Does anyone believe in love at first sight???

[The Spectacular Professor]

Hang on a sec. You know, I'm not entirely convinced being attracted to someone the first time you see them is necessarily always lust. Thing is, lust is described as the desire of the flesh, pretty much means your base intention is sex. However, you can look at someone and decide that they look like an interesting person that you would like to get to know better. Your first thought doesn't need to be:

[YOUTUBE="Gigitty"]sr-0-El9cqs[/YOUTUBE]

I'll agree that it's most likely the most common motive, though.

[Ellerby]

[FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"]Love is a dangerous emotion. It's easy to think you're falling in love with someone and end up heartbroken but at the same time it's possible to believe you'll never be with a certain someone and be completely blind sided by the fact that they feel the same for you.

Do I believe in love at first sight? No. I believe in a romantic connection at first sight. That first time you look into each others eyes and you just sense... something. It's not love but it's certainly more then just a staring contest. [/COLOR][/FONT]

[DeLarge]

[QUOTE]Hang on a sec. You know, I'm not entirely convinced being attracted to someone the first time you see them is necessarily always lust. Thing is, lust is described as the desire of the flesh, pretty much means your base intention is sex.[/QUOTE]

[SIZE=1]Dude, you just described me all over. Shaboing...boing. (that works so much better IRL)

Anyway, I've grown to the realisation that love isn't something that happens at first sight, and it isn't some fairytale, storybook thing which makes every single little crappy thing in your life better in every way. We've been brainwashed by thousands of sappy emotional rom-coms to believe in the re-establishment of the ideal status quo, but it just doesn't happen.

So no, I don't believe in love at first sight - I think love is something that needs to be worked at, built up over time, and then it will actually mean something. There can be an instant connection when you first meet someone, but that isn't love - it's just a mutual attraction. Plus, you can't ascertain every facet of someone's personality from "first sight," and real, proper love can never be based simply on appearances.

But then again, I'm British and as such incredibly cynical when it comes to love.
[/SIZE]

[Panache]

[QUOTE]Thing is, lust is described as the desire of the flesh, pretty much means your base intention is sex. However, you can look at someone and decide that they look like an interesting person that you would like to get to know better.[/QUOTE]Well that's true. I probably should have but lust at first sight or obvious chemistry.

Anyway Indi is right I think. I think in retrospect it may seem like you immediately fell in love. But if something horrible happened like say...he/she is horribly mutilated right before your eyes before you say anything to him/her. Will you still be in love?

[Nerdsy]

[quote name='chibi-master']Off topic: And Nerdsy, leave my posts alone. [/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]No. [/color]


[quote name='Allamorph']The point is, you people are arguing over two completely different aspects of love that are not mutually exclusive.[/quote]

[color=deeppink]Now that's just it, I'm not. My stance is that love at first sight is not only not an aspect of love, but that it doesn't happen. "Love can happen on sight" and "love can only happen once you get to know someone" [i]are[/i] mutually exclusive stances.

It's infatuation. It may lead to love, but it isn't love. [/color]

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Wow, this is really bad, no one believes in the little miricales like true love at first sight. I'm sorry but no one is ever gonna convince me its not out there and it does not happen. If I ever get my husband on here he'll agree what we have was off of love at first sight. The both of us just knew in our hearts that we wanted to be with each other forever. And no it was not lust or a mutual attraction that grew to love. It was deep from the begining. We were in love with each other the moment we met. I'll argue that fact till the day I die and so will he. I think to all of you that doubt it your close minded(Not all of you) but its real, it happens and I have the family to prove it. But wether I am proof or not its all what we all believe. So there. I'm done with trying to win a loseing battle with people who think that an attraction to a person can not be love, real love, that its all about lust or just an attraction. So :P I'm done.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Raiha]

[quote name='DeLarge'][SIZE=1]
But then again, I'm British and as such incredibly cynical when it comes to love.
[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]And I'm German. We don't need love. It makes us start wars and crap.

I think it's very cute to see 13 year olds tell me about love. Honestly.

But then again, everyone is trying to quantify a chemical response in the brain that makes your eyelashes go up and down and little hearts fly out of you. Or so my 7 year old sister told me. Don't get me wrong, I think love is a beautiful thing, but as far as Insta-Lurve... It just doesn't happen. You might genuinely believe that you've found "The One" and that everything from this point forward will be chocolate hearts and candy canes but give it time.

March in lock step with me Nerdsy and DeLarge.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Panache]

Oh yea and why do I have to be "Cynical" and "Close Minded" just because I don't believe in a concept that I can't rationalize in any way shape or form without changing my own definition of love drastically? So does that make it fair to call all the people who believe in love at first sight delusional fools?

[Raiha]

[quote name='Panache'] So does that make it fair to call all the people who believe in love at first sight delusional fools?[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]The temptation to say "yes, most definitely" here is very strong, but instead I'll just reiterate.

No. But it is fair to say that love isn't something that you can instnatly know without getting to know someone. That "connection" may turn out to be just a passing fancy when it turns out that person has habbits you find utterly loathsome. Like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste, or leaving the toilet seat up.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Knuckles' Girl'][COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm sorry but no one is ever gonna convince me its not out there and it does not happen.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Same here!:animesmil

[Panache]

[QUOTE]That "connection" may turn out to be just a passing fancy when it turns out that person has habits you find utterly loathsome.[/QUOTE] This has happened to me many times. I think that the connection may get you close to the person and you may eventually love them. But then the love comes long after the first sight not at the time itself.

Oh and Knuckles if you think you think you found mutual love at first sight that's fine with me. I just can't understand how any person can fall for someone beyond a superficial level without saying a single word to them. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Falling in love with all of someone via one aspect of them is just something I can't wrap my head around.

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Again it is impossible to make you all believe that I am a wife and mother through the product of love at fist sight. And I will say I believe that is what is was for the fact that I dated before I met my husband and never felt what I felt for him when I saw my Xs but when I saw Knuckles something felt right about him and it was the same with him, he was engaged when we first met and he said his feelings for me that day were strong enough to make him think twice. But like I said for those of us that do believe it we are fighting a losing battle. Perosnally I feel sad that people do not believe in it anymore but thats just how it is anymore.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][quote name='Panache'] So does that make it fair to call all the people who believe in love at first sight delusional fools?[/QUOTE]Who said anything about delusional? Rose colored glasses implies that upon reaching that happier state of love or marriage, the person or persons in question are looking back at when they first met and romanticizing it as if it were a perfect moment of instant love.

But the reality is, as one who is 37 and has watched her friends get married - declare it was love at first sight, only to later on get divorced and realize it was anything but that... just brings home the reality that if anything, love at first sight, or rather believing in it is dangerous and downright foolish if you want to build something that's going to last.

Everyone I know who has been more successful with their marriage and raising kids, do think of that moment they first met as being special, but they never say they fell in love at first sight. Because after a decade or more of raising kids and getting through those hard times, their love is far more than just a fleeting first second of meeting one another.

So I do not believe in it because it is a false promise or faulty belief that you can just meet someone and instantly fall in love. True love in my opinion comes from getting to truly know the person you are with and putting in the effort to make it work. True love comes from all those little things you do for one another that shows you know them well enough to understand them.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Panache]

[QUOTE]something felt right about him and it was the same with him[/QUOTE]Y'see that sounds more like a connection rather than all out love. A precursor to love sure.I mean at the very point you met him before you tow exchanged words would you have been willing to marry him at that point in time?

(I mean no offense to you, your husband or your family when I ask these things...hopefully I don't offend)

[QUOTE]Who said anything about delusional? Rose colored glasses implies that upon reaching that happier state of love or marriage, the person or persons in question are looking back at when they first met and romanticizing it as if it were a perfect moment of instant love. [/QUOTE]
I wasn't referring to that comment specifically when I said that. I just feel like some mean old man who has no hope for love when I am referred to as cynical or close minded towards love.

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Here is what I suppose I should have said from the start. My husband and I did fall in love at first sight(I can't be unconvinced of that) BUT we did work on getting much closer afterwards. We started off close, we felt like we had known each other forever but we did get closer over the years and we do those little things to show one another we care. I'll cook his fav meals when I get the chance and he'll do things for me as well. I do believe it happened to me and I am sorry for those of you who do not understand, it just happened. But we did have to talk and get to know one another but we both knew no matter what either one said we still wanted to be with each other. Like I said we fought all the time at first but I never wanted to be away from him or with out him in my life. To this day we fight alot but the fights are not serious or in any way relationship crippling. Squabbles that are over in minutes and we're cuddling and laughing about it. Its just how we are. Both of us believe it was actual love at first sight but as stated its a losing battle and I know I'll never convince anyone of that but I can always give my opinion.

And Panache, in all honesty yes i would have. I'm a firm believer of following ones heart and I always have done that And not you did not offend cause I know we have two different beliefs its not a problem.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Ellerby]

[FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"]You seriously believe that you fell in love with him the minute you laid eyes on him? Are you sure you didn't just [i]know[/i] it was him and then as you got to know each other you fell in love?

I mean, for you to say you were in love from the moment you saw each other to me just says that after that nothing changed and that love is nothing special. The love didn't heighten or anything. It's kind of an insult to love.

Did you know him even remotely any way before you locked eyes? Maybe online? Or even through a friend? Or was he actually just a complete stranger whose name you didn't even know that you happened to make eye contact with?

Sorry if I'm coming off as a bit rude, I'm just very curious.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='CrimsonKnight][COLOR="Red"']i was wondering if anyone still believes you can love some one as soon as you see them. [/COLOR][/quote]I am going to assume that you are referring to someone you have never met before, that upon seeing them it is your first time. Under those circumstances love at first sight is in my mind impossible. In order to love someone, I think you have to know more about them. To think that it can happen in an instant is something I think cheapens love and turns it into an everyday common occurrence instead of something beautiful, profound and everlasting.

Now perhaps if it is someone you’ve have had some form of contact with, whether it’s online, growing up or even at work. Later on I could see that moment of love at first sight in the sense that you’ve looked at each other and realized there is more than just a casual acquaintance or friendship going on. That would be your magical moment of realizing that you loved that person and upon doing so, you realized it was “love at first sight”

And by love at first sight I mean that instead of going into the phase of wondering if you really care about them or not, you know them well enough to realize it’s more than just a feeling of attraction or lust or other possible feelings. That ties back to what I was saying about you have to know them to love them though. [/FONT]

[Panache]

[QUOTE]I mean, for you to say you were in love from the moment you saw each other to me just says that after that nothing changed and that love is nothing special. The love didn't heighten or anything. It's kind of an insult to love.[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Something so deep, meaningful and important can't be so easily obtained. And falling in love with someone and you don't even know their name? I just can't rationalize that at all.

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]One thing you both are forgetting is love always grows. Yes we fell in love and no it is not an insult to love at all its honoring it to me by being able to say it happened and trust it. Yes he was a stranger to me but we have had a deep and meaningful love from the begining and it has grown stronger over the past 6 years. It has always been and will always be a deep love that will continue to grow and you dont believe me ask Knuckles him self.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]:therock: And here I thought it was the married adults who usually told young impressionable and silly kids to not believe in the illusion of "love at first sight" to help save them from all those teen pregnancies and so forth. Anyway...

I don't don't believe in it. Period. It's not cynical nor is it meant as some form of disrespect for those who do believe it exists. It's me realizing that the idea I could love someone who until that moment I had never met, just isn't possible.

The day my emotions take precedent over logical and rational thinking is the day someone needs to drag me out into the street and put me out of my misery so to speak.

[I]*shot*[/I][/FONT][/COLOR]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Aaryanna'][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]The day my emotions take precedent over logical and rational thinking is the day someone needs to drag me out into the street and put me out of my misery so to speak.

[I]*shot*[/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

That was quick.

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][quote name='Aceburner']That was quick.[/QUOTE]No... that was me being shot for being cynical in the thread. :p Because boys = blech.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Allamorph]

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]Because boys = blech.[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]
[FONT=Arial]Now you're just being mean. ó_ò

[quote name='Aaryanna][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]The day my emotions take precedent over logical and rational thinking....[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]
See, that's how people think I'm antisocial. You get the emotions subjugated and people think you're an inhuman freak.

Or maybe that's just because I don't make any sound when I walk. Dunno.[/FONT]

[Ellerby]

[FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"][quote name='Aaryanna'][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]No... that was me being shot for being cynical in the thread. :p Because boys = blech.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
You like [i]girls[/i]? [spoiler]Kidding![/spoiler] :angel:

Well, you've got to start liking boys sometime. You can't deny the existence of men forever (although some try)! Just wait until you're like 16 or 17. I'm sure you'll have changed your mind about boys by then.

So, I've been doing a tiny bit of research. Basically there are two perceptions of Love at First Sight. One is what most of us in this thread believe, which is a romantic connection or at the very most a desire to be with the person and the other is what Knuckles' Girl claims to have happened which is actually falling in love with the person as soon as you meet.

I think the main problem we're having here is that Love is almost undefinable. It just seems that Knuckles' Girls personal definition of love is different from ours. And there's nothing that will change that.

[SIZE="3"]So I ask you all this, [B]what is your definition of [COLOR="Red"]Love[/COLOR]?[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

[Rachmaninoff]

[quote name='8bit;813193][FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"]I think the main problem we're having here is that Love is almost undefinable. It just seems that Knuckles' Girls personal definition of love is different from ours. And there's nothing that will change that. [/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]That's really the key isn't it... [I]personal [/I]definition. Just as the other point is the thread was asking what [I]you[/I] believed. And in my case, I don't. I'm not expecting her to change her opinion on the subject. Just as I'm not going to change mine. [quote name='8bit'][FONT="Tahoma"][COLOR="DimGray"][SIZE="3"]So I ask you all this, [B]what is your definition of [COLOR="Red"]Love[/COLOR]?[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR'][/FONT][/quote]Others have already been stating what they think love is, and at first sight is what it's not, in my opinion. The real problem with the concept of "love at first sight" is that there is often a concept that it's all emotional or magical when there's a lot of other factors such as physical ones that you respond to. Perhaps you like blondes or tall women, that sort of thing. So you can run into that "instant" attraction, but whether or not that goes further is going to depend on factors such as having common interests or rather connecting beyond that first moment.

So the idea that "love at first" sight can somehow happen, conveniently overlooks the fact that you have that "instant" connection happen all the time; only most of the time other than a date or two or that glance, nothing comes from it. Sure you can argue that it wasn't real love, but I'll argue that so-called "love at first sight" is being mistaken for that chemistry that attracts you to someone in the first place.

Whether or not it becomes a true love is something that happens after you get to know the person further and come to care about them because you know them. That takes time and effort and didn't happen the moment you met them. Of course you're going to look back fondly at the first moment you met and it will feel like "love at first sight" after all, it's likely you've had similar experiences that didn't go anywhere so the one that did is going to feel special.