Heaven's Cloud Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [color=indigo] Best Friends of the opposite sex(or good friends of the same sex, or both depending on how ya swing:D)...During our lives, most of us will have to deal with having good friends that we become attracted to. This can be the sharpest double-edged sword of all time. Some people swear that thee truest loves come from good friends. Others say that a relationship with a good friend can only lead to heartache and trouble. My few experiences in the matter lead me to lean more towards the second school of thought...but before I present my case let me define a "good friend". Since most romantic relationships begin as friendship, having feelings for a "friend" doesn't usually mean trouble (actually most guys become friends with girls because they are interested in them). It is when you develop romantic feelings for a "Good Friend" that toubles can arise. A "Good Friend is someone that you often hang out with, that you confide your most intimate feelings with, they know the REAL YOU. Now many of you are probably thinking "Well, HC, if you are dating someone seriously they should also know all this, doesn't that make them 'Good Friends' too". In my opinion, no, because they wouldn't know this unless you dated them. So now that is cleared up on to the meat of my post. [b][u]Why I Don't Date Good Friends Anymore[/u][/b] [b]1. It ruins relationships with your other friends.[/b] Because your going out with a Good Friend, who inevitably hangs out with the same crowd as you, you have no escape or free time to hang with your friends, an when you have that time be careful of what you say because there is telling whose side they will take in the matter. [b]2. Lack of discovery.[/b] One of the best things about being in a relationship is learning new things about a person. If you have a relationship with a Good Friend there is usually nothing new to discover about the person. [b]3. Fear of Intimacy.[/b] Unless you have been "friends with benifts" for sometime, it is akward the first time you kiss or...(you get the idea). This is my kid sister/kid brother theory. You know this person so well that, at first it feels like being with your sibling (sort of anyway) [b]4. Worst Break Ups Ever.[/b] "They always end badly, if they didn't there wouldn't be a break up"--Cocktail Prehaps the most valid reason in my mind. When you break up with a Good Friend there is way too much crap to have to put up with. 1st There are the friends. It is hard to hang out with your friends while worrying that your X will more then likely be at the same function. 2nd The jealousy. Unless your X moved far away then the chances are you will get to see both her and her boyfriend on a regular basis (unless you ostracize yourself from your friends) this brings pent up feelings, especially if your friends all like his/hers new catch. 3rd The Loss. You have just lost one of your best friends, that means that one of the people that would help to ease your suffering at this moment is not available to talk to. More then likely your relationship will never be the same. Well give me your opinions on the matter. Would you date a Good Friend???[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delian Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 If they were like one of my best friends who I would constantly talk to, then no way in the world would I want to date them. They know too much. Right now I have a guy who has come to be a good friend of mine. I think it is because he wants to ask me out, and initially I would have said yes, but now I'm not so sure...I just hope he doesn't ask me out and we remain friends.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*GaLxY-GiRl* Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 I dated one of my friends that I've known for about, nine years... We were pretty good friends, but our new-found relationship dried up the last remains of our friendship. He started acting really strange, so I distanced myself. THEN, he started spreading really stupid rumors to his friends. That was the last straw, of course... and I ended it. Ever since then, I can never look at him the same way, literally. When I see him walking down the halls at school, I can't even make eye contact. LOL... he's always been a serious pot head, so I'm sure he's forgotten all of this... but I haven't... ohwell. He was an o.k. friend, but a sucky bf. One of my friends, recently asked me if we could be friends with benefits.... I said no. It really does ruin a good friendship, which him and I have right now... wow... I typed a lot of stuff... :drunk: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by *GaLxY-GiRl* [/i] [B]wow... I typed a lot of stuff... :drunk: [/B][/QUOTE] [color=deeppink]Sorry, this is off topic, but Galxy, I had a dream about you last night. You hacked into my computer and kept kicking me offline (I think I got that from real life since my mom does it all the time...) and I got really pissed. It was you and this huge group of thug-like men...it was sorta cool. [size=1]Man, I have a lot of dreams about hackers...:drunk:[/size] But anyway, back on topic. Yes, I would date a good guy friend. I really suck at relationships, so I don't know how it would turn out... It also depends on the guy...I have one friend I've known since we were in diapers, and I still love hanging out with him! Though, he is someone I couldn't bring myself to date...we've known each other for too long :) So, in the end, yes, I would date a good friend. Especially if we hadn't known each other for TOO long...heh :angel:[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 Yeah I'd date a good friend...it's okay since I know that it's safe and everything just to have a good time together with someone you care about. Eh, just as long as it doesn't end up in the bedroom or in the backseat of a car... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 Erm, I'd only date friends in the first place. It's awesome to find out new things about someone, but at the same time, it's also nice to have a little foundation to build on as well. I probably wouldn't date like, a reallreally good friend I had known since childhood or something (not that I'll ever be in this situation; I don't know my 'childhood' friends anymore because I moved back in the 3rd grade and was friendless for about 3 years... v_v). It would just be weird, and pretty bound to fail. There are exceptions in all cases, but it's rare for this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [SIZE=1]Yes, I would date a good friend. I prefer to get to be 'good friends' with a person before I think about dating them. I disagree with the "lack of discovery" concept, cause you may discover that you don't really like the person at all and then you break up, and you may do that over and over again wuith a bunch of other people, I honestly don't like the idea of having a lot of break-ups in my past. I like to get to know the person better to see if the relationship could actually go somewhere. I do this with every girl I become interested in, which really isn't many, but still. I am interested this one right now. She just makes me so happy all the time, just everything about her. We've gone on 'dates' a few times already, but they were just as friends. We went to hockey games and stuff, andI missed most of the game because I was just kinda watching what she was doing, andi noticed that she plays with her hands a lot, or whatever she may have on her wrist at the time (watch, bracelet, etc.). It's one of the funnest things, just watching her play with her hands. It's just one of the many things I enjoy about her. But at the same time it makes me kinda sad, because if she's playing with them, then it's like they're alone. And I always want to reach over and hold them so they don't have to be alone, but I know we havn't really crossed that line yet so I don't. But it is something to look forward to. I like to take things slow to be honest. I mean, just starting off dating, you don't need to start kissing just because you're boyfriend&girlfriend now. Holding hands is a good way to start. And by the time you get to the point where you want to kiss each other, it won't seem so weird because you've already gotten used to each other. A relationship with me wouldn't ruin my relationship with my other friends at all. I don't actually hang out with them too often, I just see 'em at school and whatnot, and talk to them on the phone/internet whenever I do. So dating a good friend wouldn't really ruin anything there. There are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There's plenty of time to do stuff with your other friends. And the worst break up ever? Not with me really. If I feel things slipping I bring it up and talk about it, it's mostly my fault, cause I've been in a relationship before and it was and I admitted to that. Of course she was the witchy type (witchy is just my less vulgar way of saying something that ryhmes with it) and didn't talk to me ever again, but her friends still did, so that was cool enough. And they didn't really talk about the break-up or anything, and it really didn't bother me that we broke up. There's a song that goes along with that kinda. I'll just type them for the heck of it, skip down if you don't care to read it: [b]"Won't Say it Again"[/b] the Fonzarellies [i][b]i don't want an answer i don't wanna know how far can you take me how far can this go? you planned ahead but you failed to realize that what i said won't last all night i meant every word i said won't say it again i wanna get out go through it again i've gotta learn i'm way too young to fall in love like this now you're way too blind to see the things you'd miss want it all? i want it all now i'm seein' through dead eyes and i'm watching you fall it don't take long to realize baby and break throught the walls when i leave we'll have such lonely nights but you'll find another guy and i'm sure he'll treat you right and all those promises i never seen 'em through now i can't find the words i need to say to you it'll alll be o.k. life's a lesson, anyway i learned i wasn't good enough for you[/b][/i] You can also hear the song if you want by clicking the 'MP3' link in my sig by the name 'the Fonzarellies' it'll take you to a site where you can listen to it if you wanna. Anyways, in a nutshell, ya I would date a good friend.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 I could never date my best friends... he's good looking I guess but I don't find him attractive in anyway.. he's my best friend, and thats how I'll always see him... As far as regular friends go... I would date some of them... for me, I don't hold grudges or whatever from a breakup... in most cases, my ex's become even better friends then they were before. Plus I can't stand it when people are mad at me... so I tend to make up with everyone... regardless if I like them or not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittie Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 i did it once! :) and it worked out [b] [i] treally [/b] [/i] well for me!! :love: i guess it's different for everyone! i'd do it again...sure why not!! :laugh: and we never did treally break-up...it was more like he left (to and i left!! we still talk too... :love2: :wave: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 I am in that position right now with a girl from my school. She is a very good friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssj babe Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 i would never date my best friend because usually there like a brother or sister to u depending if they r a girl or a boy. would u ever want to date ur brother or sister?? i don't think so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewizard Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 Done it before, and I would do it again (It didn't work the first time, but I don't care. Just the kind of guy I am). When you go out with someone you were friends with they could turn into real, er, nevermind. Point is, I was friends with a girl for a year. I went out with her. She started getting all wierd and bitchy on me. Then, we mutually broke up. She acted like I was the one who was acting strange. Maybe I was. Oh well. We weren't friends anymore afterward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 it depends on the relationship. here's two examples: 1) my best relationship ever was w/ my best friend, steve. we had known each other for fours years when we got together. i was 18. he treated me like gold. we had a lot of fun together, too. he was also [I]the best sex ever. EVER.[/I] i am not kidding. i don't even know how i'll have better sex than that ever again. :bawl: he's married to my friend jessica now. i got them together. keeping his sexual prowess in the circle, heheh. 2) there's this one guy i know named tommy. he has got to be one of the finest guys i've ever seen. i've known him for 13 years. but every time i fantasized about him, i felt weird. it would be like kissing my brother, so, no way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hinata Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [COLOR=royalblue] Ive dated my best friend before twice actually and both times were very awesome!!! I can't complain we were good for each other and I did love him very much. But now him and I aren't together but we are still the best of friends and that's all that mattered to me!!!! [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Videl~ Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 Nope, now way, never again!! I dated a friend I'd known for 3 years and at first it went really well then he started going all weird and jealous on me and in the end I couldn't stand it anymore. Unfortunately he had been in that circle of friends for longer than I had so I ended up not seeing many of them any more :bawl: Anyway four years later I got a call from him saying "I was just clearing out my attic and I found your number in this old diary and thought I'd give you a call......." I should have been suspicious then, but I missed his friendship so much that I agreed to met up for a drink. After a couple of nights out where we got on really well I was thinking yes! maybe I've finally got a friend back but no......later that night I got [I]the[/I] phone call....."Oh Andie I've misssed you so much.....I still really love you........can we get back togethr?" Er....no!!! Not after the way He treated me. But thats just my story, one of my best mates has just married her best friend of 8 years and they have a beautiful daughter together so I guess it just depends on the people, but think seriously about the consequences before you date a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [B]I would go out with a best friend but not someone that I knew REALLY well, but I mean if it does end badly thats life and you have to deal with it[/B] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirate Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 I fully agree with TransticNerve. I would never be able to date a best freind. it would always seem to me that she was a best freind, no more. But i was thinking about it for a while........................................................................................................................ Nah.:smooch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [FONT=century gothic]The only really close friendship I've ever had with a boy was in grade school. I don't know if I'd date him now, but I wish desperately that I'd kept in touch with him after we both transferred schools... And a friend of mine asked me out earlier this year. I said no...I didn't have enough time, and it would just be too strange for me....[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pressure Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [COLOR=purple]Many times as I'd suffered through friend relationships... I never got it... *holds up uno finger* do not date your friends... it just.. doesn't work... c'mon... look at me [i]DBZChikaGhan[/i] and Eric [i]Krillen[/i]. we were good friends... and then we found out we liked one another... i dont want to go into what happened next.. but now we never speak, and when we do it's usually a nasty, snide remark do not date friends[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkey Posted January 11, 2002 Share Posted January 11, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Bluewizard [/i] [B]Done it before, and I would do it again (It didn't work the first time, but I don't care. Just the kind of guy I am). When you go out with someone you were friends with they could turn into real, er, nevermind. Point is, I was friends with a girl for a year. I went out with her. She started getting all wierd and bitchy on me. Then, we mutually broke up. She acted like I was the one who was acting strange. Maybe I was. Oh well. We weren't friends anymore afterward. [/B][/QUOTE] Dude, that's exactly what happened to me! You got it down to the last detail! Anyway, yeah I've dated good friends and I don't mind doing it again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted January 12, 2002 Share Posted January 12, 2002 [COLOR=purple]Frankley, friends would be the only people I could go out with... I'm way to shy. I avoid girls most of the time... I also think most people are vain, so I deliberately act like a moron to make sure they don't find attractive in any way... And I don't have to beat my face in with a bat or wear a mask, because I'm already ugly... Of course, the best relationship for me would be an e-relationship... Less of a chance of me humiliating myself. Also I am a lot better with words over the net... I can't speak one sentance without stuttering... Hmm... Let's name my fault's, shall we? *a chorus of "Yeah's" and "My favorite game!" ring out" I'm into cartoons and other things aimed at younger people. I stutter. When I talk fast, my voice gets high. I make bad jokes. I make REALLY bad jokes. I'm annoying. Especially when I'm hyper. I'm not going to get into my looks... I walk strange. I dress nerdy. I AM nerdy. Actually, I'm Nerdsy... My normal voice is annoying... I have the WORST smile in the world... I smile whenever thje slightest thing amuses me... Now, tell me, who else but a friend would look past that and go out with me?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*GaLxY-GiRl* Posted January 12, 2002 Share Posted January 12, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by BabyGirl [/i] [B][size=1][color=deeppink]Sorry, this is off topic, but Galxy, I had a dream about you last night. You hacked into my computer and kept kicking me offline (I think I got that from real life since my mom does it all the time...) and I got really pissed. It was you and this huge group of thug-like men...it was sorta cool. Man, I have a lot of dreams about hackers...:drunk:[/size][/color] [/B][/QUOTE] Thug-like men, huh? Yep, those [i]are[/i] my friends... yes, yes, indeed they are... Bwaha.... that's a really cool dream, though. I wish I could dream more often... I swear (by my grannie's 70 year old foot) I haven't experienced REM for about 3 weeks, now... *experiences another waking halucination* Cripes! [size=1]Umm... [b]no[/b]. I [i]still[/i] don't date close friends. lol ;)[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted January 12, 2002 Share Posted January 12, 2002 i just thought of this. try to be sure that the person feels the same way before you confess your feelings. if they don't feel the same way, it could ruin the friendship. that happened to me w/ my best friend at the time, doug. after i told him, he totally avoided me & never called me again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Voodookanaka Posted January 12, 2002 Share Posted January 12, 2002 .........im in love with my best mate........... um..............everyone ive ever dated has been my mate first, im not very good at meeting new ppl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust Posted January 13, 2002 Share Posted January 13, 2002 geese,my guy friend likes me,in that way,u know,but he hasn't asked me out,cause I like Logan,(don't ask how I know all this,long story),anyway,I have no clue whatsoever if I would go out w/ him or not,prolly,he's quite a cutie:love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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