ChibiHorsewoman Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [color=#9933ff][font=monotype corsiva][size=4]Of course if there are any meaningful ones you'd care to share go right ahead. I would like to appologize ahead of time for the quality of my first post because I'm rushing this out before I leave for work. I'm just bored and looking for ways to cure it. Here are some quotes of late. Feel free to add yours to the fray, but please explain why you like them and where they're from if you can.: [b]Being a hero is great, but being an action hero is better[/b]- My boyfriend on why he should have the Halo 3 Theme song as his ringtone. He's never said it out loud, but one of our friends says he's a Halo fanboy, and dammit all if he isn't at least a closet one. [b]If I ever see an Amish person. I'm gonna ask them to do a dance[/b]- Chibi Master. Okay I paraphrased, but it was just too funny. [b]No one can make you feel inferior without your persmission[/b]- Eleanore Roosevelt. This one is very true because it's not up to other people what you feel about yourself, it's up to you. That's all from me until tonight. I hope someone comes up with better ones than mine.[/color][/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [size=1]Me and my friends keep ours on Facebook, haha. But they're much funnier if you're there. [B]"Cryin' don't make you emo! Bein' emo makes you emo!"[/B] - Me... O_o [B]"I can't pull a door..."[/B] - Again me. [B]"Special delivery for two DICKHEADS."[/B] - My friend when we sent her off for take way by herself and wouldn't open the door, haha. [B]"Oh wow, I didn't realise Valentine's Day is the same date every year!"[/B] - Silly cockney. [B]"Welcome to Glasgow. Please turn your watch back 25 years."[/B] - Frankie Boyle. [b]"The planet is dying. Recycle your paper bags and use them to suffocate your children!"[/B] - Frankie Boyle. I have so many more from my friends and me but my mind is blank at the moment. Most of them, really, are a 'have to be there' moment.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna_Mom Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [quote name='Vicky'][size=1][B]"Welcome to Glasgow. Please turn your watch back 25 years."[/B] - Frankie Boyle..[/size][/QUOTE]I could use that for here. Just switch out Glasgow and put Provo and change the years to 50. You'd have where I live down pat once you did that. o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [FONT=Arial][I]"Mondays are great because . . . well, when you get to be my age, any day you wake up above ground is a good day."[/I] –my Statics professor[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]?No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.? -Christopher Morley ?Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.? -Robert Heinlein[/FONT][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [color=deeppink][b]Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.[/b] -Julius Henry Marx [b]"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"[/b] - Vizzini[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 "I do cartwheels down the thin line between genius and insanity!" - Me. "The world is fuzzy. Soft and fuzzy..." - My friend when I let her try on my glasses! "I'm sure the Amish would love to know you think they're cute." -ChibiHorsewoman "Shut up you!" - My beloved English/Lit./Math teacher "Every time you forget a negative sign in this room it floats up off the paper, into the ceiling, and leaves one of those ugly marks that you see up there. So don't forget them!" - Same person as above! "I WILL SQUISH YOU!" - Monarck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLarge Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [B][SIZE=1]"No-one will buy the ice-cream truck if you give away the ice-cream for free!"[/SIZE][/B][I][/I][SIZE=1]- my good friend Meg in a very roundabout metaphor for sex. [B]"Later on I'll be telling you how my dangerous and ultimately lethal addiction to various forms of hard narcotics actually saved me from my previous addiction to born-again Christianity." "I love Catholicism: it's my favourite form of mind-controlling clandestine evil." [/B]- both from the peerless Mr Stewart Lee. [B]"If we're so intelligent, how come even the most brilliant mathmetician will sometimes bite the inside of his own face?" [/B]- Dara O'Briain on intelligent design. [B]"Do you think Gordon Brown would be a more popular Prime Minister if he had an eyepatch instead of a glass eye?" [/B]- that one was me! [B]"Friendship is a lot like peeing on yourself - everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings." [/B]- I don't know if this is a famous one, but my friend Jonny always says it. He also says: [B]"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" "If you wanna be a big cop in a small town, ******* off up the model village!" [/B]- my favourite line from Hot Fuzz. I'll probably think of more later on. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [B]"Communicating with the presence of eternity in the soul of the earth"[/B] - Originally my way of explaining the anime Arjuna in one phrase, became the deinition of my spiritual beliefs. I just enjoy the phrasing. Also my senior quote. I could do a bunch from anime, but they'd be... from anime. I guess there's the classic from when my little brother was like 9... [B] "Is July fourth the fourth of July?"[/B] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [SIZE="1"]Major props to those who've posted quotes from Mock The Week, and DeLarge for quoting Dara O'Briain. [In scenes we'd like to see: what a television announcer is unlikely to say] The following episode of Songs of Praise contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature. - [B]Frankie Boyle[/B] Ernie and Bert have been cohabiting for thirty five years, they live in a five bedroom apartment, but they sleep in the same bedroom. Suspicious? - [B]Chuck Nice[/B] Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money. - [B]Doug Benson[/B] Why does every celebrity feel the need to name their child something that everyone will completely make fun of. - [B]Ophira Eisenberg[/B][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [size=1]Mock the Week, you say?! Well, I can't remember who said this, but: [B][CENTER]THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY WHEN MEETING THE QUEEN[/CENTER] "...So how did you kill Diana?"[/B] I laughed so hard that slapped myself because it's so [i]horribly[/i] wrong. It's one of those 'I couldn't...' but you laugh anyway moments.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [quote name='Vicky'][size=1]Mock the Week, you say?! Well, I can't remember who said this, but: [B][CENTER]THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY WHEN MEETING THE QUEEN[/CENTER] "...So how did you kill Diana?"[/B] I laughed so hard that slapped myself because it's so [i]horribly[/i] wrong. It's one of those 'I couldn't...' but you laugh anyway moments.[/size][/QUOTE] [SIZE="1"] *Is hitting the table while struggling for breath from laughing* And a few more from MTW because it gave me such a laugh. Supersize Me is kinda like Willy Wonka meets Jackass. - [B]John Aboud[/B] Is anybody really surprised there is another Paris Hilton sex tape? I bet if I look in my garage long enough, I will find a Paris Hilton sex tape. - [B]Michael Colton[/B][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Tremaine Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [COLOR=#503f86]"There's an old saying that goes 'People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'. Okay, I'm cool with that. But how about 'Nobody should throw stones'? My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation'." - [B]Demetri Martin[/B][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLarge Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [SIZE=1]I get the feeling Gavin might get angry at me about this one, but... [/SIZE][CENTER][SIZE=1][B]THINGS YOU DIDN'T HEAR AT THE OLYMPICS [/B][/SIZE][LEFT][SIZE=1][B]"...And it's a Gold for Ireland!"[/B][/SIZE] - [SIZE=1]Andy Parsons[/SIZE] [SIZE=1]I'll stop spamming the thread with MTW quotes now.[/SIZE] [/LEFT] [/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [size=1]You'll stop spamming... I won't! (also Mock the Week fans: The band was... Shawaddy Waddy!) [B]"I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying "My dad's bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!" So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it!"[/b] - Frankie Boyle [B][[i]If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months[/i]] "How long does it take Abu Hamza to tie his shoelace?"[/B] - Hugh Dennis [B]"And if you have an opinion about this news story, why not keep it to yourself?"[/B] - I forget, haha. Ahahaaaa.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenso Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [quote name='DeLarge'][SIZE=1]I get the feeling Gavin might get angry at me about this one, but... [/SIZE][center][SIZE=1][B]THINGS YOU DIDN'T HEAR AT THE OLYMPICS [/B][/SIZE][LEFT][SIZE=1][B]"...And it's a Gold for Ireland!"[/B][/SIZE] - [SIZE=1]Andy Parsons[/SIZE] [SIZE=1]I'll stop spamming the thread with MTW quotes now.[/SIZE] [/LEFT] [/center][/quote] [COLOR=SeaGreen][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]That's because drinking isn't an Olympic sport.....*ducks for cover* On topic, and I'm sure I'm gonna get ripped on by somebody for this. [B]"Well, I've often thought that the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction." - Sir Ian McKellen[/B] Video containing above: [URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IfYvFZjouA[/URL] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLarge Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [SIZE=1]Fine, you've pushed me. [/SIZE][CENTER][SIZE=1][B]ODD THINGS TO HEAR OVER A TANNOY [/B][/SIZE] [B][/B][LEFT][B][SIZE=1]"You're lonely, aren't you Russell?" [/SIZE][/B][SIZE=1]- Russell Howard[/SIZE] [CENTER][B][SIZE=1]UNLIKELY THINGS TO BE SAID IN PROGRAMME IDENTS [/SIZE][/B][LEFT][B][SIZE=1]"You're watching ITV1...why are you doing that? I've got the listings here, and...we've got nothing!" [/SIZE][/B][SIZE=1]- John Oliver [/SIZE][LEFT][SIZE=1][B]"Viewers of a nervous disposition may be interested to know your television is off and I'm speaking to you from inside your head..." [/B]- Hugh Dennis And a non-MTW one, but by a member of the MTW team. [B]"Can you imagine having sex with Stephen Fry? It would be like getting rogered by Google!" [/B]- Russell Howard [/SIZE][/LEFT] [/LEFT] [/CENTER] [/LEFT] [/CENTER] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allamorph Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 [quote name='Kenso][COLOR=SeaGreen][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]"Well, I've often thought that the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction." - Sir Ian McKellen[/B][/FONT][/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote] [CENTER][IMG]http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z158/Allamorph/Misc/lolz/Impossiblycute.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [FONT=Arial][I]And if I claim to be a wise man it surely means that I don't know.[/I] ?Kerry Livgren[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 [quote name='DeLarge'][SIZE=1]I get the feeling Gavin might get angry at me about this one, but... [/SIZE][CENTER][SIZE=1][B]THINGS YOU DIDN'T HEAR AT THE OLYMPICS [/B][/SIZE][LEFT][SIZE=1][B]"...And it's a Gold for Ireland!"[/B][/SIZE] - [SIZE=1]Andy Parsons[/SIZE] [/LEFT] [/CENTER][/QUOTE] [color=#9933ff][font=monotype corsiva][size=4]Yeah, you won't hear that in 2010 either, sorry Ireland. Makes me mad though because I thought they'd at least have a good equestrian team. Anyways, I'm glad that at least one thing went right today, okay back to quotes. [b]Meg may be mean, but at least we know she's honest[/b]- My dear friend Lisa because let's just face it, I'm brutally honest sometimes. Oh well at least I've friends who understand. [b]Boyfriend in BC[/b]- Yeah I had a meeting for financial aide today and I got a hair cut [b]me[/b]- Oh that's good Lee, now I can use my web cam and see you again. [b]Boyfriend in BC[/b]*slightly annoyed*- Why do you only want to see me when I look my best. But you don't want to see me when I look my worst? [b]Me[/b]- Look, until you're here and stuff the best you can do for me is look athstetically pleasing. Okay not the nicest thing to say, but it's a sad but true fact when you're in a long distance relationship if someone has to look at you they want to LOOK at you looking good. [b]Go ahead touch that stove, bet you won't do it again. Go ahead put that fork in that light socket, bet you won't do it again[/b]- My brother to one of his neices or his nephew [b]Oh Hell no! What do you mean he wanted to go to the Forbidden City?[/'b]- My friend Angel (who lives north of Edmonton in AB) ranting about my boyfriend wanting to go to school in Calgary before he started school in Kelowna. The Forbidden City is her 'special name' for Calgary. [b]I have a dream And in it something eats you[/b]- Happy Bunny [b]Oh man, I'm weeping like a hubcap here[/b]- My friend Nisa. [b]The reason they have the boarder between the US and Canada is because that's the cut off where the people in the US can't tolerate cold weather[/b]- My various Canadian friends about the boarder. What I'd like to know is how do they explain Alaska? [B][CENTER][COLOR="SeaGreen"]☻[/COLOR][COLOR="Green"]Irish quotes![/color][COLOR="SeaGreen"]☺[/COLOR][/COLOR][/CENTER][/B] [B][color=#9933ff]An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the edge of the world[/B]- This is so true, I mean how else do you explain my nearly Brother-in-law [B]Do not regret growing old, many are denied the privelege[/B]- Working in geriatric care has proven this point time and time again. Also watching the news and seeing all these people be shot or killed in wars and bombings. It's a blessing to grow old. [b]There are two kinds of people in this world. The Irish, and everyone who wishes they were Irish.[/b]- Anyone who's Irish can appreciate that type of pride. Or cheek, either way it's still a good quote.:animesmil [b]May those who love us always love us. And for those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts. And if He can't turn their hearts may He turn their ankles so we may know them by their limping[/b]- This is just funny and something I wish would happen at times.[/color][/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenso Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 [quote name='Allamorph'][center][IMG]http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z158/Allamorph/Misc/lolz/Impossiblycute.jpg[/IMG][/center] [FONT=Arial][I]And if I claim to be a wise man it surely means that I don't know.[/I] ?Kerry Livgren[/FONT][/quote] [COLOR=SeaGreen][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Not even close to trolling, Allamorph. I could've come up with something far worse than that if I was just baiting for a reaction. I just think it's a good quote, and I happen to agree with it. Here's another one, though I'm unsure of the source (seen it in someone's sig on another board ages ago). [B]"We enter this world bloody, naked, and screaming. Who says the fun has to end there?"[/B] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [size=1][b]"My life is a sea of awkward turtles..."[/b] Me, frequently. [b]"I cut my hand on the water!"[/b] - Rebecca Wright, a seriously strange girl from my school that has done way too many mind altering substances.This comment was closely followed by something about cops and being naked. [b]"I consider myself to be ganster. I would appreciate it if you played along."[/b] Me, today. [b]"I say youz a wanksta, and you need to stop frontin' >.>"[/b] Korey, in response to previous comment. I ROFLMAO'd for about ten minutes. [b]"We're so cool. ice cubes are jealous."[/b] My best friend Jon. It amused me. [b]"Whoever thought the way to a mans heart is through is stomach, is aiming about six inches too high."[/b] Haven't a clue who by, but I lol every time I read it. I will find more...eventually.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [size=1][B]Joe:[/B] You know the guy at the bottom of the TV screen who does sign language for deaf people? [B]Me:[/B] Yeaah... [B]Joe:[/B] And you know like he does music videos too? [B]Me:[/B] Yeeeeeees... [B]Joe:[/B] Do you think he can do Dragonforce? Imagine it. Then laugh. Then today/yesterday/some other day: [B]Me:[/B] Sam what would you do if you woke up in a coma? [B]Sam:[/B] Not much... [B]James (overhearing):[/B] Whaat? [B]Vonn (reading out a phone number):[/B] 079123... [B]Me:[/B] *bursts out laughing* [B]Everyone:[/B] What is it? [B]Me:[/b] Haha that's well cool. 123... [B]Joe:[/B] So what would you do Goat if you saw a man bleeding in front of you crying for help?! [B]Me:[/B] Stop laughing and reload? [b]"It's alright Goat you're not going to catch anything off Kate, she's already been checked out... at the dog kennels..."[/B] - My friend Sarah (yes I got violent after this) Like I say. They're 'had to be there' moments. The '123' one I think someone caught on camera because someone from that group always has a camera out. I got some horribly degrading comments about my intelligence...[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 [color=#9933ff][font=monotype corsiva][size=4] Okay I have to keep this going. I have a new one: [b]Stop that crying Don't you want to see Auntie Em and Uncle what's his name again? And what's the matter with you? Putting on a dead woman's shoes? Were you raised in a barn or something?[/b]- Elphaba from Wicked. That was probaby one of the funniest lines in the show- well here are some more [B]Nessa Rose[/B] What are you doing here? [b]Elphaba[/b] Well you know what they say, there's no place like home You know that couldn't be avoided especially in a musical based off of the Wizard of Oz [B]Do or do not, there is no try[/B].-Yoda You can't just be all 'oh, I'll try to do this' you have to be willing to go through with your actions 100% or they all come to nothing at the end. Plus, I get points for the Star Wars plug [B]True friendship is never serene[/B]- Marie le Cevigne This one is very true because unless you test something you never know if you're just floating along. Friends fight, but if you can't remain friends after a fight, then you weren't meant to be friends in the first place. [B]Me[/B]- So you have to draw naked people? [B]Lee[/B]- Yeah and they're ugly [B]Me[/B]- Look when you have to touch them and clean them up, then you can have my sympathy. But until then shut up This was my conversation with my boyfriend about his life drawing class. He was upset that the models weren't really that good looking. As an RA at a nursing home who has to clean people up- I don't really feel sorry for him. [B]Yes. If I ever drive by an Amish person in the future I shall roll down my window and say. "Aww so Cu ute do a lil dance please?- [/B]Chibi Master on the Amish. It was a really funny IM. Too bad I couldn't fit it all on here. We have to do another one very soon. [/color][/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [quote name='ChibiHorsewoman'][color=#9933ff][font=monotype corsiva][size=4]It was a really funny IM. Too bad I couldn't fit it all on here. We have to do another one very soon.[/color][/font][/size][/QUOTE] You don't need to fit it all! It's in your sig!:animesmil And yes, yes we do!:catgirl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 [color=deeppink]Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile! - Kurt Vonnegut Scepticism is the beginning of faith. - Oscar Wilde At the bottom of enmity between strangers lies indifference. -Soren Kierkegaard I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa It is better to be a human dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. - John Stuart Mill[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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