Lady Aura Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]About a week ago, my relationship with my boyfriend of almost half a year ended. The day after, he started dating a girl who I thought was my friend, and I trusted her. I just need advice to get over him. It's hard for me because we planned our life together after high school. Marriage, a few kids, the normal life. I admit that I've made mistakes in our relationship, and I wish I could go back and fix those mistakes. It's really hard not to think about him and her together. I haven't eaten much (which is horrible for me because I'm an extremely skinny girl) and I get 3-4 hours of sleep every night. I feel really empty. Anyone have any advice for me?[/FONT][/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Well dear god you're a little young for all this heartbreak. You should definitely never think that far ahead in life when you're as young as you are. Not to talk down to you, but planning marriage at your stage of development is unwise and as you've discovered, is a recipe for utter heartbreak. It's just not a wise thing to do. Better to live each day as you can, and not think of the future when you're as young as you are. Just remember, you're not made of glass unless you really want to be. There are plenty of humans in the world more worthy of your love. If he loves your friend and she loves him back, just know that it probably has very little to do with you, as harsh as that sounds. And strictly speaking, you'll definitely get over it. You can be the adult in the situation and not dwell on past mistakes. Regrets will do nothing for you. If she's still your friend, or wants to be kind to you, let her. I'm pretty sure she'll understand how awkward things are for you. And knowing and acknowledging that you made mistakes makes you a better person than you would've been otherwise. You need to calm down, find something relaxing to do, and force yourself to eat if you must. Sleep is also important for dealing with stress, so use any means necessary to get it. 9 hours should be enough for someone your age. You'll be stronger for this suffering. But if you still feel this way in six weeks, then talk to someone about it. That's typically the right amount of time. Just remember that running into someone else's arms is not going to make you feel better in the long run. Don't rebound on someone who totally isn't worth your while. And just remember that your heart might be temporarily dead, but it can resurrect when you're ready for it to.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Well dear god you're a little young for all this heartbreak. You should definitely never think that far ahead in life when you're as young as you are.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] What she said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [COLOR=#656446][FONT="Georgia"]I could tell you "There's life after love," or something that's been told one too many times to girls like us. We know it's true, but we've given so much to something that didn't turn out the way we expected that we're drained of [i]everything[/i]. Empty, as you've said. All our plans for the future, the kids we've imagined, the houses we've built in our heads *poof!* gone. When you find yourself thinking back on the things you did wrong and the other ways you could have dealt with the situation, STOP. Stop having regrets because there's nothing you can do now that can take back all that's said and done. Stop thinking back on the relationship because you'll only make yourself feel sad. Stop thinking about the "good ol' days" because you'll only make yourself feel wistful. [b]You are responsible for your own feelings.[/b] Remember that. If you feel awful, it's because you choose to feel awful. The good thing about it is that you still have a [i]choice[/i]. Choose to be happy. Make a conscious effort to be happy, to find happiness and surround yourself with it. If you find yourself falling back, exercise your right to choose. And eventually, with enough practice, you'll automatically find happiness in everything. And you'll find out that, hey, the emptiness is gone. The void that was once there will be filled with other happy memories. Yep, it sounds corny, but it's true. Think about it this way: what else could fill the void left by happiness lost than happiness itself? So create your own happiness. There's loads of reasons to smile and the only thing you need to do is look.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [SIZE=1]People used to break up with me all the time, so what I would do is follow Lucy's advice; create your own happiness. When you're with a group of people (or just one person) who stab you in the back, it's important to have something else to turn to. If you have more than one thing going for you, you can just turn around and walk to that with a big grin on your face. If you're feeling angry, you could always find someone better to rub it in their face. Though I wouldn't actually recommend that because it's quite spiteful. One of the important things to remember is nothing lasts forever, including feeling sad. You just have to sit back and smile at all the bad things, then they don't seem too bad anymore. It's difficult but it works and you'll find yourself not caring about it anymore.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]While you CAN be happy on your own without the love of another, I'd suggest that you not live on false hopes. That he'll get back together with you, that things will change and always be better than this. Because given your age and the way you've already given away your heart so quickly, if you keep doing it, you'll be making several more threads in this vein in the future. Not that I'm suggesting it's all inevitable. You can control your own life and not have it depend solely on the actions of the people around you that happen to be cruel. But don't live on illusions, they're not very nourishing.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberinkula Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [SIZE="1"][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]Surprised this thread wasn't started by me for a change. But in all seriousness, you are young, you'll find someone else out there. I mean, I know I'm going to be 15 next month, and to be honest I think I'm in love with my best friend. As for the depression, just be wtih your friends for a while, that always helps me. In fact, right now I'm sort in one of those depression things cause of my ex telling me she likes my friend, and the fact that I like him too (and a bunch of various other things). And also he's wicked mad at me, which hurts... but my friends are helping me, tomorrow I'm suposed to go somewhere with my other best friend and if I go, I'm sure it will keep my mind off of him. But something you shouldn't do: is blame yourself, that will just make matters worse. Usually the first thing I would do was blame myself, but I didn't this time and it doesn't bother me so much. Also, I agree with Lucy on everything said. And take Raiha's advice, don't live on false hope. A few days ago I started doing that and believe me, it just makes the wanting worse. Besides, it's the summer, live it up![/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLarge Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [SIZE=1]Firebomb that motherf***er's house. You'll feel better. All kidding aside, and not meaning to sound patronising at all, but you're probably a little young to be looking that far ahead, especially after only half a year of being together. I have friends who have been in two or three year relationships and then broken up, and I don't think any of them were ever planning marriage. Just try as hard as you can not to look back on the whole thing, and if you do, try and focus on his bad qualities. I had a girlfriend who split with me and almost immediately ran into the arms of a friend of mine, so I looked back and thought about some of the sucky stuff she'd put me through, and it helped! Also, try not to blame yourself for everything that may or may not have gone "wrong" in your relationship - you're bound to feel as if it was your fault if you were on the receiving end, but remember that it takes two people to screw up relationships. So I'm not going to bombard you with cliches like "there's plenty more fish in the sea," but all I will say is this: it's not the end of the world. You'll move on and eventually find someone you're much happier with - it could take a while, but believe me when I say it will happen. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunfallE Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 [COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"]You're going to hear this a lot, but you are[I] way[/I] too young to be worrying over or planning marriage at this stage. The others have already covered it pretty well, but I'd also say it's more important to focus on school and growing up a bit more first. Once you're a little older you'll have a better idea of what you really want from life, you just might be surprised to find that marriage isn't all that high of a priority after all. So just give it time and don't go rushing into something else. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberinkula Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]For me, I don't want to get married. In all honesty it hardly means anything. It's not some vows, or a ring that proves love, it's what you do that proves it. But than again I can't get married because gay marriage isn't legal here in New York. Yeah I know, I could go to a different state, but why the trouble? Yeah, so don't plan too far ahead when you're this young, I never think that far ahead when I'm in a relationship myself. Than again who am I to talk, just look at my past few threads on this subject >_>[/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Aura Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]A few people that I talked to said the exact same thing. My neighbor recently bought me a few Final Fantasy game to keep my mind off him.[/FONT][/CENTER] [quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]And knowing and acknowledging that you made mistakes makes you a better person than you would've been otherwise. You need to calm down, find something relaxing to do, and force yourself to eat if you must. Sleep is also important for dealing with stress, so use any means necessary to get it. 9 hours should be enough for someone your age. You'll be stronger for this suffering. But if you still feel this way in six weeks, then talk to someone about it. That's typically the right amount of time.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]Yeah, I have more-than-friend affection towards a few girls that I know. I can't get married to them either because I'm not sure if gay marriage is legal in Nevada. Although, I'm not sure if I want to really get married to a man. Girls are much more easier to handle, in my opinion.[/FONT][/CENTER] [quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]But than again I can't get married because gay marriage isn't legal here in New York. [/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='DeLarge'][SIZE=1]Firebomb that motherf***er's house. You'll feel better.[/SIZE][/QUOTE] What he said. Though I might not,(MIGHT), that just sounds appealing to me because I'm usually a person who doesn't want to let the people who cross me live to tell the tale. Aaanyway, forget about 'im! You can obviously do better than a loser guy that hooks up with a "friend". Anyone can. So go play your videogame and smile for your pals here at OB!:animesmil Yeah, like that there smiley! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Aura Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]'Ello there, smiley. I love you~! :D But thanks, everyone who posted. I feel a lot better than I did before I started this thread.[/FONT][/CENTER] [quote name='chibi-master'] Aaanyway, forget about 'im! You can obviously do better than a loser guy that hooks up with a "friend". Anyone can. So go play your videogame and smile for your pals here at OB!:animesmil Yeah, like that there smiley![/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][quote name='Lady Aura'][CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]But thanks, everyone who posted. I feel a lot better than I did before I started this thread.[/FONT][/CENTER][/QUOTE]That's good because being depressed over something like that when you're in the age of books, video games and growing up is not the time to be upset over silly boys. XP Seriously. o_O Just have fun and worry about that stuff later. It's not worth the fuss. >_> At least that's what I think and I'm only a few years older than you since I'm 16... Just worrying over driving a car is more than enough for me. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Aura Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Aaryanna'][COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]That's good because being depressed over something like that when you're in the age of books, video games and growing up is not the time to be upset over silly boys. XP [/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE] [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]Haha. Final Fantasy and writing stories is usually the only thing that cheers me up. I don't think I'll ever outgrow the video game stage of my life.[/FONT][/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Lady Aura'][CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]Haha. Final Fantasy and writing stories is usually the only thing that cheers me up. I don't think I'll ever outgrow the video game stage of my life.[/FONT][/CENTER][/QUOTE] [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]As someone going on 23 this next year, I can safely say that it's fine if you don't. In fact it's perfectly normal and most guys in my age group think it's sexy... Oh yes, and before people think "you're too young to know that," when I did my civic duty and served on a jury, a 46 year old mother of two stayed up late ever night playing Guild Wars. And another 50 year old woman was an utter WoW addict, in the same jury. We were all late one morning because we were up late the night before farming.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [color=#656446][FONT="Georgia"]Once again, Squenix saves the day! *cue in Final Fantasy victory theme* Ah, one more thing. Get a manicure. Or a pedicure. Or a new haircut. Or hell, a round of therapeutic shopping. See how much free time you have now?[/FONT][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Lucy'][color=#656446][FONT="Georgia"]Ah, one more thing. Get a manicure. Or a pedicure. Or a new haircut. Or hell, a round of therapeutic shopping.[/FONT][/color][/QUOTE] Or a puppy!!! Those always bring bliss to people...when you're not cleaning up their poop...:animeswea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Aura Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='chibi-master']Or a puppy!!! Those always bring bliss to people...when you're not cleaning up their poop...:animeswea[/QUOTE] [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]My cat, Shadow, recently had a litter. They're so cute, all five of them. They're pure black, like their mom. I get those girl moments where I just wanna hug them like there's no tomorrow.[/FONT][/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Lady Aura'][CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]My cat, Shadow, recently had a litter. They're so cute, all five of them. They're pure black, like their mom. I get those girl moments where I just wanna hug them like there's no tomorrow.[/FONT][/CENTER][/QUOTE] Well, I guess you're all set then! And by the way, those aren't girl moments, silly! Those are EVERYBODY moments!*SQUEEE!* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Lady Aura][CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]My cat, Shadow, recently had a litter....[/FONT'][/CENTER][/quote] [FONT=Arial]My cat, Shadow, wouldn't [I]stop[/I] having litters. :p Incidentally, she typically had five cute little fluffballs, and her older sister typically had five big strong bruisers. And they both favored my room as their ideal nesting environment. It's fun being a kitty godfather. (^_^)[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kre Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Well, glad to see you're feeling better and that the people at OB helped ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Aura Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 [quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]My cat, Shadow, wouldn't [I]stop[/I] having litters. :p Incidentally, she typically had five cute little fluffballs, and her older sister typically had five big strong bruisers. And they both favored my room as their ideal nesting environment. It's fun being a kitty godfather. (^_^)[/FONT][/QUOTE] [CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]My cat wouldn't stop, either. This is like her... fifth or sixth litter in the three years that I've had her.[/FONT][/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomuser83 Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 If your really ready to move on then you can accept his choice. The easiest way to move on is to start doing the things you loved in the past. Only by being yourself will you get over somebody that didnt appreciate you. I know it doesnt really help but I try to be indifferent to them becuase it realy means you got over them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstorture Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 [quote name='Lady Aura'][CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]It's hard for me because we planned our life together after high school. Marriage, a few kids, the normal life.[/FONT][/CENTER][/QUOTE] [color=darkgreen][font=garamond]HA! I did that when I was your age, (as some of you may remember...) then we broke up and I did it AGAIN with the next guy. Now I'm into my third relationship (and only my third) I'm starting to realise that I have no idea what is going to happen. But it took me six years to learn! I am still a complete and utter mess when it comes to breakups... I've been single for about a week since I was 14. So I really can't give you any advice on this particular subject... if you work it out, please let me know! [/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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