Shy Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 [size=1]Some of this is my fault. I should have done more to reign in Gavin in regards for his plans for the character. Having said that my biggest concern is with the hijacking, and that is all I'm going to talk about here. Gavin is a very strong writer and I want to see him continue with Dawlish. However, if Dawlish were to simply board the Alaina rather than hijack it I think most of the concerns would be addressed. Dawlish simply comes across as too one-note, and I don't think it's appropriate given the conversations I have had with Gavin. Period. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 [font=franklin gothic medium]It's cool. At the end of the day it really isn't a huge deal, but you know, it's just very jarring. So I think if Gavin would remove the hijacking aspect and try to keep everything in the context of the RPG, we'd all appreciate that. Sometimes we do have to edit our posts and stuff, so it does happen. Once that edit is done the rest of us can continue posting.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 [SIZE="1"]I think people's criticims of the post have been perfectly accurate and there's relatively little I can say to defend it. Admittedly I got a bit carried away writing and went counter to my intention to have Dawlish actually appear a less one-dimension character than his sign up made him appear. I will attempt to remedy things as best I can over the course of the next few days as unfortunately I've become quite busy again and rushing things last time seems to have lead to this problem. Something perhaps that has not been established is that Dawlish is very much a second and separate faction in Almagest with a story that is entwined with his relatives. This was something that was developed prior to the launch and perhaps something I've come to regret helping to establish in the first place due to the fact it does make the writing quite complicated from my end. James your comments about Madame Grimoire was something I hadn't realised and it wasn't my intention to write something that would seem out of character. When I said Grimoire I did mean the company but it probably didn't come off like that so you have my apologies in that regard. For the moment if people would simply continue as though Dawlish turned up uninvited from his larger ship that would probably make things for all concerned for me to write the revision while allowing Ace's post to remain relatively intact. Again I do regret that this came out quite badly as it was not my intention to make such a mess of things. [b][Edit][/b] Seems the edit came through far quicker than I thought, hopefully this keeps in better with the established plot.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 [COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Tahoma"]Okay, I posted again. You were fine with Victoria before Darren and if I got Liana off a bit let me know. =P The two are now wandering around the ship and as far as Victoria is concerned, the silly adults are... [I]silly[/I]. So she's off doing other things, like always. XD[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [font=franklin gothic medium]Thanks for that Gavin, you've handled it well. Very appreciated. Just for my own purposes, did Dawlish's ship land on/within the Alaina? I mean is it small enough to land in a docking bay? Or would it just be hovering next to it? Your post looked as though it landed inside the Alaina, but somehow I thought Dawlish's ship was much larger or something. But yeah, that was a good edit. It's a bit more sympathetic to what's happening around Dawlish. :catgirl:[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]There's a very small bit a couple of paragraphs before the arrival where Dawlish & co. board a smaller ship and dock with it. It's pretty easy to miss, but it's there. And yeah, it seems like everything checks out now. Without even requiring me to edit. Thanks, Gavin.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [SIZE="1"]No problems, I suppose I was just in the mood to rewrite it after replying though I did expect it to take longer. Causing drama is not something I aim to do after all, not unless someone's changed my username to Sandy at some point when I wasn't looking. Ace is also correct James I actually edited a few paragraphs before the actual landing which dealt with Dawlish's shuttle leaving the Meridia to ferry them over to the Alaina. And there's no need to thank me Ace it would've been my fault in the first place if you had to go off and edit.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [font=franklin gothic medium]Ah yes, thank you. I read it but I was a bit confused at first - now it all makes sense. I suppose the guests on the upper deck will have a very interesting view, seeing the Meridia floating alongside them in the sky. :catgirl: Anyway great job. I may post later today or tomorrow... we'll see how it goes. I have a lot to do here at home so I may not get the chance. But I'd definitely like to get a post or two in before the next landmark![/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 [size=1]I'll try to get two posts in over the weekend, which will move us forward to the next day. From there characters who have not already been recruited for the individual hunts for the artifacts will be approached, and we'll learn where the first artifact is located. Also, a new Landmark. Should be fun. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Aaryanna, you did fine with Liana so no worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [SIZE="1"]I'll probably whip up a post later on today, at the risk of Esther slipping off into the shadows. I already have a feeling she isn't going to be finding any new bffs amongst the gathered company. :smirk:[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [SIZE="1"]Depending on how my weekend pans out I may get another post for Dawlish up though I doubt it will be any more than just more character interactions and plotting with Macey (because you know that's just what they do) regarding the future. Something that I also want to address because I think there's been a lot of misunderstanding on both sides that's beginning to cause some real issues is how I'm portraying Dawlish in this story. Frankly I think people have known me, and worked with me long enough to know my calibre as a writer and this assertion coming from certain quarters that I've degenerated into a god-modder only interesting in having his character show off is quite insulting. The biggest problem I suppose is that only a few people know exactly the side-story involving Dawlish throughout the RPG as a whole. His actions and personality while coming off as self-centred, childish and lackadaisical to the [B]outside[/B] world (really important point) are substantially different from his thoughts, actions and motivations which go on outside those around him with the exception of Esther. While I wouldn't go as far as to say he's effectively leading two lives, it's a certain fact that his newer extroverted personality is a mask for what's really going on beneath. His own brother admits he doesn't even recognise him any more for the man he was and seems to have fallen prey to the evils of celebrity and wealth. Another problem I suppose, is knowing the ending to the RPG and much of the skeleton story is that I can see how it develops and makes certain actions I've take make more sense in the longer run. I do also appreciate though that those who don't (and I sometimes forget this) would almost definitely not see Dawlish the same way I do because they don't know what's going to happen. Really this has been Almagest's greatest boon and flaw in one, we get great surprises but at the same time anyone writing a side-plot has to be very careful about how it's constructed so things aren't misconstrued. There are other certain things I'm more than willing to accept that I misinterpreted since before the RPG even began that have caused problems. For instance my assertion that Dawlish had become the richest man in the known world had come about because I had thought he was the first person to sell magitechnology outside of Czenovia as opposed to Czenovia indeed having the monopoly but being a substantial exporter to other nations as well. From my perspective if Dawlish had managed to be the first person to introduce magitechnology to the rest of the world then it only made sense he could quite quickly become one of the world's richest men even with his manufacturing facilities being only 2 years old. A more accurate portrayal now is that while he is substantially well off he is probably significantly less wealthy than his uncle Leonhart due to Magitech being a much older and larger company, even after Dawlish inheriting and removing his father's share of the company. An example I think works well that occurred to me after a conversation with James on this last night was that while I believe Magitech probably didn't sell weapons to those outside Czenovia (I may be wrong here) and by their very nature weapons are an incredibly profitable business to be in, Lockheed Martin will never be bigger than Wal-Mart because of the saturation point reached with weapons eventually. Anyway that was just something I wanted to get off my chest because honestly I didn't want any more ill-feeling to occur over this. I'll happily elaborate more if people need me to.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [font=franklin gothic medium]Your explanation is appreciated, Gavin, but honestly I think everyone is over it now - they certainly should be, anyway. As I mentioned to you when we chatted, in the end this is just an RPG...I would hate to think that anyone got seriously upset over one post. My attitude is simple: your last post was really problematic due to the hijacking and now that you've removed that, the post is fine. I just knew that the hijack could potentially kill the RPG if it had remained there, because it was just so nonsencial and jarring. You've managed to edit your post and remove that part without killing the spirit of your post. That takes some skill and I think you've done a great job with it. As far as you degenerating into a god-modder... no. That one post contained god-modding, but that's all. I'm sure everybody knows that, at least, anyone who's been paying attention. If everyone judged me by my worst post rather than all my posts, I'd never get into any RPGs ever! :catgirl: So yeah, don't be too hard on yourself. We all have our shockers (I can remember one of mine in particular from years ago). Now that this is past us, we can continue on and look forward to that next Landmark. I'm pretty excited about where this second Landmark will lead us, too.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 [size=1]I don't know exactly why, but I wrote a post featuring Esther and Dawlish pretty heavily, If anything needs to be changed let me know, as I don't feel like I had a clear grasp on either of them. I like Esther a lot, though, so people had better start using her. Heh. James I also mentioned in my post that the House of Grimoire will be holding a fashion show throughout the week. Perhaps this is something you want to touch on; it's a good excuse for Edith to interact with some of the other characters. And Dawlish spoiled the surprise of the Xear artifacts to the crowd. I trust the Church of the Phoenix, and many others will find out about this soon enough. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [SIZE="1"]I don't know if it needs to be changed, but Esther very much doesn't want people to know that she and Dawlish are involved. I realise her dialogue with Bea could also be read as a concerned employee for her boss, rather than outright saying they're lovers, but she did seem to open up a little too easily. Apart from that, though, you wrote her perfectly. <3[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 [quote name='Ezekiel'][SIZE="1"]I don't know if it needs to be changed, but Esther very much doesn't want people to know that she and Dawlish are involved. I realise her dialogue with Bea could also be read as a concerned employee for her boss, rather than outright saying they're lovers, but she did seem to open up a little too easily. Apart from that, though, you wrote her perfectly. <3[/SIZE][/QUOTE][size=1]No worries. I'll tweak some of the lines to keep it vague. -Shy[/size] :whoops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezekiel Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [quote name='Shy'][size=1]No worries. I'll tweak some of the lines to keep it vague. -Shy[/size] :whoops:[/QUOTE] [SIZE="1"]Thank you, dear. 8D I hope I'm excused for being timid when it comes to using other people's characters. I'm nervous because I don't know them as intimately well as other participants from the previous RP, so it may take me a little longer until I feel I can do them justice. I hope the ending of my post is a suitable enough place for Gavin or anyone else to jump in with Dawlish.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [quote name='Shy'][size=1] James I also mentioned in my post that the House of Grimoire will be holding a fashion show throughout the week. Perhaps this is something you want to touch on; it's a good excuse for Edith to interact with some of the other characters. And Dawlish spoiled the surprise of the Xear artifacts to the crowd. I trust the Church of the Phoenix, and many others will find out about this soon enough. -Shy[/size][/QUOTE] [font=franklin gothic medium]That sounds great - a fashion show is a good idea. Maybe this is where Edith will debut emerald thread? :smirk: In my next post I might introduce the fashion show and yeah, that should provide an opportunity for people to join in if they want. Aaryanna, I'm not sure what your plans are, but would Victoria be interested in a fashion show or is that a bit too adult for her? I figured it was something Gustave could take her to, if interested - I haven't had the chance to write about him giving her the little wooden chimaera yet! :catgirl:[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 [COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Tahoma"][quote name='James][font=franklin gothic medium']Aaryanna, I'm not sure what your plans are, but would Victoria be interested in a fashion show or is that a bit too adult for her? I figured it was something Gustave could take her to, if interested - I haven't had the chance to write about him giving her the little wooden chimaera yet! :catgirl:[/font][/quote]Other than to ignore the adults since she thinks they are ridiculous creatures at times, Victoria Ann has no plans. Or so she tells me. =P She even bosses me around. o_O She would probably go if asked since it would mean she got to go to Le Monde and therefore visit Gustave and the others in Anovia. She would see the show as a means to get to do the other stuff. XD Also, she would be curious to see it, if only to poke fun at the silly things adults wear. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horendithas Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 [COLOR="Indigo"][FONT="Arial"]Malkav, you're a silly one. I guess you missed it, but you posted here in the backstage instead of in the main thread. :blulaugh: And since this isn't the place (snerks at the pun that the Utahan's will get) I went ahead and just moved the post. Anyway... I do have a post I want to get up, but it can be a reflective or flashback moment. So no need to wait on that if Shy is planning on getting us moving. Heh. [/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I really wish I got that totally state exclusive joke. Anyway I'll post some more mingling good times, Leonhart asking her to go on that expedition as a scientist, and possibly some good times with mean words.[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malkav Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='Indi'][COLOR=indigo][FONT=Arial]Malkav, you're a silly one. I guess you missed it, but you posted here in the backstage instead of in the main thread. :blulaugh: [/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=indigo]And since this isn't the place (snerks at the pun that the Utahan's will get) I went ahead and just moved the post. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT][/quote] Thanks love, I guess I was rushing it to print.:catgirl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 [size=1]Okay it's the next day, and various characters are being approached to join the two(four?) expeditions. Meanwhile the Church is making plans of their own. Some of you I have spoken to on AIM about the various plans for your characters, others are given a little more free-reign to do whatever they would like. [b]Hinata/Nathan:[/b] Although Frederic would keep the details of the expedition secretive (for now) the area we will be traveling to for the first artifact is largely inaccessible by airship. Chimaera are the primary, and really only, method of transportation. If Natalia has no interest in traveling we can work around it. I don't want to force anyone into anything and there is A LOT of room for flexibility. [b]PJ McKraftison[/b]: You are free to cover Felix explaining what he knows to the Sief. Aaryanna Mom will be covering specific details about the location of the first artifact in a future post (as soon as I talk to her about those details, that is.) Everyone else, stay gold. Sorry for the delay in getting this up. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hinata Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [FONT="Palatino Linotype"][COLOR="Blue"]ACK! Yeah I was planning on posting my thoughts on the expedition yesterday but night shift and no computer access makes me a dull girl. So therefore I will edit my previous thoughts for a post to reflect what it is that Id like to do. hehe! But yeah I will approach someone with my thoughts. Im just happy I read this thread instead of posted in the main one first! TY for the heads up![/COLOR][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 [font=franklin gothic medium]My post just covers the moment prior to landing... and I've left it a bit open at the end for Darren to do what he likes. So I hope that's ok. If there's anything you guys want changed, just let me know.[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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