrilegious, Existential, and oh so wonderful, here 'goes...

[CENTER][B]Traits and Traitors[/B]
I feel like a cell in an ocean of blood,
Circling the body, dreaming of bigger things
But propelled by the pulse of a larger being
Forced upon by oxygen to keep him alive

A cell is just a drone and I wish to break free
A heart is just an organ that couldn?t function without the brain
The brain is just electrical impulses that couldn?t think without me
If I am most important, then why am I so forgotten?

What?s to be admired by a four chambered heart
When no one even uses it?
What?s the big deal with intelligence
When violence is preferred over reason?

Contradictions are at their peak;
Betrayals of the mind that I shamefully control
In the end the red cells die
Eventually, The body?s pulse stops

Who can say why either one ends
Maybe we should add another chamber
Truth shows that drones are soul-less
So that?s what we must be

There?s not much difference between the two
Except that the body has a choice.
After all, ?Traits? and ?Traitors?
are really only separated by two little letters[/CENTER]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, and now for the snippet of my story. I haven't read the part that I'm about to submit in quite a while. (You know how stories get... You tend to get lazy and hold them off for long periods of time) So there are probably several editing session in store for it later, but try to look passed all that... It's easy to follow, I hope it's a good read for all of you.

The moon was high in the night sky as it cast its silvery vale over the land of the once powerful Mayan empire. Of course, Adrianne didn?t know it was the Mayan empire. Perhaps it was the Aztec or the Incan ruins, but she never really paid much attention in history to know for sure. It was just one of those feelings that someone gets when they have a dream and Adrianne had been having this particular dream for quite some time.
It was exactly the same every time: Adrianne was hiding in the shrub just in front of a forest that couldn?t survive in the area where the original Mayan settlements were built. However, Adrianne was too caught up in the dream to point out every false-hood she happened upon.
In front of her, the forest cleared into a dry and cracked terrain, much like that of a desert. The tall, eroding mass of a pyramids lay in front of her with hundreds of narrow steps leading up to what looked like a sacrificial altar. All the while, the moon was slowly falling behind the summit of the pyramid until if formed a silver arch behind the blood stained clay bricks. And to the left of the pyramid, stood two dark metal cages that rocked back and forth ominously as some sort of beast spat in anger while two hooded men tried in vain to steady the cages.
Adrianne had seen this a million times. In a few seconds, a beautiful young woman would be carried by four hooded figures up the steps of the pyramid to the altar where a fifth one would meet them. The fifth one, who was established as the leader by his golden-rimmed hood, would then call the two cage holders to let out the animals, or whatever they were. Adrianne had never seen what was inside the cages, because she always had to wake up, but with the way the creatures inside were growling, and grunting, and hissing, she was sure she didn?t want to.
Almost as if her mind had signaled it, the dream continued and a young woman suddenly appeared from behind the pyramid being carried by four black hooded figures, each carrying one limb. She was much younger than Adrianne had remembered. Her dirty, blonde hair dangled freely as she writhed in pain. Despite the blood that had now dried and left her looking like she was wearing a mask of scarlet, it didn?t obscure her beauty. Her arms and legs were badly bruised and cut and she looked as though she had been running through the forest bare foot and her toga style dress was badly torn.
They turned toward the steps and carried the helpless woman up the many stairs. The whole time, the woman didn?t say a word. She didn?t even beg for her life, which Adrianne found very awe inspiring. As the four hooded ones reached the summit, the fifth one appeared and, in a language Adrianne couldn?t understand, signaled for the other hooded men to open the cages. He was holding a book of some kind. Adrianne guessed it contained steps for a ceremony of some sort
But this time, she could feel that something was different. Her mind was telling here that the dream was going to reach the end and she could finally see what was going to happen to the woman.
As the two men opened the cages, Adrianne wanted to look away out of fear, but curiosity held her gaze toward the metal containers.
The bodies of the beasts moved suavely at first, sniffing everything around in violent huffs that could easily be confused with a gorilla?s. The men held a strip from the woman?s dress in front of the black holes of the now open cages. The beasts suddenly and violently emerged from their prisons, spitting and barking in rage, but completely obedient to the hooded figure. The creatures struck Adrianne so off guard that she nearly woke up, but she willed herself to stay in the dream just a bit longer. Upon inspection, the monsters seemed to have the body of a hyena with fangs so long that they couldn?t fit in their own mouths. Adrianne also took notice that they had no eyes; just patches of film that covered where the eyes used to be. She wondered how the creatures were able to get around so easily, but then she saw that the monsters had a snake?s tongue and simply smelled out their prey.
The monsters leapt up the steps and darted for the body of the woman, longing to tear her limb from limb as the dark figures stood idly back and watched. They looked much bigger as the as their powerful legs propelled them up the steps of the pyramid. Adrianne saw that the moon was set behind the pyramid just perfect.
As soon as one of the hyenas came in range it lunged strait for the woman?s breast, aiming to tear out her heart, while the figures held tightly to her wrists and ankles. Adrianne had to suppress the urge to scream out and forced herself to watch. She didn?t know why she felt so strongly for the woman, but something wanted her to stay alive.
An arrow came out of nowhere, piercing the cool night air, and landed in the creature?s skull, answering her prayers. The beast fell and hit one of the hooded figures causing him to lose his grip. In such a swift movement of athleticism and strength, the woman managed to free herself from his grasp and throw him over the side of the pyramid as though she were swatting a fly. The second beast was now in the air with its great claws extended. The woman continued her rampage and lifted her dress to thigh level revealing an object that was blurred to Adrianne. The woman moved so quickly that it made her seem as though she blended into the night air. The next thing she saw was a flash of light so bright, it reminded Adrianne of the sun. The light seemed to be resonating from everything in the world. It was so bright that Adrianne had to shield her eyes.
When it had finally subsided, Adrianne saw five slumping figures on the ground, each one crawling around in agony. She also saw that the second hyena in mid-lunge was nowhere to be found. It was as though it had disappeared or been sucked into some other world. Still, beyond all of the mess, stood the silhouette of the beautiful woman, lit by the setting moon.
It was at that point that the woman looked directly through the shrub and into Adrianne?s eyes. In the few seconds that eye contact was made, a lifetime of emotions were exchanged and it was the first time that Adrianne had really stopped to notice just how beautiful the blue eyed, blonde haired woman really was.
The woman was both scared and brave. She was happy for being saved, but at the same time, she knew that her death was imminent. She wasn?t afraid to die, but she was scared of not accomplishing her task. She was also scared that she would never see her love again. Such wisdom was expressed in her gaze, like a brilliant mother who would die to protect her children. Adrianne felt safe in her presence
In the next second, the gaze was broken and the woman began running down the steps of the pyramid three at a time. Adrianne wondered what emotions she transferred to the stranger, but she never had time to ask. The stranger simply ran through the shrub and into the forest without taking notice to Adrianne at all. With the way she kept looking back, it was like she was beckoning Adrianne to follow her and be quick about it.
At first Adrianne was simply going to sit in the bushes and try to pinch herself awake; this was getting too strange, but then, she found herself running through the forest alongside her new found companion. She was so curious about this woman, but she was also scared to speak in to such a strong and powerful woman.
When Adrianne finally summoned up the courage to speak, not only did the stranger not speak back, but it also seemed as if she didn?t know Adrianne was running right beside her. Maybe she wasn?t telling her follow along after all. In the distance, they could here the leader of the hooded figures shouting something in that same foreign language and Adrianne knew immediately what it meant. In less that a minute, the hyenas were running at their heels, attempting to bite their calves or trip them with their snake like tongue.
The woman was very fast and if it hadn?t been for her injuries, she would have been able to outrun the creatures easily. As it were, she was running her hardest only to be met with the hyena?s merciless claws on her pearl white skin. She cried out in pain, but she was steadfast and fearless.
Just like before, answering Adrianne?s prayers, two more creatures jumped out from behind the trees. Adrianne thought the young woman would never make it out alive, but then it occurred to her that these two new creatures were actually dogs and they were there to defend the woman. The dogs, who looked like some kind of hunting breed that Adrianne couldn?t tell, leapt strait for the bombarding hyenas and grabbed their neck and paws and wrestled them to the ground in a fury of animal blood and saliva.
The hyenas were much bigger and there was no doubt that the dogs would be either injured or killed and Adrianne thought about stopping to help, but instead she kept running so she could keep up with the woman.
The logs and low hanging branches made it difficult to get around, but the woman?s graceful run didn?t seem to be affected by this at all. She seemed to flow over and around the logs like an Olympic hurdler and though she was bare foot and limping from all the pain, she showed no signs of giving up.
After all this running, the woman finally stopped just as the forest edged out and the land suddenly dropped off to reveal a cliff at least 100 feet tall. She backed up several feet when she saw the jagged rocks jutting out from the sea below. She turned, and once more, looked directly into Adrianne?s eyes. Her eyes were the color of the sea below and Adrianne felt that she could stare into this woman?s soul forever. The two women stood there for several minutes before they were shocked back to reality by the yelping of the two hunting dogs from earlier. Adrianne knew that those hyena monsters had probably killed the dogs and would soon catch up to the fatigued woman and finish their job.
The stranger didn?t move and a cold, fearless fury took over her eyes. She kneeled down and tore off the bottom part of her dress, so she could move more freely, and pulled out a golden knife that was strapped to one of her calves, just below her knee. Then she stood up, took several deep breaths, and took a fighting position. Adrianne examined the flawless stance and assumed she had been trained in some form of martial arts.
The hyenas emerged from the edge of the forest from each side so they could trap the woman, and shortly after, the hooded figures came out to make sure the woman died. The beasts didn?t seem to notice or care about Adrianne as she lay on her belly at the edge of the forest. There was a silence so intense, that Adrianne felt as if she were suffocating. The beasts began to circle around the woman, taunting her, but she stood there, completely relaxed.
Suddenly, the silence was broken by a loud bark and the creatures dove for the woman; one for her legs, the other was in the air, aimed for her head. Once again, her swift movements were hard to follow. Adrianne could barely tell what was going on. The woman jumped slightly, to avoid the beast from below, and pivoted her torso to the right into some sort of spin, so she could stay away from the high creature. With her golden knife in hand, she thrust it into the back of the creature?s neck and removed it in the middle of her spin, to allow it to fly over the cliff. All this happened before she even touched the ground. Then, the woman dropped to her knees to meet the second creature?s spine, snapping it in two and with that same strength from before, she kicked the large body over the side of the cliff to meet the other. She relaxed a little, it seemed that she knew her goal was accomplished, but what that goal was, Adrianne couldn?t tell.
The figures began spitting and cursing in anger. Adrianne laughed at their foolishness; they assumed the creatures would kill her. But now, they were mad, and the main figure, held up his hand and began speaking in that foreign language.
The woman backed up to the edge of the cliff. She had lost her will to fight, and she knew it was all over. The woman looked right into Adrianne?s eyes for the third and final time and gave her a nod of assurance, almost like she was saying, ?this is all for the best,? and Adrianne was over come by the sensation of familiarity between the two of them and couldn?t hold back her tears.
The woman, ignoring the hooded leader?s raised hand, looked up to the sky and muttered, ?Forgive me, my love.? And then, she fell backwards off of the cliff, eyes filled with tears, but her face filled with joy. She was happy to die for something she believed in.
The leader?s hand dropped with some invoking force and a bolt of lightning struck the edge of the cliff, just barely missing the woman that had stood there seconds before. It didn?t really matter though; the beautiful stranger was already free.

[Cat]

Thank you both for the comments. I personally don't like the George Forman Grill one to much but it was the only thing I could come up with at the time. As for the Star-Dust Covered Cake is one of my favorites and I work the hardest on that one. Here are the remaining poems I did.

[u][b]Measuring Cups

[/b][/u]Measure the unearth.
Driven not to be.
Lampshades shadow the sun.
All things said makes perfect since to me
Forever More.

[b][u]Whole Grain White
[/u][/b]
The final coutdown.
For the end.
White bleach in your food.
Killing you slowly.
Keep hold on until the waters drown

[b][u]Parking Lot
[/u][/b]
I can memorize.
Cars parked in the parking lot.
Writing pretty words.
Do you like to hurt?
Than hurt the others around.
Dance for the stars.

[b][u]Brick of Butter

[/u][/b]Fall into the luck.
Learn to fly.
Don't be held down by hell.
Line the wall with home theater systems.
The Hip Hop Block is dead.

[u][b]Semi-Sweet Morsels

[/b][/u]What is left after you watch someone lose?
Do you think this is best for them or not?
I see the way people can look at eachother.
And like that the other is losing.
Not even trying to help them find what they need.

I can say that losing is not fun.
There are too many times when I gave up.
And this almost want as far as by not wanting to try.

Tears will flow into the ocean.
The sun will rise and dry the one left behind.
And a smile can light up the blind.

[Guest Copycatalyst]

when you're high, you become a sky, unto yourself
a flying dream of vultures, of the carcasses of circuses
well it knows its hedonism well
as deep as the water holding its swell
as floating as the fondling of kites that fell
caught on the wind, of tides of fortune's fortell

i don't want to come back down, to find this hell
i don't want to come back down, is a goodbye good, praytell?
or is its etymology an egyptian pharaoh of ungodly lies?
of pyramids built, tombs and sepulchers, for our times?
would you marry me, to these very skies?
bird-of-men are prey of death's early coming
to rush them to the next ceiling of their summing
oh would you marry me, to these very skies?
to these terracotta soldiers that are the wings of my eyes?
the soul, nestling, resting, inside?
it's too free--it's too free--it's at rise
to the heaven of heathens and the haunting of reasons
that whisper to me, of this beautiful lesion
that is the suture, of your dress unlaced, your form entraced
as the tesla coil that holds me down to not go too high
that i'm never again to find

[JJ]

[B]The One Word That Never Was[/B] ((PG for two curse words))

"Ms Jenkins...we're sorry..."

"Don't.."

"Ms Jenkins...we..he.."

"I said don't! Don't you high-paid pricks understand the four simple letters?"

"Ms Jenkins I don't think..."

"Shut the hell up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

She stood up and slapped him in the face.

"Ms Jenkins, you need to calm down."

"I DON'T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU FUCKING MORON. YOU KILLED MY BABY."

The doctor didn't say anything, he just turned and went back into the ward. She was right, like the patient always was. He had killed her baby.

[Guest Copycatalyst]

You'll hold onto the little pieces of reality
Till they're torn from you, because you're no material being
You'll grasp and choke on them--as your spirit body leaves
Then you won't have no one but yourself
To let yourself disbelieve
In truth's infinities
In truth's affinities

I told you so
Isn't even nice
When that comes to be
It'll be a confirmation
That you had a sliver of reality
Stuck in your mind
And it's all you've ever seen

I won't be there to tell you
Another single thing
But everything I said
And more
Is where you'll be

By then
Maybe it'll be too late
To let go of hostility
And it's what you'll become
How we'll all recede
When we go

Cause I grew up way too fast
And I don't have anything to believe
Everything I know
Is merely true to me
I learn something each moment
To take with when I leave
In the small ways I can

Oh, God, I won't tell no one your name
Cause I know what names can do
Oh, God, I won't let you become your fame
Because I know it's something true
That I can't give to anyone
Other than those who knew

Well you'll struggle and fight
With your little pieces of reality
Till you're too weak and weary
To even know
What it's like to be
A turtle laying eggs
At the sea

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR=Navy]Here's a new one of mine. Like it or else! :p [/COLOR]

[CENTER][COLOR=Purple][B][U]Beast Inside[/U][/B][/COLOR]

[COLOR=Navy]Look at me, what do you see?
Is it a man, or is it a monster?
This beast inside feeding the hunger.
Lusts for blood every day.
No one comes
close to the anger.
It can't control itself, breeeding the illness.
Eats your sins, tastes your blood
Loves to eat your heart,
devours your soul.

Misplaced, about to be erased.
Nothing can killl it.
Demons die deep inside.
This creatures mouth tasting the bloodd.
Freeing it, killing it.
What would you do if It ate you?
Would you die, or would you just melt?
I can't tell you the truth, your to weak to know.
Get bold, grow old.
Then I'll tell you about the chaos.

Never fear, it can smell your despair.
Living within us.
Don't look back, or in front.
Look to the heavens above you.
There you'll find peace of mind.
but you won't find it here, just leave this place.
Don't feed it food that it finds rude.
If you do it'll eat you up, spitting out the bones.
your fate is seale forevermore,
don't try to run away.

Gone for good,
nothing left.
It cannot eat, it faints from hunger.
Bleeding soul, made it whole.
Breeding hate,
every which-way.
Don't be fooled, it's still cruel.
Dont find it weak, or it might kill you.
It may be gone away,
but deep isnide, it resides within you.[/COLOR][/CENTER]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

This human race, this haste to rush and never stop and be done,
Well, they don't have a trace to give to us, other than a brace
Of our freedom that holds us here as not as in love as their fear;
Though they walk as illusions racing towards illusions--we rest
In the moments, as they're caught to fall like a sandless hourglass--
Well, we know we've got an eternity to live again as diamonds,
So we shall not break this moment as a murder of paradise
But we'll say--in complete collide--it is so alive
As plastic melts to the light of life and glass beads like sweat
We'll say--through the window of our burning eyes--it is too alive

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]ah, mitch. Always with your heisting of the popular poem-glomp threads. :catgirl: Anywho, here's a childish poem I wrote. The only line I don't like is the end of the second stanza.

[CENTER][B]Look it Up! - [E][/B]

I heard a word spoken aloud;
From mother's mouth it was avowed,
But I didn't quite catch the meaning;
Didn't know what it was about.

So I opened up this big book,
Found the right page, and took a look,
And what I saw was so revealing
That a thought began to cook.

I found my mom and said to her,
"If you'd allow me to infer,
If it means I'll have to clean my room
I'll never be mature!" [/CENTER] [/COLOR]

[Aberinkula]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange]ah, mitch. Always with your heisting of the popular poem-glomp threads. :catgirl: Anywho, here's a childish poem I wrote. The only line I don't like is the end of the second stanza.

[CENTER][B]Look it Up! - [E][/B]

I heard a word spoken aloud;
From mother's mouth it was avowed,
But I didn't quite catch the meaning;
Didn't know what it was about.

So I opened up this big book,
Found the right page, and took a look,
And what I saw was so revealing
That a thought began to cook.

I found my mom and said to her,
"If you'd allow me to infer,
If it means I'll have to clean my room
I'll never be mature!" [/CENTER] [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[I][COLOR=Navy]I've read this somewhere before? odd.

But I just don't get it. What was the word that the mom said? But strangely I thought this poem was cute. DB you've made a cute poem. That's not like you at all. Okay where the hell is DB?![/COLOR][/I]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=Premonition][I][COLOR=Navy]I've read this somewhere before? odd.

But I just don't get it. What was the word that the mom said? But strangely I thought this poem was cute. DB you've made a cute poem. That's not like you at all. Okay where the hell is DB?![/COLOR][/I][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]The word was mature, obviously her mom was yelling at her for not cleaning her room (and I say her because I image a 5-year old girl saying this poem). In any event, Prem, I'd like to see you try something of this style. Funny and cute instead of funny and completely crazy and stupid, lol.[/COLOR]

[Aberinkula]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']The word was mature, obviously her mom was yelling at her for not cleaning her room (and I say her because I image a 5-year old girl saying this poem). In any event, Prem, I'd like to see you try something of this style. Funny and cute instead of funny and completely crazy and stupid, lol.[/COLOR][/quote]

[COLOR=Navy][I]You've trapped me in a bubble my friend, you have trapped me in a bubble. But I will try. But I'm listening to gackt right now. Yes, I said Gackt![/I][/COLOR]

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]Untitled - PG

Calm riot daze
Sitting in a haze
Little mocking bird of hope
Is it helping you to cope
He goes for bread
Take off his head
Blood is gonna drop around
But it will not make a sound

Give me a key
Hoping I can see
Black and dark is fine enough
Only if you like it rough
Kiss in the park
One crude remark
A pretty princess like you are
I will never ever scar

Such great skills
Show me all your ills
Breaking down to pieces fine
Spread me down along the line
Light me a match
What a great catch
Start a fire let me go
You will never miss me so

Build a tower gray
Let the people pray
God will grant them all a wish
Make an emblem of a fish
Hope for the end
Take along a friend
Hold her hand to your heart close
Tell her that you love her most

Watch the world alight
A star shining bright
No more people smile now
Darkness is what we allow
You have my heart
Hope it will start
Wait now for a piercing light
So we might escape the night.[/color]

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]I'm absolutely horrible at offering constructive criticism...so forgive me if I can't bring myself to do it. I will say this, though; DeathKnight, I really liked your untitled story (the one with the butterfly). I thought it was very well written. I read The Things They Carried a few weeks ago, so that's probably why I was drawn to it more than anything else. :]

And now, here's my piece.

[B]Aftermath of an Afterthought[/B]
She remembers the time and place
Where the rain first fell
All eyes cast away from
The pool of red seeping from her veins.
She remains there, still waiting for
Every promise they made
With fingers crossed
To save her from her downwards sin.

The last breath is the sweetest
As I run from bitter days
Holding hands with the shadow
I may never meet again
I'm running out of reasons
Heaven knows there's better ways
All that's left is scarlet sorrow
That I taste when I breathe in.

I remember those brighter days
When I stayed asleep
There's always silence
And hungry eyes filling fast with hell.
I remain there, still watching for
Any sign of rain
With fingers crossed
To save me from my fading sight

I saw you faceless as I fell
And I've never been the same
Now I'm dwelling in the fear
That I knew it all along.

-----

I made a thread for it a while ago but it didn't generate any interest. I also reworked the lyrics, and I'm much happier with it now. I'll go as far as saying this is the BEST song I have ever written (in my eyes, at least). [strike]It still needs a title, but I'm toiling over that now.[/strike][/FONT]

[Guest Mind Nk's]

I truly like that. It?s coming along from when I first read it. The only thing that bothers me is 'exhale' (we've already had this conversation) because it doesn't seem to flow as well as everything else. The word fits definition wise of course.
Looking forward to reading any up-coming short stories.

Ya know I ballsack you and I'll talk you later,
Sally

[Guest Copycatalyst]

man is a blooming universe of flowers
the flesh bark, the hair leaves,
the mosquito of mortality has its eves,
though man kisses tufts of roses
upon the face of the Earth

man is a monster of giant hours
among time, we find thyme
speckled with dust and dusks,
till dawns satiate our violence
till moons be cratered no more

why so does man itch its doom so?
like violent, horny hornets we go--
war after war, illegality after illegality
barbarity and murder of freedom,
our roots--bleeding with brutality
of the murder of the peace of being

man is a collection of star-crossed lovers
who kiss the sky with lips of illusion
to watch the ruins of our humanity
dead for our psychotic fancies

why, so, does man pain itself so?
why, so, does man let its life go
to heathens and heavens and dying rhythms--
to Gods and angels and devils in schism?

where shall, then, man go now?
is a darker age coming in the dim?
shall the light never touch the whims?
is there a wind at the doors of our perceptions
blowing coolly and wanderingly
called extinction?

so all i do is rest in this moment's arms
to hold so many souls to the breadth of me
to ask them--to entreat them--to change with me

so all i can do
is metamorphose
an imago of God
a moth of mouths
saying in shouts
laying peacefully quaint
by the sureness of my smile

that i love you
that i love this
celebration of paradise
and if i could
i'd look right in your eyes
and kiss the reflections
you don't see
and kiss the infections
of your coughing coffing

and if i could look into your eyes
i would melt like a sunrise
into the stars of burning ides
to land in the isle of your arms
amidst the waves of your warms
to cry because it's too beautiful
to love you so

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]I wrote this a while ago, but I still think it's very cute. These are characters in my humongous vampire "series." I don't know if these particular ones have appeared in any other of my stories...Nils has, but he's just a cameo this time around.

And for those of you who REAAALLY care, I'll try to write something with *Edward* in it. :P

Uhm...[M] for language/sexual content? :P
#1 (Lucio)

?Do it again!?

The water slide leads into the hot tub, which definitely isn?t meant to have people flying into it. The steaming water is covered by a mountain of white bubbles with a gaping person-shaped hole in the middle. Charlotte is sitting atop the slide, covered in suds, gripping the edges like a psychopath. ?Do it again!?

I sigh and climb up the slide?s ladder. ?Why don?t you just push yourself down??

?Because,? she says. ?Push me!?

I shove her down the slide and she screams in delight, then disappears underneath the bubbles. In less than a second she?s out of the tub and back on top of the slide, yelling at me. ?Do it again!?

?No,? I demand. ?I?ve pushed you down a million times. I?m tired.?

She stares at me indignantly, her green eyes burning. ?No you?re not. You?re never tired.?

Saying nothing, I beat a path through the pile of suds and step into the tub. She groans and throws herself down the slide, colliding with me and pushing both of us underwater. Laughing evilly, she pins me to the bottom. I just hold my breath and glare.

In a few minutes, she lets me go and resurfaces. ?I?m bored,? she says when I come up.

I smile and she sees the idea in my eyes. ?Do you want to go to bed??


#2 (Charlotte)

?Do it again!?

Lucio is giggling like a schoolgirl, lying on the bed with his arm around my shoulder. The alarm clock on the nightstand says it?s four o? clock in the fucking morning. If I told him that he wouldn?t think anything of it. ?Do it again!?

I groan and push his arm off me. ?I don?t want to.?

?Please,? he says, pursing his lips in a pout. He grasps my hand as I sit up, coaxing me back down.

?This is ridiculous,? I sigh. ?You?re still energetic, but I?m tired and my back is out.?

He frowns, narrowing his eyes. ?Your back is not out, you liar. Besides, you kept saying ?do it again do it again? and I pushed you down that damn slide over and over. You won?t even do this for me??

"But I am tired, and if I don't get my sleep I'm just no good!"

The bedroom door flies open, though I could?ve sworn I told Lucio to lock it. In runs Nils, holding a pair of dusty old socks.

?Lucio,? he exclaims, ?I found your socks!?

Lucio bursts upright, snarling. ?Go away! We?re busy!?

?But I found your socks,? Nils urges, looking very hurt.

?I don?t have any socks,? Lucio growls.

Nils ignores that fact and thrusts the disgusting socks at us persistently. ?I looked all over for them and I found them under the couch.?

Lucio?s eyes glow red with frustration and he clenches his teeth. ?Thank you,? he says angrily. ?Now get out!?

Nils flies out the door with the socks, laughing like a maniac.

?He came in here just to annoy me,? Lucio says, calming down quickly.

?Well, he?s gone now,? I smile. ?Now we can go to bed.?

Lucio?s expression becomes malevolent, and his hand flashes out to pull me down.

?Sleep!? I gasp. ?I mean sleep!? [/FONT]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

lost to the lines at the theater of our lives
the movie's showing, but no one's going,
instead they're throwing their dimes
lost to the lines, in a nose so smell,
that figure, at the end, all will be well
though i'll see you straight back at this hell:

that's a heaven that's a bell
ringing dinging deep as a well
i'm eyeing fools that fell
that can't even tell
they're under a lizard spell

lost to the lines in your mirror-face
did mortality suck too much marrow,
did age not cover up the makeup of your genes?
gene's mascara is merely time's dream
washes away from the power of the world
till dust to dusk is left and twirls
caught in the lungs of a trail
of letting go and peaceful exhale:

that's a breath that leaves from trees
whisp'ring--it is spring to be a man
but dying to be among the winter's hand
and so we fear what is no-man's land
that could be had
so we fear the death of man
for the life of its future

i'm just a sermon of the merman
that swims in a sea of stars
i'm just a nebula of neurons
that's looking at the rain of water
falling and falling what's forgotten
to remember everything softened

[Inkstitchling]

[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]So, I'm new. I really like the Idea of this thread. I even attempted to read most of the first page, but my eyes don't like it when I read lots & lots of text in a big chunk on the computer screen. I do plan to read all of it, eventually.[/color][/size][/font]

[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=#9932cc]And I also [i]really like[/i] DB's poems. Even if they do tend to get overcrowded with "big" words & are rather angsty (I prefer simpler stuff). I used to have depression, [i]bad[/i], but I only occasionally have minor spells of it now. So I get it. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=#9932cc]Anyways, before you all stop reading (if you're reading this post at all), here's a poem of mine. I wrote it about half a year ago, after attending my first poetry club meeting at my school. It remains to this day a favorite of the club. Enjoy (& give me feedback, please?)[/color][/size][/font]

[b][font=Book Antiqua][size=1]Jacaranda Memory [E][/size][/font][/b]

[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]Jacaranda blossoms scattered
withered crumpled bits of lavender hues
crushed under our feet into the
smooth dark pavement of the endless driveway
Silence around and grey sky above
You paused
"Pretty" you remarked
or maybe I just heard your thoughts
We gathered the purple flowers least damaged
held them in our hands to admire
and forgot ourselves in such simple pleasure
I would have kept us there forever

And I just decided to throw in another one. I believe my "depressed" poems are all a sort of quiet kind of sorrow. Or maybe that's only the way I feel. Hope you enjoy this one too.

[b][color=black]Bird in the Dark [E][/color][/b]

It?s too cold to fly
And you find yourself caught by the ankle yet again
Struggling against an intangible rope
That only thickens when you flap your wings
Watch as the orange glow of your hope fades
Silhouetting dreams of the past
And fears of the future[/color][/size][/font]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Inkstitchling][font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=#9932cc]And I also [i]really like[/i] DB's poems. Even if they do tend to get overcrowded with "big" words & are rather angsty (I prefer simpler stuff). I used to have depression, [i]bad[/i], but I only occasionally have minor spells of it now. So I get it. [/color][/size][/font][/color][/size'][/font][/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Interesting you should say that for several reasons. The first is because the stuff on the first page is stuff that I took to be reviewed by a professional, and I was told I needed much improvement. Over the course of the past couple months I've been improving upon my craft in many different ways. I've yet to create a poem that I can look at and be completely comfortable with.

On the other had, I absolutely [i]love[/i] both of your poems, expecially the first one. I'm no good at critique, so I hope you'll manage to find someone to critique it for real, but I thought it was amazing.

EDIT: As for Clurr and Mitch, I'll get to yours at some time. clurr, i've always loved your poetry so I think I already know how it's goin to sound, lol. Whereas Mitch, your poems all tend to blend together after a bit ^^;;[/COLOR]

[Inkstitchling]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][color=darkorange]Interesting you should say that for several reasons. The first is because the stuff on the first page is stuff that I took to be reviewed by a professional, and I was told I needed much improvement. Over the course of the past couple months I've been improving upon my craft in many different ways. I've yet to create a poem that I can look at and be completely comfortable with.

On the other had, I absolutely [i]love[/i] both of your poems, expecially the first one. I'm no good at critique, so I hope you'll manage to find someone to critique it for real, but I thought it was amazing.[/color][/QUOTE]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]My favorite author, Robin McKinley, had this to say about writing stories (but I believe it applies to a[i]ll [/i]kinds of writing, poetry included, & I'm hoping you'll find it as useful as I have while you work towards that "poem that [you] can be completely comfortable with" ):[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE]
[size=1]One of the biggest, if not [i]the[/i] biggest, obstacles to becoming a writer is learning to live with the fact that the wonderful story in your head is never as good as what you're going to manage to get down on paper. (And if you ever think it is, then you've turned into a arrogant self-satisfied prat, and should look for another job or another avocation or another weekend activity.) So you have to learn to live with the fact that you're never going to write well enough. Of course that's what keeps you trying ? trying as hard as you can ? which is a good thing. As I started off saying, writing takes practise. More practise than you can imagine until you've been doing it for years and are beginning to suspect that you never are going to learn all the answers and even then all you've learned is that you haven't been doing it long enough yet, and that you'll die of old age before you do.[/size]
[/QUOTE]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]I don't mind the lack of critique, & I'm delighted thatyou "loved" my poems (I [i]still[/i] don't understand [i]why[/i] everyone loves that first one... as the poet, I think it's all wrong).[/color][/size][/font]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

I'm stimmyied to hell and the devils are all working their violence,
The world's a blur of some ornate ancientness and its eternity is ordinate
My minds seems fought with the war of pristine grotesquery
Though the sun is tweaking into my eyes
Though the run of my physiology is a fast-forward through time

Where's heaven when it's said to never be?
When it's said to be our deaths, and not our lives?
Where's the love, you said so well, did it commit suicide?
I want your kisses, I want your triple x's and a few wide-mouthed o's
I would be the palm reader of your soul
Touch its fingertips with splayed throes
I would love mankind
Instead of this war of woes
When will we forget our Victorian repose?

I'm flying though caustic, caught on firefly paper
That I burn and burn upon, with bombs of bravery
To speak--and say--of the knavery of our depravity
Stimulant dreams are always such lucid screams

Where's the equality, America, you said was free?
Where's the Christian love, and where's Jesus?
Other than a dead man nailed to wood,
You look to, in your homes, as a traitor would
My Judases, he knew you would!

Where's my ticket to the American dream?
Was it sold for corporate monopoly and greed?
Where's TR, where's Thomas Jefferson--dead, forgot
And on reprieve from our minds?

Where's the end of the civil war,
Because it's trailed on and on
A fester of a sore?
Where's the self-evident rights
That we've made uptight
And sold out to the government?

I'm an anomaly, I'm a falling free
I'm a stuck bird with eggs hatching trees
Reaching out, with boughing bow shouts
Twittering barks like a dog of madness
To the herd mentality

This world, what do you have to offer to someone like me?
A murder of who I am, for your own nefarious deeds?
Your willingness to be a status quo, and not listen to me?
My grave is full of poison ivy league schools of thorn
My heart is full to the brim of worth, but still you scorn
Still you say--work this job, or do not live, slave
Still you say--but never think about what mouths
Still you say--and your slaughter will come in time
In endless amounts

[Boo]

[quote name='Inkstitchling][font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]I don't mind the lack of critique, & I'm delighted thatyou "loved" my poems (I [i]still[/i] don't understand [i]why[/i] everyone loves that first one... as the poet, I think it's all wrong).[/color][/size'][/font][/quote][size=1]As the poet, you're all wrong, because that poem is awesome. The simplistic, yet describing style gives a great vibe... or something. Besides, I prefer it a lot over the standard dark poetry and it's a lot harder to write. So, props. :x [/size]

[Claire]

[font=arial]Welcome, Inkstitchling. I can tell you're going to be a very nice addition to the OtakuBoards community. <3

I really really liked this line:

[quote]"Pretty" you remarked
or maybe I just heard your thoughts[/quote]

And I'm not even entirely sure why. There's just something about it that jumps out at me.

That quote you posted stuck out, too. It finally made me realize why I usually end up disliking everything I write, or at times become dissatisfied with my work. :]

Hm. This is the first set of lyrics I've successfully written to music I've already composed. As I understand it, that's how most music artists write songs. Anyway, here it is.

[b]Enigma Dissipates[/b]
Discreetly, they?re tucked away where no one will see.
They hide so well that no one has a reason to believe.
I?ve seen them, surrounding, wearing faces of the night.
But though I?ve reached out, they ignore me.

For what it?s worth, I sleep with eyes open.

Every second I can see them smile,
And I wonder how they disappear so quickly
They don?t even leave a memory.

There?s hours and hours of reversed words.
There?s always the trace in the back of my mind.
I?d welcome those ghosts, but they?re gone before I see.
And though I cry out, they ignore me.

For what it?s worth, I read between the lines.

I will join you. (Transcending)
All I want is to be. (I will end)
Just so no one believes in me. (And begin again)

Every second, I can see them smile.
And I wonder how they disappear so quickly.
And in the morning, I can feel regret
They have become another secret that excludes me.
They didn?t make me a memory.

---

It's funny, because I'll tell myself that I don't like the title or certain parts of the song, and at the same time I'll convince myself that it really does work. Hah. As usually, it's written in the format of a song.

[SIZE=1]"Discreetly..." is the first verse. "For what..." is the bridge between the verse and the chorus (both times; the second chorus is left out of the lyrics, just because I know it will be there and it will not have changed). "I will..." is the refrain/breakdowntypething. The words in parenthesis are background lyrics.[/SIZE][/font]

[Inkstitchling]

[color=darkorchid][size=1][b]Copycatalyst[/b], although I found your poem hard to follow, this line caught my eye:[/size][/color]
[size=1][QUOTE] Where's my ticket to the American dream?[/QUOTE] [color=darkorchid]Love it.[/color][/size]

[size=1][QUOTE] [b]Boo [/b]said:[/size]
[size=1]As the poet, you're all wrong, because that poem is awesome. The simplistic, yet describing style gives a great vibe... or something. Besides, I prefer it a lot over the standard dark poetry and it's a lot harder to write. So, props. :x [/size]
[size=1][/QUOTE] [color=darkorchid]I do try to avoid writing the really-dark-stuff-that-eats-my-soul because I figure if it only makes [i]my[/i] mood blacker, then [i]what the hell is it doing to everyone else[/i]? No offense meant to all you dark-stuff poets. I guess I just like to think I'm offering a breath of fresh air, and I like keeping it "simplistic" because then I don't get lost while I'm writing it. And I [i]do[/i] write not-happy stuff too. In fact, most of my work isn't happy, but it [i]sounds [/i]nice & therefore I think a lot of listeners and maybe readers tend to associate it with happy thoughts.[/color] [QUOTE=Clurr][/size][font=arial][size=1]Welcome, Inkstitchling. I can tell you're going to be a very nice addition to the OtakuBoards community. <3[/size]

[size=1]I really really liked this line: [/size]

[size=1]"Pretty" you remarked[/size][size=1]or maybe I just heard your thoughts [/size]

[size=1]And I'm not even entirely sure why. There's just something about it that jumps out at me. [/QUOTE][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]That's what the entire poetry club would say after just about every poem I read: "We really liked it! But we're not sure why..." xD[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]As for your lyrics, I think you used just enough repetition in all the right places. It sits well with me anyway. And these two lines made me look twice: [/color][/size]
[font=Arial][size=1][QUOTE] [/size]
[font=Arial][size=1]They have become another secret that excludes me.
They didn?t make me a memory.[/size][/font]
[size=1][/QUOTE] [color=darkorchid]I like how you phrased these lines.[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=#9932cc]And to all of you, Thank You for your time & feedback. And your creations, of course. [/color][/size][/font][/font]