Writing Fyxe Gets Poetic

[Fyxe]

[size=1]I rarely write poems, unless I am in study hall and have some teenage-angst-ridden issue on my mind. However, that's not the case today. Last night I couldn't sleep, so I just started writing this poem. It is incredibly different from any other poems I have ever written. I'm not quite sure what to think of it, though.
For one, I've never dealt with such an intense topic in any of my poems. Second, I have always made my work rhyme. This is the first to not.
Ah well, anyway. I want to see what all of you think of this. Comments are always appreciated.

..........

Taught to kiss the sun,
Found your lips too many times burned.
Desperation for new hope,
A fresh practice readily born.

Your Demon of reason lends no more sympathy,
Left forsaken to ponder why you are immoral.
His Angel of deceit plays upon the flaws,
Voiced how innocence twists to corruption.

For the confessed truth,
I am depicted a liar.
Yet with guiltless speech,
Closer I am set to the fire.

To repent for false sins,
If you eat your words, you gain nothing.
?Bow to your knees, my child.?
Eat his, and you will be saved.

Chances to reconcile have long ago rotten,
But the waning spirit struggles to survive.
Constant, resurfaced bruises again to the floor;
Your Father knows his faithful.

............

I will probably put some more poems up later, if I have nothing better to do. :)[/size]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]:luv: I had no idea you were a great poet, Fyxe! This is cool as hell, sounds like it could be an Opeth song or something -- really dark and rather somber.

Firstly

[I]Taught to kiss the sun,
Found your lips too many times burned.[/I]

I know it's the first 2 lines, but that was probably my favorite part of the whole poem. Some very fun word usage. Now, I'm not always the best interpriter of poems, but I'm guessing this has something to do with religion, namely Christianity, and more specifically a general disdain toward it. I read it a few times to make sure it flowed in my mind and to accumulate my ideas on it, and I can't help but like it.

[I]Your Demon of reason lends no more sympathy,
Left forsaken to ponder why you are immoral.[/I]

That line I'd especially like to know what it means, since I can't help but feel that a lot of deep feelings went into this work.[/COLOR]

[Fyxe]

[size=1]Thanks for the feedback, DigitalBoy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

As for what this particular poem is about, you're right, it has to do with religion. I've heard a lot of horror stories about priests and pastors molesting young children, so I mainly based the poem around that idea.

When it talks about telling him the truth in confession, he is calling the child a liar. For this, he convinces the child that he/she is full of sin. And the way to repent, and rid him or herself of these sins, he/she must do as the pastor demands.

[i]To repent for false sins,
If you eat your words, you gain nothing.
?Bow to your knees, my child.?
Eat his, and you will be saved.[/i]

This part means the child begins to try and make up false sins, so the pastor will stop calling him a liar for being innocent. It also basically states that if you admit your faults, you are still frowned upon by the pastor. And, well, the third and forth lines are rather suggestive.

The line you were curious about talks about how the child cannot find any more support, no one will listen to him about what is happening. He does not understand why he is so sinful according to the pastor, but being young and naive, he figures the pastor is right. So he no longer sympathizes with himself either... the child's inner self is refered to as a demon because he is told he is wrong/evil.

And, yes. I feel very heavily about this subject. It's really terrible that someone you are supposed to trust manipulates you like that. Especially a man under holy oath. Bleeh.

Anywho. I think I might get some other ones up later if I can. I've been busy. :/[/size]

[Nomurah!]

[COLOR=HotPink][B]Nice. That's kind of like a story of Metal in itself. And thus, why really holy old guys scare me , even though I am Christian. I liked the use of words in this poem, it kept it fresh, and while I wondered what this poem was about, it helped hint alot. The poem was very descrpitive. That's a thumbs up.


[I]Your Demon of reason lends no more sympathy,
Left forsaken to ponder why you are immoral.
His Angel of deceit plays upon the flaws,
Voiced how innocence twists to corruption.[/I]

These lines sound like what you may call....an eternal battle within a mind, the concept of which, I like, so this may be my favorite part of the poem. So anyway, get some more stuff on here! :D[/B][/COLOR]