The Last Resort Friend

[Starfire0567]

Does anyone have that one friend that treats them like the last option? I have a friend like that and I'm truly getting fed up with it. She had the nerve to say it was all in my head! Because,yes I imagine stuff like this all the time! :animesigh

Does anyone have a friend like that or are YOU that friend?

[Boo]

[size=1]Ehm... No... If they'd treat me like a last resort, I wouldn't be their friend, now would I?[/size]

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Well, where I live people like that are called 'back-up friends' and are usually just aquantinces. So don't think anything special of it. Good friends bail you out of jail, better friends are in that cell with you, I always say. And back-up friends are usually sitting at home eating oreos and watching Naruto, because no one asked them for help.

Don't be a back-up freind, it's not worth it.[/COLOR]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='Boo'][size=1]Ehm... No... If they'd treat me like a last resort, I wouldn't be their friend, now would I?[/size][/QUOTE]Same here, those few who slip into that mode of you're the last resort end up off my friends list at that point. So I really don't have friends like this, or rather once they start behaving like that, the friendship pretty much ends at that point.

[Starfire0567]

I know I should end the friendship. And you know what's funny? She started dating the girl I don't like and who makes me feel like a third wheel. As if that's going to make me jealous or something. To be honest she can have her.

[eleanor]

[font="trebuchet ms"] I've never really used anyone as a 'back-up' friend, but I've been used as one. I'm not annoyed by it at all, though, but I'm not really a friend, just an acquaintance. I knew that, so I didn't mind comforting her.

So, unless you know you're just an acquaintance, don't keep on thinking you're an actual friend.[/font]

[Starfire0567]

[quote name='Lunox'][font="trebuchet ms"] I've never really used anyone as a 'back-up' friend, but I've been used as one. I'm not annoyed by it at all, though, but I'm not really a friend, just an acquaintance. I knew that, so I didn't mind comforting her.

So, unless you know you're just an acquaintance, don't keep on thinking you're an actual friend.[/font][/QUOTE]

Yeah but here's the thing...I'm SUPPOSED to be her friend. She,I and two other people are supposed to be like family.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]I've got plenty of those last resort friends, but as Lunox already stated, they're really more of an acquaintance than a close friend so it doesn't really bother me that I rarely hear from them. I already know that they don't think about me very often.

There are people I treat the same way, I rarely call them because they are just an acquaintance. It has nothing to do with putting them on the back burner or ignoring them. If they thought otherwise then they falsely assumed that we were close friends when we never were. I have had a few like that and it's annoying when it's someone you don't want to be close friends with and yet they keep trying to be in your life when you don't want them there. At that point I no longer even want to talk to them. [quote name='Starfire0567']Yeah but here's the thing...I'm SUPPOSED to be her friend. She,I and two other people are supposed to be like family.[/QUOTE]Why? Times change and that often includes friends. It's not at all unusual to move out of that friends stage and into simply knowing who the person is. I have lots of people that over the years we've drifted apart and are no longer close friends.

And if you're suppose to be like family... then I'd say it's time to move on and adopt new siblings. Besides, even family is not immune to being put in that last resort state. I've got siblings and relatives who are the [I]last[/I] person I'd ever want to hear from. XP

Anyway, unless I'm misunderstanding you, it sounds like it's time for you to go and make new friends instead of clinging to old ones who seem to no longer be interested in you.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Sorry to hear that Sammy.

I have that experiance with a girl I've been friends with for nearly thirteen years. We were really close until I came back from Texas and then all this stuff (IE Kids, massive life changes and her moving across town with her new boyfriend) happened. Now I'm lucky if I hear from her more than once a month.

I swear either that girl has short term memory loss or an iron deficiency because she's forever getting worn out. And she takes forever to return phone calls.

I only have two friends in my hometown, everyone else I'm friends with is out of town, out of state or out of the country. So it bugs me and the one time I did confront her about it she got mad.

But I guess I shouldn't feel that bad since she does the same thing to the other girl who lives here who we're friends with. But it does get to you when you've been friends with someone nearly half your life and they treat you like a nuiscence.[/color][/font]

[The13thMan]

[quote name='Revolver'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Well, where I live people like that are called 'back-up friends' and are usually just aquantinces. So don't think anything special of it. Good friends bail you out of jail, better friends are in that cell with you, I always say. And back-up friends are usually sitting at home eating oreos and watching Naruto, because no one asked them for help.

Don't be a back-up freind, it's not worth it.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][FONT=Century Gothic]Haha, because it's much better to be in jail with a friend than at home watching Naruto with oreos.

Personally, i'll take the oreos. =P

Starfire, can ya give us some specific examples of what your friend has done so that we can know it's not all in your head? Cuz... in my opinion at this point it is. Please don't take any offense to that. =D

I personally really dislike it when people are so fixed on the labels of relationships. So your friends? Does that mean she's required to spend a certain amount of time with her? No, of course not. Labels are too general and people, once labels are attached, seem to change relationships and put extra expectancies into them which often hurts the relationship. Just take it for what it is and enjoy the time you do spend with her!

Of course, i know it's not always that simple. My advice is that if you can't get over it then talk to her about it. Don't just mention it, don't be polite. Tell her exactly how you feel, cite examples that made you feel that way. Convince her that it bothers you. If she's a true friend she'll understand and try to make things better. If she continues to ignore your pleas... then let it go. I'm not saying don't spend time with her at that point, but you don't owe her the politeness of feeling obligated to spending time with her if she asks after ignoring your feelings. And, in all honesty, if she does ignore your feelings that might be enough to warrant you ignoring her all together. Use your best judgment.

Anyways, i always say let bygones be bygones.
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