Gavin Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='chibi-master']PSH. I'm not getting a funeral. Such luxurious things are only for the highest ranking employees. I'm more like the disgusting little lump of chibi goo that licks his shoes clean. I get to be dumped at the side of a highway with nice scenery, if I'm lucky.[/quote] [SIZE=1]I see you've finished the employee handbook, that's good, you're now familiar with the protocols that occur in relation to employee death. Slight update will be added next quarter however, we will no longer be dumping bodies on the roadside, something about increased traffics accidents or some petty concern like that and it's becoming irritating having to make all those legal cases (and their plaintiffs) disappear. Rest assured however for an employee such as yourself who shows promise you won't be subjected to regular post-life reappropriation and used as a supplement/substitute for offal in our range of pet foods. Should you perform exceptionally well in the future I may even have you coated in bronze and donate you as part of [/SIZE][strike][SIZE=1]some trifling[/SIZE][/strike][SIZE=1] a moderately expensive park fountain. That is of course should you not be assassinated by another promising underling in which case your remains will be added to the cement of said fountain for another more worthy employee who has entered into post-life service. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sangome Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]Thanks for the 'grats, guys. Well now I know to never work at Wal-Mart. TARGET, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *stampedes in their direction while waiting for something about how they're infinitely worse or whatever* On another note, I now know that playing FFVII late at night while drinking Mountain Dew Voltage does strange things to my mind while I sleep. And it's AWESOME![/SIZE][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='Sangome'][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=1]Well now I know to never work at Wal-Mart.[/SIZE][/FONT][/quote] [SIZE=1]Work at Wal-Mart ? You act like you'd have some kind of choice in the matter. If I want a particular employee added to the roster they're head-hunted and I don't think I need to point out the double-meaning therein if there's a refusal of my most generous offer. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pax et agape Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='Sangome'][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=1]Thanks for the 'grats, guys. Well now I know to never work at Wal-Mart. TARGET, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *stampedes in their direction while waiting for something about how they're infinitely worse or whatever* On another note, I now know that playing FFVII late at night while drinking Mountain Dew Voltage does strange things to my mind while I sleep. And it's AWESOME![/SIZE][/FONT][/quote] Odd, I was playing FFVXII (only five numbers different) late last night though I was just drinking coffee. Odd dreams that I can't quite remember nonetheless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='Sangome'][FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE=1]Well now I know to never work at Wal-Mart.[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE] Futile is your resistance. :whoops: There's a slight chance that my school will issue a snow day tomorrw. I hope they dooo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='chibi-master']Futile is your resistance. :whoops:[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Strange is your choice to talk like Yoda when your employer is a Sith Lord. As for me, I'm working on an immortality serum. This can only benefit Gavin in the long run, because he'll save money on disposing of me if he never has to and, of course, he'll want the final product for himself. So basically how long I stay alive is fully a matter of when I make my move with my backstabbin' knife and whether the move is actually successful (it probably won't be.)[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachmaninoff Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [FONT="Trebuchet MS"][quote name='Ace][FONT="Comic Sans MS"']Strange is your choice to talk like Yoda when your employer is a Sith Lord.[/FONT][/quote]I was wondering about that myself. You need to change your speech pattern to that of the Borg chibi. Mindless drones don't have a more unique method of speaking. The more you do that, the more it becomes obvious that you need further brainwashing. =P[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='Ace'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Strange is your choice to talk like Yoda when your employer is a Sith Lord.[/FONT][/QUOTE] I killed Yoda and stole his speech patterns in order to torment those that oppose us and happen to like Yoda. As for the immortality serum, Fernando in packaging and shipping has already invented such a thing and Gavin is immortal as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 [quote name='chibi-master']As for the immortality serum, Fernando in packaging and shipping has already invented such a thing and Gavin is immortal as it is.[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Must be a dud, then. I killed Fernando in packaging and shipping last Thursday.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [quote name='Ace'][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Must be a dud, then. I killed Fernando in packaging and shipping last Thursday.[/FONT][/quote] [center][IMG]http://zeitgeistglee.250free.com/Palpatine.jpg[/IMG] [/center] [SIZE=1]You killed Fernando ? Do you have any idea how instrumental that man was to the efficient running of the shipping department ? You will pay the price for your lack of vision. While it entertains me greatly when underlings jockey for my favour should any of you negatively affect the running of my Empire I will, I promise you, make you regret the day you left your mother's womb. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [quote name='Gavin'][SIZE=1]You killed Fernando ? Do you have any idea how instrumental that man was to the efficient running of the shipping department ?[/SIZE][/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]he insulted your mother, milord. I'd go into detail, but I doubt you'd want his comments to be heard publicly. Besides, now you know his immortality serum was entirely ineffective against a lightsaber to the neck. Clearly his efforts were in vain. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Javier from Accounting was looking for a promotion anyway. He's good with heavy lifting, so.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [quote name='Ace'][FONT=Comic Sans MS]he insulted your mother, milord. I'd go into detail, but I doubt you'd want his comments to be heard publicly. Besides, now you know his immortality serum was entirely ineffective against a lightsaber to the neck. Clearly his efforts were in vain. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Javier from Accounting was looking for a promotion anyway. He's good with heavy lifting, so.[/FONT][/quote] [SIZE="1"]Lies and slander, Fernando was one of my oldest and most trusted employees. I have no need for an immortality serum, Fernando merely prepared my afternoon tea which irks me even more because I demand my tea be delivered to me absolutely on time, which of all my numerous underlings only Fernando managed without a single error in many long years of service. So, having botched your attempt at a promotion Ace I'm giving you a reassignment to tea-boy and head of shipping and delivery. You have one week to impress me with your capability or you shall be joining Fernando's enormous bronze statue as part of the foundations, alive. As for you remark regarding one of my accountants that's also a blatant lie, I specifically only hire accountants on the basis that they enjoy cheating the IRS and leaving them no method of legal retaliation, enjoy being part of a multinational organisation which destroys people's lives through rampant consumerism in the pursuit of unattainable satisfaction and of course are competent accountants who enjoy their work in return for a competitive salary. Now unless you would like to attempt some other feeble usurpation my foolish apprentice I suggest you boil the kettle and ready my afternoon tea.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I was about to question your decision to put me in charge of something you ingest regularly, given my Starscramish attitude towards the company, but then I realized that such a job would require me to taste-test, as well. I suppose I'd better get on that now, then. :animesigh[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi-master Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 *NOMs popcorn* This is freaking better than late-night television!:catgirl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sangome Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]*throws M&Ms into the popcorn* Seriously, M&Ms and popcorn, with salt? Nummy. <3[/SIZE][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooperson Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [SIZE="1"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][I]Grumble grumble I hate school grumble grumble.[/I][/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spectacular Professor Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [quote name='chibi-master']*NOMs popcorn* This is freaking better than late-night television!:catgirl:[/QUOTE] [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]You do realize that the only reason you don't get this level of his wrath is because you're self-admittedly near the bottom of his minion totem pole. Just sayin'.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [size=1][finds this all greatly amusing.][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaNz Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I am really lazy, so i dont know why i all of the sudden got a gym membership. and it really doesnt help when i go in and see a girl with spagetti arms outlifting me... oh, and i figure i would talk with athis girl next to me, see if we have anything in common, and i kid you not she is a supermodle strait from L.A. ... I am friggen 2 hours easy away from L.A. its just rediculous.... but i have gone and commited myself -___- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nony Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 America is full of white people. This is nothing new to me, yet seeing them all is shocking. I'm still used to throngs of Asians walkin' around, yet... where are they now?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sangome Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]They're too busy hiding from insane fangirls. :animesmil[/SIZE][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nony Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [quote name='Sangome'][FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]They're too busy hiding from insane fangirls. :animesmil[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE] That is a possibility, yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunfallE Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]More like rabid Twilight fans. [I][SIZE="1"]*shot*[/SIZE][/I][/COLOR][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sangome Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"][SIZE="1"]Why would rabid Twilight fans care about Asians, though? Unless they're, like, hounding them for an anime...[/SIZE][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunfallE Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 [FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Because they're making a Twilight Manga? I dunno. Why would regular fangirls bother Asians in the first place? =P[/COLOR][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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