Writing Danddo Seri [Naruto Spoilers]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[CENTER][I][B][COLOR="Red"]Danddo Seri is a fictional character. You could use my character if you wish. Only if you give me credit.[/COLOR][/B][/I]

[B][I][U][COLOR="Blue"]If any artist want to draw this fan fiction or draw a scene from it they can. If you only credit me.[/COLOR][/U][/I][/B]

[U][I][B]Chapter 1
Danddo Seri [/B][/I][/U]

Once in the Shinobi world was a Royal village that no one knows anymore the name of the village. Only few know the village's name was. Fourth Hogake, Jiraya & their two unnamed teammates.

In this unnamed village there was Royal Family called Seri. King Gaddo, Queen Junddo and two brothers. The older brother named is Danddo. His litte brother's named is Natto. Seri Clan rival was Kaguya Clan. After the war.

Orochimaru kidnaped and cursed Danddo. After the war Orochimaru saw his old friend's team, Team Jiraya. Orochimaru thinking to himself Danddo could be good Ninja if he was training with the best in Konoha. So Orochimaru pushed Danddo threw the burning village to let the young Minato saw him. Minato asked, "Jiraya could we take that boy back home with us?" Jiraya saw Danddo and told Minato yes we shall.

At the Leaf village. Nanito Namikaze the father of Minato. Nanito saw Danddo he was shocked how Danddo's face kinda similar to his son Minato. Nanito asked, "Jiraya if he could adopted Danddo." Jiraya replied, "I would let yet adopted him but it isn't my job. That is the job of the Third."

Then at the Hogake's mansion. The Third said, "sure Danddo can be adopted to Namikaze Clan. So Nanito and Danddo went back to Namikaze's home. He told his family from this moment on Danddo is our other step-son and Minato's step-brother.[/CENTER]

[Drizzt Do'urden]

I had this problem when I started my unfinished story on the boards. A big turn off for people reading it was my spelling/grammar. I can see why; a big help to me was writing my post in Microsoft word first, spell checking it, and copy and pasting it in the thread.

I'm not sure if Danddo is a fictional character or not, but I'm interested in seeing where you're going with it. I'll keep up with your story, just think about trying what I said to keep the spelling mistakes down.

[Guest Kaimaster]

[CENTER]
[B][I][U]Chapter 2
Danddo Seri’s friends[/U][/I][/B]

Few years later Now Minato and Danddo are both 10 years old. When Minato and Danddo are sleep on bunked beds. Minato draw on Danddo’s face with a marker. When Danddo woke up. Minato went back to bed and act like he’s sleeping. Minato have one eye slightly open to see what Danddo’s reaction would be like. Danddo saw what happen. Danddo half of a smile and laugh at himself. In a flash Minato was hanging from the ceiling by his underwear. Minato said, “You can’t trick the Trickster.” Danddo said, "Meet the new king kid." Nanito giggle a bit. Nanito was thinking I'd never ever saw some one pranked Minato before. Nanito pull Minato down from the ceiling.

Now Danddo went to the Ninja Academy and his teacher was Mitokado Homura. Danddo was sign with Dan-sensai, Suzume Namida and Kurenai. When Tsunade comes a visit Dan. Danddo start having a puppy crush on Tsunade. Danddo’s role model is Dan so much he change his hair style from Namikaze hair style to Dan’s hair style.

Danddo went to Dan’s house. Dan opened the door and Dan wanted to learn what Danddo could do. What was his blood line was. Then Hatake Sakumo said, “Dan The Third Hogake wants to speak to you now.” Dan said, “Danddo sit in my office and you can sit in my chair.” After Dan left his home. Tsunade went to a visit with her boyfriend. So she just walked in and saw Dan’s hairstyle sitting at Dan’s desk in Dan's office. Tsunade jumped in the Dan’s chair and also on Danddo’s lap with her eyes close. Tsunade kissing Danddo without knowing it is Danddo that who she's kissing. When Dan came back he saw Tsunade kissing Danddo. Dan started to laugh. Tsunade and Danddo was both bushing. Tsunade ran out of there like a bullet.

[CENTER][I][B][U]Chapter 3
Naruto’s birth & Minato’s Death[/U][/B][/I]

Time skip now. Minato became the Fourth Hogake after the Third Hogake retired. Minato is married to Uzumaki Kushina. They had baby Naruto.

While Danddo is in blackoops under Danzou. Tsunade and Shizune are sad after the death of Dan and Nawaki. They stay for Danddo. When Danzou hear about a clan that creates the Legendry beast from starch. Danzou doesn’t know what the clan’s name is. That clan saw how powerful that Danddo was so they ninjanaped him and sealed the most powerful of the legendry beast. They called the Ten Tailed wolf. Then they let Danddo go and but they made Nine Tailed Fox to follow Danddo back to his village.

The ninjas saw this in creditable and fright beast chasing Danddo. One of the ninjas told the Minato-sama you are need at the front line this is a strange beast we ever seen. Then Minato kissed Kurshina and kiss Naruto’s forehead. Then Minato left and Kurshina wanted to save her husband. Minato said, “Naruto I’m sorry I have to do this to save this village.” He sealed the Nine-tailed fox into Naruto. Kurshina said out load, “All of Namikaze clan and I’m was banned from Uzumaki Clan in the Whirlpool Country cause I’d married a Fire Country. I don’t deserved to live.” Danddo saw what was going on in Kurshina mind thought her eyes. Danddo said, “Minato left you a gift for you. That was Naruto. I have a feeling this kid of yours will one day become the most dangerous Hoagke but also a friendly Hogake.” Then Danddo kissed her on her lips to claim her down. Few years later Kurshina married Danddo and they both took care of baby naruto. Kurshina is pregent with Danddo's baby girl and they named her Dushina Seri. [/CENTER]


[B][I][U]Chapter 4
Danddo’s Betrayal[/U][/I][/B]

The Third Hogake return to the Hogake status after the Fourth Hogake’s Death. Danzou found out that Seven Swordsmen was ahead over to Leaf village. Danzou want to have a spy in the Rogue ninja world to get so information. So Danddo has a unique Kekkei Genkai. That Danzou choosen Danddo. Danzou told Danddo that you can choose anyone you want in the leaf village. Danddo’s trainee was Itachi Uchiha. Danddo kissed Kurshina's lips, kissed Naruto's and Daruto's forehead.

Then at Uchiha mansion. Danddo knocked on the Uchiha’s door. Mikoto Uchiha opened the door for Itachi’s role model. Danddo kissed Mikoto on her lips. Fugaku back from his mission and pushed him out and was ready to fight. Itachi came back from ANBU mission. Danddo fight Itachi and every time they locked up. Danddo whispered to Itachi, “That Danzou want me to become a uncover the rogue ninja world. He let me choose anyone I want you to be my secret partner. I choose you.” Danddo threw Itachi into the wall and Danddo said, “ You Uchiha are the weak clan and Itachi you are foolish old friend of mine now.” Then Danddo pushed knock Fugaku out cold. Then Danddo grabbed Mikoto and kissed her on her lips.

Then Danddo went to Tsunade’s house. Danddo asked, “Can I come in Tsunade-sensai ?” Tsunade is sitting on her chair in her office and replied, “Come in.” Danddo jumped on Tsunade’s lap and started kissing her on her lips. Then Danddo left her house.

Danddo went to Shizune’s house. Ton-Ton open the down. Shizune asked, “Danddo, Do you need anything?” Danddo replied, “Nope I just here to talk to you.” They both sat down. Danddo grabbed Shizune and kissed her on her lips. Then he left her house.

Then Danddo gather the rest of Team Dan. Suzume Namida and Kurenai Yuuhi asked, “What’s up Danddo?” Danddo said, “Nothing is wrong.” Danddo in a whispered he asked Kurenai does Suzume Namida has a crush on me?” Kurenai took Danddo into the kitchen. Before Kurenai had the first word in. Danddo grabbed her and started kissed her on her lips. Then Kurenai left throw the back door. Suzume Namida wondering what was gonna on in the kitchen. She asked, “Danddo where is Kurenai at?” Danddo replied, “She went back home.” Then he grabbed her and started kissing her on her lips.


On the battle field Danddo kissed Kurshina Uzumaki on her lips. Then when the time was right when the swordsmen attacked. That’s when Danddo Betray the Leaf Village. They left the village. After helping Danddo Seri becoming a rogue ninja. After that Tsunade and Shizune left the village cause both of their loved ones are dead and the one who they care about he betrayed the Leaf Village. Uzumaki Kushina killed herself after her second husband betray her only village.[/CENTER]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[CENTER][U][I][B]Chapter 5
Akatsuki[/B][/I][/U]

Danddo founder the Akatsuki and the members are: Orochimaru, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Pain, Konan and the leader was Danddo. Orochimaru betrayed the Akatsuki. Itachi join right after Orochimaru’s betrayal. Then Danddo put Pain in the leadership role. Now Danddo is Akatsuki’s Jinchuuriki trainer. Zetsu join after Danddo give his leadership to Pain. Danddo also betrayed Akatsuki.

Danddo help Orochimaru to found that Sound village. Then Danddo betrayed Orochimaru by prison Kimimaro drink. Cause Danddo found out that Kimimaro’s clan was the ones that burned his village. Danddo doesn’t know yet he’s a Prince and he deftly he doesn’t know that he had a real blood brother.

Momochi Zabuza want to go out with Tsunami but she’s married to Kaiza. That’s why Zabuza at first he became a hired hand for Gatô. Then when Kaiza got in the way of Gatô. Zabuza personal took care of it by chop off his limbs first and his head after show Tsunami and Inari was made to watch them killed Kaiza. Tazuna came to visit and he knocked the knock out of them. They ran to Tazuna’s house. Tsunami was in the market place. Zabuza try his best to hook up with her. Danddo Seri jumped on Zabuza and shaved his eyebrows.


Tsunami was so grateful that she accidently kissed Danddo. She said, “Why are you wearing a slash shirt and pants? ” She took him to her house and made new clothes. Red sleeveless jacket, sewed up his shirt and pants. Danddo was grateful he kissed her hand. Then she grabbed him and kiss him on his lips. He left the Mist village.

[U][I][B]Chapter 6
Dosuku[/B][/I][/U]

Danddo bought a masked and join with the Most dangerous ninjas. They form a new group that they called Dosuku. You can notice them by the Red cloak and black clouds on the cloak. In this Organization. Danddo when he’s in his Dosuku outfit. He is know as the Oddnad. The other members are Oddag, Oddnuj, Ottan, Orrac and Oddsim

Oddnag lift Oddnuj’s masked to her nose.Oddnad lift his masked to his nose and kissed Oddnuj on her lips. They both are enjoying it.Then he left his masked on his nose but he lift Orrac’s masked to her nose and kissed her on her lips. They both are enjoying it. Next Oddnad lift Oddsim’s masked to her nose and kissed her on her lips.They both are enjoying it.

In their first battle with the Akatsuki that when they found out that they all have Dangarinakugan. They win the battle but didn’t killed anyone dough. Back at Dosuku’s lair Oddnad took off his mask to reveal he’s Danddo Seri, Ottan took off his mask reveal he’s Natto, Oddag took off his mask to reveal he’s Gaddo, Oddnuj took off her mask reveal she’s Junddo, Oddsim took of her mask to reveal she’s Misddo and Orrac took her mask off reveal she’s Carro.

Carro is Danddo’s and Natto’s cousin. Misddo is Danddo’s and Natto’s Aunt. Junddo is Danddo’s and Natto’s mother. When Danddo recognized he’d just kissed his mom on her lips. Junddo recognized she’d kissed her son on his lips. They both spit. When Danddo recognized he’d just kissed his Aunt on her lips. Misddo recognized she’d kissed her nephew on his lips. They both spit. Danddo recognized he’d kissed his cousin on her lips. Carro recognized she’d kissed her cousin on his lips. They both spit. Then they all hugged cause they all thought they each other were dead from the battle in their home land. Danddo told the tales of his life after the battle.

[U][I][B]Chapter 7
Jinchuuriki Master [/B][/I][/U]

Nii Yugito wanted Danddo to train her. Nii Yugito asked, “Danddo-sama you are the Jinchuuriki Master. You have all of the power in your control. ” Danddo wants to make a Jinchuuriki Nation. Zetsu over hear it and told the Akatsuki. That when they all decide to go after Jinchuuriki before Danddo get them. Itachi told Danddo that the Third Hogake is dead.

Now the Third Hogake is dead and Tsunade is the Hogake now. Danddo remembers what Danzou told him. Danzou said, “Danddo you can come back to this village only if the Third Hogake is dead.” Then Danddo went back to his home. Danddo sneak in the village by night to talk to Tsunade. Tsunade asked, “What are you here for betrayer?” Danddo replied, “It was Danzou’s Top Secret Mission for me.” Tsunade asked, “That was all an acted?” Danddo said, “Yes Tsunade-sama to convince the rogue ninjas that I went rogue.” Tsunade said, “You are welcome back but I suggest you shouldn’t use your birth named in this village. This village thinks you are still a rogue.” Danddo asked, “What would my name be?” Tsunade answered, “ This day forward your named in the leaf village is going be Captain Dansou,” Tsunade turn in her chair facing the window. Then Captain Dansou jumped on Tsunade and started to kissed her on her lips. They both was enjoy it. When they got done kissing. Shizune was shocked to see Danddo. Tsunade said, “Shizune his name for right now is Captain Dansou.” Shizune kissed him on his lips. [/CENTER]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[CENTER][U][I][B]Chapter 8
Trickster[/B][/I][/U]

Time skip by the time Naruto was sixteen myth was going in the eyes of the villagers that there was once a royal clan that had the most powerful eyes ever and those eyes were called the Dangarinakugan.

Then Naruto saw Yamato & Kakashi talking to Captain Dansou about Naruto. Dansou saw Naruto and said, “Here he comes,” Then Dansou left. Dansou start to cry that’s why he left so quickly. Naruto asked, “Who was the guy you guys were talking to?” They said, “He was a old boss named Captain Dansou.”

Tsunade order Shizune to get Dansou to talk about what Dansou found out when he was on his mission for Danzou. Tsunade heard Jiraya’s foot steps coming towards her office. Tsunade whisper into Dansou’s ear. Then Dansou transform into Naruto. Dansou in Naruto disguise he kissing Tsunade on her lips. When Jiraya came in he sees Naruto kissing Tsunade they both are enjoying it. After Jiraya took the picture. He ran out the door. After Jiraya left the office. Dansou to back to Dansou. Dansou and Tsunade laugh about it. Dansou left the office.

Dansou went to Kurenai Yuuhi’s house. Dansou transform into Shikamaru and he’d knock on her door. Dansou in Shikamaru disguise he kissing Kurenai Yuuhi on her lips. When Asuma came to visit he sees Shikamaru kissing Kurenai Yuuhi. Kurenai was shocked but Shikamaru is enjoying it. Left her house.

Dansou went to Inuzuka house. Dansou transform into Kiba. Kiba walking in and said, “Hey sis I want a word with you.” Hana said, “sure Kiba what’s up?” Dansou started kissing Hana on her lips. When Tsume came back from her mission and she sees Kiba kissing Hana on her lips. Tsume said, “I need a word with you Kiba.” Dansou said, “Okay mom.” He went into Tsume’s room. Then Dansou started kissing Tsume on her lips. Then Danzou left.

Dansou went to Hyuuga’s house and transform into Neji. He went into the house. Dansou kissing Hinata on her lips. When Hiashi came in and see Neji kissing Hinata. Dansou left Hyuuga house.

These tricks reminds Dansou when he was Danddo he disguise himself as Itachi and kissing Mikoto Uchiha. Fugaku saw Itachi kissing Mikoto on her lips. Itachi and Danddo laughed about it until Itachi got in trouble for it. The tricks remind himself of the one time he disguise himself as Minato and kissed Murshina on her lips. Minato and Danddo laugh about it until Minato got in trouble for it. Tsunade retired and put Danddo as the Hogake.

[U][I][B]Chapter 9
Danddo’s Death[/B][/I][/U]

Danzou order Ebisu to get Tsunade. Tsunade asked, "Danddo-sama what's your order?" Dansou said, "I'm dying. I want Naruto to know that truth about his bloodline." Danddo hold Tsunade in his arms and kissed her for the last time.

After years and years watching Naruto became 30 years old and make it to Jounin. Dansou couldn’t kept it a secret anymore. Dansou told Naruto he’s his nephew and step son. Danddo said, " Here the list." and he give the list to Naruto and told Naruto to find your sisters and brothers.

[I]THE LIST:
Hizashi Seri-Son of Hinata and Danddo
Shiori Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Suzume
Shinju Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Sakura
Nawaki Seri-Son of Danddo and Tsunade
Mihio Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Temari
Katsumi Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Kurenai
Kairi Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Karin
Izumi Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Ino
Isamu Seri-Son of Danddo and Tsunami
Ianddo Seri-Son of Danddo and Ayame
Duki Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Fuki
Doki Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Toki
Dayamo-Daughter of Danddo and Ayamo
Dasuki Seri-Son of Danddo and Mikoto
Dandy Seri-Son of Danddo and Yoshino
Danny Seri-Son of Danddo and Yurika
Dan Seri-Son of Danddo and Shizune
Daisuke Seri-Son of Danddo and Tenten
Dana Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Tsume.
Asami Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Hana
Akiko Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Anko.
Anddo Seri-Son of Danddo and Kaori.
Dujaku Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Kujaku.
Dushina Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Kurshina.
That mite be not all of Danddo's Children.[/I]

Danddo was gonna said, “Naruto my son your true father’s name is....” before he finished he died. Naruto started to crying. Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Kurenai, Shizune and Tsunade. All of them hugged Naruto. Danddo die of old age. Tsunade returned after Danddo's death. Tsunade welcome all of the Seri clan to take the arena of the Uchihas once lived. Seri Clan became the police of the Leaf Village. Before this Asuma died years ago. Shikamaru and Kurenai married to each other. Choji married Ino. Sakura married Gaara. Rock Lee married Temari, Neji married Tenten, Kiiba married Hinata, Naruto married Shion.Sai married Shizune. Kakashi married Ayame. Gai married Anko.

[U][I][B]Chapter 10
Naruto's Search[/B][/I][/U]

Naruto wanted to say good-bye to, Tsunade, Sakura, Kakashi, Gai, Rock Lee, Iruka, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Kurenai, Shizune, Neji, Hinata, Tenten, Ayame,Choji, Ino, Sai, Anko and Yamato. Sakura kissing Naruto on his lips. Ino kissing Naruto on his lips. Tenten kissing Naruto on his lips. Hinata kissing Naruto on his lips. Anko kissing Naruto on his lips. Kurenai kissing Naruto on his lips. Shion asked, "Can I go with you?" Naruto said, "You have to keep our child safe. I promise I'll return some day with all my half brothers and half sisters." He did the nice guy pose. Shion gave Naruto a long good-bye kiss on his lips. Kakashi said, "Naruto I want to show you guys my face." So he took off all of his mask and reveal his face at last. Naruto left the village to start his search for his siblings.

[U][I][B]Chapter 11
Keri Seri [/B][/I][/U]

Now Orochimaru is dead by Sasuke. Kabuto gather the sons and daughters of the Akatsuki members:
Itachi's and Konan's son Otachi Uchiha, Pein's and Konan's daughter Ponan, Zetsu and Konan's son Ketsu, Deidara and Konan's daughter Keidara, Sasori and Konan's son Sonan, Tobi and Konan's daughter Kobi, Hidan and Konan's son Kidan, Kakuzu and Konan's daughter Kakonazu, Kisame and Konan's son Kison, Orochimaru and Konan's daughter Oroconaru, Keri Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Konan.

Keri has blue hair, Brown eyes and cheek whisker on his left cheek. He look liked his mom than his dad. But he craves for incest for some strange reason. When he was a teenager at a christmas party. Konan was hanging misletoe. Or Otachi Uchiha knock Konan down from the ladder. Konan landed on Keri. The accidently kissed each other. Konan was shocked and bushing. Konan was alone in the lair one night. Keri put his hands was cover her eyes and he turn her head around. Konan had her eyes close. Then when she'd open her eyes. She sees Keri kissing her on her lips.

Keri Seri grabbed Ponan and started kissing her on her lips. Keidara walking by and Keri grabbed her and started kissing on her lips. Keri when he saw Kobi and grabbed her and started kissing her on her lips. Keri grabbed Kakonazu started kissing her on her lips. Oroconaru grabbed Keri and started kissing him on his lips.

Keri Seri ran into one of his Akatsuki's rivals. It was one of the Dosuku members. It was Oddnuj. Keri Seri lift Oddnuj’s masked to her nose and kissed her on her lips. They both are enjoy it. Oddnuj asked, "What is your named handsome?" Keri Seri answered, "My name is Keri Seri. My father name is Danddo and my mother name is Konan." Oddnuj took off her masked and said, "Danddo is my son. That makes you my grandson. My name is Junddo not Oddnuj." When they both recognized they are family. Junddo spited. Keri Seri like to kiss family members. So he grabbed his grandma and started kissing her on her lips. She finally got away from her grandson. She push him off of her and dash out.

[U][I][B]Chapter 12
ANBU's Search[/B][/I][/U]

ANBU are sorry that how they view Naruto in the past. Now they are helping Naruto with his search in the village.

They found
Dasuki Seri-Son of Danddo and Mikoto
Dandy Seri-Son of Danddo and Yoshino
Danny Seri-Son of Danddo and Yurika
Dan Seri-Son of Danddo and Shizune
Daisuke Seri-Son of Danddo and Tenten
Dana Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Tsume.
Asami Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Hana
Akiko Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Anko.
Anddo Seri-Son of Danddo and Kaori.
Hizashi Seri-Son of Hinata and Danddo
Shiori Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Suzume
Shinju Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Sakura
Nawaki Seri-Son of Danddo and Tsunade
Mihio Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Temari
Katsumi Seri-Daughter of Danddo and Kurenai.


[/CENTER]

[B][COLOR="Red"]If you want to see what happens to Danddo Seri click here: [url]http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=59707[/url][/COLOR][/B]

[B][I][U][COLOR="DarkOrange"]If you want to see what happens to Naruto stay here.[/COLOR][/U][/I][/B]

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Query: is this an actual story? Or is this a sheet of notes for a story you're planning out.

I arrived at that idea through two observations. First, your language use indicates either that you are not putting very much effort into capturing your ideas on paper, aside from a few facts here and there, or that you are unfamiliar with English (as in, it's not your primary language). Second, your "chapters" comprise less than a third of a page, meaning there is virtually no content.

Also, and pardon my language here, why is Danddo screwing everyone in the main canon? What purpose does this serve?

Before you respond to any of this, I urge you to answer my questions to yourself, and then examine your answers and see if this project is truly worth writing. I do not want to discourage you from writing, by any means, but if you are going to write I would rather see you write [I]well[/I].

And as it stands, I think you have loads of work to do before you continue.[/FONT]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]Query: is this an actual story? Or is this a sheet of notes for a story you're planning out.

I arrived at that idea through two observations. First, your language use indicates either that you are not putting very much effort into capturing your ideas on paper, aside from a few facts here and there, or that you are unfamiliar with English (as in, it's not your primary language). Second, your "chapters" comprise less than a third of a page, meaning there is virtually no content.

Also, and pardon my language here, why is Danddo screwing everyone in the main canon? What purpose does this serve?

Before you respond to any of this, I urge you to answer my questions to yourself, and then examine your answers and see if this project is truly worth writing. I do not want to discourage you from writing, by any means, but if you are going to write I would rather see you write [I]well[/I].

And as it stands, I think you have loads of work to do before you continue.[/FONT][/QUOTE]


Are you volunteer to help me out with my spelling and gammar? If not shut up please.
I'm just a human. Like you. We all make mistakes. I have contion called Chromezone 8. I'm missing. That's causing speech problems and spelling problems and gammar problems. So before you bash anyone else. You should see their true personality is. I also can't smell anything.

TO ANSWER YOUr QUESTION:
Q: Also, and pardon my language here, why is Danddo screwing everyone in the main canon? What purpose does this serve?

A:
That's how he deal with his lost, blood family that he thought he lost in the war. He feels like a outcast.

B
Trying to get Danddo's Personality.

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Before we go anywhere....
[quote name='Kaimaster']Are you volunteer to help me out with my spelling and gammar? If not shut up please.[/quote]
Not a good way to deal with criticism. I'll just be straight with ya on that. Especially since I'm kind of the guy who looks after this section. (And I loathe pulling rank, so, ya know....)

[QUOTE][I]I'm just a human. Like you. We all make mistakes. I have contion called Chromezone 8. I'm missing. That's causing speech problems and spelling problems and gammar problems. So before you bash anyone else. You should see their true personality is. I also can't smell anything.[/I][/QUOTE]
And that's exactly why I probed for information. But this is beside the point. So before you get defensive about someone being insensitive, try assuming they're genuinely curious. I like to know who I'm dealing with before I start really dealing with them. (^_^) No slamming intended, at any rate.

[QUOTE][I]TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION:
Q: Also, and pardon my language here, why is Danddo screwing everyone in the main canon? What purpose does this serve?

A:
That's how he deal with his lost, blood family that he thought he lost in the war. He feels like a outcast.

B
Trying to get Danddo's Personality.[/I][/QUOTE]
A.) These are possibly genuine pathological issues someone in those circumstances might have: a striking need for contact in any form and the need to feel accepted or wanted. However, it appears to me that these concepts are not pertinent to any end save to enable Danddo to become intimate with as many women as possible as often as possible.

B.) This reason holds less water for me. Personalities are better and more easily revealed through normal character interaction than through sex?despite that the closest you seem to able to bring yourself to an intimate act is kissing on lips. Essentially, you're skipping almost all the interesting character development possibilities in favor of going straight for the . . . er, climax.

This is my major bone with your work. Your grammar/syntax are secondary; even though they indicate either unfamiliarity or struggles with the language (and yes, I think we'll both agree that your condition gives you struggles), grammar/syntax are areas which can be improved over time.

It is your content that I question the most. Again, this project appears only to be a method of fantasising about a self-made character (who, in this case, most likely bears a striking resemblance to you) becoming intimate with any- and everyone attractive in the Naruto universe.

This is by no means a persuasion to stop writing. I encourage all who want to write to further their skills and seek advice. And I have no real problem with posted fanfiction. However, fan-[I]service[/I], and especially [I]self[/I]-service, do not sit very well with me, especially when the purpose is not the advancement of skills so much as one's own pleasure.

So again, I urge you to decide what this project means to you. If you truly want a workable story, I suggest you spend some time refining your ideas, and I'll be more than willing to assist you with spelling/grammar/syntax and what. However, if all you want to do transcribe mental fantasies, then I think you should find something else to do with your time.[/FONT]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]Before we go anywhere....

Not a good way to deal with criticism. I'll just be straight with ya on that. Especially since I'm kind of the guy who looks after this section. (And I loathe pulling rank, so, ya know....)


And that's exactly why I probed for information. But this is beside the point. So before you get defensive about someone being insensitive, try assuming they're genuinely curious. I like to know who I'm dealing with before I start really dealing with them. (^_^) No slamming intended, at any rate.


A.) These are possibly genuine pathological issues someone in those circumstances might have: a striking need for contact in any form and the need to feel accepted or wanted. However, it appears to me that these concepts are not pertinent to any end save to enable Danddo to become intimate with as many women as possible as often as possible.

B.) This reason holds less water for me. Personalities are better and more easily revealed through normal character interaction than through sex—despite that the closest you seem to able to bring yourself to an intimate act is kissing on lips. Essentially, you're skipping almost all the interesting character development possibilities in favor of going straight for the . . . er, climax.

This is my major bone with your work. Your grammar/syntax are secondary; even though they indicate either unfamiliarity or struggles with the language (and yes, I think we'll both agree that your condition gives you struggles), grammar/syntax are areas which can be improved over time.

It is your content that I question the most. Again, this project appears only to be a method of fantasising about a self-made character (who, in this case, most likely bears a striking resemblance to you) becoming intimate with any- and everyone attractive in the Naruto universe.

This is by no means a persuasion to stop writing. I encourage all who want to write to further their skills and seek advice. And I have no real problem with posted fanfiction. However, fan-[I]service[/I], and especially [I]self[/I]-service, do not sit very well with me, especially when the purpose is not the advancement of skills so much as one's own pleasure.

So again, I urge you to decide what this project means to you. If you truly want a workable story, I suggest you spend some time refining your ideas, and I'll be more than willing to assist you with spelling/grammar/syntax and what. However, if all you want to do transcribe mental fantasies, then I think you should find something else to do with your time.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

Check my other threads. I'd asked for help with my characters:
[url]http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=59697[/url]

[Allamorph]

[QUOTE=Kaimaster]Check my other threads. I'd asked for help with my characters:
[url]http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=59697[/url][/QUOTE]
[FONT=Arial]Not the issue. (And I've already seen the thread.)

Are you writing to further yourself or are you writing to pleasure yourself?[/FONT]

[Guest Kaimaster]

[quote name='Allamorph'][FONT=Arial]Not the issue. (And I've already seen the thread.)

Are you writing to further yourself or are you writing to pleasure yourself?[/FONT][/QUOTE]

No. If you read the Bible, Jocab had lots of wives. So did King David. So back off please. You are starting [COLOR="Red"][B]discouraging me.[/B][/COLOR] :mad: :flaming: from being myself.

What do you mean by Are you writing to further yourself?

[The Spectacular Professor]

[quote name='Kaimaster']No. If you read the Bible, Jocab had lots of wives. So did King David.[/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]And how exactly did that work for David again?:p

Anyway, that's again not the point. The point is you seem to just be writing with your pants instead of your head. The relationships are spontaneous and poorly written, indicating that you're not really putting much effort into this at all. Alla's giving you all this advice to try to help you better yourself as a writer. As someone who has used his services in much the same manner, I recommend you give listening to him a shot.[/FONT]