Am I too young to tell?

[Todesengel]

Ever since I was around 11 or 12, when I first hit puberty, I've noticed other males in a way most guys dont, but I was always too scared to think about it. But recently, I've became more open minded and decided it was ok. Im 14 now, and I'm trying to figure out if Im actually bi (I like women too), or i it's just a phase Ill grow out of. I recently told my best friend that I thought I was bi, he just told me I was stupid for thinking so and said it was active horomones/a phase I'll grow out/ect. But I'm not so sure, and I need help. So I want to know, do you think Im too young to tell or that it might actually be something? Im too scared to tell any other friends or family members (I live in a very socially backwards, homophobic town) and I'm just really, really confused, especially recently because Ive developed a huge crush on a male friend and he is all I can think about right now.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Ah, I faintly remember this part of my life (it wasn't actually that long ago, but whatever.) This thing is very complicated it is. I don't even know if sexuality is real. If everyone was attracted to the oposite sense then it makes sense, but if some can be attracted to the same sex then I don't think any of it matters. As far as I'm concerned, you're attracted to who your attracted to and titles don't matter.

I don't consider myself to be gay or bisexual or any of that crap, because I happen to find girls attractive way more than guys, but i'd be lying my *** of if I said I didn't lust after a sweet piece of a hot guy every once in a while. My concesus is **** sexuality, i'll bang whoever I want and you can make up your mind about what to call me.

You may not be as carefree as myself, but not only is this the way that makes sense, but it will help you survive. BTW, if that guy happens to have a thing for guys, go for it. If not, you're ovbiously screwed.

PS: I know that most people think I'm the worst person to ever take advice from, but decide on your own and not based on what others say.[/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICI2oVBG5H0[/font][/color][/size]

[Up4anime]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I think it's a phase you'll grow out of.When i was 12 I was going through the same thing.I even thought I kinda like my friend but know im 15 and that all seems so long ago.I have no feelings for any girls at all.I do not look at them to often(I dont look my friends in the face when i speak to them),and I cant stand to be touched by them most of the time(especially hugs).
I think it's just hormones gone wild.Once you see a really hot girl you'll probly start to think hey boys really arent worth another thought.[/COLOR]

[TheResplendent]

[QUOTE=2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange]My concesus is **** sexuality, i'll bang whoever I want and you can make up your mind about what to call me.
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[font=tahoma]
Anyway, on to the subject at hand. Awareness of sexual orientation can be realized as early as pre-teen childhood so if your curious, willing to experiment, or even just clear but unsure on how to approach it...your reluctance or uncertainty is more than likely not due to age. It's really quite as simple as that, but if you also want to know what it could be attributed to then I'd say just your lack of experience and therefore not yet having a solid foundation for basing a confident decision on. Whatever you do, don't try to supress feelings that seem to be arising naturally within you because it isn't popular or anything deviant from what you've noticed about popular society. If you want to figure it out, then let things play out so you can either confirm or denounce the feelings your having.

Some people are lucky enough to have things figured out for sure early in their lives, others take a while, some don't even figure it out until their thirties. I for one am thankful that i figured out I was straight for sure before going into high school, but don't fret if you can't figure things out that quickly. There's no standard or time limit that you have to adhere to. Things just seem to clear themselves up before a certain age for most people.
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[Shy]

[size=1]While it's somewhat normal for both boys and girls to be confused about their sexuality through puberty, there are a lot of people who simply don't 'grow out of it' when they get older. If you are developing significant emotional and sexual attraction towards someone it's probably not just a phase. You are very young, though, and it can be incredibly difficult to sort out a lot of these complicated new feelings and emotions.

I was somewhat lucky in the sense that I determined which side of the fence I fell on at an early age. Just the same, I experimented with the opposite sex up until my graduation from high school. If you truly are 'bi' then my best advice would be to focus exclusively on women for the time being, since growing up gay in a conservative town can be a nightmare and dangerous.

Having said that, you need to be honest with yourself and with the people you feel you can trust. One of the first places I came out to were these message boards, and I looked to this place as a safehaven from the tremendous pressure I felt growing up. I would recommend finding an outlet where you can be yourself, whether that be here, a close friend's house, a private blog, or at home with your family. If you think that coming out to your best friends or certain family members will help relieve some of this stress, go for it.

You should keep in mind though that letting someone in on a secret creates added pressure for that person to keep it. It may ultimately strain the relationship, and I've known very few people able to keep something like this hidden for long.

As for the crush: He's straight. Trust me. They always are.

-Shy[/size]

[Todesengel]

I really dont think it's a phase I'll grow out of because I think about the guy ALOT. Way more than anyone whos going through a "Phase" should. As for the sexual preference of the guy, he's as straight as an arrow, anything an happen I guess, but this guy is definety straight, even if he was into guys, I doubt he would admit it, because it would mess up his reputation so bad, so it's pretty much gonna remain unrequitted. There was a kid I knew in 6th grade, he admitted he was gay and was relentlesly picked on, day after day, it was so bad he switched schools, I havent seen him since, and I dont want to end up like him. If I keep having these feelings, I definatly wont come out to anyone but very close friends. Actually, I kind of regret telling my best friend, he's the kind of person that thinks sexuality is a choice, and that I could control it, he also said, as I mentioned earlier, that It was just crazy horomones/a phase.

[affection]

[FONT=Georgia][SIZE=1]Well in reality you can probably answer that question for yourself. It's complicated for everyone (at first), I'm sure... I've went through the whole thing myself. In the end I just found that guys are much more attractive (to me) than girls who moan and complain all the time.

As mentioned you had said you lived in a homophobic town. I've went to a homophobic school in which football players would pound homosexual guys. (For some reason homosexuality in girls was alright to them hahaha) If you think it's best to keep it a secret so that you can avoid all of that unnecessary pain, then go for it. But it's not going to be easy either way you look at it.

People will find out. They always do. I never know how people find out... even ones you've never even known. Just be careful if you want to keep it to yourself.

My Uncle is homosexual and he moved out of this state into a more accepting region. People are cruel.

Honestly please be careful. I couldn't tell you how horrible my old school was.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[Sara]

[quote name='Todesengel']I really dont think it's a phase I'll grow out of because I think about the guy ALOT. Way more than anyone whos going through a "Phase" should. As for the sexual preference of the guy, he's as straight as an arrow, anything an happen I guess, but this guy is definety straight, even if he was into guys, I doubt he would admit it, because it would mess up his reputation so bad, so it's pretty much gonna remain unrequitted. There was a kid I knew in 6th grade, he admitted he was gay and was relentlesly picked on, day after day, it was so bad he switched schools, I havent seen him since, and I dont want to end up like him. If I keep having these feelings, I definatly wont come out to anyone but very close friends. Actually, I kind of regret telling my best friend, he's the kind of person that thinks sexuality is a choice, and that I could control it, he also said, as I mentioned earlier, that It was just crazy horomones/a phase.[/quote][color=#b0000b]In a brilliant display of not-actually-addressing the problem, I'm going to say: You're fourteen! You shouldn't be worrying about boys [i]or[/i] girls! Go play kickball or Dungeons & Dragons or something!

But yeah. Kids are cruel, so unless you're a [i]really[/i] tough cookie, I'd keep any "Huzzah! A perfect excuse to verbally, physically, and emotionally abuse this person for the next four years!" differences on the down-low. Even with your close friends, it would be a good idea to test the waters by talking about GBTLA issues in general before actually coming out to them. The person you know might not be ready to handle that sort of revelation.

I consider myself straight, but I had a couple very alarming experiences involving two such conversations. One of my best friends admitted that she "wouldn't be able to be friends" with me, and would "definitely stop talking" to me if I were a lesbian, and another very close friend misinterpreted the conversation and actually [i]did[/i] stop talking to me. And remember: these were low-stress, casual conversations about hypothetical situations, not my saying "By the way, guys, I'm a lesbian!"

So be careful. You go through enough heartache in high school to add to it needlessly by coming out to the wrong people (or even the right people at the wrong time).

"I'm not bisexual, homosexual, or heterosexual. I'm just plain [i]sexual[/i]."[/color]

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR=Navy][I]Experimentation is normal. It's only between to trustworthy friends. So I don't suggest doing it.

I've been through what's called denial for a while but I've found myslef. Focus on girls right now and if you move to a town that can excepte people, think about it more then.

It's really confusing and hard to get through. But due to experimenting my friend found who he really was. I'm not going to name anybody.

If you are really confused and you can't think about girls that much than still say your bi. Because if you say your gay, then it could be too late by then.[/I][/COLOR]
When people ask what I am in terms of sexualtiy i say I'm an it.I mean that i don't care what I am.
[B]
[COLOR=Navy] But I consider myself straight because I'm so into girls. But like DB I find some guya litle cute. Hey women do it all the time. "Hey Jade look at her she's cute!'' that's a prime example.

In my eyes everybody has a little gay in tehm. [/COLOR] [/B]

[Fyxe]

[size=1]I don't believe someone is ever "too young" to know, realize, or worry about their sexuality.
Most people that are actually gay don't address it for a long time. I mean, if you don't really ever think about it, you never worry about it, or try to "find yourself." At the same time, you always sort of know. I guess. Haha.
I mean, the first time I fell for a girl (hard, might I add) I looked back, and sort of realized it was obvious through my actions and thoughts from when I was younger. (I mean, I always wanted to be the husband, or boyfriend, when some of my friends would play 'house.' Little things like that.)

But if you aren't sure whether it's a phase or not, if I were you, I wouldn't put yourself out there, saying you are bisexual, or gay. Because, if you find out later that is WAS a phase, it'll be hard as hell to pull yourself back up out of the hole you just dug.
Experimentation is not rare at all. I mean, have you ever heard of LUGs? Lesbians Until Graduation. Meaning, high school or college girls do a lot of sexual activities with other girls, until they graduate. And then they end up marrying a guy. To me, that's annoying as hell. But, people get curious. :P

Anyway. I wouldn't get too uptight about it. Only time, and experience, can tell. :)[/size]

[The13thMan]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Well, sometimes i know i think it'd be easier if i were gay. That way i wouldn't have to deal with the occasional crazziness of women. Also i wouldn't have to worry about gettin' a guy pregnant... Yeah, that's not fun. Anyways, i'm not. Oh well, haha.

I sometimes look at other guys and i think, hey that's a good looking guy. Brad Pitt for example is a good lookin' guy. I'm not afraid to admit that. But then i think of anything even remotely sexual with any male and i start feeling sick. Not literally of course, but no, man sex is icky- sticky. So... ask yourself if you look at other men and see if you can imagine yourself doing all of those down right dirty things adults do. If you can, you're gay or bi, if not, then you're not. Or... maybe you're not old enough to be thinking about sex yet. This is just how i settled it in my mind in that one moment of doubt long long ago. =D

Anyways, i hope you figure things out! But whatever you do, don't stress over it. It's cool man, you'll figure things out. Trust me.


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[Harry]

Totally gay.

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Sexuality is just an illusion. Genders are just an illusion. They are a schemata-framework we've decided to take from our more primordial-growings and keep with us--when at this point in time, if we choose to accept it, there is no longer any need for sexual dichotomization, nor gender role stereotyping.

[Funny Girl]

[COLOR=Magenta]Well think about it. You never know if you are gay or waht. All you have to do is try and clear your mind and think about it. Ask yourself if you are gay or not. I'm sure the answer will come to you eventually. [/COLOR]

[quote name='Premonition][COLOR=Navy][B]In my eyes everybody has a little gay in tehm. [/B'][/COLOR][/quote]

[COLOR=Magenta]I agree with Premonition there. Most of the time I think that guys are hot but there are times where I say, "That girl looks cute."
I'm straight but you can't help but notice that the same gender can be knid of cute.[/COLOR]