I just wanna know

[skullinton]

well this *was* the situation i was freinds with this girl for months we were really good freinds.then one day after school she told me she liked me and i said that i liked her too.So then i finished walking her home we stayed talkin along the way.so i decided to ask her out the next day,she said that she would go out with me and she seemed so happy.:animesmil

Then two weeks later she broke up with me saying that i wasnt her type from the very beggining. Im still freinds with her but im also still confused. I dont want to ask her because i dont want toseem petiful:animecry:

So what i want to know is what do girls actually want in a guy??:animeknow

[Andy]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]Woah, slow down there, dude. Why don't you read the Otakuboards Rules and learn how to post a thread first, [I]then[/I] we can figure out how to get teh girl's. ^_^[/SIZE][/FONT]

[Retribution]

[quote name='Andy'][FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]Woah, slow down there, dude. Why don't you read the Otakuboards Rules and learn how to post a thread first, [I]then[/I] we can figure out how to get teh girl's. ^_^[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]
[font=Arial]Why don't you stop playing mod first, hm?

skullinton, it'd be helpful if you gave us some information about yourself, perhaps the girl you have your sights on. Without any of this, we can't give you any useful advice.[/font]

[Konata]

Girls aren't all the same ='( They all have different interests and preferences. Some girls like young guys, some girls like older guys, some girls like little boys, and some girls like old (in their 60s) men =P Likewise, some girls like their guys to be hot, others cute, or sometimes it doesn't matter.

I'd have to agree with Retribution though. Could you elaborate and tell us the details of who you're looking for, and describe yourself. That way, we'll be able to tell you more.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][quote name='Andy;798228][FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"]Woah, slow down there, dude. Why don't you read the Otakuboards Rules and learn how to post a thread first, [I]then[/I] we can figure out how to get teh girl's. ^_^[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]Retribution covered this already, but I'm also going to remind you that using the report bad post button in the top right hand corner of the post in question is the best route to take in situations like this. And once you've done that, just leave it alone and give us time to get to it. Thanks. ^_~[quote name='skullinton'']What do girls really want in a guy??Cause sometimes you seem so d**n confused:animeknow[/quote]Now as the others have said skullinton, without some form of input as to why you are asking the question we can't help you at all really. Because at this point you're the one being confusing. Are we talking about a particular girl who confuses you? Or are you talking about something more general that you've noticed? You need to explain why you think girls are confused.

Also, next time put more thought into your thread when starting it. I'll leave it open to give you a chance to explain what you wish to find out, but seriously, further threads without any direction to them will just be closed.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[pooperson]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]I'm not here to criticize. I just want to answer the question!

I want a guy who will give compliments but be honest yet sensitive.
He has to accept me AND my friends because they're obviously very important to me.
And he has to accept my religious beliefs. God > him.
That's honestly just about it. He has to make me smile. :]



(Listen to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls! That helps a bit!)[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Meh, not to flog a dead horse, but you need to give us a bit more info on your current situation before we can offer you any meaningful advice skullinton. That said, Konata's point stands, all women are different, so different ones want different things.[/SIZE]

[quote name='taperson'][SIZE="1"][COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"](Listen to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls! That helps a bit!)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]Dear. God. No. Really bad pop songs by really bad girl bands will not help anyone. Sorry taperson, but I really despise that song with a passion. :animeswea[/SIZE]

[AzureWolf]

[quote name='Gavin'][SIZE="1"]Dear. God. No. Really bad pop songs by really bad girl bands will not help anyone. Sorry taperson, but I really despise that song with a passion. :animeswea[/SIZE][/QUOTE]But Gavin, haven't you ever wondered why, this music gets you high, it takes you on a ride? XD

Anyway, although the way to every girl's heart is different, you should also know a few things:
[LIST]
[*]You have to actually talk to the girl, not admire her from afar.
[*]Learn from her past relationships, if she has any. Know why some girls keep going back to that jerk who beats her or treats her like trash? It is because she feels she deserves it, she has insecurities.
[*]There are two ways to approach girls: molding to that kind of guy, even if it means showering her with insults; or finding a girl that complements you. The former gets you a lot of action, while the latter is a little more frustrating but less controversial.
[*]Know what you are looking for in a partner, and know that fixation, no matter how much you justify it, is not a good thing.
[*]Learn from your past relationships. Do you like what you have been doing? Are the girls you have been with really your type?
[*]Approach opportunities and encounters as practice, not the final exam, so to speak. That is, don't be afraid of failure. Not every girl will accept you, especially not your first crush.
[*]Stay the hell away from her friends prior to being officially in a relationship with her. Even afterwards, keep it superficial and light. Making a good impression is all that you need to do with them. Don't make friends with her friends.
[*]While honesty is the best policy in a long-term relationship, a few white lies in the beginning to get a date with her is ok. She will forgive you if she digs you and had a chance to know how awesome you are.
[/LIST]

[skullinton]

well i put more inf0o in this thread just read the first post.

[pooperson]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]Hey, Gavin -- suck it! I like the Spice Girls!

It seems like maybe she wanted to date you just to have a boyfriend. Some girls do that. They're so silly. Anyway, I already told you what I want. One more thing though - you can't be too sensitive. That stuff gets really old really fast. I would want a guy who would at least defend himself or speak his own thoughts. Hmm.



"If you want my future forget my past
If you wanna get with me better make it fast
Now don't go wasting my precious time
Get your act together, we could be just fine
...
If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends
[Gotta get with my friends]
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover you have got to give
Taking is too easy but that's the way it is"

I'm telling you... Spice Girls![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Roxie Faye]

[quote name='AzureWolf'][LIST][*]While honesty is the best policy in a long-term relationship, a few white lies in the beginning to get a date with her is ok. She will forgive you if she digs you and had a chance to know how awesome you are.
[/LIST][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff]While the rest of your suggestions are very pertinent and [b]wise[/b], I'm just going to add a little extra caution with this one. Before you tell any white lies, you better be decently sure the girl is going to like you. Last (and only) guy I went out with made lies about things he liked, so they'd match whatever I liked. He said he'd seen XYZ movie when he never had. And it was just another strike against him when I broke up with him and realized he was an a**.

I mean, if you're going to lie, use some common sense. For God's sake, if she tells you her favorite movie is some sappy chick flick, do [i]not[/i] say [i]"That's my favorite, too!"[/i] unless it actually is. [/color]

[Venge]

I'm in somewhat of a similar situation you're in, but me and the girl I'm friends with aren't dating yet. But I'll give you my take on it.

She said she liked you? That was probably because you were her friend. She likes guys like you. BUT, the way you treat a girl friend and the way you treat a girlfriend are actually vastly different, depending on who you are. You may have seemed a bit jealous or touchy with her when you didn't when you were friends. Look at how you acted before and during your dating time. Find out what went wrong and try to fix it. Ask her if there may be another chance down the road. If she says yes but not now, then stay with it. Continue to be her friend. And when you feel confident enough that she feels strongly for you again (give it 2 months at the least), talk to her about it. Do not, and I repeat [B]DO NOT[/B] ask if you two can start dating again. Just ask how she feels and take it from there.

If you really like her and care for her, be there for her no matter what. If things start to go sour in your friendship, talk about whats wrong and try to fix it. Thats the best you can do. And trust me friend, if you're still in school, relationships are HARD to keep. You will have to have a [B]LOT[/B] of trust in her and give her a lot of reasons to trust you. Been there and had the girl cheat on me with my best friend. We're still friends, but its the fact of what she did. If she trusts you with her heart, she won't do anything behind your back unless she either doesn't like you anymore, feels attracted to the other person, or just did it for no reason at all.


Good luck! And God speed!

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='AzureWolf'][LIST][*]While honesty is the best policy in a long-term relationship, a few white lies in the beginning to get a date with her is ok. She will forgive you if she digs you and had a chance to know how awesome you are.
[/LIST][/QUOTE]Actually, that in my opinion is one of the stupidest things you can do. Because if the relationship goes anywhere at all, those little white lies have a way of coming up and ruining what could have been a good thing. I've seen my friends get nailed by that mistake plenty of times. If you have to lie to get that first date then you're in sad shape really. That and I think it's unacceptable to lie to a girl that you like or are interested in. And in poor taste as well because if you really are awesome, no lying is needed for her to see that.

Anyway, it wouldn't hurt to ask and see if she'll tell you why you weren't her type and even if your not don't take it to hard. It's not uncommon to go out with someone who your pretty sure isn't your type and yet you tried it anyway to see if you would like one another. That's just the way dating goes. I've had plenty of girls I asked out and in the end we had nothing in common. Sometimes she ended it, sometimes I did.

Anyway, being a guy myself, I can't tell you what girls want, but since it varies depending on the girl there wouldn't be any point really. Just be yourself and above all else be as honest as possible so you don't end up in a relationship that is nothing more than a lie.

[AzureWolf]

Most experts (and women) would disagree with you, Rachmaninoff. I know it's counterintuitive, and I didn't think it made sense, and good lord I wish I could find that 2007 British survey they did, but something like 77% of women surveyed said they would forgive a guy for a few white lies early in the relationship if she ended up liking him, and something like a whopping 98% of at least one person in a successful relationship (i.e., one that ended in marriage) admitted to lying early on. They said the person they fell in love with wasn't the person they discovered when the lies were gone, but they were able to overlook that.

Unfortunately, all I could find was a 2002 Guardian newspaper (research articles need tags! they need to be 2.0ed!): [url]http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,746525,00.html[/url] [QUOTE]'Meeting someone on the internet is less about how someone looks. It's about how he makes you feel. Because men have the anonymity and are less likely to feel shy, they are more keen to open up and show their vulnerabilities. When you meet someone there is already that connection there. And men are less likely to objectify women: "OK, so she may be 5lbs heavier than she said on her email but this woman was there for me last week when I was going through a hard time at work."'
Dr Jeff Gavin, who has carried out research on online dating at Bath University, agrees. While internet profiles still adhere to media stereotypes - we're all more likely to add a few inches, take off a few pounds - when we actually meet up, if there's a bond there already, we're likely to overlook any white lies, he says.[/QUOTE]

[Odin M Yggdrasi]

To answer your question simply: Nobody knows, even many of the girls who are presently looking for a guy don't know what they will like or not like because they haven't experienced different guys yet.

Many guys are like that too- they don't know what they want in a girl because they haven't been with enough girls to know their tastes.

[quote name='AzureWolf']
Anyway, although the way to every girl's heart is different, you should also know a few things:
[LIST]
[*]You have to actually talk to the girl, not admire her from afar.
[*]Learn from her past relationships, if she has any. Know why some girls keep going back to that jerk who beats her or treats her like trash? It is because she feels she deserves it, she has insecurities.
[*]There are two ways to approach girls: molding to that kind of guy, even if it means showering her with insults; or finding a girl that complements you. The former gets you a lot of action, while the latter is a little more frustrating but less controversial.
[*]Know what you are looking for in a partner, and know that fixation, no matter how much you justify it, is not a good thing.
[*]Learn from your past relationships. Do you like what you have been doing? Are the girls you have been with really your type?
[*]Approach opportunities and encounters as practice, not the final exam, so to speak. That is, don't be afraid of failure. Not every girl will accept you, especially not your first crush.
[*]Stay the hell away from her friends prior to being officially in a relationship with her. Even afterwards, keep it superficial and light. Making a good impression is all that you need to do with them. Don't make friends with her friends.
[*]While honesty is the best policy in a long-term relationship, a few white lies in the beginning to get a date with her is ok. She will forgive you if she digs you and had a chance to know how awesome you are.
[/LIST][/QUOTE]

I agree with all but your last point, if she likes you and you truely care about her she deserves the truth, and in my experience any lies only cause more pain than they prevented in the first place.

Also, your tactics really depend on how you are, and what you are looking for.

Myself, I am a rather nerdy guy who apparently is quite the romantic and lives by a chivalry to rival a medieval knight. The girl I am dating absolutely loves that kind of deal, herself being a warm and caring person who wants someone who will protect her but also love and care about her. Companionship is very high between us in addition to love, even though we are almost perfect opposites, we do very well together and understand each other.

That same mix might not work for another pair, their preferences might be very different, and being opposite like that would result in them fighting untill they broke up.

And yes, for many people conversing online is easier than conversing in person, not only is it easier to open up to someone because of less risk of embarrasment- but if you do start getting relations with someone you will get to know their mind before you have the influence of their body on your relationship.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][quote name='AzureWolf']Most experts (and women) would disagree with you, Rachmaninoff. I know it's counterintuitive, and I didn't think it made sense, and good lord I wish I could find that 2007 British survey they did, but something like 77% of women surveyed said they would forgive a guy for a few white lies early in the relationship if she ended up liking him, and something like a whopping 98% of at least one person in a successful relationship (i.e., one that ended in marriage) admitted to lying early on. They said the person they fell in love with wasn't the person they discovered when the lies were gone, but they were able to overlook that.[/QUOTE]As a woman, I would have to say it would depend on the white lie really. Being off on weight or height, especially when it's not that much of a difference doesn't really matter. But if those white lies run into stuff that is a little more serious then honestly, it's a huge turn off. It would have to really be totally minor stuff for me to overlook it. Otherwise, that sort of nonsense can and has ended relationships for me in the past.

I'm not saying I expect them to be a saint, but still, I prefer it if a guy is more honest about who he is as well as about his past. Believe me, over the years I've heard some pretty pathetic lies from guys. XP I have to wonder what's going on in their minds when they say some of the things they do. Of course I've known some women who were equally as stupid about saying things that were total lies and then they wondered why their boyfriend broke up with them.

As for the topic, for myself, I like a guy to have at least some of the same tastes in music, movies or other things that I do. Enough that we have something in common. Oh and it's a given that it can't bother him that I'm pretty independent and use to making my own decisions. I like sharing the responsibility of deciding what we are going to do and so forth when it comes to activities or anything else for that matter. I'm definitely not the type to sit back and let someone else be totally in charge. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Darren]

[quote name='Konata']Girls aren't all the same ='( They all have different interests and preferences. Some girls like young guys, some girls like older guys, some girls like little boys, and some girls like old (in their 60s) men =P Likewise, some girls like their guys to be hot, others cute, or sometimes it doesn't matter.

I'd have to agree with Retribution though. Could you elaborate and tell us the details of who you're looking for, and describe yourself. That way, we'll be able to tell you more.[/QUOTE]

Or some girls don't know what they want in a guy... Based on your age, (and pure logic would set her at or around that same age) I would say that the initial attraction was purely physical. (or maybe not... I don't really have enough information to go on here. So I don't mean to make assumptions and call her shallow or you ugly) But high school relationships usually don't amount to much. The whole point of being a teenager is to figure out what you like. She may have dumped you because she was scared of you two getting close, and then hurting you some day, thus ruining your friendship. AKA: The Friend Zone (Jeez. I've been put there more than enough times) She also could have dumped you because she saw a cuter guy who she wanted more.

The way I see it, don't worry about it. I've heard so many break-up and get-together stories that I don't even bother to remember who's a couple anymore except for my close friends. (So I won't hit on their girlfriends) But truth be told, if she were so easily swayed after "dating" for a week or so, then give it a couple more weeks... She might be into you again by then. And remember, of all the high school romances, probably only about 5% actually make it after school. And even then, with divorce rates going up, that number is probably vastly outdated.

But best of luck to you!

EDIT: Woops! I didn't mean to imply that you wanted anything long term out of the relationship, (because I know a lot of people who don't) but if that's the case, then there's really no reason to be heart-broken over.

[Odin M Yggdrasi]

Yes, High School is very much meant for just that- making and breaking relations, feeling out your preferences and what you look for. It's not the end of the world if you get rejected, and in many cases it means that whoever you were with decided there was something about you that they didn't like. Just don't lose hope, that trait that you got rejected for may be your deciding point to someone else.

The fact is love on the first try, while it does still happen, is extremely rare. Most people will go through several relationships before finally learning their preferences enough to be able to choose someone to settle down with, and even at that they can be wrong as shown by the high divorce rate.

College things get a bit warmer, because the people there are older and most of them have learned their preferences while in high school, hookups in college are far more likely to survive because of the environment they form in, and also because the people involved are older and more experienced.

Then every once and a while you get people who do it all wrong, who everyone would say will die single, and all of a sudden they are a couple with someone else who is just as much misfit, and end up staying together.

Just while we are along these lines of conversation, what are your opinions on rejection?

Personally, I feel that it is best to drop them fast and cold, if they hit the ground hard enough they will bounce right back up into someone else's arms and would be better off like that that if let down slowly. Trying to let them go gently you run a much higher risk of accidentally misleading them to think they have a chance, and when they finally do realize what you were doing they had gotten some feelings for you and it hits like a brick wall, from which it takes longer to recover from based on observations.

[Retribution]

[font=Arial]On white lies:

I would say they're extremely beneficial, especially in the early stages of any social relationship. In the beginning, both people are trying to get a feel for the other person, acquire first impressions, and form a base of opinion on the person. This is not the time for brutal honesty. At this point, the truth might come off as rude and hurtful. The following are examples:

- No, your cooking isn't that great.
- I totally disagree with your political opinion.
- I cannot relate with you on this. At all.

Once there is a firm relationship between the two, the truth-telling can begin. At this point, both people have formed more or less static opinions of the other, and blunt truth can be digested more easily. I'm sure everyone would feel more comfortable with their best friend telling them their outfit is hideous than a new acquaintance. There's just more history there.

If white lies heavily distort the picture of the speaker, they are definitely bad. They deceive, and if these deceptions are uncovered in the future, the relationship probably can't even be salvaged. An example of this would be telling a 'friend' you love death metal, and once you two have based your friendship off this fact, breaking the news that you really can't stand it and prefer R&B. A white lie, certainly, but it ruined everything.[/font]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='AzureWolf']Most experts (and women) would disagree with you, Rachmaninoff. I know it's counterintuitive, and I didn't think it made sense, and good lord I wish I could find that 2007 British survey they did, but something like 77% of women surveyed said they would forgive a guy for a few white lies early in the relationship if she ended up liking him, and something like a whopping 98% of at least one person in a successful relationship (i.e., one that ended in marriage) admitted to lying early on. They said the person they fell in love with wasn't the person they discovered when the lies were gone, but they were able to overlook that.
[/QUOTE]Sorry if I wasn't clear enough, but I was referring to the type like Retribution is talking about, the kind where your entire relationship is a lie, not the more trivial ones of not being blunt over someone's cooking, clothing or other things since those don't require brutal honesty. There's a difference between being polite and outright misrepresenting yourself on a deeper level. And that's what I was getting at.

The music is a good example really, I'm not about to claim I love certain heavy metal groups or rock music when I clearly do not. It has resulted in a girl thinking I was 'boring' since I'm heavily into classical type music, but at the same time I found her taste in music equally as boring so cute or not, I'd rather not be dating in that instance. XP

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]The problem with white lies is compounded by the fact that everyone has a different opinion on what constitutes a white lie.

For example, Retribution thinks that lying about your political party affiliation is a white lie. But for me, it's a really big, gigantic lie. (if you tell me you're a liberal, and you really like Bush, that's it for you. Way to earn my ire by lying.)

So the whole "white lie" business is in a matter of opinion, and when you're dating, it's not like you know the other party's opinion of it.[/color]