Writing Otaku Prose Contest Round 1 (Sabrina VS. Monarck)

[Mykul]

[CENTER][SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial Black"]THE GREAT OTAKU PROSE CONTEST[/FONT][/SIZE]

Round 1

[SIZE="4"][FONT="Lucida Console"][COLOR="Navy"][B]S[/COLOR]A[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]B[/COLOR][COLOR="White"]R[/COLOR][COLOR="Navy"]I[/COLOR]N[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]A[/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT="Impact"]VERSUS [/FONT]M[COLOR="Orange"]O[/COLOR]NA[COLOR="DimGray"]R[/COLOR]C[COLOR="Orange"]K[/COLOR][/SIZE]


[SIZE="1"]Voting is open to ALL Otaku members except Sabrina and Monarck. Voters, please state your vote clearly. Also, please give your reason for casting your vote the way you do. [COLOR="Red"]Voting will close on Friday, January 23.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]

[SIZE="4"][B][FONT="Courier New"][U]The Challenge: 55 Fiction[/U][/FONT][/B][/SIZE]
Each contestant will Compose [SIZE="3"]1[/SIZE] short story. However, this short story [U]may not exceed 55 words[/U]. Voters will select their favorite work of the two.

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"]I didn't think to ask this earlier... but I'm going to go by the rules as explained for 55 Fiction that can be found here: [URL="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=58988"][U]55 Fiction[/U][/URL] If that's a problem let me know.

[CENTER][B]Wrong color[/B][/CENTER]
?[B]It?s [I]red[/I].[/B]?

?[B]Give it a try,[/B]? he cajoled. ?[B]I?m sure you?ll like it.[/B]?

She turned her back in disdain. ?[B]No.[/B]?

He sighed. ?[B]Take it back.[/B]?

?[B]Did you want blue sir?[/B]?

Another sigh escaped his lips. ?[B]No, I want you to take it back.[/B]?

?[B]What?[/B]? She cried in disbelief.

?[B]You should have given it a try.[/B]? [/FONT]

[Allamorph]

[FONT=Arial]Despite the forfeit of three opponents, and the resultant lack of need to vote, I still feel the remaining competitors deserve some feedback.

[COLOR="DarkRed"]Sabrina[/COLOR], the concept is interesting, but . . . what happened? There are so many directions one could go from where you stopped, so many emotions and sentiments on either side, that when we reach the end all the man's line is all we are given, the most we can do is go ". . . eh?"

When you construct a work within such a limited space, it is imperative to lead the reader into the conclusion you want them to see. Ambiguity is only part of the effect; the other half is the realisation, and there is none at the end of yours. All we can tell is that the man is disappointed, and possibly out of patience.

If you feel you need more room to communicate what you want to say, look back and see what you might write in less words for the same impact. Simplicity and efficiency are the necessary tools for reaching your end here.

Good luck in the next round![/FONT]

[Sabrina]

[FONT="Tahoma"]Thanks for the feedback Sir Allamorph. Until you said that I didn't realize it was on the confusing side. o_O I probably should have used a different story since that one was really hard to get in there with only 55 words available. I'll keep that in mind for the next time I write something that is really short. Anyway, I'm only sorry that Monarck didn't get their entry in. I hate to win by default. :([/FONT]