Guide To Becoming An Internet Superstar At OtakuBoards - An Essay

[Boo]

[quote name='DeathKnight][color=crimson']I'm not really sure how to react to only being classified as a troll thus far.[/color][/quote][size=1]That's why you should stay right below the surface of stardom, like myself.[/size]

[BlueYoshi]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange'].also, both the13thman and wet cement use this color. Personally, I think when the 13thman uses it it's even more annoying than when I do >_>[/COLOR][/quote]

[color=darkred]Man, I thought you were the 13thman. That guy seemed to disappear and then you popped up, so I figured he changed his name. You both use the same font colour, so it made sense.

And "DarkOrange"? That has to be the biggest overstatement since General Custer said "those Indians look a little bit pissed off". There's nothing dark about your orange. It's just orange![/color]

[Rachmaninoff]

[B]Method 28: Actually Be Nice[/B]

Far less certain or even obtainable than the other methods since it actually requires lots of ridiculous behind the scenes work. Such as answering the pm's of poor newbies who are lost or confused. As well as avoiding obvious trolling or clobbering of members who really should be clobbered. It also requires at least attempting to respond politely to personal attacks instead of going off the deep end. It's also rarely done since like method three, it can be shockingly boring. Still chances of modship are a possibility as well as eventually being recognized.

[B]Drawbacks[/B]: Chance are no one will ever know that you're pretty nice to people. You'll just slip through the cracks and be considered nothing more than an ordinary member. Also, it requires actually having patience.

[B]Your Mentors: [/B] Panda, James, SunfallE, Shy, Aaryanna_Mom

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=Bombu][color=darkred]Man, I thought you were the 13thman. That guy seemed to disappear and then you popped up, so I figured he changed his name. You both use the same font colour, so it made sense.

And "DarkOrange"? That has to be the biggest overstatement since General Custer said "those Indians look a little bit pissed off". There's nothing dark about your orange. It's just orange![/color][/QUOTE]

[SIZE=4][COLOR=Orange]this is orange[/COLOR]
[COLOR=DarkOrange]this is darkorange[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Anyway, I almost find this offensive. If I had to pick my single least favorite member on these entire boards... >_> it would be him. XD [/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

[b]Method 69: Suck Up To People Like You're Sucking On a Popsickle[/b]

When Ken posts complaining that he's only a troll, or say someone else feels down in the OB dumpster, give them a nice fellatio and say things of import to them which aggrandize their Ego to heightened degrees; almost like giving a Mitchbackmassage, one could say, in some sense, or a Jehburger with [i]extra[/i] cheese. This method is perfect, for once taking the blow-up doll of another's Ego and blowing and blowing it, it arises largesse and colossus like the end boss on [i]Shadow of the Colossus[/i], or like a nice breast augmentation (only this is a [i]beast[/i] augmentation); and lo and behold, you have become the boy wonder of the Supermen, a side-kick superstar like Flash Gordon on crack going to the OB halls as if it's some justice league.

[b]Models[/b]: Your mom. Definitely. She is a [i]gooood[/i] model.

[Ellerby]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']Anyway, I almost find this offensive. If I had to pick my single least favorite member on these entire boards... >_> it would be him. XD [/COLOR][/quote]
[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Really? He seems like a nice enough guy. I can definitely think of members I hate more. Like all those spam bots that constantly attack us (though you wouldn't know that because our mods to such a kick *** job of getting rid of them). :whoops:[/FONT][/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='White][COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Really? He seems like a nice enough guy. I can definitely think of members I hate more. Like all those spam bots that constantly attack us (though you wouldn't know that because our mods to such a kick *** job of getting rid of them). :whoops:[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Well, do spambots count as members, since they don't really have... thoughts? And besides, they aren't members anymore thanks to the lightning-speed of mod deletion (I've always been impressed by this, longest I ever saw a bot live was an hour and it joined at 3 AM - the mods deserve a pat on the back!)...(but not from me, cuz I'd find a way to make it sexual...)[/COLOR]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']Anyway, I almost find this offensive. If I had to pick my single least favorite member on these entire boards... >_> it would be him. XD [/COLOR][/quote]
Awww. Am I in the running, at least?

Anyway:
Method 70: Actually post once in a while.
As 2007digitalboy said, if you're everywhere, it's hard not to get noticed. This is where I fail.

Mentors: 2007digitalboy, DeadSeraphim.

Method 71: Always be right
Okay, not technically "right," but post stuff others can't argue with. For example, if someone asks you what the meaning of life is, give 'em a dictionary definition. Most imoprtant person in your life? HUGE pic of Jesus Christ.

Mentors: DeadSeraphim

Method 72: Troll your butt off
This is the one where you either type Leik diss OMG!!! or pick a member and follow them around flaming them. The upside is you get noticed. The downside is you get IP banned and most of your posts are deleted.

Mentors: Well, you don't wanna tread this path anyway. But... maybe me on a bad day.

[Sojiro47]

[quote name='Aceburner']or pick a member and follow them around flaming them. The upside is you get noticed. The downside is you get IP banned and most of your posts are deleted.[/quote]
[font=impact]Hey!!! Who does that remind you of Ace?

Method 73:

Be absolutly cool, all knowing, philosophical, and do so in a nice way so that everyone looooves. When I try, people tell me to change my font color. (I know, I'm a conformist)

Mentors: Charles[/font]

[Jokopoko]

[size=1][color=teal]I realise that if I actually cared about being an OB star, I'd most likely fall under "Method 10: Be obsessive and proud of it." given that I adore Transformers and any of my OB friends will tell you this.

Also my avi and banner should tip you off as well.[/size][/color]

[Claire]

[QUOTE=Jokopoko][size=1][color=teal]I realise that if I actually cared about being an OB star, I'd most likely fall under "Method 10: Be obsessive and proud of it." given that I adore Transformers and any of my OB friends will tell you this.

Also my avi and banner should tip you off as well.[/size][/color][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Arial]I would as well, even though I rarely have banners or my avatar set up to show it. I do post their lyrics in my signature more often than not, though. I'm sure tons of people know how AFI-crazy I am. =P

But in all honesty, I don't see how that would make me some kind of "star." People just might think I don't listen to anything other than AFI, which isn't exactly how I'd prefer to be viewed. [SIZE=1](I guess it would be all my fault, though. Ghghghghrhrgh.)[/SIZE][/FONT]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[QUOTE=Sojiro47][font=impact]Hey!!! Who does that remind you of Ace?

Method 73:

Be absolutly cool, all knowing, philosophical, and do so in a nice way so that everyone looooves. When I try, people tell me to change my font color. (I know, I'm a conformist)

Mentors: Charles[/font][/QUOTE]
That's what I meant to imply, dude.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Aceburner']Awww. Am I in the running, at least?[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]No, but this post just earned you a place next to Prem on the 'people I consider less important than me' list. Basically, it's a list of people who I'm mean to in a way that is funny to myself and that person, but annoying to everyone else. You can expect tons of angry PMs from me about stupid things - in fact, you, Prem and I might just start a stupidity circle for PMing each other. What I'm interested in, thoughm is wether Prem is going to be mean to you now seing as he was on my list longer and is therfor kind of my second-in-command, wheras you're the new guy. this sort of group dynamic often works well in cartoons, so it should make for fun antics.

I completely digress...

Clurr, I agree, I think you're obsession is how a lot of people recognize you - that and you're a mod, which gives you an automatic degree of fame. Also, to both of you number dudes, aren't your just kind of restating previous ones? Also, congrtulations to White for seemlessly moving us from entering the 30s to enteriing the 70s.[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR=goldenrod][quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange]Well, do spambots count as members, since they don't really have... thoughts? And besides, they aren't members anymore thanks to the lightning-speed of mod deletion (I've always been impressed by this, longest I ever saw a bot live was an hour and it joined at 3 AM - the mods deserve a pat on the back!)...([B]but not from me, cuz I'd find a way to make it sexual...[/B'])[/COLOR][/quote]>_< I swear DB there should be a method where the member gets infamous for being a known pervert. Or for finding a way to mention sex in most of their posts. Like that horrible would you rather one you did. o_O That and reading that was seriously freaky! So yeah, no pats on the back, [I]especially [/I]if it's you! :p[/COLOR]

[Claire]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=goldenrod]>_< I swear DB there should be a method where the member gets infamous for being a known pervert. Or for finding a way to mention sex in most of their posts. Like that horrible would you rather one you did. o_O That and reading that was seriously freaky! So yeah, no pats on the back, [I]especially [/I']if it's you! :p[/COLOR][/quote]

[FONT=Arial]That could probably fall under obsession. :P[/FONT]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR=goldenrod]>_< I swear DB there should be a method where the member gets infamous for being a known pervert. Or for finding a way to mention sex in most of their posts. Like that horrible would you rather one you did. o_O That and reading that was seriously freaky! So yeah, no pats on the back, [I]especially [/I']if it's you! :p[/COLOR][/quote]
Actually, This seems to call for...

[B]Method 74: Perv it up.[/B]
Talk dirty. Mention hentai in every post. Say "that's what she said" in response to things that don't even sound remotely sexual. Pros: You [B]will[/B] get noticed. I guarantee it. Cons: you just might get arrested.

Mentors: 2007digitalboy.

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=Aceburner]Actually, This seems to call for...

[B]Method 74: Perv it up.[/B]
Talk dirty. Mention hentai in every post. Say "that's what she said" in response to things that don't even sound remotely sexual. Pros: You [B]will[/B] get noticed. I guarantee it. Cons: you just might get arrested.

Mentors: 2007digitalboy.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]If I get myself arrested, it probably won't be because of what I said, but beacuse of the age of the person I said it to >_> [SIZE=1](lolicon power!)[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']No, but this post just earned you a place next to Prem on the 'people I consider less important than me' list. Basically, it's a list of people who I'm mean to in a way that is funny to myself and that person, but annoying to everyone else. You can expect tons of angry PMs from me about stupid things - in fact, you, Prem and I might just start a stupidity circle for PMing each other. What I'm interested in, thoughm is wether Prem is going to be mean to you now seing as he was on my list longer and is therfor kind of my second-in-command, wheras you're the new guy. this sort of group dynamic often works well in cartoons, so it should make for fun antics.[/COLOR][/quote]
Tact. Subtlety. Insulting two people at once.

db has it all.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[QUOTE=DeadSeraphim][COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]
Tact. Subtlety. Insulting two people at once.

db has it all.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]sarcasm, abnormal font, size one text, and sexy pictures with cigarettes. Deadsy has it all as well ;)

EDIT: *looks at thread post count* >_> <_< I think I'll jet for a bit ^^;;[/COLOR]

[Ellerby]

[FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=DimGray]Actually, 2007DigitalBoy, it was Mitch who jumped to 69, not me. But that's okay. ;)

I think a lot of you are missing the entire point of these methods. These are methods on [i]how to become an Internet Superstar At OtakuBoards[/i]. Not how to be annoying, perverted or always there (none of which make you a superstar). Aceburner, I'm looking at you and your methods. ~_~

Here's [i]my[/i] first method...

[B]Method #29: All your posts call for a "WTF?!" reaction.[/B]

If your posts are just so ridiculous that people laugh at you and don't even bother replying, you're on the right track. If you can keep this up [i]without being banned[/i] then you are definitely on the right track. However nobody has really gotten away with it (eventually getting kicked). Nonetheless these mentors are still Superstars in my books.

[B]Mentors:[/B] Naps the Cat and Prick Wizard.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Nerdsy]

[quote name='White][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=DimGray][b]or always there[/b] (none of which make you a superstar).[/COLOR'][/FONT][/quote]

[color=deeppink]Worked for me.[/color]

[Ellerby]

[quote name='Nerdsy][color=deeppink']Worked for me.[/color][/quote]
[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Eh, always being there may have helped you but there are definitely other methods that you fall under and I think those are the ones that made you famous.

I really only remembered you (when you first reappeared) because I remembered your banner with the stick figures and the sign that said "Beware of the nerds."[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Nerdsy]

[quote name='White][COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Eh, always being there may have helped you but there are definitely other methods that you fall under and I think those are the ones that made you famous. [/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

[color=deeppink]Mabye Sara's Method 21, but that's really just another way of saying "never frelling leaves." This was my original 'bout with superstardom back in v2, of course, and not anything I may or may not have now. It's difficult and transitory, but by gum it works.

I also have absolutely no recollection of this stick figure banner. o.O[/color]

[Ellerby]

[quote name='Premonition][COLOR=Navy']Method 75 or 30: Post with your friends and annoy the crap out of everybody (white are you certain it's method 29?)[/COLOR][/quote]
[COLOR=DimGray][FONT=Tahoma]Not including 69 and up... yes, it's 29. I figure we can keep the high numbers while we fill in the gap between 29 and 69.

Okay, Nerdsy. It had two stick figures, one (with big glasses) was behind bars and at the right there was a sign that said "Beware of the Nerds" or something. All of it looked hand-drawn on Paint. That's all I really remember.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[QUOTE=Premonition][COLOR=Navy]Yeah, it's true, what can I say. But if he dares to even go into the rank of 2nd-in-command, I'll hang him by his eyelids.

But I too, digress.

Method 75 or 30: Post with your friends and annoy the crap out of everybody (white are you certain it's method 29?)

If you post insults, friendly comments or even threats against your friends in a thread you will get noticed.
[B]Pros: [/B] People will post about it.
[B]Cons:[/B] they'll will ahte you in that post.

Mentors: 2007DigitalBoy, Premonition[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]As much as the mutual masturbation you two are doing is amusing, being an annoying dick doesn't make you a superstar. Making ad infinitum methods to define yourself as such makes you even less of a superstar and more of a D-Grade horror movie actor, that one guy everyone including the paparazzi always avoids on the red carpet.

Exposure isn't superstardom, [i]respect and admiration[/i] is superstardom.

[B]Method 30: Be Deathknight[/B]
It doesn't matter what the state of your hair is, or that you have a turtleonhead fetish, just being Deathknight is enough. Spreading fear and terror where you go, but being loved by everyone simultaneously, you can't help but be a superstar. Unfortunately, the usage of this method has run its course, and no longer works. It is included strictly for posterity.

[i]Mentors[/i]: Deathknight[/font][/color][/size]