Best B-movie of all time

[Doc Holliday]

The best of the B-movies is kind of like a contest of "which piece of crap smells the least terrible," because no matter what movie wins, it still probably blows.

However, we've all seen them, and, even though not intended, we've all laughed hysterically at them. Now is your time to choose; which B-movie is the best B-movie of all time?

I cast my vote for the movie "[URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undefeatable"]Undefeatable[/URL]," (click it, it's a link) a movie so indescribably bad that you can't help but snicker. In this movie, not only does the bad guy's fighting style rely on the existence of nearby poles, but it seems in the dimension this takes place in, there are no bystandards, only victims, and none of the women yell for help.

I challenge you to come up with a better B-movie than that.

[Mr. Blonde]

[U][URL=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071517/][B]FOXY BROWN[/B][/URL][/U]


Blackspoiltation at its finest.

[Mr. Maul]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray][URL="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085696/"]Hu Ying (aka A Fist Full of Talons)[/URL]

[IMG]http://www.hkcinemagic.com/en/images/movie/header/talion_c5b48eaf3c30d794ee4fac6bb35dab3a.jpg[/IMG]


Early 80's Hong Kong cinema...

...at its finest.


This next one isn't a B movie. Or even a C or D movie at that. There aren't enough letters to rate just how low this movie is. As a matter of fact, I've yet to see a movie worse than this one.

The movie, of course, being [URL="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360784/"]Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings[/URL].

[IMG]http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/mrmaul/POSTER-MAXMAGICIANANDTHELEGENDOFTHE.png[/IMG]


That being said, it is so absolutely terrible a movie (at its finest), that it is ridiculously funny. Dare I say... genius?


No.


I don't dare.




[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[David Grohl]

[COLOR="DimGray"]Alright, fine. Undefeatable has some moments where it's awesome. Yeah, yeah, stabs his eye out with a hook, whatever. Does it have a scene where someone cuts out his intestines and than attempts to strangle someone with said guts? Are those same innards than run through a projector reel, which by the way would make for the most awesome movie ever?

No?

Than it isn't the greatest B-movie of all, because it isn't Ricki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

[IMG]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HKB0CFXTL._SL500.jpg[/IMG]

... Alright, fine, so that's kinda intentional. And also, it's more than a bit awesome. Real B-movies? This has to go to a little low-budget musical made in the heartland if cinema (Ottawa, Ontario.) by the name of Jesus Christ: Vampire Slayer.

[IMG]http://www.headinjurytheater.com/jesus%20vamp%20jesus%20doing%20something%20i%20thought%20Id%20never%20see.jpg[/IMG]
Nobody ****s with the Jesus!

Don't believe me? I've seen it. It's as horrid as it sounds. Jesus Christ is out for a stroll one day with his two pals, when they get jumped by some vampires. In a scene which is entirely impossible to understand, the twos buddies get wasted, Jesus freaks out, and twenty vampire ******* die. Long story short, there's a lesbian shortage, because vampires keep feeding on them. This angers the Jesus. He calls on his buddy, Santos - an honest-to-god, 300-pound Lucha Dore. The two of them waste *** in confusing, singing-dancing, slow-paced style like only b-movie characters can.

Also, Johnny Vegas is there.[/COLOR]

[Doc Holliday]

I got bested by goddamn Dave Grohl. WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS

Edit: Yeah, it may have intestines running through a projector reel, but does anyone in that movie say "Come on mommy, I wanna play?"