Growing up.

[Lady Aura]

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER]So, I don't know if this thread will be moved or not. I become confused easily when things have to be in categories.

Anyway, I'll be starting high school in a few months, and I've realized how much I still need to mature, and how much I have matured since starting middle school. I know a lot of people always complain and say things like, "Be happy you're still young. Growing up and going into the real world is horrible." But really, life can't be that horrible, right?

I do know one thing that is a horrible part of growing up: you drift away from your friends. I've had many friends either move away, or switch schools, and it's an emotional ride for me. I'm sure everyone has had a friend leave, so most of you should know what I'm talking about.

So, the whole point of this thread is for me to ask you all what the real world is like. The world after high school: jobs, starting families, etc. Is it really as horrible as the people I know say it is? [/CENTER][/FONT]

[Darren]

[SIZE="1"]For the hundreds of thousands of families out there who don't have much to live on and work several jobs just to support their family and keep a roof over their heads: Yes, life is horrible.

But you for you: It sounds like you'll be fine. It's natural to worry about things like the future. I just graduated high school and am equally worried about starting college. I know once I graduate college, I'll be even more scared because I'll officially be in "it." High school and college are protective bubbles for the majority of people, so you're right to assume it will be different, but not necessarily bad.

And, in my opinion, it makes you pretty mature to already be worried about the future... I didn't start getting worried until I attended graduation my junior year.

And here's how I look at the friends issue: If they're your true friend, you won't lose touch. You can't know how close you are until you face the ultimate test. I had my best friend move away when I was a freshman. And until I could drive, I talked to him as much as possible on the phone. (And my parents took me to see him on school breaks or vice versa) Now that I can drive, I still make trips to hang out with him for a couple of days. And I'm not sure if it's true or not, but my family has always told me that you make the best friends in college... I'll get back to you on that one, but I think you'll be fine. Just have fun and don't be in too much hurry to grow up.

P.S. The immaturity follows you everywhere.[/SIZE]

[Rachmaninoff]

I?m not going to say that life will never be horrible, but at the same time I?m not going to say that it will be either. It will really depend on a lot of things so it could go either way. It?s a good idea to at least think about it to some degree since it will be important to develop good habits that will help you succeed at school and later on when you start working too.

It is hard to see friends move on. Sometimes you?re able to keep in touch, other times you?re not able to. However, just as drifting apart is hard, the fun of making new friends tends to make it easier to adjust.

Anyway, in general the real world is to some degree, what you make of it. Yes there are going to be things you can?t control, but at the same time your own hard work and determination can make all the difference. If you think it will be bad, it will be. But if you think it won?t be bad, it still might, but you?ll find yourself looking for ways to make things better. Make sense?

[eleanor]

[quote name='Lady Aura'][FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER]

So, the whole point of this thread is for me to ask you all what the real world is like. The world after high school: jobs, starting families, etc. Is it really as horrible as the people I know say it is? [/CENTER][/FONT][/QUOTE]

[font=trebuchet ms] After my high school graduation, my friend sent me this Facebook bumper sticker that said "Congratulations on the getting through the easiest part of life!". Lol. And when you think about it, it's pretty true.

Not that I've been in the "real world", but I think I got a taste of it when I got college decisions back. Sometimes you don't reap what you sow, life is unfair, deal with it, etc. etc.

For now I'm just glad I'm going to college for another 4 years of protection and living in a bubble. I'm sad to see all of my friends start new lives across the nation, but at the same time I'm excited to reinvent myself and start fresh, so to say.

I'm not really gung-ho about getting a job and working year-round, but hopefully I'll find a job I enjoy. [/font]

[Lady Aura]

[quote name='Darren'][SIZE="1"]Just have fun and don't be in too much hurry to grow up.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER]The only thing that I'm rushing with is driving. I nearly crashed into the side of the house when I was backing up my dad's truck. Haha. Oh, well. I'm still learning.[/CENTER][/FONT]

[Ravenstorture]

[quote name='Rachmaninoff']Anyway, in general the real world is to some degree, what you make of it. Yes there are going to be things you can?t control, but at the same time your own hard work and determination can make all the difference.[/QUOTE]

[color=darkgreen][font=garamond]What excellent advice. I find life is best and most comfortable when you put the most effort in. And it sounds like hard work but it really isn't - because it's like exercise, the more energy you spend, the more you have, and so I find getting out there and doing your best (how anime of me) makes life the most enjoyable.

*waves to all the people who haven't visited RL yet*

The only bad news I can pass on is that maturity is bought with mistakes - the bigger and more painful the better. ;) But it is always worth it in the end.

Highschool can be crap because you're forced in with a whole heap of people you wouldn't usually associate with - but this is a learning curve in itself.

[/font][/color]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]First rule of maturity: you know you've matured if you can acknowledge your own immaturity.

Anyway, I can't speak for after high school, but my personal philosophy is life is only as horrible as you let it be. If you go into life expecting it to suck, it will suck like a Hoover. I'm not saying to go through life wearing rose-colored glasses, but Earth is a pretty nice place if you don't focus too much on what's wrong with it.

As for friends, there's usually some way to keep in touch in this day and age. Be it eMail, phone, visits or even [strike]*shudder*[/strike] MySpace. For the ones you do end up losing contact with, it's sad but inevitable. However, wherever you are, there's always people around. It's almost hard not to make friends sometimes.

Unless you move to the mountains and become some freaky hermit. Then you can hang with the rabbits or something, I guess. Maybe they'll teach you some sweet Kung-Fu moves.[/FONT]

[Aaryanna]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][quote name='Darren'][SIZE="1"]For the hundreds of thousands of families out there who don't have much to live on and work several jobs just to support their family and keep a roof over their heads: Yes, life is horrible.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]Don't let this scare you either by the way. As one of those families (my mom is on disability) that doesn't necessarily make life horrible either. Sure I can't afford things like the new ps3 or a better computer and we often rely on charity to help make ends meet, but still I'm not unhappy at all.

Plus for some that means you qualify for aid for college that not only do you not have to pay it back, but it pretty much covers all your expenses. (I'm not in college yet by the way, I just checked into it for when I do go) Anyway...

The point is, much like Rach already stated, if you put everything you can into things, you'll get the most out of it. You'll have bad or unpleasant things that you can't control, but by finding all the positive things you'll find that life isn't as scary as people make it out to be.

I do miss friends that move on when we lose contact, but at the same time I love all the new friends I've made since then. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]It's natural to be worried about this stuff when you're at a transition in your life. For you, that's going from middle school to high school.

I don't know what kind of happy-bunny-land experiences everyone else had in high school, but based on my own personal experience of those four years, I'm not going to sugar coat it for you and tell you it's a walk in the park. However, even though high school may be rough in the beginning, it'll even itself out, and all work out in the end. Senior year will be a blast - I can definitely tell you that. =)

You'll lose friends. You'll make new ones. You'll keep the great ones. And even if you do lose touch with your middle school friends as you form new groups of friends, there's always the chance you'll reconnect, or end up in a club together (happened to me. Happened with my best friend ever, and now I have no idea what I would do without her.)

It's okay for that stuff to happen, and it's all normal. And like someone said, the ones you keep you know are your true friends, and I really mean that. Those are the people who will stay with you forever.


I'm pretty sure I felt scared by the real world when I was 14 like you, but you have to remember, you haven't had all the life experiences yet to cope with being an adult. No matter how book smart you are, emotional development and readiness to handle "adult" situations only comes with experience. And those experiences only happen with the passage of time. Your time in high school and hopefully college will help prepare you so you won't feel so overwhelmed by real life when it rolls around. (Especially college: It's like "trial" real life, where you can be independent and make all your mistakes so that you can learn).

I can't tell you what being out in the "real" world is like, because I'm still in college, but taking stock of myself right now, I don't think it'll be all that scary.


And if you're thinking about this stuff now, I know you'll be fine. *hug*[/color]

[Lady Aura]

[quote name='MistressRoxie'][color=#9933ff]

And if you're thinking about this stuff now, I know you'll be fine. *hug*[/color][/QUOTE]

[CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]I asked my dad about this. He said the exact same thing, and he said that since my GPA is 3.80 (if that B in science was an A, I would've had a 4.0), I shouldn't have a problem at all in high school.[/FONT][/CENTER]

[Whiteblaze]

[FONT="Arial"]Lady Aura, what they mean by life is horrible is that in what people call “the real world” you are responsible for your own wellbeing, up keep, and all that implies. Unless someone is going to continue taking care of you for the rest of your life, it is up to you to pay your rent/mortgage, food, bills, transportation, medical expenses, vacation etc… etc… There is no more depending on mom or dad, sister, brother or whoever (unless that’s just the circumstance) to take care of you. This is what being grown up is all about.

The point where you are now in life is relatively simple. I don’t know your life situation, but to make my point, all you have to do right now is go to school. That’s mostly likely your biggest task right now. You don’t have to worry about paying for living expenses and other things that come with not being under your parents’ umbrella.

At some point I guess people get a slap in the face and realize that one day they’ll be out there doing everything their parents have done for them since the day they were born (with whatever level of success). I think it hits some people a little harder and more sudden because they don’t think about that until that time comes. And for others it’s a more gradual thing. After high school you go to college or you get a job. Whichever choice you make, you will find yourself nudged out of the safety of the nest.

High School is sort of like the last countdown to being at the threshold (college)between mom and dad’s nest and the “real world”. It’s really the last of what I would consider truly carefree days. I remember back when I was in high school and how I hated doing the redundant stuff some of my teachers handed out to us. Homework/busywork was boring, but it was so much simpler to go to school, go to each class, learn, do a bit of class work, take a test or quiz if need be, and go home and do my homework and other high school related activities. Outside of school organizations/clubs and say maybe chores around the house at home, the rest of my time was spent doing purely whatever I wanted.

Now that I am a junior in college approaching my first semester of nursing school, my days are spent mostly doing school related things. In fact, I haven’t acknowledged until recently that a lot of aspects of my life are now being measured with the “how beneficial is this is to my success” stick. I now spend more time and energy (and oh boy money) on school than I EVER have (which is expected). I am also making the choice to spend as much time as I do on school. I’m here for a reason and I have a goal to surpass. High School was such a breeze compared to what I’m doing now. The main reason is that my high school experience does not determine the rest of my life the way college is/will. You do badly in high school it’s to some extent fixable. Do bad in college and it’s not quite as fixable, if at all. So much more is riding on your four years in college is basically my point here.

Now, something I personally want to say to you about starting high school is that these will most likely be the last of your truly carefree years and being a teenager so ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN! I mean it. At the end you'll be glad you're done, but have fun while you're there.

Make friends, join school clubs/organizations, get involved in your community or city by volunteering, if you don’t already, get immersed in some hobby you really love, if you like sports than try out for the team. Just have fun. All of this will only help your college application anyways. I mean yes there may be some things you may not like about in high school, but there’ll be a lot that you’ll love. Another thing, don’t forget to do your best academically because this still has a lot of influence on things like scholarships and where you’re accepted for college. Also, save yourself some agony and begin researching college majors and professions NOW!!!! You may think it a bit too early, but really this will give you time to look at areas of interest and get good knowledge of them. It’s not good to wait until the end of senior year to start thinking of a major. I know people do change their majors even while in college, but perhaps the area you choose will be close to the one you really want to pursue if you have an idea coming in.

As for friends drifting apart; I will tell you that you are going to befriend people wherever you go so try not to worry too much about that. But do try to keep in touch with at least one or two good friends that you’ve known for a long time. There’s nothing like a person who you’ve share many memories and good times with. But for new friends you never know when something good might be is coming down the pike.

You ask if the world after high school is as bad as the people you know say it is. Well, it can be and it may not necessarily be. You can’t be an optimistic nut or a pessimistic fool. I personally am a positive person by nature so I have the tendency to plow forward when others say to give up or quit. I know life can be rough, but I simply refuse to believe that everything is so impossible in this world. How will you know if something can be done or not if you haven’t at least tried?[/FONT]

[Darren]

[quote name='Aaryanna'][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]Plus for some that means you qualify for aid for college that not only do you not have to pay it back, but it pretty much covers all your expenses. (I'm not in college yet by the way, I just checked into it for when I do go) Anyway...[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
I know... I hate you. :D
Sometimes I wish that my family wasn't as well off as we are. I got a decent scholarship to college, but nothing that keeps me from paying off student loans until I'm 30. Truth is, when it comes to middle-class and college, life sucks unless you're a genius.

But since that's besides the point, I'll just refer to Rach: (Again... He always gives the best advice, darn) It is what you make it. And again, you shouldn't worry about the future. Be aware of it, but for now, you should live in the "now." High school is only 4 years and they go by fast if you don't pay attention.

[Whiteblaze]

[FONT="Arial"]Another thing I want to add is that it's not really where you go to college, but how you get the school you will attend, the government, and whoever else (scholarships, grants, loans whatever) to pay for it. It's great to getting in, but you need the money to pay for it.

Lady Aura, here are some ways to accomplish this that come from my own experience:

To get those school funded 4-year scholarships (which is some of the best stuff!) for incoming freshman you'll need to meet certain requirements. Different schools have different criteria. Generally theses scholarships are given according to a students:

1. GPA/Class Rank
2. SAT and/or ACT scores
3. Credit Hours taken (usually 15 is the minimum)
4. How soon after high school you started college (No more than 12 months)

My university offers this scholarship at three levels and even some for transfers. They don't offer full ride scholaships, but the best one is $10,000 a year for four years. That's $40,000. That may not be a lot considering the cost of attending some schools, but 40k is still a lot of money you don't have to pay. It wouldn't cover everything, but it would really be helping me out if I was receiving this award , instead of being stressed out about coming up with the money I need to finish school. My family is not well off, but yet make too much to qualify for grants. I mostly qualify for loans, but I am happy (damn happy) to get them because I cannot pay for school otherwise.

A different 4-year scholarship with different criteria was offered when I was an incoming freshman that offered less money. But it still it would have helped. I missed getting it by three Class Rank Percentile points. However someone less studious and not as serious about school could get it because they come from a small and /or less competitive high school. Some things may seem unfair, but you have to remember people are only concerned about what they see on paper a lot of the time. It doesn't matter how deserving you are, you must meet the criteria.

Okay, I'm starting to ramble. ^^ So other ways to get money are major related scholarships, regular scholarships for anyone (private scholarships).

Grants if you qualify.

And of course there are loans. I say don't be afraid to take out loans; just make sure that you are doing so wisely and will be able to pay them back. The most important thing is you finishing your degree, however you pay for it.

[quote name='Lunox'][font=trebuchet ms]
For now I'm just glad I'm going to college for another 4 years of protection and living in a bubble. I'm sad to see all of my friends start new lives across the nation, but at the same time I'm excited to reinvent myself and start fresh, so to say.

I'm not really gung-ho about getting a job and working year-round, but hopefully I'll find a job I enjoy. [/font][/QUOTE]

From my experience and that of others I know I'd say that college takes you out of that protective bubble. You may be in it a short while (say perhaps freshman year), but at some point you have to start thinking about things like resumes, internships, work experience, leadership experience, whether or not your major will lead you to the career you want. And you will definitely need to join some professional organizations like those associated with your area of concentration. Handling all of these things while at the same time keeping your grades up and everything will be your first taste of "the real world" as people like to call it.[/FONT]

[randomuser83]

From my life experience college is where you will begin to discover yourself. With more responsiblity the more freedom you will get. Its with this freedom that you will start to know what you like and dont like to do because you are the sole decsion maker. Once you finish college life comes at you fast. You no longer worry about school, papers, test or homework. You worry about were you are going to live what you are gonna do and if you want to be where you are. Adult life is harder because no one holds your hand and makes sure you dont fail. Life is hard because of all the choices but thats also why adult life is great.

[SunfallE]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][quote name='Lady Aura;816273][FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER]So, I don't know if this thread will be moved or not. I become confused easily when things have to be in categories.[/CENTER][/FONT][/QUOTE]No need to worry about that. It's easy for us to move something if needed. ^_~[quote name='Lady Aura'][FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER] I know a lot of people always complain and say things like, "Be happy you're still young. Growing up and going into the real world is horrible." But really, life can't be that horrible, right? [/CENTER'][/FONT][/quote]In all honesty, about the only real difference I noticed was that the time you have for doing fun things is a lot less on account of the responsibilities you take on as an adult. The trick, for me that is, to staying happy has always been to make sure I don't lose sight of having fun.

The only thing that has made life horrible, other than genuine bad times, is not setting aside time for doing things that I enjoy. I've found that even something as simple as having time to read a book I like is enough to keep me happy.

So no, it's not as horrible as people like to make out because you have a limited ability to control it. The saying that life is what you make of it really is true because it's oh so easy to see all the negative things and overlook all the simple yet positive things that you enjoy. Keep an attitude of finding things you like along side the being responsible side and you'll do fine. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Whiteblaze]

[FONT="Arial"][quote name='SunfallE'][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]No need to worry about that. It's easy for us to move something if needed. ^_~In all honesty, about the only real difference I noticed was that the time you have for doing fun things is a lot less on account of the responsibilities you take on as an adult. The trick, for me that is, to staying happy has always been to make sure I don't lose sight of having fun.

The only thing that has made life horrible, other than genuine bad times, is not setting aside time for doing things that I enjoy. I've found that even something as simple as having time to read a book I like is enough to keep me happy.

So no, it's not as horrible as people like to make out because you have a limited ability to control it. The saying that life is what you make of it really is true because it's oh so easy to see all the negative things and overlook all the simple yet positive things that you enjoy. Keep an attitude of finding things you like along side the being responsible side and you'll do fine. [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Ah, now that's the best advice right there. ^_^

Finally, someone came along with the right amount of life experience. Giving advice from experience is a little hard when you're just a few steps ahead of someone.[/FONT]

[Aberinkula]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Well I'm 14, bordering 15, but I still have a pretty good idea about life. It's long, and it's never, as a whole, fun. My life was pretty fun up until 7th grade, than the crap hit the fan. But behind all the sadness, lies happiness. And as long as you're still in tune with that, you'll be fine. Right now I still have to deal with my ex-girlfriend and my best friend . My ex flipped out cause she's number 3 on my Myspace top. And y best friend is mad at me cause supposedly, I'm gay and I should stop living people's lives and live my own. which is none of his business.

But through it all, there's' still that happiness, a glimmer of hope in the eye of sorrow. So people who want to end their life should realize it's never hopeless.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

I'm only 13, but I still worry about this kind of stuff. But since it's unusual for me to worry over life, I quickly brush off my fears and go read or doodle. Anyway, whatever happens will happen. My motto : Don't care what others think and live life so that your last words are "I regret nothing".

[Ravenstorture]

[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]It's long[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=darkgreen][font=garamond]I completely disagree with that. It's not long - it gets faster and faster the older you get, and before long you're going to start to feel it's rather short. [/font][/color]

[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]...and it's never, as a whole, fun. [/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=darkgreen][font=garamond]I disagree again... you probably just haven't experienced it yet, but it can happen... trust me. [/font][/color]

[quote name='chibi-master']My motto : Don't care what others think and live life so that your last words are "I regret nothing".[/QUOTE]

[color=darkgreen][font=garamond]Great advice, I have something to add: no matter how badly you mess stuff up, if you like who you have become through it all - you will regret nothing. So don't be afraid of making mistakes, as long as you grow as a result of them. [/font][/color]

[Darren]

[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Well I'm 14, bordering 15, but I still have a pretty good idea about life. It's long, and it's never, as a whole, fun. My life was pretty fun up until 7th grade, than the crap hit the fan. But behind all the sadness, lies happiness. And as long as you're still in tune with that, you'll be fine. Right now I still have to deal with my ex-girlfriend and my best friend . My ex flipped out cause she's number 3 on my Myspace top. And y best friend is mad at me cause supposedly, I'm gay and I should stop living people's lives and live my own. which is none of his business.

But through it all, there's' still that happiness, a glimmer of hope in the eye of sorrow. So people who want to end their life should realize it's never hopeless.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[SIZE="1"]Please. That's not life, Prem. It's Jr. High drama. Sure, drama continues throughout everyone's life, but it's up to you to decide how mature you want that drama to be and how you want to handle it, if at all. If that's your grasp on life, then I'll be the first to say that your idea is WAY wrong. Besides, I believe the question was centered more on the financial aspects of an adult and if someone could live comfortably rather than the drama aspect.

But some advice for you: if she's your ex, she shouldn't even be on your Myspace top, haha, just kidding. But you shouldn't care that she cares, and if it's a big deal, then let her brood about it. As far as your best friend: If you're living other people's lives, then he gave you good advice. But I don't see how that relates to your sexual orientation... Or how suicide relates to this topic...

But just so I stay on topic here, Lady Aura, that is not life. (At least not the general focus of life) And I'm sure that since you're going to be a freshman, you already knew that.[/SIZE]

[Aberinkula]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]I was using that as an example to explain that behind all the bad things in life is happiness, Darren. Sorry guys if I didn't clear that up to well :animeswea

[QUOTE]But I don't see how that relates to your sexual orientation... Or how suicide relates to this topic...[/QUOTE]

lol, you have no idea. She thinks I'm using me being gay as an excuse not to date her. which is funny, considering it's no excuse. As to life being short, when you think about it, it iis one of the longest things you'll ever have. And as for suicide, that just came up. Haha, I'm weird :animesigh

But to me, one of the hardest things in life is leaving the things you love, i.e. you're friends. I mean, it may be hard, but you have to get over it sometime in your life. And who knows maybe you'll end up seeing those friends again. I just hope I'll be ssuccesful enough so I can see them in the future. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[randomuser83]

Well if you grow apart thats okay but you dont have to give up your friends. Friendships like life takes hard work. Growing up you gain more responsiblity but more freedom as well. Dont let life get you down because its actually what you make of it.

[Ol' Fighter]

Life after high school is the life I'm in now and I think I can really hit a "homer" here. Well currently I'm a teen dad well soon to be anyway and I'm living the life I said I would a few years ago. I have a really good job besides my dickheaded boss that pays fairly well, I'm on my way to college this year and majoring in pre-med and I've managed to somehow stay together with my long time childhood friend whom is soon to be, well hopefully anyway, my wife, but not to soon, but to continue life is pretty good after high school if you from the get-go make it good and don't, well atleast try to 'F' it up or let anyone or anything and that's pretty much the one basic rule to remeber, YOU CONRTOL YOUR LIFE AND ACTIONS. Geez, I sound like my old teacher.