Star Wars: The Clone Wars

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Well it's about time.

I watched this film in matinee [probably proving my prescience] and discovered that while it was worth the 6 dollars I had forked over, it would not have been worth the 10 that would've been charged to me otherwise.

It was animated so badly in some places that I seriously felt like whoever had been in charge of Twi'lek seductiveness and voluptuousity had completely phoned it in. As we all know, Jabba the Hutt likes his slave girls sexy and curvy. The ones in the movies were jerky and uncoordinated and looked like dancing stick figures.

However the dialogue, while painful in many places, was not in fact so painful as to be distracting as me and my friend contented ourselves by laughing in highly inappropriate places. Loud and long. Helped that the theater was mostly devoid of humans. And even if the words were no speaky good, at least there were no real humans to torture us to death with bad acting. It's pretty sad that I was happy about that actually....

Perhaps the funniest moment was when it was revealed that Jabba the Hutt referred to his son as "Punky Muffin." An actual employee heard us from outside and came in to shush us.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]I'm genuinely struggling for words writing this having got back from the late showing in my local cinema. The Clone Wars is a film so bad, so unrepentantly obvious in it's plugging of an equally bad TV series to come that I am consoled only by the fact that one day George Lucas will die.

I suppose I could sit here and try to find the words the describe what disgusts me about this film, but I doubt I could ever find the virulence to do my anger justice. Part of it likely comes from the fact watching Star Wars as a child with my father for the first time makes up some of my earliest and most precious memories, and now as a man myself I am forced to watch something that was once so magical to me be cast down into wretchedness for the sake of making it's exorbitantly wealthy creator even richer.

It is pitiable that George Lucas has done this, that a man who's independence thirty years ago made his films so unique, so different and appealing. Perhaps it's that the world is a smaller place and the facets of different cultures which Lucas weaved together to form the mythos of Star Wars are more well-known, making them seem less significant, less unique overall. I doubt it, but then as I child, I knew nothing of the samurai or Japan, nor had I ever watched science fiction shows, where as the situation is different now.

What's worse is that Star Wars is certainly still capable of entertaining. It's Expanded Universe which extends 5,000 years before Episode I to a hundred years after Episode VI is filled with vivid and wonderful adventures, fascinating and endearing characters, and most importantly dialogue which does not make one sigh with embarrassment. So why, WHY are forced to watch the tired journeys of the same now uninspiring individuals over and over again ?

I hope, no, pray that Lucas will learn from the Clone Wars and realise that his vision of what "Star Wars" is has faded, or rather expanded to beyond himself as it's sole story-teller. I hope he realises the more he tries to shoe-horn his own limited ideas into the series the more he fails and damages it because he is out-of-touch and unwilling to accommodate the stories of other writes in his company's employ.

This won't happen of course, the hundred episodes of The Clone Wars TV series will be watched by children who will have never had the chance to know what Star Wars was like before Lucas went mad, and they will be thrilled by Saturday-morning-cartoon quality characters in the series which created Darth Vader. They will be wowed by a series which priorities style over substance that was once overflowing with both. In the end, it is simply saddening. [/SIZE]

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]See? I tried to tell you?

Painkillers and dopamine injected into the base of the skull before this movie or you'll grind your teeth down to stubs.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I don't care what anyone says. Ziro the Hutt singlehandedly saved this movie.

The rest was incredibly meh, but me and the people I went with literally cracked up every time he opened his mouth.

I keep thinking they should make a decent attempt at this kind of thing with the original trilogy. I mean sure, the other Clone Wars series was pretty neat. The problem is that a lot (and I mean a [I]lot[/I]) of fans are pretty dissatisfied with the Prequels and it doesn't help that Lucas is shoving them down our throats like this. Fill in the gap between A New Hope and the Empire Strikes Back. There's plenty of room there to animate some pretty neat stuff. Besides. Mark Hamill is a voice actor these days. If he's willing, there shouldn't be anything keeping him from reprising his role as Luke Skywalker.

It's something to think about, Lucas. If you're going to milk the franchise, at least milk the popular part.

EDIT: Also, there was an appalling lack of Grievous. He was mentioned twice and was on screen for about five seconds. It's as if they were taunting me. Of course, I'm a lot more lenient on this movie. Probably because neither mine nor anyone else's money was spent on my viewing of it.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]See? I tried to tell you?

Painkillers and dopamine injected into the base of the skull before this movie or you'll grind your teeth down to stubs.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[CENTER][SIZE="1"][IMG]http://www.icanhasforce.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/star-wars-george-lucas-carbonite-apology-accepted.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]
Seemed appropriate.[/SIZE]