When Your World Falls Apart...

[Minako]

Well, currently, my world is falling apart. I may be kicked out of my dream university due to my poor grades this year (curse you chemistry and calculus) and it's only by [B].07[/B]. Grr...hopefully the Chem curve is good.

So, I was wondering, [B]Has there ever been a time in your life where your world has fallen apart?[/B] If so, [B]how did you deal with it?[/B] And for those of you that are fortunate enough to HAVEN'T have had that happen to them yet, [B]how do you THINK you'll react/deal with it?[/B]

And as a side note, what would you suggest I do to deal with it? I mean, if I don't come back, they'll only ask me to leave for a year, and I could stay home for a year and go to a local university. It could be good for me...i guess. I've never felt so at home than at my school. The only thing keeping me together right now is the fact that I can go back.

If you feel like you can't post about that time, I don't want you to open up a proverbial "vein" for me. Only post if you feel comfortable. :)

[Boo]

[quote name='Minako][B']Has there ever been a time in your life where your world has fallen apart?[/B][/quote][size=1]I have never dealt with a situation when my whole world fell apart. [i]However[/i], I [i]did[/i] have a situations when my hamburger fell apart.[/size]
[quote name='Minako][B']how did you deal with it?[/B][/quote][size=1]Well, there's not much you can do about it, really. But at that certain moment when you see all of the salad fall into all direction, the sauce pooring on the table and the hamburger bouncing all over the floor, you are [i]PISSED[/i]. That was a good burger, and it's just your luck that ruined it. Gravity hates you all the way from when they let you fall on your head as a newborn.

But, after a moment of being really pissed, you must clear your mind and realize that this hamburger wasn't your only chance for a hamburger, and you should just make the effort to get yourself a new one. Sure, it will cost another cow it's buttcheek, but you will have the satisfaction of eating a good burger after all. Besides, you can always ask someone else to get you one, because you don't always have to face the world on your own. Apparently, "no man is an island".[/size]

[James]

[color=slategray]Er, Boo...I don't know if you're trying to be funny, but it isn't working. It's usually not a good idea to mock someone when they are actually upset about something of substance.

Minako, I don't quite understand your situation. Are you saying that if you get kicked out you return in a year? I might be misunderstanding something there.

I guess my only question is, what is causing your grades to suffer? If there is an underlying problem, it might be worth examining that - I know that my work in general can suffer if I'm not happy about something or if something is going majorly wrong in my life.

If it's simply a question of not being able to keep up, well, I think there's no harm in asking for help from those around you. :catgirl:

In terms of my world falling apart...well, I have certainly been in that situation. Kind of.

A couple of months ago my younger brother was in a serious car accident. His best friend died and another friend of his was in rehabilitation for several months.

The accident happened on a Saturday night and I remember getting a phone call from my sister just after I came out of a movie...she said that my brother had been in a serious car accident and was in intensive care. She didn't know any more than that.

I can tell you, I've never heard anything like that on the phone before - I felt like my heart literally stopped. I think I was in shock at the time. I literally just ran from the cinema to the car, drove home to pick up my sister and got to the hospital as soon as I could.

That night was very difficult because only my parents could stay with my brother, there wasn't enough room and his condition was very delicate. They had to replace something like 3/4 of his blood that night and nobody was sure whether he'd die or have a serious disability as a result of the accident.

I remember going to bed that night and just staring at the ceiling, waiting for my phone to ring.

I haven't really mentioned any of this on OB but it was definitely the worst time of my life so far - the unknown element was the worst part.

Luckily my brother recovered and is now home. I went to his best friend's funeral (who was very much like a brother to me) and that was very difficult. He was only 16.

In terms of how I coped with that...well, it was really just a matter of surrounding myself with people I cared about. I always loved and appreciated my siblings but that night, we were all even closer - my two sisters didn't leave my side. We were all stuck together like glue for a long time afterwards.

So I think that, for me, I managed to cope by completely involving myself with other people.

I know this is a different case to what you are dealing with currently (it's probably on the more extreme end), but still, I think we all deal with bad news differently.

I don't know if my suggestions help you at all but hopefully something in my post makes sense![/color]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]My world is a world of afterthoughts and late realizations that ignore the here and now and have no sight of the future. It is also a world of forgetting the past and striving to find peace in the moment. This could be described as a very turbulent, raging sea, and I'm n00b poseidon.

Yes, almost a year ago is when my world fell apart, and I think i can safely say that, since at the time that's how I kept describing it. the proof is in the poems, lol.

Remembering what happened is damn near impossible. for some reason, most of 2006 (well, really from about September 2005 to October 2006) is an emotional blur to me. I can remembere what happened, but i can't remember anything at the same time - like I've been blocking it out or something. I can only remember the key events from the time as well as a lot of visions of lying in my bed crying myself to sleep. Melodramatic, i know, but i've always been a drama queen.

In any event, it all revolved around a netship and me being hopeless. It took so many forms... between October 05 and February 06 was a really ****** up for me, and that's all I want to say about it. I'm sure at least someone here can attest to how ****** up I was, and if not, thank god they can't.

Then from like April 06 to June 06 was a time that i was greatly in love with this girl over the internet. My whole brain was a big freaking mess, and I was so full of ****, thinking i knew all this stuff that I didn't even understand. I was reading all these religious books and **** and started babbling on about existential crap all the damn time. It was around then that I just started, like, hating everything. Like I was at the point where there was absolutely nothing i wanted more than death.

...except her. i was using her I guess as an excuse to go on living. I don't even begin to comprehend why I was so in love, but she was all I ever thought about, and it was really freaking weird. i remember that i kept thinking I had multiple personalities and even had rather lengthy conversations with myself a couple of times. What that means i don't know, and I really hate thinking about it.

Eventually it broke off when she moved to Japan. Her life was apparently a hell of a lot worse than my own, so i think both of us were just two canisters of crazy going insane on each other, lol. In any event, there was some point afterward where i totally freaking broke down. I just starting getting on about crazy **** and was obsessed with love. All I ever did was try to fall in love with people and constantly write love stories and **** (you can see one here on OB - most are positively soaked in sex).

I started, like, signing up for sites like Gaia and just profusely trying to fall in love - worse yet I had a female character too -- I honestly scare myself totally when I think about it, but those were some dark *** times.

all that finally ended the first week of October, and I'll never forget how it was. There was one week where I was 100% level-headed. I didn't have any thoughts about anything strange whatsoever - I even specifically remember that I played video games non-stop that whole week. Then all of a sudden, the next week, it felt like the entire experience was miles behind me, and i ended up basically with what I just told you about. I mean, i remember a few more details, but nothing significant as to how things got that way.

That's why I dumped the name 'Tical' entirely. I just -- pop - erased myself from that title. Mind you, Tical is a name i've been using since i was 8 years old, but the time that i was 'crazy' (as I like to think of it) I referred to myself as Tical and believed that Conrad was a former presonality which no longer held control over by body, but only served to perform basic functions of life.

So yeah, I don't ever want to ****ing be called Tical again. as for how I dealt with it, i didn't deal with it at all - i just suddenly went from crying my eyes out nightly to bathing myself in complete apathy and aking a breather.

Mind you, i haven't stopped being depressed, though now I found out I suffer from manic-depression which literally explains everything. I still have a very negative outlook on life and all -- but i know for a fact i am [i]nothing[/i] like when my world 'fell apart'.

Also, @James: I can't even fathom what that would be like. I love my brother way too much to have to deal with that. If my brother ever died, I think there'd be a soon-after cluster suicide >_<[/COLOR]

[Boo]

[quote name='James][color=slategray']Er, Boo...I don't know if you're trying to be funny, but it isn't working. It's usually not a good idea to mock someone when they are actually upset about something of substance.[/color][/quote][size=1]You can very well read it as a metaphore, dear James. And I think it's so much more helpful to bring a metaphore or advice in an entertaining way than in a depressing "aww, you're so sad" way (if they aren't already attacking the person for something he never said), as what seems to be the case a lot. It's not like I would be of much help telling him about my traumatic childhood with my insane, near-suicidal, stalking father, either. Personally, I prefer the hamburger tale.

I dare say that I didn't mock anyone in my post, a McDonald's employee at most for making such fragile burgers.[/size]

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='James][color=slategray']Minako, I don't quite understand your situation. Are you saying that if you get kicked out you return in a year? I might be misunderstanding something there.[/quote][/color]

[color=crimson]Her GPA in High School isn't high enough to meet the standards of the University she wants. So I think she is saying she'll go to a local college and work on her GPA there to meet the standards for a transfer to her dream school. At least.. that's what I think she said, lol. Maybe she's already at a college and instead will have to stay another year to work on her GPA.

I mean, I'm not trying to insult you Minako, but if you have a plan that's is not really as bad as it seems. It sucks to face adversity but if you have a plan and you put forth the effort with a little luck you can get through many things. So it's not the end of the world if, you know, you still have a world to go through, lol.

The world can tighten it's grip around your throat at times. It can suffocate and press down on you with it's intense pressure. It can lash at you and whip you, it can do all these things to you but if you have a way through then just keep working on it.[/color]

[eleanor]

[color=dimgray] I've been through tough spots, like everybody else, and the biggest thing I've learned is to suck it up and get on with life. Not in an indifferent way- that's the worst way to go about it. Try and make reparations as best you can, and then strive for something better.

Best of luck to you, though. It sucks that you might get kicked out of college- I hope you manage to stay. [/color]

[James]

[QUOTE=Boo][size=1]You can very well read it as a metaphore, dear James. And I think it's so much more helpful to bring a metaphore or advice in an entertaining way than in a depressing "aww, you're so sad" way (if they aren't already attacking the person for something he never said), as what seems to be the case a lot. It's not like I would be of much help telling him about my traumatic childhood with my insane, near-suicidal, stalking father, either. Personally, I prefer the hamburger tale.

I dare say that I didn't mock anyone in my post, a McDonald's employee at most for making such fragile burgers.[/size][/QUOTE]

[color=slategray]Yeah that's cool, I don't think you intended to be offensive.

What I'm saying is that when someone talks about something that is actually bothering them in a fairly serious way...it's probably not a good idea to essentially compare that to a sandwich. lol

I know you didn't intend to be rude, but a few people did think it was a bit odd to make light of the situation. I can see what you were trying to do, it just didn't come off quite as intended is all.[/color]

[Charles]

Just work harder when you go back, Minako. Tenacity is your crazy glue when things get out of hand. But, to be honest your world isn't falling apart; this is more like a wake-up call. The adult world will give you those pretty often.

[Starwind]

I can understand that feeling. Like everything is just coming down around you. The best thing you can do is take it in stride and give it all you got. You can't let it get to you, cause as soon as it does is when your gonna start feeling trapped in. I had some issues with school too, and I let it get to me. And trust me, once it gets under your skin, it burrows real deep. It got real bad for me. I even tried to kill myself at one point. Thankfully I survived that ordeal.

The point is to always look for your way out. Always know that if one things doesn't work, then there's another way, then another and another. Never corner yourself and give yourself only one option. Sometimes you have to compromise, but as long as you stay consistent in your eventual goal, it'll work for you. Just never give up on your dream. I didn't, and look at me now. I'm doing good, looking good, feeling good, working a job I enjoy. Never lose that hope for a better tomorrow.

[Minako]

Thanks, you guys, for all the stories and advice. I appreciate it.

And James, I'll try to clear up my situation for you. I have been going to my dream university this past year (even coming out of a rough Senior year of HS, grades wise. I still had a 3.2 back then). At my freshman orientation, I got some bad advice as to taking Calc and Chem at the same time (I shouldn't have done that, stupid "advisors"), and I struggled my fall semester. I got a 1.75 GPA. Then, I was put on Academic probation, where I had to improve my grades, or they'll ask me to leave for at least a year (In the mean time, I need to do something, i.e. take classes somewhere else, to prove that I've done something to merit my re-entry into the university). My spring semester was not any better, if not worse, than my fall semester. I barely squeaked by math and chem (I was CERTAIN I failed chem, but I ended up getting a D), and the only class that I got a good grade (and actually liked) was English. Now I have a 1.5 GPA, and I need a 2.0 for this semester to keep me here, but I'll be taken off of probation when my CUMULATIVE GPA is 2.0.

Mind, I've wanted to go to this school since I was [B]8 years old[/B], so I was very upset when I found out that I might not go back. I cried on and off for the rest of the day, going into the next day (when I had an exam). I've worked SO hard to get here (it's a very exclusive school, usually only the top 10% of the class gets accepted, and I wasn't near close to that). Now I am not certain as to whether or not I AM on probation, since my account online hasn't said anything yet. Yet.

Then again, I could be mistaken as to the regulations. I'm only reciting what my chem professor told me. Now, I'm just waiting for an email from the school, telling me that I'm still on probation and can stay, or I have to leave... I'm so scared that I won't be able to go back. It's become my second home, and I'd created sort of a "family" there, with my friends. We looked out for one another, and I miss them already (I haven't seen them in only like 4 days). I recognize that there could be underlying issues. I even went to a counselor with my issues, and sometimes depression. I've done a lot to try to get over this depression (not that I'm sad or anything, but I just don't care anymore, and I'm really tired all the time). I'm even thinking about medication, and I'll ask my doctor about it when I see her for my check-up on Thursday.

I've never really felt that I don't know what tomorrow will bring, like I do now. I always have a plan, and now I don't...Keep those stories/advice coming, because this still is a difficult time for me.

[Kenshin DX]

Your world isnt falling apart.Far from it in fact. If I could I would trade problems with you in a second. School can be a nightmare but it isnt something that ruins your life. When I was 14 I was physically and mentally abused, lost my 16 year old cousin , and suffred from a extreme anxiety disorder. I felt hopeless and was contemplating suicide. Now Im 18 and am doing much better even though my perosnality has changed drasticly. Yes I still get depressed , smoke a lot of cigs , and am guilt ridden. I now feel there is light at the end of the tunnel. **** happens but we move on and hopefully become a hell of a lot stronger from it. I wish you the best of luck

[Nomurah!]

[COLOR=HotPink][B]To Minako here, I'm sure it feels like her world is really falling apart...I don't really like talking about my "world falling apart" because of how much of a loser I would sound like if I did talk about that stuff...but I will say this. Writing is a good way to get it all out. Poetry, lyrics even stuff like art... It helps alot. Anyway, it's alot better than being self abusive that's fershizzle, and doing drugs. Thank God, I didn't do drugs...or havn't done them yet, which I hope I won't, and I started being a little more optimistic. I try to be nice to people, and happy about my life, because, really how much time do you really have in this life?[/B][/COLOR]

[Farto the Magic]

[QUOTE=DeathKnight][/color]

[color=crimson]
The world can tighten it's grip around your throat at times. It can suffocate and press down on you with it's intense pressure. It can lash at you and whip you, it can do all these things to you but if you have a way through then just keep working on it.[/color][/QUOTE]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=DarkGreen]God, I just got out of that, and its exactly like that. When the world tightens its grip around your throat, you need to fight your way out.

Ok, my GPA was abysmal and I was an inch from being kicked from college. So, I tried again, and I was going strongly, except for my genetics class, which seemed to be out for blood. My genetics partner was doing fabulously, but I was slipping. On top of that, this girl that I had a hardcore crush on went aggressively after this guy, who was a serious jerk. My GPA ws slipping, the girl was gone, and I had nowhere to turn. Then, I started going nuts with the studying and ended up sacrificing my non-existent relationship with the girl. I went reclusive and lived off of crackers and cheese for two weeks.

I recently learned that I passed all of my classes with a significant enough GPA to get off of the college's ******* list and now I work with the girl, and learned that she didn't succeed at her attempt to date that jerk. So, life seems to be working out alright at this point. I have a job for the summer that pays well, an apartment for next year, and enough people nearby to make the summer fun.

Minako, I wish you good luck. Fight through this crap, because there will be an end, though it may not be in sight.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Gavin]

[quote name='Minako][B']Has there ever been a time in your life where your world has fallen apart?[/B][/quote]

[SIZE=1]Yes.[/SIZE]

[quote name='Minako][B']How did you deal with it?[/B][/quote]

[SIZE=1]In a word: badly. I isolated myself from friends and family for months, dropped out of high school and generally made **** of my life. On the plus side it did give me a lot of perspective and a chance to get to see how the world really operates for those in low paid jobs.

I'm not familiar with the American university system Minako so I can't really offer you any solid advice other than to try and improve your grades. [/SIZE]

[Minako]

Thanks again guys for all the comments. I now know what protocol I need to follow to try to keep myself there, and it'll end with me meeting with the dean of my college within the university (i.e. Mine's the agricultural and life sciences one) and pleading my case for him, and telling him what I'll do differently next year. I think i have a good argument, and I know I'll do better next year. I can kiss my social life good bye for the next 3 years, but it'll be worth it in the end.

And Kenshin,

"Your world isn't falling apart. Far from it in fact."

What falling apart is for me is different than what it is for you. You've been through a lot, and I'm not saying that it's nothing that you've been through. I've had a relatively easy life, and school means the world to me, especially because I've always wanted to go there. I'm sorry for what you've had to deal with, and I'm glad that you've made it out ok. That's so great for you, and I'm glad. :)

And right now, i'm doing ok. just a little impatient at my school because they're taking their sweet time in emailing me the form that I need...I'm still not happy about my performance, but I think I'll be ok.

[Kenshin DX]

[QUOTE=Minako]

And Kenshin,

"Your world isn't falling apart. Far from it in fact."

What falling apart is for me is different than what it is for you. You've been through a lot, and I'm not saying that it's nothing that you've been through. I've had a relatively easy life, and school means the world to me, especially because I've always wanted to go there. I'm sorry for what you've had to deal with, and I'm glad that you've made it out ok. That's so great for you, and I'm glad. :).[/QUOTE]

My bad, I didnt want to sound insenstive to your problems Im sorry if it came across that way. Im just saying things could be a lot worse. School is just one of those things where you have a lot of control over.And I completely understand that everyone holds everything in diffrent respects like you said falling apart for me is diffrent from falling apart for you. So Im sure you will do great next year nothing is ever as hopeless as it seems.

[Akieen Cloud]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=Navy]I think it's easy to say that all of us have had a wake up call, I know not to long ago I posted something similar to this here. My husband, who at the time was my fiance, and I split up, now my husband and my son are my world and my world just doesnt work unless they are both a part of it. At that time I only had one of them and I latched onto my son, not even taking a night to go to the movies or anything, i just stayed home with him, he slept in the bed with me instead of in his crib and it went on like that for months till I got a really big wake up call, a friend of ours told me that on his cell phone his gretting message was not his current girlfriends name or something concerning her, it was the title he had put there for me years ago, as a matter of fact it's still there to this day 4 years later from the time we started dateing.
I knew that there was hope we would be together again and I knew that it was only a matter of time, boastful I know but you see it had happened before and we always managed to come together in the middle. I guess what I'm saying is it may seem like its unbearable now and it may seem that way for a long time, or maybe for a week or so but no matter how long it will seem longer, but just keep your head up and look for ways to fix it, for me I just had to calm down and talk to him like I used to before I moved away from him, happy and energetic, the person he fell in love with. Gave him time to see what he really wanted and in he end it was me. I know it's far from the same but the lesson is the same.
Him and I are married now and are dealing with money problems like you usully so in life, but like all the times before when something went wrong, I'm staying me, laid back and happy.
Just keep looking forward and look at the good things in life and it wont seem as bad as what your mind is making it out to be. There are always other options, it may be your dream college but it's not the ONLY one for you. If it doesnt work out after another chance, try something else. The world is full of possibilties and not one of them is beyond anyones reach.
I wish you the best of luck.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[James]

[font=franklin gothic medium]If anything, Minako, this thread might give you some hope that your situation isn't the worst one you could possibly be in - we've all had difficult things happen in life but some things are worse than others.

I usually try to think to myself "what is the worst that could happen?"

In your case, education is your life, which is understandable. But even if you can't go to your current school, your education isn't over by default. You know? As others have said, this might be considered a wake-up call for you. It may also just be an example of how life can be unfair and difficult at the best of times - although I don't think these things necessarily happen for a reason, it's amazing how a seemingly bad situation can have an unexpected silver lining. :catgirl:[/font]