Writing Final Fantasy VII: The Immortal

[RedJ]

Well, I figured I would get some critique/opinions/feedback on my FF fiction. I more than likely wont post the whole thing here, but for now, here is the prolougue. For those familiar with FFVII, this takes place three years after Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII. Hope you enjoy. WARNING: Cloud and Tifa fangirls/boys, you may shoot me for this.

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Cloud Strife slowed the motorcycle down as it ascended the steep hill. Once he reached the top of the hill, he pulled Fenrir to a complete stop. Removing his goggles, Cloud climbed off Fenrir, standing on the now solid ground- he had been riding for ages, and his legs had been about to fall asleep. He turned and looked at the very edge of the cliff he now stood upon, glancing at the buster sword that he had placed in the ground several years ago. The sword had begun to rust slightly, and several plants seemed to be covering it. Cloud walked over to it, several memories rushing back to him as he approached. The sword's original wielder, what the sword itself had gone through...and how it had come to be into Cloud's possession...

Cloud instantly stopped walking. He looked around, sensing something nearby....and it defiantly wasn't a monster, not your average one at least. He made his way back to Fenrir to retrieve his sword. [I]What could it be...? I've never had problems with monsters up here before...[/I] Cloud thought as the many slots inside Fenrir popped open, revealing a sword in each one. He quickly grabbed one and turned around.

?My, my, how you've grown.?

Cloud stared at the person who spoke to him, resisting the temptation to let his mouth hang open. The man wore a long red leather jacket, and had long brown hair, extending almost all the way to his blue eyes. ?You! But...you were killed-?

?'Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return.'? the man interrupted as he drew his sword. ?Loveless, Act V.? Without a moment's hesitation, the man lunged forward at Cloud. Cloud was ready, however. He leaped in the air and raised his sword in the air, and a blue light surrounded it. He brought it down upon the ground as he landed, sending three different waves of energy at the man. But the man simply stepped out of the way and shot a Fire spell at Cloud, followed by a volley of several more Fire spells. Cloud couldn't dodge them all- block some, and maybe dodge a few more, but some where going to hit him. And Cloud did just that- hit sent what few he could back at the man, and dodged another set of them. He leaped into the air again in an attempt to avoid more, but he soon learned this was a big mistake. Once he was high enough in the air, the man pointed at Cloud, causing all the fireballs Cloud had just dodged and reflected back at him. And suspended in midair like that, Cloud was a sitting duck. All the fireballs hit Cloud at once. The man sent a final fireball at Cloud, who was already trapped in the sphere of fire, which exploded upon the new fireball made contact. And it wasn't a small explosion either- it was quite large. Cloud limply fell to the ground, landing hard on the ground flat on his back. Cloud slowly tried to stand, and somehow he had the strength to do so.

The man laughed. ?Quiet admirable, Cloud Strife. I think I see why Sephiroth was defeated by you now...then again, Sephiroth wasn't exactly as great as everyone thought he was, now was he?? he said, raising his sword up in the air. The light of the now setting sun hit the man's sword, causing it to glow a blood red. Runes that were engraved upon the blade began to glow and become clearly visible. He charged at Cloud, who had just now managed to stand. Cloud just managed to block the man's attack with his sword.

?Why are you doing this? And how are you still alive?? Cloud asked. The man simply chuckled as he continued his barrage of attacks. Cloud, weakened by the man's Fire attack, was barely able to stand. With each of the man's attacks, Cloud became weaker and weaker. But he couldn't die here....there was no way he was about to die now. Cloud then pushed the man back with all his might the next time their swords clashed, and jumped back to Fenrir. He grabbed yet another sword and again leaped in the air, his body glowing. Once on the ground, he twirled the sword he had retrieved around in a circle. He had to use it- his ultimate attack, Omnislash. He raised the sword up in the air-

And then stopped. He stood their motionless for a moment, then simultaneously dropped his swords. The man slowly pulled his red sword from Cloud's now bleeding chest, his face not showing a single hint of emotion. Cloud started to fall to the ground, but the man grabbed his face before he could hit the ground and raised Cloud up in the air. No...I can't die here...not here..not now...I have a family waiting for me...

As if reading Cloud's thoughts, the man said ? 'My friend, the fates are cruel. There are no dreams, no honor remains. The arrow has left the bow of the goddess. My soul, corrupted by vengeance Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey In my own salvation...And your eternal slumber'. The man's hand began to glow. ?Loveless, Act IV.? he said as he fired one more fireball. The explosion nearly took of Cloud's head. The man dropped Cloud, letting him fall to the ground. Cloud could see nothing now- the explosion had blinded him permanently. But that made no difference now- Cloud felt his life slowly slipping away, and he could no longer breath....

His last thoughts before losing his life was-

[I]Tifa...Zach....Rayne...[/I]





Tifa smiled as her and Cloud's twin children, Zach and Rayne lay in their cribs asleep. She bent down and kissed both of them on their forehead. Zach already looked so much like Cloud, only he had dark, almost black hair like his mother. And Rayne had obviously inherited her mother's looks, only her hair was a light blonde color, almost white, though it would become darker as she grew. Once she made sure one last time that the two were asleep, Tifa slowly crept out of the room and quietly shut the door behind her.

Tifa and Cloud had been married for three years now, and the children were only two years old. Tifa smiled as she remembered Cloud proposing to her- it was obviously hard for him to get the right words out, because he kept pausing mid sentence and thinking about what he was going to say. They had decided that once they were married they wold remain in Edge, running the Seventh Heaven bar that they had started along with Barret. And then it wasn't long before the kids came along- but they certainly weren't expecting twins. It was a good thing they had decided on names beforehand though- Zach, after one of Cloud's closest friends from Shinra, and basically his hero, and Rayne, after Cloud's deceased mother, much to Cloud's slight protest.

Tifa looked up at the clock. It was 10 pm, and yet Cloud wasn't home yet...Tifa began to wonder if something was wrong.[I] Maybe I should call him...[/I] she thought. She sat staring at the clock for another good five minutes before worry finally set in. Tifa reached in her pocket for her phone, which automatically began to ring. She hurriedly took out the phone and answered it.

?Cloud?? she asked desperately. But there was no reply. ?Hello?? she said again, but still nothing.

?I'm afraid Cloud is unable to come to the phone right now.? came a voice both on the phone and from behind her.

Tifa quickly turned around and saw a man wearing a red leather jacket holding Cloud's phone. The man parted his hair from his face, revealing his blue eyes.

?What have you done with Cloud?? Tifa demanded. But the man didn't answer. He simply dropped Cloud's phone on the floor and stomped on it, smashing it to pieces. Tifa lunged forward at the mysterious man, but the man simply reached up and grabs Tifa's fist. Before Tifa could do anything else, the man had drawn his sword.

? 'To become the dew that quenches the land. To spare the sands, the seas, the skies, I offer thee this silent sacrifice.'? and within a second Tifa had been impaled right through the chest. The man released her and she fell to the ground, her blood pouring out on the floor. ?Loveless, Act V.? he said.






The next day, Cloud's body was discovered by a citizen of Edge who had seen the explosion from the cliff the previous night. When someone went to inform Tifa of the bad news and tried to call her, she did not answer. The children cried as the phone rang loudly, waking them up, which was followed by people busting into the house only to find her dead....