Writing Community Anthology Thread

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Feeling inspired by the beautiful works of his otaku companions, the digital boy was elated to compose a work of his very own right on the spot. Opening a rhyme website and a thesaurus as well as his imagination, he created this culmination of thought.

[CENTER][B]Heavier[/B]

Amonst the hues;
The blues of the sea;
Feeling the weight,
My fate, taking me
Below the world
I'm twirled; I flee
Toward divorce
With force of gee[/CENTER][/COLOR]

[Inkstitchling]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][color=darkorange]Feeling inspired by the beautiful works of his otaku companions, the digital boy was elated to compose a work of his very own right on the spot. Opening a rhyme website and a thesaurus as well as his imagination, he created this culmination of thought.



[center][b]Heavier[/b]


Amonst the hues;
The blues of the sea;
Feeling the weight,
My fate, taking me
Below the world
I'm twirled; I flee
Toward divorce
With force of gee
[/center]
[/color][/QUOTE][font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]Fluff! Or is it? It's so short and... and cute! It made me giggly. There are [i]rhyme[/i] websites? Fun stuff.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]I haven't written anything new in about a month...? I attended a nearby poetry festival & it sort of had the opposite effect I expected - it uninspired me. But at last! After reading a few of the entries here, I became a poet once again! (Which is to say, I too found myself inspired) Not that I believe anyone who is once a poet ever stops being one...[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid][/color][/size][/font]
[b][font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]White Destiny [E][/color][/size][/font][/b]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]The helpless white of your mask shines brightest at the edge of destiny[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]reflecting firelight & supernovas drifting in demented skies[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]Held captive within a mirror woven of your own thread[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]pray to the Sisters of Fate in whispers to spare your ashes[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]That pale complexion will be your downfall.[/color][/size][/font]
[size=1][color=#9932cc][/color][/size]
[size=1][color=#9932cc]So, as expected, it has problems. The one big one that will nag & nag & nag at me until I do something about it is changing the phrase [i]demented skies [/i]at the end of line two[i].[/i] Demented just doesn't... sit well. But I wanted something similar to "disturbed" that also started with a D (for alliteration purposes), and I just couldn't think of anything. So for now, the skies shall remain [i]demented[/i]. [/color][/size][size=2]
[/size]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Inkstitchling][font=Book Antiqua][size=1][color=darkorchid]Fluff! Or is it? It's so short and... and cute! It made me giggly. There are [i]rhyme[/i] websites? Fun stuff.[/color][/size'][/font][/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]For future reference, you dont have to use the color and size markers on every paragraph. It makes you impossible to quote >_< Anywho, how on earth does the act of drowning come across as cute to you?!?! You did know that said 'gee' and not 'glee' right? 'gee' is a force of gravity...[/COLOR]

[Claire]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']For future reference, you dont have to use the color and size markers on every paragraph. It makes you impossible to quote >_< Anywho, how on earth does the act of drowning come across as cute to you?!?! You did know that said 'gee' and not 'glee' right? 'gee' is a force of gravity...[/COLOR][/quote]

[FONT=Arial]I read it as glee. :/ Even when I went back and read it again, I still thought you meant glee.

I did think it was unique, though. I don't think I've ever seen a rhyme scheme quite like that. It flowed (pardon the pun) very well. The first time I read the first four lines, I couldn't help but smile at how nicely it fit together. Good job. :][/FONT]

[Inkstitchling]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][color=darkorange']For future reference, you dont have to use the color and size markers on every paragraph. It makes you impossible to quote >_< Anywho, how on earth does the act of drowning come across as cute to you?!?! You did know that said 'gee' and not 'glee' right? 'gee' is a force of gravity...[/color][/quote]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]I didn't realized I was using them for every paragraph x.x Sorry! And yes, I knew what you meant by "gee". It's just the lines are so short & simple & they rhyme. And for some reason the sounds the poem made in my head made me giggle. I have an unusual sense of humor- I find trivial things amusing. Seems like everytime we'd watch a film in class at school, I'd constantly find myself the Only One laughing & snickering at something...[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Brutal and blunt
My tools of mind
Madness to sycophants
They find it unkind

I'm being stupid
When I'm being cupid
Shooting death of love
A quiver from me
As a squashed bug

No one wants to hear
The truth in a slug
A home-run bat
Who's sat and sat
In pain
To be its roots
To make it grow

What's a screech
To each
When they beseech
To be an ear of corn?
What's a beach
To each
Without a be each
In our swarm?

I murder Egos
I capitalize I
Because it's justified
But your first-person letter
Is a herd memo
Of genocide

I have opinions?
No, I don't
I know the sides
Of these dichotomic dies
They're suicides
They're nothing to prize

I have opinions?
You speak for yourself
And behind your statements
Is where you hide
Behind your Ego
Is where you abide

I'm shattering you
But you can't survive
So you sign off
Of the program
Of thought and rhymes
Don't like synchronicity
Think it's a random design
Or a Narcissus God so nigh
As a pool of our own fear

That's festering millenia to millenia
Year after year, near and near
A pool of bloody violence
Our history's repetitious jeer
How laughing to you jesters
In your hours of murder gears

The gears of war need the cogs of fools
The fools of cogs need the war of gears
The separation is endless, the darkness clear
No one wants the truth--they want their fear

The thoughts of truth need no truth of thought
The thought of truth is what we've all forgot
No one wants to think--they want to be deer
Hunted by mortality, to die, and eaten for veneer

So how's the job, how's being a slob?
How's it feel to feel me upon your ills?
How's it feel for me to crush you
And your vapid, weak-minded bills
Of injustice and inaction
Of doing, and no retraction
Of slavery in action?
Of fiat bureaucration?

Did you ever put aside
The turmoil inside
To find the objective finds
Of the underlying theme?

Did you ever put aside
The turmoil outside
To gaze beyond time
Of the truth of our lives?

Did you ever not just cast aside
The truth as it begged to lie
In your arms and love you
Not on the streets of your Ego
But amidst the steeple of no evils?

Did you ever know the pain that powers
If one does not just cower
Like a mouse amidst elephant men of corruption
Did you ever know
Of the truth of our lives?

The years go by--
Spring turns to fall,
Autumn falls to winter
Yet still no one will realize
The veracity of the birds
As they twitter each spring

Nor the verbosity of the plants
As they green the Earth, in each leave
To wither, and pass,
As man stands at impasse
In a hedonism bask
To extinct its own becoming

Well would you heed the words spoken of thee?
This man, who speeks to thine, prithee?
Or am I already posthumous
In so many words?
Or am I already dead
In so many herds
Or am I gone
In so many seasons of reason
That pass, and recede
In a paradox's box of treason?

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][B]Mitch[/B], I wonder if you loose yourself in writing such a long poem. I can see that you're following a chain of thought and it seems like you fall around in an off-topic sense where by the end I'm not even reading the same thing anymore. I mean, the whole thing falls under the category of rebellion, but it's the sort of rebellion that seems to just stab aimlessly at the things controlling it without plans of it's own or concise concept of what it's stabbing. not to say these aren't things you know, but they are not represented in this work.

Also, in some places it almost feels like you're pulling phrases out of your hat. This might not be a problem were it not that sometimes you do use weird crap, and other times you don't at all. Also, you bring more and more points in that build on top of each other but don't flow throughout.

For instance, near the end you start to talk about things in regards to nature and the lack of attention of people's minds whereas earlier you were talking about yourself and how things relate to you - it's kind of changing the subject.

Mitch, I know you're a great poet, and you've written some great stuff, and really, you should be able to do whatever you want, which you appear to do.This poem, though, is severely flawed.[/COLOR]

[Wet Cement]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][CENTER][B]The Only Limrick I'll Ever Write [L][/B] [/CENTER]

[center]There once was a man named Bob Tucket
Who's head was kept hid by a bucket
He could not see
When he went to pee
And so he said "Aw, fuck it!" [/center]

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here... well, I guess for another ten seconds... but I'll be back when I think up a better idea![/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange][B]Mitch[/B], I wonder if you loose yourself in writing such a long poem. I can see that you're following a chain of thought and it seems like you fall around in an off-topic sense where by the end I'm not even reading the same thing anymore. I mean, the whole thing falls under the category of rebellion, but it's the sort of rebellion that seems to just stab aimlessly at the things controlling it without plans of it's own or concise concept of what it's stabbing. not to say these aren't things you know, but they are not represented in this work.

Also, in some places it almost feels like you're pulling phrases out of your hat. This might not be a problem were it not that sometimes you do use weird crap, and other times you don't at all. Also, you bring more and more points in that build on top of each other but don't flow throughout.

For instance, near the end you start to talk about things in regards to nature and the lack of attention of people's minds whereas earlier you were talking about yourself and how things relate to you - it's kind of changing the subject.

Mitch, I know you're a great poet, and you've written some great stuff, and really, you should be able to do whatever you want, which you appear to do.This poem, though, is severely flawed.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]


I'm not Mitch, so I don't know who you're talking about. Also, you're completely justified to voice what you think this poem is, and all it replicates to me is your current mindset and understanding. Which is quite obviously inferring how a poem has to be, and that it must remain completely set upon one subject, and that it is apparently "completely flawed." This shows me that you don't like the subject of the poem, the way it carries about itself. You seem to assume some dichotomic separation of the narrator from nature, and vice versa. This poem is rather general, yet specific, in its scope, and it is written in a fashion that is more productive for it to be lyrical. The various "crappy phrasings" I use are quite interesting if you can look past your own egobarriers and your own hatred of what you're hearing in this poem--which is that, you, the reader, if they cannot look at what the narrator is saying straight-up, are basically being ignorant. Your crit of my poem is so shallow I laughed at it to be honest. Isn't it great how I had to try and explain the poem to you a bit and isn't it great that it was completely over your head? It's about rebellion? No. It's about the truth and the world [i]as it is[/i], with a tinge of the narrator's own [i]pathoslogical[/i] interment into such.

Also, I completely deny I'm a great anything. You seem to be confused. I am not a great poet. This is just what I do. Put words on a page. If you like it you like it, if not, that's your problem. I'm not great at all. Anything I say is as fallible as you want to make it, or as true as you want to take it. Being "good" or being "accepted" for what I write means jack shit to me.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]I knew you wwere going to reply in such a fashion :p

Firslty, let me ask you, do you believe in absolutes? I don't take you for the type, but I think I can say that your post belays such. you claim that i am basing my review of your poem on what's right for poetry by popular opinion - I'm not. I am no critic of poetry - this is all my opinion.

Your poem is something that you wrote and understand and it is something that has meaning to you. It doesn't have any meaning whatsoever to me. You claim that this is a failure of mine in my lack of ability to understand. I'm saying it is a failure of yours in your inability to portray your thoughts in a way that is understandable. You must consider your audience in poetry - I'm sure there's someone else who would be glad to dissect your work and find all the little carefully developed meanings (if they are in fact such) but if those aren't the people you're talking to, those aren't the poems you display.

If you're going to post your work in a place, then that place will be your judge. You can't work in a chocolae factory and make a hard candy, claiming that the people making chocolate are blind and cant see that hard candy is the real answer. Long as you are here, you are subject to here's opinions and there's no point in going against the judgement of here when here is where you chose to display your work.[/COLOR]

[Inkstitchling]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]Here are a few older pieces, for comparison I suppose.[/color] [/size]

[b][size=1]Heart Pool [E][/size][/b]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]A quiet poll[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]lined with stones[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]A reflection of clouds[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]Something stirs within[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]rises to the surface[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]and disappears in a flash[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]of orange & white & gold scales[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]banished back to the dark depths[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]leaving only ripples[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]Then the water is still again[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]This is my heart.[/color][/size]

[b][size=1]Untitled [E][/size][/b]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]Solitary confinement[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]kept within the parameters of[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]crystallized sugar delusions[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]scented jasmine and tinted emerald[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]delicately balanced en pointe[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]amidst honey flavored illusions[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]that deliquesce into amber mists[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]and at the slightest breath of reality[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]'tis all gone in a gasp and shiver[/color][/size]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]"Untitled" is pure fluff poetry. I wrote this because I had the words [i]solitary confinement[/i] and [i]deliquesce[/i] stuck in my head, and wanted to put them to good use.[/color] [/size]

[Aberinkula]

[I][COLOR=Navy]First I must say. Inkstitchling, you are very creative. I'd love to get to know you more!

When I read a poem I don't look for words or sense. I look for story. If I can sense an image, then the poems good for me. ( A good name for your untitled poem could be "Sweet Toothe." hey I tried. )[/I]

Well here's two new poems I just mustered up. The second one is werd.

[CENTER][U][I][B]Tainted Waters[PG] [/B][/I][/U]

Tainted waters of black and white.
Flowing Into the still of the dark.
Drowning the dreams of the light.
Never ending torrents of pain.
Hold me back from jumping in.

There I will find myself.
Hiding beneath all the sin.
Without you by my side.
I will surely won?t win.
Guide me in the murky deep.

Lead me not into temptation.
For I will find myself there.
No longer me anymore.
Down the drain I fall to my hell.
Lead me out of the sewers of pain.

[B][U][I]Nothingness [E][/I][/U][/B]

White
black
No Light
No dark.
Lead me out
Lead me in.
Bleeding out
Bleeding in.
Constrict
Let free.
Hold until I can?t breathe.
Release
Take in.
Step back
Step in
No love
No hate
Nothingness.
Nothing?[/COLOR][/CENTER]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

the dream is a breath of one moment
that is an echoic of growing crystals
glittering in the shimmer of reflections
scatterdust catches amidst the flames

a great womb of inside outside everywhere
which is in oh so multitudes alive
a snail shell of turtles crawling on sun
the sirens of the sea call for it to be

there is no end to that breath
its cessation is no death
its end is merely another depth
to birth a flickerflame and ice

this moment reflected eternally
casts its all into its pieces
it's a puzzle with no maze
the parts are the whole lain

to catch a falling by stalling
standing to the beauty wallowing
water is a dropping caress of my eye
that falls to an impossible smile
upon my lips as they arc a tide

[[url=http://www.chromosomecowboy.com/mitchmusic/M%20-%20Paradox%20Box%20of%20Treason.mp3]For2007DigitalBoy[/url]]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Funny you should dediccate it to me, since I absolutely loved it :p That was damn beautiful Copycatalyst (since I guess you aren't going by Mitch). I can't help but notice you use snails and turtles a lot - I'm guessing because of their shells. I almost feel bad about understanding this one >_< Like I played into your hands XD[/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']Funny you should dediccate it to me, since I absolutely loved it :p That was damn beautiful Copycatalyst (since I guess you aren't going by Mitch). I can't help but notice you use snails and turtles a lot - I'm guessing because of their shells. I almost feel bad about understanding this one >_< Like I played into your hands XD[/COLOR][/quote]

Hehe. You can call me whatever you wish, I suppose I prefer M.

Mortality is the mosquito
Which sucks the blood
Of man's strength
To make it itch fear

--For most men, that is
For some--
Mortality, and life
As it is
Could not be any other way

Or else its beauty
Would be unhaveable.
--Unknowable,
Unobtainable.
--Non-existent--











While we suck our blood for veins of vain,
While we wallow in a mire of value-chains,
While we mosquito our mulatto throttle
To violent, itching, maddening thanatos






Here I am
Broken,
Waiting,
And thriving
Away from this world
Away from the insectile
Herd swarm


Awaiting
Waiting
Always waiting
Never forsaking
With coma eyes
With coma eyes
With coma eyes

And prying cries
And lying rise
And open whys
And autumn falls
Not as hard as man
Spring is more eternal
Than the lies in your eyes
The illusionary puddles
You call your lives
The reflection of emptiness
That no hedonism
Could lessen of surprise

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]sounds to me like a [B]Tool [/B] song or something - I like to imagine that the huge breaks in verse are where long musical interludes took place :p In any event, based just on subject matter (lets completely ignore mechanics in your works from now on, since i doubt you care about the system) I found it interesting. The mosquito metaphor is pretty cool; I'd be lying if I said I understood every word you used in this poem - there are some that I need to really get out a dictionary here for >_<

I think in one or two places your phrasing could have been better. 'to make it itch fear' for example just doesn't flow well. Maybe 'and leaves the itch of fear' or something like that could have worked a little better.

The boogie nature of your work makes it hard to critique, cuz I don't know what you're looking for. You don't seem to care about structure, and your subject matter is absolute - there's no real way to give you advice >_< is there anywhere you want it in?[/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange]sounds to me like a [B]Tool [/B] song or something - I like to imagine that the huge breaks in verse are where long musical interludes took place :p In any event, based just on subject matter (lets completely ignore mechanics in your works from now on, since i doubt you care about the system) I found it interesting. The mosquito metaphor is pretty cool; I'd be lying if I said I understood every word you used in this poem - there are some that I need to really get out a dictionary here for >_<

I think in one or two places your phrasing could have been better. 'to make it itch fear' for example just doesn't flow well. Maybe 'and leaves the itch of fear' or something like that could have worked a little better.

The boogie nature of your work makes it hard to critique, cuz I don't know what you're looking for. You don't seem to care about structure, and your subject matter is absolute - there's no real way to give you advice >_< is there anywhere you want it in?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Nah. I enjoy your talking about phrasings, and how they could be better, and also just about your general impressions of the poems, and its images. So stick to that. Also, you can crit however you want. It's your freedom.




the mechanical big apple
was choking with worms
that squirmed and squirmed
slobbering greed green trees
money like snakes slithering

so the infestation
insects of zealotry
took the moment
to rotten it to death

though the play
as it lays
is now senseful
as a breath

the play
is the stay
of the forces
of dismay

the play
is the way
america let this happen

like a JFK assassination
or a fidel castro bay of pigs invasion
or like Oswald, the lone liasion
like a Pearl Harbor agent

the play
is the way
america let this happen

international security
was high on itself
for our whole history
so they let this slip
with all that security?

like a Jesus Christ crucifiction
like a Johnny Mechanical Appleseed
Murdering up some monotony
Planting it for you and me

There it lays
The grave of mechanical animals
the endless circuitry
the id skinner box tragedy
the xerox fax facsimile of the hypocrisy

like Malcolm X x'd out
like Robbie Kennedy down and out,
like Lennon with the happy gun
like Marilyn Monroe done
Marilyn Manson soon to go

There it lays
The hedonbots and their geniuses
left to decay for their genuses
we're just weeds to blow away
we're just blowing away

blowing away blowing away
(when there's no tomorrow
there's no today)
blowing away

like a PoW of the WoD
like a reality leaving the dream
like an anachronism smokescreen
we're wavering

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][QUOTE=Copycatalyst]the mechanical big apple
was choking with worms
that squirmed and squirmed
slobbering greed green trees
money like snakes slithering

like a Johnny Mechanical Appleseed
Murdering up some monotony
Planting it for you and me

There it lays
The grave of mechanical animals
the endless circuitry
the id skinner box tragedy
the xerox fax facsimile of the hypocrisy[/QUOTE]

These are the parts of the poem i enjoyed. The first stanza I thought was awesome - you've got some sweet metaphors and similes there. For that second highlighted stanza, you can see i got rid of the Jesus line simply because it's played out. In fact, that's how I felt abot a lot of this poem - crap I've heard before.

However, the other 3 lines in that stanza are awesome, and when placed after the first stanza fits perfectly. Those 2 stanzas alone would have made a great poem.

The third one is unrelated in comparison, but I highlighted it because it was interesting. Sounds like something i'd hear in At the Drive-In song.

As for phrasing in this one, one line in particular stood out

[quote name='M']to rotten it to death[/quote]

Ewwwww.... That sounds like some form of Engrish. My revision of that stanza would be like...

[I]wriggling monetary plague
wrought with insect of zealotry
envelope it in a moment
eat away and leave it empty[/I]

or something like that.

So, if I were to revise your poem, it would be constrained to a flowing metaphor, rather than be all over the place with comparisons. I think it would look like this

[I]The mechanical big apple
was choking with worms
that squirmed and squirmed,
slobbering greed green trees;
money like snakes slithering,

wriggling monetary plague
wrought with insects of zealotry
envelope it in a moment;
they eat away and leave it empty

like a Johnny Mechanical Appleseed
Murdering up some monotony
And planting it for you and me[/I][/COLOR]

[Inkstitchling]

[size=1][color=darkorchid]The more I read [b]Copycatalyst's [/b]poetry, the more it pulls me in. Long poems generally make my eyes queasy, but lines here & there keep snagging my gaze. So then, of course, I have to stop and read the poem. And read it again. And again... each time picking up something new, something different. It's fun to read. [/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid][/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]And the mortality poem [i]really [/i]jumped out at me. The organization of it, the word choice, the subject & metaphor. I think it's wonderful. [/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid][/color][/size]
[size=1][color=darkorchid]Just to clarify, [QUOTE]To violent, itching, maddening thanatos[/QUOTE]what definition of [i]thanatos[/i] are you using in this line? Because I realized that my vocabulary tends to be severly limited at times, & thus hinders my comprehension processes. D:[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Digitalboy--Thanks for your take on the poem. It was neat.

Ink--Whichever definition you choose to define it in. Mwhahahhaa. That's the beauty of what my poetry realizes: the fluidity and often paradoxical, or contradictory, multi-definitions and tonations different word choices put and play into the entire atmosphere of the poem. Like Shakespeare, I think puns are fun. Also, thanks for reading my poetry, and learning. :)

Also, if anyone is interested [b]I have a poem file with much of my more recent poetry in it: it's about 150 pages, so if you want that IM me (mitchellgrantAIM) or if there's enough desire, I can post a whole thread with it in it.[/b] Thanks.

if man can imagine it, he can become it
if he can become it, he can imagine man
if man can imagine itself, it is real

man is an image, until it makes images
man is an image until it imagines
reflection and refraction
thought to action









if man can image itself with its imagine
then the imagination is real
then the real is imagination
a mirror of boutique
beauty unique

[Aberinkula]

[I][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]I like that last one M. The poem was true in it's rite.

Well here are two more Which I hope people will critisize.

[CENTER]Polymorphous [PG][/CENTER]

Polymorphic monstrosities
Coagulate underneath
The tables of the inhumane.
Breeding death into the world.
Greedy little tyrants.
Without purpose, or life.
Transparent to the universe
Invisible to the world.
Polymorph beyond the limitless
And grieve underneath the ground.

Nevermore [E]

Love
Hate
Death
Life
Black
White
Less
More
Opposite
Nevermore[/COLOR][/I]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Your first poem looks like your being all smart and stuff for once, lol. I kinda like it. :p

As for nuber 2, I wrote this EXACT poem back when I was writing poetry all the time. It's funny, I've always compared your progress to my own, and this seems to prove it, lol. As for if it's good, no. Words without meaning are WORTHLESS!!!!! HAHAHA![/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

systems are toiling toys reaping weeping play
programs are executions to noose mortality
dreams are ethereal; escape in smoke, fall as rain
apparti cauterize origami when unfolded themselves
this protocol is a recall
the parts decided to dance as darwintrons
so pick a rose for me, for when i'm gone
the thorns of repetitious animosity prick
so pick a rose for me, i'm pink in my bold
in the eyes of machines that hum hauntingly
though ochre when seen for the truth told

so pick a rose for me, make it a sunsetting flower
so pick a rose for me, stem green sans greed
so pick a rose for me; and due the dew in a dawn
brushed aside, to lay upon the future's shoulders

the reverberation of the sun as it sets
is the saddest tears that are too bright to be wet
that i have ever seen

the greatest protocol to lay in the program's pall
is that all software is made of the same call
what should fall is separation
as an autumn of halls
in this room, these walls must fall

on my shoulders the future
a soldier of peace we are
picking of pieces of petals
that cried bleeding mortido
a crying echoing bomb of bones
a cradle of cacophony clones
shelter is our only home

as a child i moved the toy of christianity
i bent its flex and fluxed its west
i found its east and kept its best
i toy with toys and ride with speed
i run among walks and walk amidst slugs
that i love as loves too burning to fade

as a teen the hurt was a hive of bes to my insides
the stings of truth did kiss me rough and keep me alive
though at times the darkness dwelt too dolefully upon
i always knew valiance would one day find its kong
so i took beauty upon my shoulder, and struggled on

till here you find me
beyond words
toying with the keys of ourselves
to mix and match the latches of latticed cages
calling and calling in trail as have many
throughout the ages

so pick a rose for me, my prometheus rising
pick a rose for me, in the spring of my life
hold me in your arms
let me forget the strife
that makes me shiver and shudder
for its injustice
for its plight

so pick a rose for me
so pick a rose for me
not for me
but for you

pick the rose of yourself
from the barren ground
stand here and speak
wise as a tree
alive as a motion
serene and bound

you are my anchors
my ships
my oceans
my harbors
my everythings
my losts
my founds
my diamonds
my graphite mounds

you are my anchors
you keep my flying ship
here safe and sound
with a smile
and when awake
more than asleep

so pick a rose
and petal the speed
so pick a rose for me
when i'm gone
plant it
let it grow

i hope it becomes more than the dawn
more than gone
i know it will
because of this
it shall be at some time for me
all the same i wish it upon you

[Guest Copycatalyst]

i flew like gravity flies a downward fist
my legs were wings in a dust of mist
each breath was a bomb of calm
coming too fast--that i breathed gone

i wound the staircase by scaling its speed
and weighing its possibility with its propensity
to dig deep reptilian eggs away from the ovum
of all of our being

the speed of light is the best gauge of relativity
contrasted to the speed of our consciousness
one can find the truth of our current ability

i moved fast as a phantom fasting on its spirit
i ate the violence they love to reciprocate
i screamed scyre of an angel without wings

i moved as movement could possibly be a bird
that sings
i moved too fast--a plasma burn in my third eye
like the rain of sunwaves sweltering at beads
of water

i thought as i blazed as wave of the future to this past
that the now is knowing of its new of the ever-last
i thought as i burned that i'd fly till i died
to find my soul wreching to the lies

grasping and grasping with gaunt finger
and ossificer arthritis from the gamble of demons
to touch the sand of soot and lay the root
to growth and be and seed that grows fruit

i exploded in a supernova quasar of stars
i journied further than the beat of feet
to make a heart to stamp upon
a human face--forever

as my feet stamped the mail like a letter
the syllables the beating heart of my soul
hitting upon the hearth of the heather
i beat a thud-thud of intensity weather

i leaned over after the atomic bomb of prayer
to catch the breath that was trying to loose
my soulvapor into a bask of permanent disconnect

i could've fell over as a leaning tower of babylon
for the scars of scions that've battled for eon

i did lean--with a lean and hungry stare
a stare of stairs--now i ask--will you climb?

the luggage of the ego is just carry-on
but it's the possession the metal detector
lets murder our dawns

will we rebuild the tower of our hour and soar?
or will we scour as scourge and sizzle our lore?
is wisdom to plants, and us to be nevermore?

rediscover communication
lest we sever more than the most
we've sold away
to condemnation

love's as simple
as speaking as you are
does a star love just a moon?
does the light glow
only upon the noon?

does you
only fall
to find yourself
only casting glances from your gallows
to hide the flickermoth of truth
in a lunatic lunar candle
and only feather beatific light
to the flicker of your fright?

i've gone so far
i burn now,
i burn now

but where we burn
now
all deals with
whether you'll fire my flame
without any ire

if you'll aspire and aspire
to have flight for flight
and not fight for flight
and cower

[Claire]

[FONT=Arial]This one's a little old, but I think it's still alright. Like Enigma Dissipates, it has music. However, the many times I've tried recording it, I can never play past the intro correctly. I'm considering rewriting the music. :/

[B]Porphyria[/B]
You say it's a crime to fly
When the sun's too hot for our midnight eyes
I must admit, there's no way that I'd deny
A chance to see the light within you.

So carry on, you know I don't care.
I'd say anything, but no one will hear.
The very thought of losing you here
Kills me endlessly, but nobody cares

So often I know you're there
And the distance remains just to be unfair
I must admit, it's always that I despair
How much I'd love to be the light around you.

I'll always remember.[/FONT]


[SIZE=1]
Again, the song (which was written in order of First Verse, Chorus, Second Verse, Break) would actually be sung First Verse, Chorus, Second verse, chorus, break, chorus, chorus.[/SIZE]