Confused

[vegeta rocker]

A good friend of mine died recently and I am at a loss; i never really realized how fragile a human life is.

Last Saturday he had a headache, Monday he had some light chest pains, Tuesday he threw up, Wednesday he was pale and was admitted to the hospital and Saturday at around 2am he was dead.

He was only 20 years old and would have been 21 in November, his girlfriend and I are good friends and we were all planning on moving in together in August.

They have no idea what it was, he was given a bone marrow biopsy on Wed. when he was admitted and the results were supposed to be back within 24 hrs but weren't.

The hospital will be performing an autopsy since they say they suspect foul play, the results should be back but aren't. Something isn't right and we all think the hospital botched the job. They say they suspect foul play because something isn't right.

They were giving him steroids and insulin, but didn't even have an idea what was wrong with him.

His mother will likely be seeking legal counsel, what do you guys think?

Have you ever lost someone suddenly?

Do you think the hospital might be responsible?

I keep expecting him to walk in the door...

[Starwind]

Sadly I can relate to the feeling. I'm convinced it's something genetic, but it seems that all the men in my family feel the need to serve in some form of public defence. Be it the military, the fire department, or the police. I myself am in the army and I've had my fair share of friends die. I know it's kinda sad to say this, but the truth of the matter is that I'm kinda cold toward it now. It's kind of a fact of my life.

As far as your story goes, I'd have to say that seeking legal counsel is a good idea. Whatever happend to him, or whatever caused him to get sick is irrelevant if they can't help him, and to take so long for a case, that from my stand point anyway, seemed that dire, there was definitly something wrong.

I don't know what to think as far as what happend, but it sounds like he was poisoned to me. And considering how progressive it was, it was probably more then once.

I understand the feeling of expecting someone you've just lost so suddenly to just...appear, like it never happend. There are days where I still expect my grandfather to just pull into the driveway in his old station wagon, and he died 4 years ago.

It's hard when we lose someone so close to us and I hope you never have to live through it so many times that it stops meaning something to you like it has me.

[chibi-master]

I am terribly sorry for your loss...I love my friends even more than my own family. I will advise that your friend's mom sue the hospital. I also recommend that you find the quacks that were treating your friend and beat their faces in! I would murder the docs if that had been my friend but I advise against you doing that since I don't want a fellow otakuboard member going to prison...

[[Sound_Nin]]

[quote name='chibi-master'] I also recommend that you find the quacks that were treating your friend and beat their faces in! I would murder the docs if that had been my friend but I advise against you doing that since I don't want a fellow otakuboard member going to prison...[/quote]

[COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua]Okay, wow. You're scary.

I can't say I know how you feel, since no one close to me has died. Nor anyone I care about. (Not everyone close to me is someone I care for.)
I could imagine, but I'd rather not.
Let's just simplify and say you must feel really bad.
Okay, cool.

Well, I'd say it's one of three things: poisoning (intentional, from someone else) food poisoning or accidental poisoning, or the doctors gave him the wrong bottle of medication, if you know what I mean.
But I'm sure you've already narrowed that down, yes?

So here's my advice: doctors and police, despite seeming like it, are NOT your friends. They just want a paycheck. If you don't keep pushing them to investigate, they won't. So just keep on them. Or nothing will ever get done. Sorry to say it, but there are a lot of crooked people in this world.

Hope I helped at least a little.
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[The Spectacular Professor]

A death of any kind is a tragic thing, but it's also important to keep your head.

My first piece of advice is to hold off on any legal action until you get that autopsy back (or about a month passes and there's still no sign of it.) I have 2 reasons for this. The first is that any attorney you consult is likely to press you to sue no matter what they know about the situation because that's how they make money. The second is that no matter how bad the situation seems, a bunch of guys in suits yelling at each other and throwing money around isn't going to fill the hole your friend left.

Also, consider the fact that although the doctors at the hospital are extremely adept at what they do, the fact remains that people make mistakes and not everything can be treated in time. They may not saved him, but the hospital didn't make him ill either. It sounds like the hospital's biggest problem is falling behind in their paperwork, which may be caused by an upsurge of patients.

Finally, this could be weighing very heavily on the doctors, too. I know if I were a doctor who lost a patient on the operating table, I would feel terrible, as if I killed them myself by not doing enough. On top of that, they'll lose credibility, trust and patients.

Though a string of letters over the internet can never sound sympathetic enough, I wish you the best and fond memories of your friend. As for the lawsuit, wait until you're fairly sure the hospital did something very wrong. The shock may be immense, but monetary "compensation" should never be able to compensate for such a loss.

As for myself, I have also lost a family member suddenly and unexpectedly. A couple of years ago, my grandfather died of a heart attack. I got home from school one day and found my mom crying her eyes out. She told dad and I what happened and I was instantly stricken with disbelief. I was so shocked I couldn't even cry, which I felt terrible about. I still really miss him, but I get by.

[Zombie_Nosh]

[quote name=''[Sound_Nin];809659'][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua] They just want a paycheck. If you don't keep pushing them to investigate, they won't. So just keep on them. Or nothing will ever get done. [/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

[COLOR="Green"]That seems very narrow minded, do you not think? To become a doctor don't you need to spend year after gruelling year excelling at school, college, etc? Then you get to enter into a job where your health is constantly at risk, not just from the virus' and whatnot that are flying about, but from the long hours and the like. And let's not forget the mental strain these guys must be under, day after day, week after week, trying to save/enhance people lives, only to be viewed as lazy money grabbers? Seems like an awful long way to go for a paycheck. A banker would've been easier . . .

Most of what I was going to say has already been said by [I][B]Aceburner[/B][/I], fair dues to ya! "Doctors are extremely adept at what they do". Any mistakes could probably be down to a heavy workload. In my experience, downright neglect is rare.

And to [I][B]vegeta rocker[/B][/I], you have my sympathies, nobody should ever have to go through such a painful experience, but again, like[I][B]Aceburner[/B][/I] said, hold off on following suit. As tragic as it is, young, fit lads and lasses can die at any moment. Athletes can just pass out during training and never come to. Suing the hospital will bring little comfort, and add extra stress to an establishment that is stressful enough as is.

[B]EDIT:[/B]And now I see that this guy was banned. Is this some sort of pisstake? Because, if it is, I feel mighty foolish right now . . .

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[Horendithas]

[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name=''[Sound_Nin];809659'][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua]So here's my advice: doctors and police, despite seeming like it, are NOT your friends. They just want a paycheck. If you don't keep pushing them to investigate, they won't. So just keep on them. Or nothing will ever get done. Sorry to say it, but there are a lot of crooked people in this world. [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]To quote your own statement:[QUOTE='[Sound_Nin];809659'][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua]Okay, wow. You're scary. [/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]Seriously, that's one of the dumbest reasons I've heard in a while to claim doctors or cops or anyone doesn't do their job. Everyone wants a paycheck, because you know... working and not getting paid just doesn't make sense.

Putting that aside, Aceburner already covered it well enough. Don't jump to conclusions, give things time to be investigated and keep your cool so you don't do something you'll regret later. Losing someone suddenly is never easy, I know, and I'm sorry to hear that your friend is gone. [quote name='Zombie_Nosh'][COLOR="Green"][B]EDIT:[/B]And now I see that this guy was banned. Is this some sort of pisstake? Because, if it is, I feel mighty foolish right now . . .[/COLOR][/QUOTE]No, they are not banned. That's just their custom title, like yours that says [I]Security Cameras in Operation[/I] If they were banned, that would be located where the title member is just under one's user name. Just look here to see what I mean: [URL="http://www.otakuboards.com/showpost.php?p=751397&postcount=196"][U]Click[/U][/URL] [/COLOR]

[vegeta rocker]

Sorry my custom title confused anyone; I just think its kind of funny. I honestly sign in sometimes and think I am banned for real. LOL

As for his case, we are going to wait a bit for results to come back, it just seems so odd. On thursday he was doing ok, was coherent and everything.

Then when they started giving him steroids he didn't know who he was.

I thank everyone who was posted something, especially Starwind. I hope you are right and that it doesn't happen so much to me all meaning is lost.

[lea]

A pretty good friend of mine died in early January. Her death was very much unexpected, like your friend.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I really do have an idea of what you're going through. The only difference is that I know who is responsible for my friends' death [she was murdered and the perpetrator was caught] but you don't, and I'm sure that affects the grieving process.

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]I'm terribly sorry to hear this has happened to you, I know how much it hurts to have a loved one die suddenly, and you of course have my deepest sympathies.

A lot of what I was going to say has already been summed up by Aceburner and Zombie_Nash. I'm glad to hear that you've decided to wait, honestly, given the circumstances I think it's the best decision to make, at least until you have all the facts.[/SIZE]

[MomoDesu]

I can't count how many of my friends I have lost over the past few years, mostly due to automobile related crap. It's hard, and shocking every time. I think I am numb to it now.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friend. I wish there was more I could say, but I know that words don't really make the pain go away.

[Drix D'Zanth]

Well, I see a broad range of appropriate reactions considering the circumstances.

Here?s two bad examples:

[QUOTE='[Sound_Nin];809659'][COLOR=Navy][FONT=Book Antiqua]
So here's my advice: doctors and police, despite seeming like it, are NOT your friends. They just want a paycheck. If you don't keep pushing them to investigate, they won't. So just keep on them. Or nothing will ever get done. Sorry to say it, but there are a lot of crooked people in this world.
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[quote name='chibi-master'] I will advise that your friend's mom sue the hospital. I also recommend that you find the quacks that were treating your friend and beat their faces in! I would murder the docs if that had been my friend but I advise against you doing that since I don't want a fellow otakuboard member going to prison...[/QUOTE]

It might be the fact that I?m finishing up medical school that?s given me perspective (and I?ll certainly acknowledge my bias). First, Nin, take a look at the Hippocratic oath. I?m not sure what is to be gained by doctors, nurses, PA?s, and other hospital staff for killing a patient. But, since you seem to have a good idea about their motivations please enlighten me on this ?doctor?s aren?t actually out to help you? conspiracy so I can confront my attending physician.

Your ignorance speaks volumes. Doctors ALWAYS have an autopsy follow up by a trained third-party medical examiner. Sometimes it?s the doctor?s fault. Sometimes it?s the nurse?s fault, the PA?s fault, the radiologist?s fault, the lab?s fault, the patient?s fault, the patient?s family?s fault, or any number of people along the hierarchy of medical care?which from a legal perspective is still the doctor?s fault.

Suing a hospital or doctor isn?t going to bring any extra closure to the boy?s mother, even if the lawyers promise that it will. Also, doctor?s are human and do make mistakes. However, for every mistake how many lives are changed for the better? Isn?t this excessive malpractice work hurting more than it?s helping?

Doctors don?t get off scot free. If I?m incompetent, I lose my license; just like I [i]should[/i]

A more likely case is that the young man died out of complications from his illness. Did he have a fever? It may have been septicemia. They were giving him insulin? He may have had acute pancreatitis. Poisioning is unlikely, but another possibility.

Regardless, all of these scenarios have one particular omission: negligence. Jumping to a conclusion based on a wild suspicion only hurts medicine, which hurts us all.

Grow up, you two.
Vegeta, on a personal note, I feel terrible for your loss. I can relate some, I found out last Tuesday that my uncle (who I was very close to) died in a freak car accident. Life can end unexpectedly premature. It is completely natural for you to go through the normal stages of grief, be it numbness, searching, despair, anger? take them on your own time. My only advice is that you keep close to those you can trust. My thoughts are with you.

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"]I really don't know what to say because I've never lost someone suddenly, ever. Everyone I've known who was close to me that died... it was something expected. Like one of my grandmothers who was quite ill, she had been so for a long time so we knew she was going to eventually pass on.

I do agree with the sentiment of waiting since jumping to conclusions does nothing but create chaos. And though it sounds a bit odd... it's a lot harder to jump back than it is to do so in the first place. Because you waste a lot of time and energy getting upset over potential shadows if that makes sense. So it's best to hold back instead.

Anyway... I certainly hope they find the cause and I am sorry to hear that your friend is gone. [/FONT]