What does love feel like? (long rant lol)

[tachiKC]

Im curious, because there is a girl I really like and have feelings for, and really, if these feelings are love, then Im in trouble, because it makes things a lot more complicated.

I dont know if Im just setting myself up for getting hurt, but this is the first time Ive ever felt THESE exact feelings. Like, I dont know what to do lol.

I was in college this past year and there honestly was not a day when I did not think of her. Even with all of the pretty ladies over there, I had opportunities, but I just didnt want to, ya know. And she was going through alot, and her ex wasnt really there for her shes told me, but it really tore me apart knowing all that crap that she was going through and not being able to be there for her.

I mean, honestly everything about her, makes me crazy. About 4 months ago, she broke up with her ex badly, and right now shes told me that she wants some space. Ive told her a lot of what Ive been feeling and shes taken it all in stride, but I get the feeling that she might like me back, but Im not sure. Maybe shes just scared ya know, kind of like I am, haha. Shes kind of hinted at it during or conversations and messaging. If only we could hang out!

Thing is, that there are like 4 other guys going for her, and I dont know if I have the experience or whatever to do this. I mean, I just want her happiness, and if that doesnt include me, haha, Ill probably be hurt, and cry, but I cant blame her lol, I could never be mad at her.

Anyways, my friends tell me to just let her go, but I cant. I just cant. Right now, I mean, I want to be more than friends, but a good friend who has been through alot of what Im going through says thats all you can be, and that you just have to be confident, persistant, and wait, and if SHE wants to, she will do it. He said it sucks having to keep all of the feelings inside, but thats all you can do.

Man, why does "love" have to be so complicated, and honestly, girls and feelings and all of this crap.

[Tibby]

It's not love that is complicated; it's people that are complicated! You obviously feel very strongly about her, and the fact that you want her to be happy, even if it's not with you, is a very good sign! I can't tell you if you're in love or not. That is something only you can know and the way love feels depends on the person. I know this isn't much help, but, when you fall in love, you just know. You just know that that is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life and whatever comes after.

Right now, she's really hurt, and still recovering from the last jerk who hurt her. Stay in her life, but give her her space. You don't want to scare her away nor annoy her. Be her friend, be there for her, show her that you're not a jerk and that she can trust you. It may take some time, but, if it works out, it will be very much worth it!!

[affection]

[SIZE=1][FONT=Georgia]You know she must mean a whole lot to you that you wish for her happiness even if that means not being with you. I think it's great that you have met someone that makes you feel crazy, someone who you can picture yourself with. I do think that it's hard to find someone who makes your heart sing and you actually are totally selfless when it comes to them.

I think you will need to give her time since she was just hurt by her ex boyfriend. You don't want to be a rebound. Be careful with your and her heart. I think you should be there for her, if she'd let you. Prove to her that you aren't someone who would hurt her, but at the same time be able to give her the space so so much needs in her life.

And most of all, be yourself! Because if she can't fall in love with you, then she wasn't meant for you.


Good luck![/FONT][/SIZE]

[Funny Girl]

[COLOR=Magenta]Coming from a girl like me, it seems like she wants some space. But what I want to know is whether she broke up with him or he broke up with her. If she broke up with him then that means she's over him and probably won't trust someone like him or any guy for that matter.

If he broke up with her than that's a totally different story. It would mean that she still loves him and is still hoping that he will come back to her. It's hard to think about it the way some of us have but the truth is, she wants him back but can't figure out what she did wrong. It's better to let her have some space otherwise she might have to pretend that nothing has ever happened and be down when she's alone.

Sometimes the best thing for you, if you love her and what not, to just be friendly but not creepy friendly. If she seems sad, go up to her and ask what's wrong. If you think love is complicated, it really is. I've been through a lot and at times like these, all girl really want to do is jump off from a building but they can't if there is someone who really is a good friend and that they trust them. Build up trust with her and you may never know, she might be a different person. ^^[/COLOR]

[tachiKC]

As far as I can tell, from what shes told me, he broke up with her so he could mess around, smoke pot and drink and stuff. Shes over him, but NOT over the feeling of being used.

[TheShinje]

What does love feel like?

Warm apple pie, my friend. [i]Warm apple pie.[/i]

[Retribution]

[size=1]How well do you know this girl? Chances are if you've known her for a short time, you're just infatuated.[/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Love is not a feeling.

[tachiKC]

2 years. but maybe it is infatuation. but it has to start somewhere right.

[desertphoenix]

[quote name='Copycatalyst']Love is not a feeling.[/quote]
[COLOR=DarkRed] Love's a battlefield.

Well for the op's interest, well it may seem like a crush to me on the outside. You can't really force love, it just happens between two people, usually over time. Two years seems like a pretty sound friendship. That said and her situation, I would guess she is looking for comfort from somebody she can trust. My guess is you are that person she can trust. Sadly in this situation, she may not be looking for someone new right away, until she feels she can trust someone again in a relationship. Well in time, you'll never know what will happen between you two. Sorry for not giving instant girlfriend advise.[/COLOR]

[Charles]

[color=deeppink]Wow! It's been so long since I've posted in my home, Otaku Lounge! I wonder if anyone remembers me!

But, I digress. Love feels like a really big, sweet, cake that just fills your heart with happiness. I remember when I first met Erik, my feelings were like a twinkie, but as time went on, our love blossomed into a grand, ten-layer cake. As your love grows, it develops layers and the frosting only becomes tastier. That's what I think about love, anyway! I guess that sounded so nerdy![/color]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[quote name='desertphoenix][COLOR=DarkRed'] Love's a battlefield..[/COLOR][/quote]

Love is not a battlefield.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Copycatalyst']Love is not a battlefield.[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Copycatalyst does not consort in the language of mere mortals.

In any event, the whole concept of love is rather contrived. I find the more desperate you are, the quicker you fall into it, and the easier it is for someone to seem perfect. I know from experience - it can be dangerous.[/COLOR]

[TheShinje]

[QUOTE=Baby Girl][color=deeppink]Wow! It's been so long since I've posted in my home, Otaku Lounge! I wonder if anyone remembers me!
[/color][/QUOTE]

[color=crimson][size=3][font=century gothic] I remember you. Do you remember me? I roll as Jeremiah now but I used to post as Kuja. We had fun time, aye? Anyway. I reckon you oughta post up yer pics, then everyone in this thread will know what true LOVE feels like!

Damn have I missed u![/color][/size][/font]

[affection]

[quote name='Copycatalyst']Love is not a battlefield.[/quote]
[FONT=Georgia]
Love is what you make it. It can be full of happiness with little arguments or full of sadness with very few happy moments. People I know have stayed together even though they argue constantly. They say they are in love... but I don't think I'd want to consider myself in "love" and have everyday an argument..

They have even fought over ice cream. Yeah, it's that bad. She's really abusive too. but they are in "love" so it doesn't matter.[/FONT]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Well I'm no expert, but I think love can feel like a lot of things.

It can feel like someone just punched you in the stomach. Or it can make you float. Sometimes it can even be butterflies. That's what my friends say to look for. The butterflies.

And hey Baby girl, how have you been?[/color][/font]

[Animaniac]

just be careful alright if your close friends it may make her feel uncompfortable

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[QUOTE=affection][FONT=Georgia]
Love is what you make it. It can be full of happiness with little arguments or full of sadness with very few happy moments. People I know have stayed together even though they argue constantly. They say they are in love... but I don't think I'd want to consider myself in "love" and have everyday an argument..

They have even fought over ice cream. Yeah, it's that bad. She's really abusive too. but they are in "love" so it doesn't matter.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

Love is not full of arguments. Love is not what you make it. Love is undefinable and something beyond words, so why are we wasting our time trying to give it words? Love speaks for itself, words or no words. Let us [i]act[/i] in love, rather than seek to know what it is. Let's let it be the mediator of our choices. Let's [i]love[/i] each other as much as we can--

In order to say "I love you," one must first know the I. Then secondly one must know "love." Then thirdly, one must know this "you." Then love happens as a homonuclear diatomic occurance. It can also happen as a homonuclear polyatomic occurance, and does at times; and could go so far as to be a peace of love for all of mankind, if we put aside "religions" or various other systems and degradations of the human spirit and what the human being is.





Love is the conformity of truth.

[Tibby]

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Well I'm no expert, but I think love can feel like a lot of things.

It can feel like someone just punched you in the stomach. Or it can make you float. Sometimes it can even be butterflies. That's what my friends say to look for. The butterflies.[/color][/font][/QUOTE]

Everyone always talks about butterflies, but I never got butterflies in my stomach over Natin. I just knew from the begining that I wanted to be with him all the time. It's a vague and undefinable thing. I got butterflies over other guys, but not my love! It really depends on the person.

[affection]

[quote name='Copycatalyst]Love is not full of arguments. Love is not what you make it. Love is undefinable and something beyond words, so why are we wasting our time trying to give it words? Love speaks for itself, words or no words. Let us [i]act[/i] in love, rather than seek to know what it is. Let's let it be the mediator of our choices. Let's [i]love[/i'] each other as much as we can--[/quote]

[SIZE=1][FONT=Georgia]It's impossible to define, of course. Not even a dictionary gives you something accurate. I didn't say that it was full of arguments, but people claim it to be. They say they are in love but they are the most miserable people I know.This goes for both married and unmarried couples. There is no possible way to define love, you can't even explain it to the one you love. When I say it is what you make it, I don't mean you can sit there put a little sugar and honey into love. No, I mean that you have to try. You can't be selfish because it's not going to work out. You need compromise and trust. If you don't have that, then you really don't have much.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='affection][SIZE=1][FONT=Georgia]It's impossible to define, of course. Not even a dictionary gives you something accurate. I didn't say that it was full of arguments, but people claim it to be. They say they are in love but they are the most miserable people I know.This goes for both married and unmarried couples. There is no possible way to define love, you can't even explain it to the one you love. When I say it is what you make it, I don't mean you can sit there put a little sugar and honey into love. No, I mean that you have to try. You can't be selfish because it's not going to work out. You need compromise and trust. If you don't have that, then you really don't have much.[/FONT'][/SIZE][/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]i think what Mitch is trying to explain is that love is immaculate. It's not something that has a definitive form - you can't add and take away from it - it isn't an action. It's a feeling. It's not something you control through your actions, nor is it something other people can control for you - love just is. If you feel it, you feel it, if you don't, you don't and that's all there is to it.

The sort of love that has to be controlled is only the thing that we tell ourselves love its, brought on by the common idea of love. It becomes no longer an emotion, but a word subject to human definition.[/COLOR]

[affection]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange]i think what Mitch is trying to explain is that love is immaculate. It's not something that has a definitive form - you can't add and take away from it - it isn't an action. It's a feeling. It's not something you control through your actions, nor is it something other people can control for you - love just is. If you feel it, you feel it, if you don't, you don't and that's all there is to it.

The sort of love that has to be controlled is only the thing that we tell ourselves love its, brought on by the common idea of love. It becomes no longer an emotion, but a word subject to human definition.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[SIZE=1][FONT=Georgia]Of course, I wouldn't say any different. I was just saying that it comes in all forms. Needless to say some good and some bad comes out of it. But you can always feel it. I do agree with him on that, I just didn't know if I used to right wording when I explained it prior to his response.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[Guest Siafire]

[QUOTE=tachiKC]Im curious, because there is a girl I really like and have feelings for, and really, if these feelings are love, then Im in trouble, because it makes things a lot more complicated.

I dont know if Im just setting myself up for getting hurt, but this is the first time Ive ever felt THESE exact feelings. Like, I dont know what to do lol.

I was in college this past year and there honestly was not a day when I did not think of her. Even with all of the pretty ladies over there, I had opportunities, but I just didnt want to, ya know. And she was going through alot, and her ex wasnt really there for her shes told me, but it really tore me apart knowing all that crap that she was going through and not being able to be there for her.

I mean, honestly everything about her, makes me crazy. About 4 months ago, she broke up with her ex badly, and right now shes told me that she wants some space. Ive told her a lot of what Ive been feeling and shes taken it all in stride, but I get the feeling that she might like me back, but Im not sure. Maybe shes just scared ya know, kind of like I am, haha. Shes kind of hinted at it during or conversations and messaging. If only we could hang out!

Thing is, that there are like 4 other guys going for her, and I dont know if I have the experience or whatever to do this. I mean, I just want her happiness, and if that doesnt include me, haha, Ill probably be hurt, and cry, but I cant blame her lol, I could never be mad at her.

Anyways, my friends tell me to just let her go, but I cant. I just cant. Right now, I mean, I want to be more than friends, but a good friend who has been through alot of what Im going through says thats all you can be, and that you just have to be confident, persistant, and wait, and if SHE wants to, she will do it. He said it sucks having to keep all of the feelings inside, but thats all you can do.

Man, why does "love" have to be so complicated, and honestly, girls and feelings and all of this crap.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]if these feelings are love, then Im in trouble, because it makes things a lot more complicated.[/QUOTE]

I know for a fact that love is complicated. It's not exactly ABUSIVE all of the time, but it creates alot of problems. It leaves you feeling empty sometimes, and at other times gives you the greatest feeling of joy ever. In the end it is worth all of the effort. I say don't give up on the girl, in fact show her what a great person you are! Who cares who likes her? You like her and unless she has a guy, then go get her!

[James]

[color=olive]As a practical matter, you're this girl's friend but you also have strong romantic feelings for her.

I think the worst thing someone can do - if they know a friend has strong romantic feelings for them - is to lead them on. This isn't always done intentionally. This girl can tell you she "needs space" but if she ends up telling you that for years - without ever actually outright saying "No, I don't want to be in a relationship" - that's an example of leading you on.

I'm not saying she's doing that right now. However, I do think that you sometimes need to stand back and look at your emotional wellbeing. If you remain this girl's friend for a long time but she doesn't commit one way or the other (i.e. friendship or relationship), my advice would be to reconsider your position with her.

Ultimately I think it's usually very important to be clear with people. If this really causes you problems, I would just literally tell her that you're interested in more than a friendship and you really feel you need an answer one way or the other. Even if she goes out with you, it doesn't mean she's going to marry you tomorrow - you're simply asking whether or not she wants to attempt something romantic.

If she really doesn't, she should not be afraid to say so. Yes it will hurt, but it could save your friendship.

Also don't forget one important rule - if you develop a romance with a friend, you face one greast risk: if the romance ends (for whatever reason) it can be very hard or impossible to salvage that original friendship.

Love is indeed complicated but sometimes you do have to try to look at your situation objectively...sometimes it can help.

Everyone here as done a great job talking about philosophy related to love and stuff, but I wanted to try to give you a more practical opinion if you're looking for one. :catgirl:[/color]

[Meggido]

I've actually been going through a similar thing myself recently. In fact I actually went ahead and asked the friend out and lucky that she said yes. We haven't gone out yet but we will be soon. Thing is that it's kinda awkward for both of us right now as neither of us have actually been in a relationship, but hopefully it will get easier. For us it's something completely new and foreign.

All I can say is go for it. If you don't you'll probably end up regretting it. Not for ever of course but the time being. I'm actually quite a shy person myself and have always had trouble asking girls out, but always regretted at least for a little those i didn't. But then again I originally held it in my head that I'd never ask one of my friends out because of what James said.

[QUOTE=James][color=olive]Also don't forget one important rule - if you develop a romance with a friend, you face one greast risk: if the romance ends (for whatever reason) it can be very hard or impossible to salvage that original friendship.
[/color][/QUOTE]

However I've heard from a few friends of times when they broke up with friends that they'd asked out, that it had usually been a mutual thing and so they were able to keep that friendship. Both parties knew that on a romantic level it wasn't working out but decided to remain as friends. But I guess it's a case to case situation.

In the words of a friend "the worst they can say is no". And if she truly is a friend that should be the worst. if you ask her out and she says no, it shouldn't really put a strain on your friendship, but if it does hopefully things will right themselves with time.

I hope that helps, I'm not usually good with giving advice.