Writing Memory Flash(short)

[Lunar]

[COLOR="Red"]Pretty stupid story. Pretty long. could only fit two chapters in. sorry.:animedepr[/COLOR]







Prologue
Interview with psychiatrist: Tape One
So, Michael, can you tell me why you don't remember anything?
Why don't I remember anything? I honestly don't know. But I do remember that day. Andrew wasn't the oldest, I was the oldest, but he became the leader of our group. He was always the one looking for danger, we followed him like a bunch of whipped dogs. Heh. We even got in trouble a few times because we almost killed ourselves. That day, I think it was a Saturday, Andrew led us to that graveyard. Me and Isaac didn't want to go. We all knew something bad was going to happen, we just didn't know when. We or should I say, Andrew was planning to dig up his grandmother's bones. I knew it was wrong, but I went. I feel bad now. I was the oldest and I should of taken control, but instead I just stood there and listened to Andrew. I can't change that now. Well, we came across a glowing orb. It was kinda like a sun, but it was blue and brighter. The nervous feeling came back stronger than ever. Andrew leaned in to touch it and I told him that it was a bad idea. He told me to shut up and that if I wasn't going to suck it up and be a man, that I should leave. I was boiling with rage after he said that. I let him touch it. If he got burned up, it was his problem, not mine. He touched it. Nothing. He kicked it. Nothing. Andrew got tired soon and started walking away. That was when it happened. A blinding light surrounded us. We all fell. I woke up next to Ellen. In school, she was the popular one. I looked in the mirror. I wasn't me. I mean I was me, but I was a grown man now. I remember thinking to myself, "Who the heck is this guy?"

Chapter 1
"Michael!"
It was my wife, Ellen. Wife? When did I get a wife? Sure, I had girlfriends, but a wife? Ellen? She was the girl I wished I could go out with. She was walking towards me with our kids. When did I have kids? Wasn't I a kid myself?
"Daddy!"
Daddy? When did I start getting called "Daddy?" What happened to "Mike" or "Mikey?" I looked at the pictures on the fireplace. Who were those people? I didn't know that man. I was that man when I looked in the mirror, though. Where did time go? I was that 35-year old man on the outside. I had the mind of a 15-year old on the inside. I thought about the saying that my parents used to say. "Time is flying by. Before you know it, you will be 35." I knew that they were playing, but my life really did fly by. The little girl with the black hair and green eyes ran towards me and hugged me. I looked at her. Wasn't I too young to have children? I thought again. I wasn't. I was 36.
The feeling that I felt was weird. It was like a trance. I knew these people, these things, my job. But I really didn't have a clue of what kind of world it was. My boss- wait I didn't have a boss. I owned a company. It was obviously really good, because I was rich. I remembered the time that I had woken up. Not from sleep, but as from a dream. I remembered signing papers and suddenly snapping back into the real world. Where was I? This job? Why wasn't I at school? Where were my parents at? I remembered taking off from work. I said I was sick. I half-expected to come home and see my parents. I didn't. I saw my wife and children. One part of my mind was happy and wanted to give them a hug. But the other side was wary of these people. It's a weird kind of feeling, having two minds. Not knowing whether or not to do this or that. I walked away.
"Michael, I need to talk to you."
"How do you know my name?"
"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about, Michael. You always leave me and your children just so you can sit there and stare into space. You barely even talk to me anymore, Michael, what's wrong?"
"I.........don't know. Who are you?"
"Your wife, Michael. I'm your wife, Ellen."
"Ellen. I thought you were the most popular girl in school. Every time I asked you out, you said no."
" Stop living in the past, Michael. That was 20 years ago. You've been like this ever since that day someone found you in that graveyard."
"That graveyard? Andrew? Isaac? How are they?"
"Stop, Michael. This is getting annoying. Either you talk to me, or you don't."
"What? What are you talking about? I don't even know............"
I trailed off. I got lightheaded. Suddenly I was in the hospital. I saw my parents hovering over my bed. I was a kid again.

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Before I even touch the actual story itself, have you thought about formatting it to make it easier to read/follow? You have everything running together so that kind of disorder can be distracting. Take this here:

[INDENT]"Michael!"
It was my wife, Ellen. Wife? When did I get a wife? Sure, I had girlfriends, but a wife? Ellen? She was the girl I wished I could go out with. She was walking towards me with our kids. When did I have kids? Wasn't I a kid myself?
"Daddy!"[/INDENT]
Change that to this:
[INDENT]"Michael!"

It was my wife, Ellen. Wife? When did I get a wife? Sure, I had girlfriends, but a wife? Ellen? She was the girl I wished I could go out with. She was walking towards me with our kids. When did I have kids? Wasn't I a kid myself?

"Daddy!"[/INDENT]
See the difference, simple spacing can make a story flow better. [/FONT]