Writing Until Proven Guilty: The Court Records of Ace O'Turney, Ace Attorney

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][B][SIZE="3"]- Part 4 -[/SIZE]

July 21st, 2014
1:30 P.M.
Napoleon Cat Memorial Park
Scene of Crime[/B][/CENTER]

The tape formed a very odd outline on the pavement. It looked as if the victim fell from a twelve-story building. Of course, the highest thing in the vicinity was the oak tree thirty feet away, so no help there.

“Wow,” muttered Chibi, “it’s almost as if he fell from a twelve-story building!”

“Yeah,” Ace agreed, “of course, the highest thing in the vicinity is that oak tree thirty feet away, so no help there.”

Chibi shook her head a little. “Déjà vu!”

The cadaver was already under examination by forensics, but the only discovery made was blunt force trauma which rendered the victim deceased instantly. Ace figured that a look around the scene wouldn’t hurt anything, so there they were.

“Any sign of a weapon, Ace?”

“None, Chibi. I wonder why he was sprawled out like this, though. It looks like he fell from a tw-”

“Hey, buddy! What’re you doing here?!”

A tall figure in a trenchcoat and fedora had approached the two. “Detective Darren,” he explained, flashing his badge.

“Hello, I’m Ace, Ace O’Turney,” said Ace O’Turney, and naturally so. It was his name, after all, “I’m defending for this case.”

“Wait, shouldn’t you be prohibited from accessing this scene if you’re the defense?” asked the officer.

Ace shrugged. “Tell it to Capcom. Any news on the murder weapon?”

“Well,” began Darren, “due to the placement of the limbs, it appears at first glance that the victim fell from a t-”

“So what did him in?” interrupted Ace.

“I’m leaning towards gravity at this time, but the forensics report hasn’t been filed yet. It could be any blunt object at all, such as this nightstick I’m carrying, or the ground,” said Darren.

Ace’s brain kicked into high gear. “Hmm, let’s see. The victim appears to have fallen from a great height, judging by the outline on the pavement.”

Chibi’s eyes lit up. “Like a twel-”

“Don’t say it. Anyway, There was also a strange flying creature spotted at the scene. I think it’s possible that this unnamed thing airlifted the victim and dropped him here, instantaneously breaking his neck. Only problem is, I can’t seem to think of any flying creatures who would do such a thing.”

“What about Albi?” suggested Darren.

Ace stared for a moment. “Who?”

“You know. In the Marmalade Forest, between the Make-Believe Trees. In a cottage cheese cottage, Lives Albi.”

“Albi?” asked Ace.

“Albi,” Darren nodded.

“Albi!” exclaimed Chibi.

“Albi the racist dragon,” finished Darren.

“…Okay, OR the killer could have moved his arms and legs around after hitting him in the back of the head with that,” suggested Chibi, pointing at a bloodstained wooden bat lying on the pavement.

“Huh,” said Darren, “You know, I have no idea how we missed that during the initial investigation.”

“Whatever,” said Ace, “I think we’ve done enough investigating for one day. Come on, Chibi. I need to prepare my defense for tomorrow now that we have a murder weapon.”

The pair left the park and with it the puzzled detective. “I seriously don’t know how anyone missed that,” he muttered, heading off to his car.

[SIZE="1"]Okay, just for reference, this chapter's Darren is actually the member known as Darren, not Rach. Although if I ever do get around to putting Rach in here, which I probably will, I'll probably bring back the good detective here too, just for the name gag hilarity.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[chibi-master]

[I]Albi the racist dragon?![/I] That made me laugh so hard that my cereal came out my nose! Good thing I have good aim with that sort of stuff so it missed my laptop.:animeswea But seriously, how does anyone miss a blood-drenched baseball bat?! What kind of idiots are you letting do the crime scene investigation?:confused:

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Jesus, first I'm the prime suspect in DigitalBoy's murder, than I thought I saw a flying purple... ur... thing that killed him. Now we have to deal with Albi the racist Dragon? Wait.... is he homophobic, cause if he is, I'm screwed in this case :animesigh

Wait a wooden bat? Paranoia Agent is now a part of this story... damn Ace you're pulling out allthe stops. But great story so far, I just hope I'm innocent![/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]"Well I think it's because I'm SO racist. Get your hand off my tail you'll make it dirty..."

Growled Albi quite racistly...

10 points for insertion of Flight of the Conchords.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="1"]Okay, just for reference, this chapter's Darren is actually the member known as Darren, not Rach. Although if I ever do get around to putting Rach in here, which I probably will, I'll probably bring back the good detective here too, just for the name gag hilarity.[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]Ah... for a moment I wondered about that. o_O It gets confusing when there are two Darren's on the boards. Anyway, sounds like DB got dropped flat on his face. =P

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]"Well I think it's because I'm SO racist. Get your hand off my tail you'll make it dirty..."

Growled Albi quite racistly...

10 points for insertion of Flight of the Conchords.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Yeah. My favorite part of the song is probably:

"No, Albi. You didn't kill me with your dragon's flame. I crawled to safety. But you did leave me very badly disfigured."

Laughed the boy.

Next episode: Business Time (not really.)[/FONT]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][B][SIZE="4"]- Part 5 -[/SIZE]

July 22nd, 2014
10:00 A.M.
District Court
Defendant’s Lobby No. 2[/B][/CENTER]

“So what did you find, Ace?”

“Not much, Prem. Just some bloodstains on the pavement and this bloodied bat that was somehow overlooked by the investigation team.”

Prem shook his head. “Man, that’s pathetic. Where do they get their recruits?”

“I have no idea,” sighed Ace, “this thing is our biggest lead, though. Also, you’re still the prime suspect, even though I succeeded in confusing the court quite nicely yesterday. We need to get you off the chopping block and I think I know how to do it.”

“It’s so strange,” mused Prem, “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away -”

“And with any luck they’ll be leaving again sometime in the next two hours,” Ace cut in, “Well, we’d better get in there, come on.”

[CENTER][B]July 22nd, 2014
10:15 A.M.
District Court
Courtroom No. 2[/B][/CENTER]

“So remind me again why court starts 15 minutes after the hour, Ace,” asked Chibi.

“I‘m not sure, but I think the clock in here is 15 minutes early. You’d think they would have gotten that fixed by now.”

“Welcome back, all in attendance. Yesterday the trial was ended on the note of further investigation. Has the defense made any new discoveries?” asked the Judge.

“Yes, ma’am,” replied Ace, “we discovered a possible murder weapon left behind at the scene of the crime. It was lying out in plain sight, yet the investigators somehow overlooked it.”

“I’m surrounded by morons,” sighed Gavin, “one more mistake like that and they’ll be paying to work.”

“That reminds me, Mr. Zeitgeist. How is it that you prosecutors threaten the police force with salary cuts even though you have no real power over such a thing,” questioned Ace.

“Because we’re awesome,” replied Gavin, “Those people are fools and I will not tolerate their incompetence any longer.”

“Moving on,” the judge said through her teeth, “Is there any news on the unidentified flying object?”

“None, Your Honor. The defense at this time believes it was just a bird. Anyway, we would like to present evidence now.”

“Very well, Mr. O’Turney,” replied the justice, “let’s see this evidence.”

Ace gestured towards the middle of the floor and whistled. A group of men ran in, chanting “hut, hut, hut.” The made their way to the middle of the room, set up a scarecrow-like object, then ran off as quickly as they came, still chanting ”hut, hut, hut.” No one dared to question the sheer bizarreness of this occurrence.

The scarecrow had a ponytail and a crude-drawn on face complete with crude, incomplete facial hair. “This,” began Ace, “Is a dummy of the victim, Tical ‘Digital’ Boy.”

“ No, the dummy was the victim!” shouted a juror, who was immediately removed and replaced, having revealed that he had a connection to the case.

“Anyway,” continued Ace, watching the hapless former jury member being dragged off kicking and screaming by bailiff Dagger, “I am going to demonstrate why my client could not have killed this man.”

Ace lifted the bat. “My client recently had hand surgery, meaning he could not have possibly swung the bat hard enough to do THIS!” he yelled, Sending the replica’s head flying, “What’s more, he also would have had to hit the body multiple times, like THIS!” he continued, beating the doll so hard that candy began to fall out, despite the fact that there was previously none in there.

“Um, Ace?” queried Chibi, “Are you okay?”

“Never felt better,” replied Ace, grinning maniacally as he put the bat down and proceeded to punch the tattered remains of the scarecrow.

“That’s enough, Mr. O’Turney,” interrupted the Judge, “You have made your point. The defendant can’t have murdered this man, because you’re enjoying it too much! I hereby formally declare you to be the prime suspect in the murder case of Mr. Tical Boy!”

Ace only had one thing to say.

“D’OH!”[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Ace lifted the bat. ?My client recently had hand surgery, meaning he could not have possibly swung the bat hard enough to do THIS!? he yelled, Sending the replica?s head flying, ?What?s more, he also would have had to hit the body multiple times, like THIS!? he continued, beating the doll so hard that candy began to fall out, despite the fact that there was previously none in there.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

Best freakin' part of the whole post!!!:animesmil And Gavin needs some therapy...
By the way, Ace...do I still get paid if your a** is thrown in jail?:confused: And how come I didn't get a whack?! My umbrella's collecting dust here!!!:p

[Haku877]

[quote name='chibi-master']Best freakin' part of the whole post!!!:animesmil And Gavin needs some therapy...
By the way, Ace...do I still get paid if your a** is thrown in jail?:confused: And how come I didn't get a whack?! My umbrella's collecting dust here!!!:p[/QUOTE]

Because. If you remember, you hand had surgery, thus you can't wack it. or can you?

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Haku877']Because. If you remember, you hand had surgery, thus you can't wack it. or can you?[/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Prem had hand surgery, dude.

Chibi's just not cut out for prison life is all.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]?I?m surrounded by morons,? sighed Gavin, ?one more mistake like that and they?ll be paying to work.?

?That reminds me, Mr. Zeitgeist. How is it that you prosecutors threaten the police force with salary cuts even though you have no real power over such a thing,? questioned Ace.

?Because we?re awesome,? replied Gavin, ?Those people are fools and I will not tolerate their incompetence any longer.?[/FONT][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]*Applauds*

That has really made my day Ace, even more than your Naruto summary which gave me a good laugh too. I wouldn't even like to guess how many times I've uttered the phrase "I'm surrounded by morons" under my breath so, yeah undebatable accuracy there, heh.

*Applauds again*[/SIZE]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]?That?s enough, Mr. O?Turney,? interrupted the Judge, ?You have made your point. The defendant can?t have murdered this man, because you?re enjoying it too much! I hereby formally declare you to be the prime suspect in the murder case of Mr. Tical Boy!?

Ace only had one thing to say.

?D?OH!?[/FONT][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]Dibs on prosecuting him !![/SIZE]

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Haha, loved this part Ace, just one question. What happened to my hand T_T? If you're insinuating I have a broken hand because I've been taking whacks at things other than DB dolls... I swear to god!

Boy, I really shouldn't swear to him :animesigh[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Chibi's just not cut out for prison life is all.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

I thought about arguing this at first, but then I realized that you're right. Mouthing off to the authority figures and fellow inmates would get me in trouble alot...:animeswea Actually, my dad once told me this:

Dad: [insert first name here], it sure is a good thing that you're taking karate, 'cause that mouth of yours is going to get you in deep s*** one of these days.:animesigh

Me: Umm...thanks?:confused:
________________________________________________
But Haku, if it makes you feel better, I fractured a growth plate in my right wrist a few months ago...

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Haha, loved this part Ace, just one question. What happened to my hand T_T?[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]A wizard did it.

Nah, I think it was Carpal Tunnel. You play piano for a living. Yeah. That's it. A wizard made you play piano.[/FONT]

[Haku877]

[quote name='chibi-master']
But Haku, if it makes you feel better, I fractured a growth plate in my right wrist a few months ago...[/QUOTE]

hmmmm. A little. Not a lot. But A small bit. =P

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Hehe, the best part by far is him getting in trouble by proving his client couldn't have done it. So the question now is... who is going to defend you? o_O

*laughs* :catgirl:[/FONT]

[Aberinkula]

[quote name='Sabrina'][FONT="Tahoma"]So the question now is... who is going to defend you? o_O [/FONT][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]I will... because I'm a doctor...

no? Okay, I will because it's my soul duty as Highlander... not that either. Oh hell, Ace you're on your own >_>[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Sabrina'][FONT="Tahoma"]So the question now is... who is going to defend you? o_O [/FONT][/QUOTE]

Whatever you do, please don't look at the assistant.:animedepr
Umm...so, Mr. Looney-Gavin...feel like becoming a defense attorney...of my boss?:confused:

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I've got it covered, guys. I'm going to be defending myself. Of course, I can't investigate when I'm in detention, so I'll need to have that taken care of. Feel free to speculate.[/FONT]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I've got it covered, guys. I'm going to be defending myself.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

That isn't legal, is it...:therock:

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][CENTER][B]- Part 6 -
[/B][/CENTER][/SIZE]
[B][CENTER]July 22, 2014
3:00 P.M.
Detention Center
Visitor?s Room[/CENTER][/B]

?Glad to see you could make it,? grinned Ace, ?I hear you?ve been pretty busy lately.?

?Yeah, well it?s hard to take a day off of working with Interpol,? replied Inspector Korey, ?we?ve been after some new guy for months. We don?t know who he is or what kind of operation he runs. We only know two things. He likes his dirty deeds done dirt cheap, and he goes by ?The D.??

?So what?s that short for, anyway?? asked Ace, ?The Don? The Duke? The Duck??

?We have no idea. Anyway, back to you,? Korey was smiling from ear to ear. ?You really failed this time. Eh, Ace??

Ace glared. ?Shut up, man. I called you here because you?re pretty good at digging stuff up, being an Interpol detective and all. I?m going to be defending myself tomorrow, and I need evidence to show someone else had a motive. You can at least do that much, right??

?I?ll see what I can do. By the way, where?s that Chibi kid you were telling me about earlier??

Ace shrugged. ?She?s probably back at the office, filing paperwork or trying to post bail or something. Not like there was any amount that could get me off of a murder charge even if she was loaded, though. She asked me if it was legal to defend myself earlier.?

?Yeah?? chuckled Korey, ?what did you tell her??

?It is in this universe.?*

?Nice. Well, I?d better get going if you want me to drum up some evidence. See ya tomorrow.?

[B][CENTER]July 22, 2014
6:30 P.M.
Downtown
Tony[/CENTER][/B]

My name is Korey. Korey Looter. I work with Interpol.

A couple of hours ago, I received a call from an old friend, Ace O?Turney. He?d always been a funny kind of guy. He tended to do a lot of things that made it easy to torment him. Nowadays, it seems he?s working in a suspiciously-named law firm defending clients by getting himself in trouble. Still a failure, I see.

Anyway, he got himself in some trouble and needed me to find some evidence to get him off. Bein? the kind of guy I am, I decided to help him out. I didn?t have much of a lead, but there?s always one place to go to find one: Tony, the bar downtown. I decided to head down and check it out.

I got to the place a little after 6:30. I checked the bar and spotted just the man I wanted to see: Shinmaru, the resident expert on everything worth knowing. I sat beside him and slipped him a fiver.

?Tell me what I wanna know.?

?Never thought you?d be inside Tony,? he said, ?Why don?t you get us something? to drink and I?ll see if I can help you out a little.?

I turned around and waved down the barkeep. There?s one thing you gotta know about Tony. The band is terrible. You could say the singer can?t carry a tune in a bucket. So naturally, it?s a pretty unpleasant experience until you get a little alcohol in ya.

But after one round with Josè Cuervo, I caught my shoes tappin? along with the beat.
And after two rounds with Josè Cuervo, that band was sounding pretty darn good to me.

Anyway, Ol? Shin got his drink and nodded to me.

?what you wanna know?? he asked.

I told him the situation and asked if he had any leads. He nodded again.

?Little O?Turney in trouble? What else is new?? he chuckled, ?that kid was always darn good at failing. Remember that Multiplayer Moe incident??

?Yeah,? I nodded, smiling, ?But that?s not the point. I need info, Shin.?

?Well, you?ve come to the right place. Word on the street is there?s a massive terrorist plot to take down the entire network. Not the good kind of terrorism, like that stuff a couple of years ago, the bad kind. The ruin everyone?s day and be a loser kind.?

?Any reason DB would be a target?? I asked.

?Of course. He was a prominent member of the Network for years. Sure, it?s a little late. Not everyone may know that, though.?

?Thanks, Shin,? I said, slipping him a few more bills, ?oh, I?d better just ask. Any word on who might be behind all this??

Shin smiled at me and started talking real slowly. ?Of course I know that, Korey. I?m sure you?re familiar with him. He calls himself ?The D.??

With that revelation and a sudden realization that I was a lot more involved in this case than I thought, I turned to leave. I didn?t want to linger inside Tony for too long.

[SIZE="1"]*Yeah, but I?m pretty sure it is in this one, too.[/SIZE]


Note: The Tony thing is an epic chat reference. Best. Bar name. Ever.[/FONT]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"] Nowadays, it seems he?s working in a suspiciously-named law firm defending clients by getting himself in trouble. Still a failure, I see.[/FONT][/QUOTE]Best part of the whole thing. Not that you're a failure, but that you used that to poke fun of your own character in the story. It just seemed very fitting for the overall feel of this piece. =P Anyway, I have my suspicions as to who "The D" is but I'll wait and see if I'm right.

[chibi-master]

Whoa! I would've missed this installment had I not been searching through Rach's most recent posts! (I do that to random members when I'm bored...) Dang it!!! I need to read your sig. more often, Ace! (I'd subscribe, but I'm too lazy...)

When I read the "It is in this universe." part, I gagged on my ice cream...my head hurts from snorting frozen dairy products through laughter...:animedepr

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Points for AC/DC.

Hopefully this Mr. D pities no fools, and isn't a Night Elf Mohawk.[/FONT]

[Odin M Yggdrasi]

Making progress, and still with great comedy too. Though I am curious, who DID really kill DB.

Or for the matter, is he really even dead?