Interracial Relationships

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

So. Me and my girlfriend of two months are an interracial relationship. She is black, and I am not, hah (due to my Greek lineage, few call me white). Ever since our 'coming together' we encounter a bit of subtle racism on both sides on the street or when we are out together.

Walking through the mall, you hear the whispers, and you see the stares from others. My own father, I hate to say, is even displeased with the relationship. He sees it more as a way for me to spite him rather than a legitamite relationship. Both me and my girfriend are of the liberal mindset and don't really think twice about one another's differences in other ways than humorous.

So, I dare ask, has anyone else been in an interracial relationship? What are your views on the subject? Have you encountered these kind of public reactions from the relationship?

And do you have any advice in dealing with rascist problems at home or abroad?[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

You know, **** them. **** them. I cannot believe this country, these people, and how they treat each other. You have my 100% support of your relationship and I don't give a **** what anyone says. You do not deserve to be treated that way, and you should not take it. In situations where people look or stare or perhaps even say something to you, all you have to do is kindly tell them off; then there's nothing they can do. If they come at you with biting phrases and biting looks and you give them the austerity and the kindness of a butterfly they won't even know what the hell to think. It's what I love to do to people whom are yelling or screaming at me. It really sets them off-kilter and they really consider. . .even if they may not directly show it--maybe what I am being [i]is[/i] unwarranted.

As far as me. . .I'm bisexual so I've encountered various problems with this. In fact recently I was walking through the mall and some kid just says right as I'm walking past [i]gay[/i]. It was very offensive but I merely kept walking and did not let the little punk's idiocy bother me. So in the end also, don't let what anyone says bother you; especially your father. My father was quite mean to me as well so I understand where you're coming from there. In fact my own father abused me in many ways, mostly verbally, though physically too.

Never back down from what you are and what you know. To do so is to allow this blatant disregard for humility and humanness to continue to efface away the beauty of our lives.

[Retribution]

[size=1]I'm in an interracial relationship, and let me tell you, black males have it pretty badly. Our reputation is only compounded for the worst when your girlfriend is asian. Gotta love that subtle racism.

But really, people who think "It aint right" need to wake up and realize we're not living in the 60s anymore. Or take a headdive from a 5 story building. Their choice.[/size]

[Ikillion]

[COLOR=#5d0b08][FONT="Trebuchet MS"][SIZE="1"]Much like Retribution I'm in an Interracial Relationship with an Asian female (Well half white and half Asian but who's really keeping tabs), and despite the fact that I do live in the south, I've not experienced any verbal confrontation as of yet. This probably could be because of the kind of community I live in. But even that can take me so far.

With how society is right now, its only natural that when you are in this kind of a relation ship that you will recieve hostility from others. Some people think its unnatural while others think that a person can say that they are a certain race if both of their parents are of the same race (which may be impossible due to people's history). But eh, I just let people think whatever they think and get on with my own life.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

As much as I usually ignore things, it kinda hits me in the pride when I hear about her friends talking all sorts of garbage about me. And while I usually wouldn't care, if a man I've never met is saying how I'm such a "punk-*** white boy" and what not, well, I get a bit uppity and ready to fight. Especially when he doesn't even know what I could do to his face.

When we're in the mall and a group of black guys whisper "She's wrong for that" or something, yeah that gets on my nerves. When a dude walks by and checks her out and then looks me in the eye like he's going to do something, yeah, I get ready to pounce on some dude.

They should thank God for mall security.

I'm a fairly prideful person, and I'm driven by my honor. So when my honor is insulted, I'm tempted to get into a physical confrontation, however the people around me always keep this from me.

So with all this stuff, alot of aggression has built up inside me that I have yet to vent, heh. As much as I'd like to dismiss all the words and looks, I really can't allow people to dishonor me and my girlfriend like they do, ya know? I suppose that's my biggest dilemma.[/color][/size]

[Malkav]

Her friends are actually jealous cause she's "breaking" rules and they can't find the courage within themselves to try new things, or other races. Kinda like saying you only like pepsi when you've never tried coke.

[John]

Well, look on the bright side of all this: it'll at least strengthen your relationship that much more, since you both have each other to lean on whenever things get adverse.

[quote name='Malkav']Her friends are actually jealous cause she's "breaking" rules and they can't find the courage within themselves to try new things, or other races. Kinda like saying you only like pepsi when you've never tried coke.[/quote] [spoiler]Coke is, for the record, better.[/spoiler]

[Malkav]

[COLOR=#000000][quote]Coke is, for the record, better.[/quote]blasphemy...and to stay on topic, just give it time.
[/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Boss, you need to let go of that pride. It is going to make you end up doing something you will regret. I won't be there to say I told you so, because I already did tell you so. [i]Kindness[/i] my friend; it is the answer, always. And violence will never, ever be the answer. "Pride goeth before the fall," and the fall from pride is the savior of our lives. We should take pride in only one thing, that transcends skin color, sexual preference, looks, and the all of that--and it's that we are human beings, all of us, each and every one; and the [i]diversities[/i] inherent in our species is a direct function of what we are.

For the record, methylphenidate is better.

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

It's not the pride of what I am, it's the pride of who I am. For someone to insult me, my people, my girlfriend, and everything else about me is one thing. For them to tell my girlfriend to break up with me is another. For them to challenge my manhood and honor, that is another.

All those together, regardless of what kindness I should show, will get you into deep trouble with me. I've been through enough in my life, and the last thing I need is some punks who don't know me judging me based on the color of my skin when they don't even know who I am or what I've gone through.

That's not just an insult of my skin, but an insult of my entire being and who I am as a person. That's clear dishonor, and while I may seem like an old fashioned moron, I can't let that go. I don't plan on getting nto a fight, and I know violence won't solve anything, especially when I know who this individual happens to befriend. However, if he takes his apparent attack on me any further, I'm going to be forced to handle it myself.[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Yeah yeah blah blah blah. That's a cop out. I don't care what the **** people say of you, I know who you are. So there you go. There's some strength right there. Why would you give a **** what anyone says to you? They're all just casting their own unhappiness with their lives into the happiness of yours. So **** them. Let them be how they are. You are what you are, and by hating those who do not see what you are, but only distortedly, you are only distorting things all the worse.

Trust me, I know where you're coming from. My whole family recently turned on me just for being who I was. I was bullied, beaten by my own father, teased, on and on. You don't have it any worse than any one else. Life is not easy for anyone. So fess up to the facts, let go of your little ego, and don't worry about what these other people say to you. That's their problem, not yours; and you can tell them kindly your position and that they are wrong, but acting out and hurting another over their own ignorance is an entirely different act. That is the problem with this world. No one considers nor implicates all perspectives nor realizes not all people are at the same level of understanding; if we merely sought understanding as our violence and not bloodshed then perhaps things would change. All you're doing is, by the karma you are displacing, asking for your relationship to not work out in the end. You are refracting others' hate and letting it distort your purity. If you want to do that that's your deal, but you know what I said and eventually you'll come back to what I've said and truly know it rather than merely try to defend your egocentric position. Good day.

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

I don't care about what he says about me. I care about what he tries to do to me. Some of the actions this individual has taken go beyond what is acceptable. I can put up with his words all day long and I don't really care, because I know until he faces me like a man, that he isn't one in my eyes.

However, when he takes action behind my back to try to set up guys with my girlfriend, or tries to convince her to break up with me, that's another thing entirely. While she is good to me, and she wouldn't think of betraying me, the fact of the matter is, this guy needs to cut that stuff out. It's inappropriate and more than that, it's cowardly.

I'm all about peace, love, and forgiveness. I'm a Buddhist, after all. But also, I have my own code of honor that I have to uphold and while I don't plan on attacking this guy, I definetly do plan on finishing any fight he starts with me.[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

Call your local authorities. Speak with your parents. Entreat others whom love you or the law to be your fight. It is not worth it.

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1]

Sorry, but I'm far too prideful to not handle my own problems. My ego may be a bad thing in your eyes, but to me, it's all that I truly have. My honor and my pride. Unfortunately for this individual, I'm a fighter. However no one's going to die, and hopefully, no one will be getting hurt. I don't want this to turn into a physical conflict, but if it doesn, I have no problem with settling it.

But this is getting off topic. There are other people other than him who show this kind of behaviour, however less intense or personal it may be.[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

This isn't getting off topic. . .this specific instance and person is a reflection of all other ways you would handle in other moments like this. Well, I've said what I've said and I am not going to repeat myself. You don't think it will go violently, but trust me, with that kind of placement of your ego, [i]it will[/i].

[Zen]

[color=darkred][size=1] Well then call me ignorant and arrogant. I just don't care. My honor and pride mean everything to me, and regardless of the morality of the subject, it's what I've chosen to hold as my driving forces. It has served me well thus far. If there is anything worht fighting for, it's my honor and the honor of my loved ones.

Hopefully that can be respected, if not agreed upon.[/color][/size]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='The Boss'][color=darkred][size=1]Sorry, but I'm far too prideful to not handle my own problems. My ego may be a bad thing in your eyes, but to me, it's all that I truly have. My honor and my pride. Unfortunately for this individual, I'm a fighter. However no one's going to die, and hopefully, no one will be getting hurt. I don't want this to turn into a physical conflict, but if it doesn, I have no problem with settling it..[/color][/size][/QUOTE]To be blunt, it sounds like you're every bit as pig headed and stubborn about how they have hurt your honor and pride as they are about disapproving in who you date due to what race they are.

If you really say you are going to 'settle' it if they start it. That's no better than them refusing to let go of the racial hatred towards you or your girlfriend.

Remember... Pride goes before the fall. And right now it looks like your fall is going to be pretty damn painful.

So just as they need to grow up as Retri put it. You my friend need to let go of that pride and get help from authorities if need be. Vigilante justice never works. [/COLOR]

[Zen]

[quote name='indifference'][COLOR="Indigo"]To be blunt, it sounds like you're every bit as pig headed and stubborn about how they have hurt your honor and pride as they are about disapproving in who you date due to what race they are.

If you really say you are going to 'settle' it if they start it. That's no better than them refusing to let go of the racial hatred towards you or your girlfriend.

Remember... Pride goes before the fall. And right now it looks like your fall is going to be pretty damn painful.

So just as they need to grow up as Retri put it. You my friend need to let go of that pride and get help from authorities if need be. Vigilante justice never works. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=darkred][size=1]

Sorry if I come off as pigheaded for wanting to defend my character and honor. It's not vigilante justice to defend yourself last time I checked, and that's all I ever intend to do. I'm not going to start a fight, because I promised myself I never would., and as a man, I will follow that.

I am not insulted by his words, but by his actions. All I said is that if his actions go further than cowardly piddeling, then I may have to confront him, not necessarily fight. [b]If[/b] it does turn into a fight, I will not be the one to start it. Forgive me if I seem a bit stubborn, but I have to keep my principles. I refuse to be the victim of a coward.

Pigheaded I may be, but atleast I am not discrimatory or prejuidice. I do not like being compared to an individual who will judge me on such concepts. I may have a very old fashioned demeanor about myself, but if there is one thing I have inherited from my upbringing, it's to resolve conflict like a man, and not like a coward.

I'd like to sooner resolve things through words, like a man, than let things continue go on. I've been told, however, that if I were to try, he would more than likely not agree to let words speak. If that is the situation, then I'm going to have to defend myself, and I don't plan on losing.[/color][/size]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='The Boss'][color=darkred][size=1]I am not insulted by his words,[B] but by his actions[/B]. All I said is that if his actions go further than cowardly piddeling, then I may have to confront him, not necessarily fight. [b]If[/b] it does turn into a fight, I will not be the one to start it. Forgive me if I seem a bit stubborn, but I have to keep my principles. I refuse to be the victim of a coward.[/color][/size][/QUOTE]So just what actions are we talking about here? So far you've mostly talked about insults and in my opinion those are not worth being this upset over. Those words are coming from an idiot who is too blind to see that there is nothing wrong with your relationship.

But honestly, you're coming across as pig headed and stubborn since you've yet to list anything besides insults. And refusing to respond to verbal insults does not make one a victim. I'm trying to understand why you are so angry, or feel that your honor or pride has been hurt, but I just don't see it. [/COLOR]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

No, I do not respect your blatant egocentricism, and your pride, and it is not to be agreed upon.

[Zen]

[quote name='indifference'][COLOR="Indigo"]So just what actions are we talking about here? So far you've mostly talked about insults and in my opinion those are not worth being this upset over. Those words are coming from an idiot who is too blind to see that there is nothing wrong with your relationship.

But honestly, you're coming across as pig headed and stubborn since you've yet to list anything besides insults. And refusing to respond to verbal insults does not make one a victim. I'm trying to understand why you are so angry, or feel that your honor or pride has been hurt, but I just don't see it. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=darkred][size=1]

[b]1.[/b] Gave her phone number to one of his friends without her permission and told him that she was single, attempting to get him to try and hook up with her.

[b]2.[/b] Constantly tries to convince her to break up with me.

[b]3.[/b] Had attempted to (and failed to) intimidate me in person, and has threatened to attack me behind my back.

It is too bad I do not have respect for my principles. All I ask for is respect which should be given to a person until given a reason otherwise not to. That's what pride is, and that's all I have to ask for. Forgive me for having self respect and honor.[/color][/size]

[Guest Copycatalyst]

I'm sorry, but you're not the only black man on the Earth. Did you know that white people have this thing called affirmative action which goes in your favor, against their favor? Did you know that your pride means nothing when it's an egocentric, pigheaded fashioning of your own ignorance? So some guy is calling you names. Oh poor little thing. So that means you have the right to let him keep doing what he does and to in the end, be violent alongside him? You're no Buddhist to me. You're just a rogue who won't let go of fickle values. I realize you're black. I respect it. I don't respect your own self-righteousness and your own blatant disregard for accepting your life as it is, and not on your own ****ing terms. You can come to have life on your terms in time; it doesn't just happen. Oh no you have to deal with a little bit of mistreatment. . .So does everyone. What do you want? A prize for all your little egocentric pride and your little self-valuation and egocentricism? The prize you will get is the one that will happen due to how you handle situations; and it is a violent one, and it is a punishing one, until you learn the lesson I have been trying to explicate into your little plastic head. Violence is never the solution, and you are not a coward to ignore/ not approach/ not let said person start a fight with you. In fact you are much more prideful if you do such, because you realize the only pride you need have is that of being a human being. So I'm done with you. Go and do your little violent act or do your little pride; in the end your little ****ing ego is going to be broken say like a twig is broken in a beaver's mouth. So go have that and shut the **** up.

[Horendithas]

[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='The Boss'][color=darkred][size=1] Forgive me for having self respect and honor.[/color][/size][/QUOTE]You missed the point. Forgive me for actually wanting to understand why you were so upset. Since like I said before, you had not clarified that it was going beyond mere insults. :animesigh [/COLOR]

[Zen]

[quote name='indifference'][COLOR="Indigo"]You missed the point. Forgive me for actually wanting to understand why you were so upset. Since like I said before, you had not clarified that it was going beyond mere insults. :animesigh [/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[color=darkred][size=1]
That was not directed at you, forgive me for not clarifying. I did give you three of the reasons though, I understand what you were saying.

As for Copycatalyst, he seems to have completely misunderstood several key points, particularly that of which I am not black, and my girlfriend is. I personally find this hilarious, seeing as how I made this clear in my first post.[/color][/size]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='The Boss'][color=darkred][size=1]
That was not directed at you, forgive me for not clarifying. I did give you three of the reasons though, I understand what you were saying.[/color][/size][/QUOTE]Fair enough. ;) And I have to agree, those actions are pretty stupid and go beyond simple insults.

Also, this is directed at you Copycatalyst, lets not degrade into personal insults. I've removed your last post for that reason. Even with the swear filter there's no need to tell people off. So lets quit using personal attacks please.[/COLOR]