When To Be Offended

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Now normally I like to pride myself on not being easily offended by every little thing that rolls along. A KKK march, an abortion clinic bombing...but sometimes something happens that makes me want to start killing. Here's the scenario:

An ex boyfriend of three years calls me at 12 a.m. after a very long [three year] silence and asks me if I have any STDs. And all over the fact that his new and supposedly virgin girlfriend has a latex allergy. But seriously, he asked me a whole bunch of questions about my promiscuity and then said that it was 'a matter of probabilities' that made him call me first. Keeping in mind that he's got several other ex girlfriends that appeared in that three year gap.

Now then. Several problems appear with this. At first I was totally offended and confused. If it's been three years since we were together, anything I'd potentially given him would've manifested already. And doubtless in exciting and fun ways and on multiple women. But as it goes, I am totally clean and always have been and I always test before and after flinging with someone. That and I would've [b]had[/b] to call him to tell him I have HPV or Syphilis or whatever. He waxed indignant when I confronted him on this and said that I was 'proud of the fact' that I'd slept around and should 'take the consequences.'

But somehow I'm not consoled and in between calling him 'Pants on Head Retarded' and 'a Blathering Nitwit' I began to wonder. Do I beat him to death with a large frozen tuna or a raw, ripe, juicy steak?[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Malkav]

Give him a fair shot. Sword fight him with a barracuda

[Aberinkula]

[quote name='Malkav']Give him a fair shot. Sword fight him with a barracuda[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="77656"]Ooooooooooooo barracuda!

Ahem, yeah I'd pummel him if I were you, not the most humane choice, but for this case it's probably best.[/COLOR]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='Neuvoxraiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]An ex boyfriend of three years calls me at 12 a.m. after a very long [three year] silence and asks me if I have any STDs. And all over the fact that his new and supposedly virgin girlfriend has a latex allergy. But seriously, he asked me a whole bunch of questions about my promiscuity and then said that it was 'a matter of probabilities' that made him call me first. Keeping in mind that he's got several other ex girlfriends that appeared in that three year gap.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]Considering that it's been so long and he's had other girlfriends since then, it begs the question of whether or not he's got something and is merely looking for a scapegoat to pin it on should the girl end up getting something from him. It's not that hard to simply go and get tested himself to make sure he's clean, so he didn't even need to call you or any other previous girlfriend for that matter. The whole thing sounds like a bunch of BS really. In which case... go with the large frozen tuna option.

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]The Tuna, definitely the Tuna. What an ***. >_<; [/color]

[eleanor]

[font="trebuchet ms"] I guess, pull a Dahl, hit him with the frozen tuna, cook it, and invite the police officers who come to investigate to eat it for dinner. [/font]

[AzureWolf]

[quote name='Lunox'][font="trebuchet ms"] I guess, pull a Dahl, hit him with the frozen tuna, cook it, and invite the police officers who come to investigate to eat it for dinner. [/font][/QUOTE]O_O That's... twistedly crazy. And a good idea.

How did he sound on the phone, though? Was he accusatory or did it sound more like he was trying to figure out where he got his burning itch from? Like, maybe he's just calling EVERYONE he's slept with to find out why he has an STD now. O_o

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]Your ex was being a jack*** and you have every right to be offended.

A few years back I had an ex pull a similar stunt. She called enraged about a year after we dated, screaming accusations that I gave her a STD. Fortunately, I am smart enough to get myself tested between partners so I knew that not only had I not given her a STD she hadn?t passed one my way either.

I was so angry when she pointed her finger my way that, instead of being polite and consoling, I called her a stupid whore (this is actually a very polite and watered down version of what I said) and told her not to call me again. So, I didn?t really handle the situation any better than she did.

Still, blaming a partner for passing along an STD is pretty ridiculous. It takes two people to have unprotected sex, so both people are to blame. Your ex should have simply called you and said, ?hey, you should probably go to a clinic and get yourself checked out for STDs?. [/color]

[Sojiro47]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"]I choose.....The juicy Steak. That way his cloths have the chance of being stained. Plus, no one else choose that yet.

I think that you have every right and reason to be offended. If it had been me in your shoes, I'd probably responded similarly to Heaven's Cloud. Actually, I never would have answered the phone. Not after three years. I don't think he's very bright if he called you first because, as you said, it would have already showed up by now.

This totally goes on the list of reasons to stay abstinent :animesigh [/FONT]

[2010DigitalBoy]

[quote name='Neuvoxraiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]But somehow I'm not consoled and in between calling him 'Pants on Head Retarded' and 'a Blathering Nitwit' I began to wonder. Do I beat him to death with a large frozen tuna or a raw, ripe, juicy steak?[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkOrange"]Aha! I would have felt too good about myself saying that to be offended anymore XD god, what a sexy beast...[/COLOR]

[Annie]

[quote name='Sojiro47'][FONT="Book Antiqua"] I don't think he's very bright if he called you first because, as you said, it would have already showed up by now.
[/FONT][/QUOTE]

[size=1]HIV can stay "dormant" in your body for years before it flares up and becomes full-blown AIDS.

Everyone else pretty much summed it up. Would I have been offended? Absolutely; but then, knowing I'm totally clean would make me feel grateful and I would bask in the knowledge that he is plucking his brain because he came down with an STD. And he can't blame me.

Raiha wins. Ex-boyfriend is a jerkface and is forever shamed. I don't think any other weapon is necessary.[/size]

[Panache]

[QUOTE]An ex boyfriend of three years calls me at 12 a.m. after a very long [three year] silence and asks me if I have any STDs. And all over the fact that his new and supposedly virgin girlfriend has a latex allergy. But seriously, he asked me a whole bunch of questions about my promiscuity and then said that it was 'a matter of probabilities' that made him call me first. Keeping in mind that he's got several other ex girlfriends that appeared in that three year gap.[/QUOTE] You shoulda been like "The AIDs would have got you by now Prick." and then hung up.

[Domon]

[COLOR="Blue"]Go for the Tuna beatings, and if that doesn't work. Go for salmon. That always will silence any resistance!

What kind of gets me is the fact that after three years the jerk calls and asks that kind of question.. Especially at 12 AM... You should have yelled at him and threatened him [B]with the Tuna[/B].[/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

It sounds like honesty is not one of your ex boyfriend's traits. The question in my mind is why is he even asking you when as Rach pointed out, getting tested is simple. Did he even bother to explain if he had gotten something? If he had, then it might make sense to track down where, but otherwise, as sad as it sounds I'm in agreement with Rach on this one. He's looking for a scapegoat, or rather it certainly sounds like it. Why else would he even bother to mention that his new girlfriend has a latex allergy? Such a thing would be meaningless if he had no STD's. I've no advice in regards to clobbering him but it really does sound like you have every right to be offended.