Writing Book idea - it is forbidden to fall in love

[han ki-tae]

Hello everybody

This is the outline of a story I want to write.

I wrote about this earlier as youta moteuchi (please see "It's forbidden to fall in love")and now I am back to see if I can finish it - my English got better so it does not take me hours to write a paragraph anymore....

please let me know what you think.
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ZERO HOURS

Marco is in his car by the river. The last couple of hours had been chaotic? the running around to get the information he needed, the mess at Marconi?s office, depositions to the police, delivering the news to his wife, and finally the envelope she had given him. He looked at and open wrinkled envelope resting on the passenger sit. He was surprised by the recent findings in his research. He needs to get to his office ASAP. They would be on to him just like they were to Marconi earlier, it was just a matter of time. Suddenly black car shows up after him, stalker, high speed. This was too soon. There were no other cars on the street, which was rare considering it was downtown. He needed to make a run for it. He steps in the gas. He makes a sharp turn to the right. The car is faster and presses his car against the wall separating him from the river below. The wall gives in. A boy on a bus stop sees it all happening. The car falls into the darkness.



DAY ONE ? the start of it all

Dream with Luciana.

Gilson gets up in the morning. He watched anime till late on the previous night. Poster of Sarah, the singer on the wall and random anime advertisements as well. Clock says 10:27. He falls back on the bed ? trying to sleep a little longer.

11:35
Marco wakes up in his office at home ? he had overslept. He wakes up kind of in an ?uncool? position since he was working from home and did not even get changed or gone to bed before passing out on his desk. Piles of papers are everywhere in the room. . He thinks that he is going crazy, but this would not be for to long: he was just waiting for a phone call. He needed to get to work soon ? that phone call would do everything for him. 12:00pm was the arranged time for the call ? he had to rush. He looks at a family picture of him, his wife and daughter and kisses them goodbye before he rushes over to his car deciding it was too late for him to change and his clothes were good enough, considering he never took them off on the previous day.

12:55
Gilson is getting to school thinking of the dream he had on the previous night. He was sleepy for he had gone to bed very late and the dream did not let him sleep well. He woke up late to get ready for school. He gets of the bus on a trance due to his slumber - sleepwalking. Phil comes from behind him and tries to get his attention with no results. He then screams at his ears and wakes him up with a scare. Gilson is going to explain why he was so sleepy when they were interrupted by a girl ? the girl from the dream ? Luciana. They get into a friendly argument and they run into the school. The bell rings for class starts at 13:00.


14:37
Physics lab ? Gilson tries to talk to Phil again about his dream ? Tatiana interrupts the conversation by eavesdropping and embarrassing him. They deny saying anything and the class laughs at Gilson ? the cover made him look even worse. Tatiana is the only one that truly heard what he said and decides to investigate things a bit further. She is the ?Gossip Girl? for the school. Gilson?s secret crush for Luciana was now in the wrong hands.

15:00
Marco is walking to and fro inside his office. He still did not receive the call and had left Marconi about a thousand messages already. He had gotten no reply back from him. He was summoned upstairs to speak with Papa Nicholaus ? the boss in his Law Company ? the Delta Complex. He states that he just needs to hear something from his contact to conclude his investigation. He promises a report by the next morning. Papa Nicholaus seems pleased ? weird grin. As he leaves his office, Marco decides not to wait any longer and to go to Marconi?s office in person, despite of his previous warnings for him not to do so.

17:50
Gilson is sitting right in front of Luciana. It is winter and the sun is going down in the horizon. He is talking to her about random things ? mostly about anime ? and he decides to spit out his feelings for her. He starts to say it timidly but is interrupted by this random guy who approaches Luciana, says hi and kisses her in front of him. Sunset shot. Luciana introduces her new boyfriend to him. He says he has to go somewhere ? in shock. She asks him what did he want to tell her and her just says nothing and rushes off.

18:00
Marco arrives at Marconi?s office. It is a short office building. Nothing to fancy, he thinks, very much like Marconi. He had been a very good colleague to him and a good source of information when it came to Medical Fraud, his specialty. Marco goes into the building, strangely desert. Marconi was known for been an odd ball but the whole office atmosphere in this building just creeped Marcos out. He goes up on the stairs and hits the buzzer. No sound ? he used to complaint o Marconi how loud that buzzer was and that tickles him off. He tries the handle on the gate: open! He goes in to the common area of the building that all the individual offices faced. He walked up to Marconi?s office. The door was slightly open. He pushed it ? it was all dark, the sun had already set. He touched the wall to turn the light switch on ? if Marconi was not there, he might have left a note or something stating where he was going next? Marco turned the lights on at the same time he felt something wet in his fingers. The fluorescent lights took a while to turn on and flashed for a couple of seconds, which made the whole scene a lot uglier/scarier. Right in front of him, sitting on his computer chair, was Marconi: his head falling back on the chair, his throat sliced open from one side to the other. Blood was everywhere. He ran as quickly as he could out of the building, dialing 911 on his cell phone.


ZERO HOURS
Gilson is downtown, still wearing his school uniform. He had gone to the hospital to stay with his grandfather who was very ill. It was his father?s turn to make him company and he had phoned him stating that he would be a couple of hours late and asking Gilson to cover for him. Gilson laughed by himself remembering the last couple of hours: the old man, even sick, did not stop talking for a minute. Retired as a doctor, he had lots of interesting stories to tell ? and he told them to everybody: doctors, nurses? he spared no one. It had been fun. Now, all he needed to do was take the bus and go home ? finally get that night of sleep he had dreamed of for the whole day. He waits for the bus at the stop looking at the river before him dividing the traffic lanes on the street. All of a sudden, he hears the noise of cars coming on the other side at full speed. A sport car appears followed by a black car that is pushing it against the river wall. The wall gives in and the car falls. He heard muffled screams coming from the inside of the falling car and the noise of the metal falling on the concrete bottom of the river. It took a minute and he saw and heard a very loud explosion. This all seemed unreal, as if he was watching a movie, and it all happened so fast as well. His mind was racing and instinctively he stepped back on the sidewalk not noticing a small depression on the ground, he lost his balance and fell. His head hit a bench (from the bus stop) while falling. He lost consciousness while looking at the flames coming from the concrete bottom of the river ahead of him.

This first book finishes with a shot of his unconscious body on the ground the fire coming out from the river ? seen behind the river wall ? and the sirens of ambulances coming to the rescue.

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Observation: This story happens in my city in Brazil. The above-mentioned river ? called Arrudas ? was canalized around 1950 and the sewer system of the city was connected to it. During the raining season, the concrete bed artificially created for the river would not be visible, and any pedestrians would notice the stench if walking on the sidewalks adjacent to the river. This part of the story, however, happens during the winter ? the dry season. Through recent construction work and renovation of the city, this river was once again canalized and changed into a subterranean river ? at least for the part of the city that this scene happens.

You might be able to see pictures of the scenery by searching for the city ?Belo Horizonte?, and the key words (in Portuguese): ?Rio Arrudas? and ?Praca da Estação).

[IMG]http://www.students.ic.unicamp.br/~970812/be310/Arrudas.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://www.uai.com.br/UAI/noticias/fotos/20080429071609525.jpg[/IMG]