Writing Little Deaths

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]It's called 'situational irony', guys. She fell on a hoe and died. :p[/FONT][/QUOTE]You lie. =P All kidding aside it was just different from what I'm use to seeing.

[Raiha]

[FONT="Times New Roman"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]So does anyone have any further requests? I've hit my goal as far as page views and post counts go, but I always have more to write about. And someone will always dislike someone else.

Especially if you're delusional.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Happy now? :p

You already know what I want. It's in the logs. Two-parter: duel then mob. Names are set.

Thunderbirds are go.[/FONT]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Kataka didn't really see Crim coming, but when he finally felt the first fist shatter into his left ear, it became very apparent that it was time to fight or die. The alley was narrow, fenced off across the back, ruining his escape. But Crim kept on coming, forcing him to retreat against the plastic and chainlink fence. He yelped in pain as a second blow smashed into his right shoulder, still frantically groping in his pants pocket for the brass knuckles he had bought the other week at a flea market.[/i]

"Okay you fucker. Let's see how you like this."

[i]Slipping them through his left fingers, he felt a sudden burst of energy and finally swung back, for the first time since the assault began, defending himself. He curled his fingers into the palm of his hand and connected with Crim's cheek, hearing crunch as the maxillary shattered. Crim fell back, his nose pouring blood much like Kataka's ear was. He moaned aloud, surprised that his mouth was still working. The red surprised both of them, glistening almost too brightly in the halogen streetlight overhead. Kataka didn't hesitate much longer, but swung again, crushing Crim's mandible, his frontal, his parietal, fueled by survivalism and rage mingling together.

In that final moment, when Crim's death rattle was gurgling through a crushed hyoid bone, Kataka paused, kneeling over Crim's chest. He looked down at the blood covering his white dress shirt, his left fist, and his right hand where he'd gripped Crim's lapel. Straddling him like he was about to deliver a tracheotomy, or forced fellatio, Kataka listened until Crim stopped breathing. Then he slowly stood up, the brass knuckles slipping from his fingers. They hit the concrete with a light ringing sound, bounced up, then clattered back down. He regarded the weapon he'd used to extinguish the life of his enemy, then he heard another sound above him.

Kataka looked up. Then he immediately looked away and tried to run for the sidewalk. Too late. The first stone had been thrown. It slammed down so hard into the pavement just in front of him that the rubble it knocked upwards cut into his cheek. He turned back, about to leap the fence, and another slammed down not two inches from his right foot. Looking back up he saw them. They had lined themselves up on the rooftops. Two lines of parallel enemies staring down at him. Some were smiling in smug triumph. Others had faces twisted in rage. One turned their head to one side and looked at him in curiosity. A soft female voice caressed his ears.[/i]

"Do you think he'll like this?"

[i]Both the fury and the pride somehow took away the anger that had been sustaining him. Both filled him with a sudden clenching sensation in his stomach. He dropped to his knees and covered his head with his hands. They began to fall, hurled down with both force and gravity on their side. One struck his right hand, breaking the knuckles, snapping the slender bones of his fingers. Another took out his ulna as he twitched and jerked, the blows pouring down over him.

Concrete, brick, bottle, rock, thrown long after the fatal blow kept coming. And they only stopped when no trace of Kataka remained, no visible reminder of the one who had murdered another. And the name of Kataka ceased to be spoken from the lips of those who had taken life from him just as he had taken life from Crim.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR="Sienna"][FONT="Tahoma"]Why did I know who was coming up next in this thread? Talk about brutal. Beating someone to death and then getting mobbed to death for killing someone. o_O

It certainly paints a grim picture. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

If it's not too cruel of me to ask, could you kill Aaryanna via being mauled to death by a pack of rabid Bichons?:catgirl:

[Mr. Blonde]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i] And the name of Kataka ceased to be spoken from the lips of those who had taken life from him just as he had taken life from Crim.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Do you feel better now?

Cause I'm still picking broken glass out of my hair.

[Korey]

[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"]I've been dealt worse hands....[/FONT]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Once upon a time Aaryanna and her Bichons frolicked gaily throughout the land, flitting here and there, little girl and little fluffballs in perfect harmony. But they were unaware of the shadows that were growing in their happy land. The Evil Overlord Allamorph was jealous of Aaryanna's simply joy as well as her beloved pet's simple trust and love for her. And so, in his wickedness, he decided to set a death curse upon her and all who were near her to suffer as well.

But first, he needed something. As usual, when he had a difficult problem to ponder, he turned to the local Leyline and fired it up. Immediately a floating female face appeared in the orb and gave him a frown.[/i]

"Oh now what?"

"You're looking charming as always today Indi."

"I'll say it again. Now what?"

"I can't decide the best way to influence dogs to turn on their master. Ideas?"

"Coat the owner in meat. Now leave me alone."

[i]The face scowled deeply at him and disappeared in a puff of red smoke. Allamorph held up a hand in a feeble gesture.[/i]

"Bu- Oh fine."

[i]He paced throughout the halls of his palace, his robe swishing behind him, drowning out the sounds of the torture chambers just beneath his Thinking Room. Finally he hit upon a solution so simple, he could have sworn he thought it up himself. [/i]

"Of course! I make those dratted dogs think she's a steak. It's BRILLIANT!"

[i]And off he went to his secret Evil Laboratory where dark things happened and darker things were created to spread foul and unclean things throughout the world. After several hours of trial and error, the curse was set and delivered in a very short order. Aaryanna's favorite brand of dog food was, as he well knew, often in short supply. So, he took the liberty of having a fresh bag delivered to her doorstep via his special flying monkey service.

And as the dogs ate the first scoops of the special dog food a change came over them. As they ingested both the dog food, and the magical substance all the bites of beefy flavored goodness, or in this case evilness, took effect, Aaryanna's Bichons began to look up at their once beloved mistress, with their beady little eyes glowing bright gold. All of a sudden instead of the two legged female thing that smelled like candy and cinnamon, they saw a two legged steak that smelled like freshly butchered, well, steak. And they beset her with eager little fangs, ripping, shredding, and rending.

Watching from his Leyline, Evil Overlord Allamorph giggled and clapped his hands, then went back to plotting his greater, far more overreaching goal of someday ruling the world.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Rachmaninoff]

First of all... WTF? And then once I read this part...[quote name='Raiha][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]The Evil Overlord Allamorph[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]I couldn't take this seriously no matter how hard I tried. Morbid or not, all I could do was snicker over the idea of Allamorph [I]actually being evil[/I].

[SIZE="1"][I]*laughs*[/I][/SIZE]

[chibi-master]

Ah, jeez! This was pefect! Not to mention pure WTF-ness! It was also strangely adorable...:catgirl:

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Ireland (Gavin) versus Wales (Andrew), Spy vs Spy style. No winner.

Let's see some funny.[/FONT]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"][i]Humming "Secret Agent Man" under his breath, Gavin quietly jiggled the lock to the Vice President of Aruba's door, carefully inserting his credit card in the lock. It stuck.

Cursing now in Gaelic, he kicked the door down instead, and burst into the room, gun drawn. Menacing a very frightened set of chartreuse curtains, Gavin thumped down behind the computer desk and inserted his zip drive into the USB port. Downloading all of the information his bosses at the I.S.S. wanted, he finished everything up, wiped down his fingerprints, and headed out the door, noticing that his enthusiastic boot to the jam, had completely ruined the hinges and broken the lock entirely. Shrugging in a rather nonchalant way, Gavin headed for the exit and was just putting his hand on the door when it was yanked open and he found himself staring into his long time rival's face. Andrew grinned and cocked back the hammer of his own rather undersized PPK. The two had a long staredown, which ended when Gavin sneezed and Andrew accidentally shot his right pinky finger off in response.[/i]

"Jesus freewheeling Christ you bloody moron! You shot my hand!"

"You sneezed! It startled me!"

"People sneeze you know! Incompetent little twit! I can't believe they passed you at M.I--"

[i]Staunching the torrential flow of blood, Gavin grimaced and rocked back and forth on his heels, while Andrew proffered his yellow and pink embroidered handkerchief. Keeping up a steady stream of verbal insults, and preoccupied with his now missing digit, Gavin didn't notice when Andrew quietly reached into his coat pocket and removed the zip drive full of information. Feigning concern, he patted Gavin on the back in a rather vague manner, and then left, leaving Gavin clutching his now numb hand, wondering if he could convince his partner back in Cork, to shoot Andrew in the head the next time he was off on a dangerous mission overseas.

It wasn't until he was safely in his car, that he realized that after Andrew had ungraciously shot off his finger, he'd also nipped the zip drive he'd worked so not...hard at all.... to steal. Sighing aloud, he properly bandaged his hand this time, put in a call to headquarters, and then began the boring and arduous task of tracking down his fellow secret agent. As he drove slowly through the crowded streets of Aruba, he thought of all the horrible things he'd be doing to Andrew once he found him and his hand was working properly again.

Two days later, he found Andrew on the tarmac of the private municipal airport. The zip drive was visible in his hand, and his other was full of the briefcase he was about to put on the small Cessna nearby. Full of righteous and not altogether unwarranted rage, Gavin strode across the walkway and without a single word of warning, marched straight up to Andrew, grabbed him by the shoulder, whirled him around and punched him in the face hard enough to break a nose. The sound of cartilage being forcibly removed from it's proper position filled the air, and Gavin snatched up the zip drive from Andrew's hand. Putting it firmly in his pants, he knocked Andrew on the head once more for good measure with his still working hand, and was about to continue pummeling Andrew when the Cessna exploded in an enormous fiery ball of plane bits and excess luggage. [/i]

"And that's the story of how I cleverly outwitted Agent Andrew from Wales and secured the information necessary for Ireland to complete it's mission."

"Oh Gavin darling, you're so daring."

[i]His girlfriend leaned against his arm and stroked his four fingered hand, giggling and cooing.

At the same time, in a bar not far from Cardiff's main airport...[/i]

"And that's the story of how I cleverly outwitted Agent Gavin from Ireland and saved the information necessary for Wales's intelligence operation to succeed."

"Bollocks." [i]Muttered the cynical and jaded prostitute sipping a pint of bitter next to him.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]As I said D I loved the ending, gave me a real laugh when you have those scenes with both of them claiming victory. Still seeing as I got my girlfriend to coo over me and Andy got the jaded hooker I think I can say fairly that of the two I came out on top.

And seeing as turnabout is fair-play Andy and Gavin team up to take down American agent Allamorph on a mission to England, story and ending are of your choice but comedy is a necessity.[/SIZE]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]This concludes this year's presentation of the Little Deaths. Please come back next year for the next round of glorious killing.[/FONT][/COLOR]